Please someone tell me it’s not THAT painful

[anmummy]

Just watched an episode of one born every minute and this woman was SCREAMING, and I mean screaming from the top of her lungs. She was kicking the bed, trying to roll off of it, and was clearly in agonising uncontrollable unbearable pain. I’m due in 1 week!!! This is not what I needed to see 🤣 I’m so scared. someone tell me their positive stories. This is my first time. I know everyone has a different experience. I’m just hoping I can do this! I’m unbelievably scared now.

I had one with an epidural and one without. I'd have the epidural every single time.
That birth was calm, with laughter.
The other one. Well, it hurt like the billyo!!

It's going to be so different for everyone due to pain thresholds and if you decide to have any pain relief.

It's definitely not painless but it's honestly not that bad either. You really do forget about the pain as soon as you hold the baby.

I had a back to back baby.
First 16 hours I managed with just breathing techniques and gas and air, then I freaked out - that's when it REALLY got painful, up to that point it was just deeply uncomfortable but I was still able to move around.
Had I not panicked I'm pretty sure the medics wouldn't have insisted on intervention, but it is amazing how quickly the pain disappears once they hand you a baby!
Can't say it's put me off having more!

For my first it was 16 hours in total but 12 of those were chilling at home (the first 4 I wasn't even sure if I was 'really' in labour!). It was only the last 2 hours that were incredibly painful. And I can do anything for just 2 hours.

A contraction timing app really helped me as im quite visual. Once I was in the full swing of things I knew a contraction never lasted more than 40 secs for me. So it really helped me to look at the phone and just focus on the numbers going up. I told myself that each time it hit 40 or sooner, the contraction would be over. It helped. When dh didn't start the app at the exact right time he got yelled at 'ffs I said show me the numbers!' Poor man

Different for everyone but I had 2 with no pain relief. IMO the contractions are the worst, if you can cope with them the actual delivery is fine. And the contractions don't get sorer as they go on, you just tire of them. Stay as active as you can. I hugely believe staying active during pregnancy makes a big difference too but you're a bit late for that advice 🤣

2 vaginal births

Not that bad tbh

Caveat: I spent years suffering horrendous periods. At least I got a baby after the pain of childbirth!

I also did this and found it helped massively, although I counted myself and kept saying by the time I get to 20 it will be over and it always was I must of counted slowly 😂 I think having something to focus ok is good.

@Merrz the midwives thought I was crazy! They kept saying the baby will soon be here, no need to prove to us with you're all that you're in active labour, we believe you, put your phone away etc! They just didn't get it- I wasn't trying to 'prove' anything. Glad I wasn't the only person in the world to have used this technique as that's certainly his I felt at the time!

How

Have a water birth if you can- it was SO helpful in managing the pain - can not imagine giving birth out of water!

Would it help you to know that if I could live over a day of my life again I'd pick the two days I had my children - even with all the pain of the delivery as they were the most unbelievably awesome days!

With my first baby I kept waiting for the pain to get worse and to be constant. It never did. Have definitely had worse toothaches and migraines.

Agree

I got food poisoning about 8 months after my daughter was born and I can remember during it saying to my husband that being ill with food poisoning was so much worse than labour!

It is painful but epidurals are wonderful.

I was scared but I have had 3 and not had an epidural with any of them. I managed with gas and air. It was painful but I found the breathing exercises I had learned really helped as well as the gas and air. They were all straightforward births and I walked around a lot during labour.

I once had chronic pancreatitis- which was terribly painful- and giving birth was nowhere near as painful as that was. I kept reminding myself of that.

Giving birth was less painful than leg cramp, the first week of breastfeeding, or stepping on a plug (I’ve had two babies, one who was 9lb). I tell this to anyone who will listen because I think the only things you hear/see on tv are the really dramatic birth ‘horror’ stories and the positive birth stories don’t get a look in!

It's very painful
Every time is different
I've done vaginal 4 times with G&A - first two were water births

I found that I did have to have a serious word with myself during the 3rd. I knew I was becoming hysterical for a few minutes and it only made it 10 times worse

Once I was back on track, accepting it really hurts but will end with the best gift in the world I was ok again.

I would do it again though if that makes any sense?

It was very off putting to hear women screaming the place down when I went into hospital to have our first. Whilst it was much more fun getting the baby in there than getting it out, it wasn't THAT painful. Not painful enough to holler anyway. Made my eyes water a bit though.....

If it's relevant - I'm not sure it is as I am 6ft tall and not "petite" my babies were 9lb9, 10lb12, 8lb14 and 8lb12

I didn't scream, i mooed !! Those really deep noises, they helped me concentrate weirdly !! But yeah, it's painful op, not going to sugar coat it.
With my second I was having an elective c section, dd had other ideas and came a week early, I remember saying to dh I can't believe I'm going through this pain again, I was devastated 😆😆

Hi OP
Midwife here
Birth is indeed a very powerful experience. Because someone is screaming doesn’t mean they aren’t ok. Roll with it and pain relief is there if needed. You may or may not choose to have some. Try to really hunker down, ignore programmes like this and make your self a little nest filled with love and positivity. Good luck and let us know how you get on!

Everyone around me told me it wasn't that bad. I don't know if they were lying or if they genuinely didn't find it that bad.

For me, it was absolutely fucking horrendous. I remember thinking that I would let them chop my limbs off if it would stop the pain. Fortunately it ended in an emergency c section.

2nd time round, I opted straight for the c section.

Take all of the pain relief possible. Hopefully you are one of the lucky ones that don't find it too bad.

Haven't read all the posts, but it's manageable ime as it's only for about 60 seconds at a time. Count up to the 30 sec peak and you can count down, that makes it bearable. I had three babies with only gas and air and this is basically how I got through it! It does get a bit intense at the end but you're beyond thinking at that point. I actually found the screaming kind of empowering, like I was powerful.

And you can ask for pain relief if it's too much.