Please someone tell me it’s not THAT painful

[anmummy]

Just watched an episode of one born every minute and this woman was SCREAMING, and I mean screaming from the top of her lungs. She was kicking the bed, trying to roll off of it, and was clearly in agonising uncontrollable unbearable pain. I’m due in 1 week!!! This is not what I needed to see 🤣 I’m so scared. someone tell me their positive stories. This is my first time. I know everyone has a different experience. I’m just hoping I can do this! I’m unbelievably scared now.

Agree with others that everyone is different. I have no pain tolerance (I cry when i stub my toe) but I got through a back to back 25hr labour with a bath and G&A. In fact, i loved it and I'm actively looking forward to doing it again.

I know that sounds strange and a lot of it is down to a midwife who made me feel empowered.

Great news you're ready for ARM! Fingers crossed a bed opens up for you soon, and things continue smoothly. Rest, relax while contractions have slowed down.

You’re doing great @anmummy !

Get yourself moving about to get it going again! Best thing you can do. Good luck and as ok g as safe arrival doesn’t matter how it happens jist donwaht you want and need x

Bad health anxiety leading to your declining anaesthesia is not in your baby's interest. Stop trying to be superwoman and be guided by those caring for you.

Try to keep moving if you can, I found it best when I was standing up and pacing around then leaning on the bed during the worst of the contractions

What is everyone's obsession with a medal?? Honestly, some of us could put up with the labour we had and actively chose to have no pain relief. I'm sure the op can decide for herself.

Good luck with everything op!

I do agree with this, actually. I didn't have pain relief with my birth just because it was nothing I couldn't handle and it didn't seem necessary. Not everyone who doesn't have pain relief is a martyr to the cause.

However, I wasn't induced and I wasn't in agony or deliberately trying to avoid pain relief. I think people are concerned that the OP is foregoing something that would significantly improve her experience.

Well you will soon find out for yourself! Rest up and eat often over the next week...

Hope all went well OP

I was induced on the drip and had pethidine.

It was a long slog and some tough moments to put it mildly…but I’ve still had toothache which was worse.

I was that person rolling screaming and shouting. That being said, we started trying within a matter of months for our second and said the second I delivered my daughter how much I enjoyed labour. I am not nervous for this time around as I have done it before, and that feeling is just amazing x

So this is aneccdata but a friend has just had her baby this week, she was cracking along brilliantly at home, got to the hospital 6cm. Had an epidural within minutes ( they are in the US and I think much more standard there). Then had " delay in second stage" so fully dilated but baby in an awkward position, needed an emergency C-section.

24 hours later she was still in bed, had a catheter and a drip, having strong opiate medication and she now faces a recovery from abdominal surgery, she can't even lift the car seat !

I don't know but I do wonder if she had just dealt with the contractions for another 5 hours ( baby was born 5 hours after they arrived at the hospital) and kept moving it might have got it's self into a better position and all of that could have been avoided. She is the second woman I know who have ended up with an emergency C- section for malposition following an epidural in established labour.

That's the reward.

I'm going to piss people off, but this is my experience. I know I was lucky, and I'm not saying it's the same for anyone else. I might be the only person who felt like this. Yes-it was painful and difficult. But during and after, I felt like superwoman. I felt like everywoman. I felt so strong and powerful-it was amazing. And the sense of power carried me through the next few months. It's more than 20 years, but I can still summon up some of that strength and energy if I need it.

Perhaps she didn’t want to/couldn’t cope with the contractions any longer so opted for the epidural when she did. I had mine early to avoid getting into pain or discomfort.

You have reminded me of this brilliant poem by Sharon Olds https://www.nationalpoetrylibrary.org.uk/online-poetry/poems/language-brag

I had mine early too. It was absolute bliss.

This. But also there's a question of cause or correlation for epidurals. A baby in the wrong position is more likely to cause labour to be prolonged, and more painful. So a woman is more likely to request an epidural as a result. But that baby is still in the wrong position so will still likely need intervention.

@Goldencup Saying if she'd only 'dealt' with contractions for 5 more hours is a bit judgemental of you. Was your friend supposed to divine how much longer she would be labouring for? How do you know she hadn't reached her limit? Besides, there's not exactly a whole lot of other pain relief options on offer other than the epidural in the US. Forceps are also far less commonly used in the US, and OBGYNs are increasingly becoming deskilled in their use, leaving C-section as the only option.

I had 12 hours on the drip with my second. With my first that was the same time on the drip it took to go from 1cm to baby with a whole half an hour to spare. This time I went from 2cm to 5cm. I was cracking along lovely in all that time, until I suddenly wasn't coping at all. I needed strong pain relief to get past it, and if the length of labour thus far was any indication, extremely long lasting pain relief at that. Ergo, an epidural. Not long after that, the call was made for C-section. Baby was back to back with a deflexed head. It was extremely unlikely he'd have been able to tuck his head down by himself no matter how much time or pushing I could have done.

I get it, I really do. But making the decision isn't a zero sum game, you gain near complete pain relief but you lose the feeling of achievement and perhaps (not always) a quicker recovery.

The feeling of achievement? You have a baby - it’s irrelevant how. It’s not a lesser achievement if you have an epidural or c-section.

I enjoyed my second birth. It stung a bit but was entirely manageable with no pain relief.

First birth - contractions were hard but the worst part was it was very long. I found the pushing stage fine, just some stinging.

I actually found both my births very empowering. I felt very I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR.

Would strongly recommend being UFO (upright, forward and open) so your body can do its thing and your tail bone can move to accommodate the baby. This isn't the case lying on your back.

I'm not going to lie. It's extremely painful but the pain comes and goes. By the way, I went through two 20 hour labours and didn't scream once! Not everyone screams. I was just quietly in agony.

I felt this too. It was such a strong time and I remember my births and subsequent newborn periods very very fondly.

That is so interesting, the whole process seems much more medicalised there. Having said that I had my babies nearly 20 years ago so may be the same in UK hospitals now. I found gas and air really effective right up to the pushing bit, do you know if that is used in the US ? It just seems a pity they went straight to epidural. At 6cm with good contractions I think it's a fair bet the baby will make it's appearance in the following 4-8 hours. Of course I would never say anything, but I am sad that she will now have a much more protracted recovery.

I was taught (again 20+ years ago) that moving in labour particularly getting onto all fours helped the baby to get in the right position. Certainly rocking backwards and forwards on all fours " felt right" in my labours.

@Parker231 People are different. I felt a huge sense of achievement in growing and giving birth to a healthy baby. But I ALSO felt a sense of achievement in doing it without intervention.