Please someone tell me it’s not THAT painful

[anmummy]

Just watched an episode of one born every minute and this woman was SCREAMING, and I mean screaming from the top of her lungs. She was kicking the bed, trying to roll off of it, and was clearly in agonising uncontrollable unbearable pain. I’m due in 1 week!!! This is not what I needed to see 🤣 I’m so scared. someone tell me their positive stories. This is my first time. I know everyone has a different experience. I’m just hoping I can do this! I’m unbelievably scared now.

I think the important thing to do is try and have as many tools in your arsenal! Be it Hypno, visualisation, drugs, set sayings to ask your partner to say.

Honestly I think the hardest thing is keeping yourself as calm as possible. Listen to the midwives they are on your side I found their help absolutely amazing. Having realistic expectations helps.

By that I mean accept that your ideal birth may need to pivot due to circumstances. Every person in that room is on your and baby's side.

I found it hard work, productive pain and empowering. I was a bit surprised at the empowering piece. My delivery of the first in the company of the director of the hospital who was six-months along on her fourth. Things had got a little concerning as junior 10lb,4 wasn't moving, too far to C section.

She breezed into the room said ""now listen here junior I have cup cakes to ice" and I just remember feeling safe. I remember being afraid because there were a lot of people being in the room, I don't remember pain.

Junior was delivered and advised coming between her and her icing wasn't a great start. I remember the relief the gratitude not the pain.

It is called labour because it is hard work but you are not alone. Every person is on your side and there to help. Wishing you a positive experience and healthy little one.

It’s extremely painful op I won’t lie, My labour was induced and was back to back which only made things worse! I could t take the pain at all! I opted for epidural! Take what ever pain relief you are offered!

I found it extremely intense rather than painful. Like a huge overwhelming pressure rather than ‘ouch that hurts’ pain. It was manageable.

Thanks so much everyone for telling me your experiences. It really is true that everyone has a different experience and their own story to tell.

The thing is, I plan to go unmedicated. Not because I want to act a hero, but because I have health anxiety. The thought of having gas and air and it making me feel nauseous or lightheaded freaks me out, and the thought of having an epidural and being numb gives me another level of fear! More fear than feeling pain. I’ve seen myself having an unbearable toothache or migraine and I still won’t take a paracetamol because of the very very unlikely but possible side effects 🙄

I’m so glad to see a few people say they’ve had worse toothaches because I’ve had quite some severe ones! And if labor isn’t as bad I feel as if I’d fly through it, with a toothache you never know if or when the pain will stop but with labour it’ll all be over within hours (hopefully)

I’m hoping to go into labour naturally, I have an appt next week to schedule an induction date because I have gestational diabetes. Which I want to really avoid as apparently induction contractions are a million times worse than natural ones? Is that true?

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences. I appreciate it 🫶🏽

It hurts. It's true. However, your first contraction could be as painful as the last ( imo they don't get worst). Crowning hurts but it's very short. Back to back was very painful, felt like I had fallen off a roof onto a wall and landed on my back.

A well sited epidural and you feel nothing. 2 epidurals and two without and the last two I insisted on the epidural. Bliss

If you are induced and they put you on the drip, I really do advise an epidural.

It’s a different kind of pain to anything you’ve ever experienced. I did it with just G & A wirh 1st and nothing with 2nd and 3rd not out of choice. Emcs with fourth.
just go with it. Everyone’s different. If you want the drugs get the drugs.

I also didn’t find induction contractions worse than natural. They just intensify more quickly so you don’t have the build up as naturally as spontaneous labour

I don't think it's helpful to talk about different pain thresholds because it encourages women to regard it as a personal failure if they don't manage to give birth on 2 paracetamol when the reality is it's very much just the luck of the draw.

If it feels bloody sore to you, that'll be because it is bloody sore. Position of the baby (and you), physical differences, intensity of contractions - it's different for everyone, during different labours and at different times in the same labour.

OP, don't panic - discuss it with your midwife, make a plan with options and then see where it goes on the day.

@violetcuriosity I was exactly the same for both my labours one of which was only last week! The midwife looking after me last week was amazed she said she’d never seen such close together intense contractions for someone at 2-3cm. Within an hour I was at 8cm then 30 mins later I was pushing. I think the hours of close contractions did all the hard work then once waters went things flew. Same for first birth 2cm same intense close together contractions waters went and straight to pushing within the hour!

It's pretty bad. However I had a tooth abscess this week and I'd pick giving birth over the pain of that in an instant if you gave me the choice!

It's so difficult to say because everybody is different and pain thresholds vary so much. I'd describe it as exceptional pain. However, it stops immediately the baby is out and the relief is immense. I had to have an epidural with my first baby as I was being prepped for a section (that didn't happen in the end) and that was wonderful. I chose active birth and minimal pain relief for baby 2 and it was fine. Much better that time round. You will be ok, you will get through it. People simply wouldn't have more than one child otherwise!

Four births for me (five babies). I was sh*t scared before all of them but was very lucky to have fast labours with little or no intervention (or pain relief).

I only had pain relief for the first (but could have managed without).

Only the second labour was unbearable (and lightning fast).

The third labour was so easy I was embarrassed 😂

Twins for the fourth labour. Fairly quick, natural, no pain relief.

I've had worse pain in me gob with a dry socket after wisdom tooth removal.

Would happily do them all again (except no 2).

Good luck!

Yes same here! That is horrific pain!

I can remember reading that women who had planned a very natural birth were most disappointed if they had to have interventions, epidural etc . I think you may want to keep an open mind on the pain relief.

I agree on the comments about toothache though !

For me, toothache has been worse.
didn’t need pain relief of any kind beyond tens and hot bath!

Ha! Several others in agreement about teeth!

Just pray you don't need a cesarean. Vaginal births the pain stops once baby's out. Cesarean birth affects you for ages after

That's not especially helpful. If she needs a section then she needs a section.

Sorry to say it was so horrendous I didn't have another one, but other people said it was like period pains!

Honestly - yes it hurts but not all the time as it comes and goes with contractions and our NCT classes had scared us to death that after it was over (8-9 hours) thst I looked at my husband and laughed and said 'at least it wasn't the 24 hours labor they kept telling us it would be!' And tbh as I was a week overdue I was really desperate to meet my baby and sort of excited to 'get it done' - everyone gets through it - even the lady that was screaming on the telly!

You can 'medicalise' it to keep pain to a minimum e.g. insist on an early epidural.

I went to all the NCT classes and felt utterly betrayed — the person who ran them put all the emphasis on contractions and deliberately never used the words labour pain or pains.
So I felt totally ignorant when my labour started to really hurt, I was actually very shocked by the amount of pain I felt. All the breathing exercises went out the window.
i think it’s better to know that it could be bad, even very bad, and hence be prepared.
For some women the pain may be the worst they have ever known or will experience.
For others it is more bearable. But even for those women births can vary hugely. I have a friend whose first two births were fairly easy, she didn’t see what all the fuss was about. But her third was much worse.
In short, take all the pain relief offered.

Smarts a bit I'm afraid

Just get an epidural.