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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Separated from my newborn. Feels actually painful

192 replies

doingitalllagain · 27/01/2023 02:20

I had my baby yesterday morning via c-section. He came out screaming and all was fine but then 10 minutes later he was taken to be checked very abruptly. I didn't see him again for 4 hours.

I finally got to see him and he was in an incubator. They said his obs were all fine but his breathing was a bit fast so they were going to transfer him to another hospital incase he had an infection. I was sat by him in a wheelchair but nearly fainted so they sent me back to my bed.

They came to get me an hour later saying he's being transferred in 5 minutes to a hospital an hour away, I got to go and have a quick cuddle before he was taken away and after hours of begging was allowed to do some skin to skin and he latched perfectly and had his first breastfeed. Then he was gone.

I couldn't go with him, stable mum not a priority for ambulance, can only go if I discharge myself against medical advice. I had to have a catheter put back in as I couldn't wee. Been told atleast another 24 hours until I can be discharged

The hospital my baby is in is over an hour away. They have said to my husband that baby is absolutely fine, which is brilliant, but makes it feel horrific he's been transferred for no reason. He's not receiving any different care of treatment at SCBU than he was here, it was a precaution but it turned out he didn't need to be transferred and it was most likely just some fluid on lungs. They can't transfer him back though. He's not ready to be discharged for another 48 hours due to antibiotics

I'm in physical pain. I've barely seen my newborn. Held him for just minutes of his life. One breast feed, I am aching for him. I don't know what to do. I can't wait 24-48 more hours.

OP posts:
Notjustabrunette · 27/01/2023 10:50

Are you using the hospital electric pump? If not, please ask for it.

Oblomov22 · 27/01/2023 10:53

Have your spoken to anyone this morning? Nurse? Sister of the ward? What are they saying?

HelpWithThisDress · 27/01/2023 11:10

@AnxietyLevelMax both the mother and the baby are receiving the correct medical care. It’s not nice for OP, but the hospital have been rightly cautious with the health of OP’s baby.

Original poster
doingitalllagain · 27/01/2023 11:47

The plan just kept changing and I kept being presented with reason after reason I couldn't go or delay after delay with the ambulance. They said if it wasn't for the catheter having to be reinserted I'd be discharged today, so I've had them take it out and I've discharged myself. I'm going to the hospital where my baby is now and if I don't wee within 6 hours I'm just going to present myself to the ward there. It's not ideal but I physically can't be away from him anymore

OP posts:
Cussons · 27/01/2023 11:51

Well done OP. Go be with your baby, take care.

Viviennemary · 27/01/2023 11:53

That sounds really grim. I agree with getting a taxi to the hospital where your baby is. Really poor management if there wasn't a medical reason for transferring him.

Faradalla · 27/01/2023 11:54

Op last year my baby was taken from me right after a c section due to fluid on her lungs. It was so awful being surrounded by mothers with their babies. I got my baby back the next day but the doctors told me not to bother pumping. Eventually, after a few days, I found out there was a pump in the hospital but by that stage, I was about to be discharged in an hour. My baby's latch was excruciating but everyone said it was normal. My milk got really messed around, didn't fully come in until the day I went home and I got no support at the hospital to breastfeed her. My supply really suffered so I had to top up with formula. FOUR WEEKS later I finally got help from a private lactation consultant who sorted me out, by 6 weeks I was exclusively breastfeeding and almost 1 year later still going strong! This really will feel like a distant memory, OP. Try to rest while you can and your baby will be with you soon x

SafferUpNorth · 27/01/2023 11:57

Good luck OP.... go be with your baby and take care of yourself. How about just presenting yourself to the maternity ward there anyway. Surely, once you're physically there, they will take care of your catheter etc.

It seems silly that it's had to come to you having to discharge yourself, instead of your care being transferred (with own transport). There surely must be a better way of doing things in the light of ambulances being so stretched?

Anyway, time to focus on your baby now. When youre recovered and settled at home, you can make a complaint.

Soakitup37 · 27/01/2023 11:58

Oh op, I don’t know if you’ll see this 7 pages in but I had a similar experience this past June. 3 days in incu and being in a bed in terrible pain myself it was torture.

I focused on getting my milk supply up, can the hospital lend you a medela fuel pump? I got a lot and stored it for him. I also got as much rest as the situation allowed, I ate and slept for 3 days pretty much. I was so upset, I couldn’t even have visitors and the pain was excruciating.

defo get as much support from staff as you can, begin your pp healing and you’ll be in better shape to see your baby asap.

its 7 months since I had my son and the memories of those few days have really faded - he’s a ball of energy and no long lasting effects.

please do get a hospital debrief of you feel it would be good to help you process everything, I had one and it really did ease my mind.

i hope your reunited asap!

Faradalla · 27/01/2023 11:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I don't think this is good advice though looks like it's it's what oP has done.

SnackSizeRaisin · 27/01/2023 12:13

FangedFrisbee · 27/01/2023 08:41

Yep this. They'd be saying the same thing if the baby was allowed to deteriorate.

Show quote history

Of course. Keeping mother and newborn apart for days is not ok. Letting the baby deteriorate is also not ok. It's not like you have to choose one bad outcome.
You are sounding very much like "stop moaning you have a healthy baby" which is misogynistic rubbish.

Sublimeursula · 27/01/2023 12:16

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

squirrelnutkins1 · 27/01/2023 12:18

You poor thing. Sending love x

Patineur · 27/01/2023 12:20

I hope you're with your baby now and the urination problem is sorted out.

FelinaTalons · 27/01/2023 12:27

I don’t think you can just ‘present’ yourself at the ward and expect them to slot you in. Well you can try but if it’s anything like my hospital they’ll have few free beds, if any, and there’ll be a carefully balanced list of women waiting for them

GoldenGoose90 · 27/01/2023 12:39

I’m so sorry you’re being treated this way and I hope you’ll be with your little one very soon!
I haven’t managed to read the other posts so apologies if this has already been suggested, but in regards to pumping milk (if it’s a concern which I think it is from your first few posts?) you can try pumping every 2-3 hours. Please don’t be disheartened if you aren’t able to get much, pumps rarely get as much milk as your baby will be able to during a feed. At this stage however your milk may not have come in so you may need to hand express colostrum. I work in infant feeding so please do message me if you’d like some advice.

Alondra · 27/01/2023 12:46

You've taken a risk but fully understand why you've done it.

The ward won't take you in. There is a hospital administration procedure before a bed is given to a patient. But you can always go to an A&E with your newborn and hopefully, they'll do something about it.

I'm even more hopeful, you will begin weeing without a problem. Most women with a c-section will wee on their own if there are no infections or other underlying issues.

2bazookas · 27/01/2023 13:30

I'm sorry. Hang on in there.

When DC1 was born we both nearly died; I saw him very briefly at birth then not at all for 48 hours. I'll never forget the fear and blank confusion of his first days. But it all came good in the end.

First rule of motherhood; the childs needs trump the mother's. We have to thole it. Your baby is in the best place getting the best care. You will be re-united, and when you are he'll need you to be calm, steady, ready.

Its very tough but what you have to do now is get your shit together.
Start with the basics. Have a shower, eat the food; drink plenty of water, rest, try to stay calm.

LemonSwan · 27/01/2023 14:07

So Pleased you are going to see your little one.

Odd thing with the weeping to try - something to try when sit on the loo and just relax, or do it in bed and just let it free into your tenas if your wearing them.

Try to shut every thought off. Don’t try to wee actively by pushing. Breath in through your nose and direct your breathe into your stomach do it balloons up. Release breath. Keep repeating over and over filling the stomach up and down.

This should release your pelvic floor and allow it to open passively.

It could just be bruising which needs time to heal but it could also be urine hesitancy from a too tight pelvic floor (I had it myself after c). This method fixes the urine hesitancy. Actively pushing the wee makes it worse as it causes the floor to tighten further and spasm shut and it gets worse and worse.

The above is also a really good method for the first post partum poo.

Hoping the rest of your journey is much smoother. Congratulations on your babe OP 🥰

Mylittlesandwich · 27/01/2023 14:13

I had to practically meditate to go for a wee post C-section. I knew DS was fine with DH so I sat in the loo for ages, breathing, thinking calm thoughts. Mindlessly scrolled my phone so I wasn't thinking much.

NotMyDayJob · 27/01/2023 15:19

I hope you're with your baby now OP and getting any medical help you need as well. Best thing for baby is you. Take care

mightymam · 28/01/2023 00:23

Wth, why are so many people encouraging the OP to discharge herself?! They've just cut through 7 layers of skin to get a baby out and need to monitor her to make sure her body is recovering as needed. Her baby needs an alive mother over a cuddle.

NotMyDayJob · 28/01/2023 02:29

Most women who have c sections are discharged very quickly, they don't really care about monitoring you like other major surgery

Daisylookslost · 28/01/2023 04:34

really hope everything’s worked out and you are with your baby OP. Congratulations on his birth

Guihgesfy5es · 28/01/2023 06:09

NotMyDayJob · 28/01/2023 02:29

Most women who have c sections are discharged very quickly, they don't really care about monitoring you like other major surgery

Why? Is that risky?

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