Should I buy my husband a 'push present'

[Mangotea]

I'm due with my first child in April and wanted to buy my husband a present as he will become a dad for the first time. I'm trying to think of a thoughtful and sentimental gift for him that he can use for many years to come. I'm struggling to come up with idea's..was thinking maybe something diy related as he does so much diy. Perhaps abs engraved tool pen.

On the other hand I don't know if he'll end up feeling a bit sheepish as I don't think a push present for me would even cross his mind. I think he might feel embarrassed that I've done all the labour and he gets a present whilst he didn't even think about getting me a present.

I don't expect a present because I know gifts just don't cross his mind, he's a very simple man. He has bought me lovely gifts for milestones in the past but he also forgets other big milestones. It's hit and miss. I defo won't be sad if I don't get a present and am not expecting one tbh.

Would I be undermining him by getting him a new father present when i know full well the thought of getting me a new mother present hasn't crossed his mind?

You’re giving him a baby. That’s very sentimental and will be with him for many years.

Wtf is a push present?

The present is the baby...?

But he’ll be getting a baby?
I didn’t do this for DH and he certainly didn’t for me, second time around was a bit different because baby was born shortly after his birthday…so for his birthday I bought him comfy clothes for the hospital, lesson learnt after first time around where he had to wear the same jeans and shirt for days because neither of us anticipated a need for comfy clothes 😂 so that would be my only recommendation if you’re really set on it, otherwise I think you’ll have enough on your mind and I’m sure he’s just excited to meet his baby 😊

Never heard of this before, just seems very weird (I’m assuming it’s an American tradition?)

Get him an engraved Leatherman for Father's Day.

Apologies if you are not in the UK, but assuming that you are in the UK I don't think that Push Presents are yet so established a thing here to give a new mother without anyone needing to think about a present for the new father!!

Especially for a new Dad who probably isn't even thinking of a present for the mother.

I am not sure at the point that a new father needs to step up and realise that he isn't the centre of everything and actually needs to consider centring other people is the time that I would be wanting to give a present in the circumstances you describe

Best wishes OP

He’s not going to be doing the pushing….
Of course you can get him a present OP. Don’t call it a push present though. He’s not the one giving birth. Call it a new dad present or something.

If you think he'll be embarrassed then wait until Father's Day. First Father's Day is pretty meaningful (also you have the benefit of Mother's Day being first so you know what he got you!).

You’re already giving him something he can use and enjoy for many years to come. My son is 11 and he can make me a cup of tea and everything.

This just sounds like more unnecessary pressure. It feels like everything at the moment has to be a huge big thing. Mums at my kids school made special St Patrick’s day lunches, spending extra money and effort to make green clover leaf sandwiches, lucky charm snacks etc. Valentine’s Day was ridiculous. It just all seems really over the top. You’re already having a baby, an extra gift isn’t needed.

DH and I both didn't consider any kind of present for baby #1. I think it's overkill and might make him feel bad. There doesn't seem any connection between becoming a father and having a nice lifelong item. Unless it was something related to being a father like a bottle of alcohol to open on the child's 21st or an engraved photo frame for a Dad-baby photo.

I'd save the present for the first Father's Day.

On the other hand I don't know if he'll end up feeling a bit sheepish as I don't think a push present for me would even cross his mind. I think he might feel embarrassed that I've done all the labour and he gets a present whilst he didn't even think about getting me a present.

Also, if you’re already thinking of it in these terms ‘I do the labour and he gets a present’ then why bother? You already know it will make him uncomfortable and make him look bad and you’ll likely be resentful that you’ve not got anything.

I agree with the others. Do a Father's Day present. You can give him a gift this year even if the babyis coming after Father's Day as a father to be gift.

@Kanaloa I can’t wait for DD to be able to make tea! DH and I are living for the day that she will be able to do the dishwasher 😂

What?? I've honestly never heard of this and wouldn't bother with it.

Far simpler to wait for Father's Day if you must buy any sort of present.

@Mrstwiddle

Never heard of this before, just seems very weird (I’m assuming it’s an American tradition?)

Nope.

I have NEVER heard of a "push present".
I've literally just asked my pregnant friend (we are American and live in the US) and she asked her pregnant friend and neither have heard of it either.

However, I've only seen it on MN so that's on you all!

@Mrstwiddle

Never heard of this before, just seems very weird (I’m assuming it’s an American tradition?)

Not at all my dad bought my mum jewellery when I was born and that definitely wasn't yesterday 😄

I gave my a 'present' after our 2nd he had birthday sex that turned into his father's Day present,who'd have thought after years of infertility it really does just take one time to get pregnant 🤣

HATE the term push present!!

What do you call it if you have a caesarean? Just curious.

Agree with others. A baby and a Fathers Day present is plenty.

[quote Fernsinthegarden]@Kanaloa I can’t wait for DD to be able to make tea! DH and I are living for the day that she will be able to do the dishwasher 😂[/quote]
😂

He just uses it as an excuse to get the biscuits out to be honest! But yeah it is nice to have a cup of tea I didn’t have to make.

WTAF

Are you mad

I bought my dh a Mars Bar from the hospital vending machine, that is about right I reckon!

For my second baby, I did also prepare my dh his own hospital bag, as he neglected himself the first time (36 hour labour in hospital and he didn’t eat a lot, hence the Mars Bar). A backpack with a deodorant, a face flannel, healthy snacks and sugary snacks, a few cans of redbull etc), change of T-shirt, toothbrush and toothpaste. I think he appreciated that I was thinking of his welfare as well as my own.

Sorry, what is he going to be pushing out of his bits, now?

Save it for Fathers Day....