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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Should I buy my husband a 'push present'

142 replies

Mangotea · 21/03/2022 00:41

I'm due with my first child in April and wanted to buy my husband a present as he will become a dad for the first time. I'm trying to think of a thoughtful and sentimental gift for him that he can use for many years to come. I'm struggling to come up with idea's..was thinking maybe something diy related as he does so much diy. Perhaps abs engraved tool pen.

On the other hand I don't know if he'll end up feeling a bit sheepish as I don't think a push present for me would even cross his mind. I think he might feel embarrassed that I've done all the labour and he gets a present whilst he didn't even think about getting me a present.

I don't expect a present because I know gifts just don't cross his mind, he's a very simple man. He has bought me lovely gifts for milestones in the past but he also forgets other big milestones. It's hit and miss. I defo won't be sad if I don't get a present and am not expecting one tbh.

Would I be undermining him by getting him a new father present when i know full well the thought of getting me a new mother present hasn't crossed his mind?

OP posts:
20viona · 21/03/2022 08:47

Christ no you'll be doing all the graft.

SleepingStandingUp · 21/03/2022 08:48

Don't get him a present for having got you pregnant.

Wait until baby is here and then use Father's Day, Christmas, Birthdays to get something from baby depending on his actual job performance. A fancy engraved work pen if he's great, a mallet from pound land if he's not

Spudina · 21/03/2022 08:48

No. Two children later and no push present for me, the one who did the actual pushing. Fuck that.

GreenLunchBox · 21/03/2022 08:50

@TyneTeas

Apologies if you are not in the UK, but assuming that you are in the UK I don't think that Push Presents are yet so established a thing here to give a new mother without anyone needing to think about a present for the new father!!

Especially for a new Dad who probably isn't even thinking of a present for the mother.

I am not sure at the point that a new father needs to step up and realise that he isn't the centre of everything and actually needs to consider centring other people is the time that I would be wanting to give a present in the circumstances you describe

Best wishes OPFlowers

Oh my God, please don't let this come over here (though everything does seem to 🙄) I still can't get my head around baby showers and 'gender' reveals.
GreenLunchBox · 21/03/2022 08:52

@4FoxxSake

Baby is a brilliant push present, home-made.

I had my first just before my husbands birthday, so popped a bow on the baby and handed them over 🤣 I didn't get him an actual birthday present )or a push present), I was too knackered.

I agree they become more useful as they age mine make me hot drinks, can cook dinner, gift that keeps on giving.

Then they become less useful again as they become older teens. It's like a cycle 🤣
musicviking1 · 21/03/2022 08:54

Nah, the baby is enough Grin

LynetteScavo · 21/03/2022 08:59

No, he can't have a push present because he hasn't grown a baby or pushed it out of his vagina, or been cut open to have a c-section. A push present (for want of a better term) is usually a nice piece of jewellery to thank the mother for doing all the hard work in producing a baby.

You can give him a sperm present, I suppose, to thank him for giving you his sperm.

Or you could just celebrate Fathers Day as others have suggested.

babywalker56 · 21/03/2022 08:59

Push presents are usually what the man buys the woman as she's the one who's pushed the baby out....

Buying a man a push present literally doesn't make any sense at all😂 either he gets you something and if he doesn't then he doesn't. You can ofc get him a gift for being a new dad as pp have said but just don't call it a push present. Or just wait until his first father's day🤷‍♀️

Borracha · 21/03/2022 09:00

Going to go against the grain here and say my DH has bought me gifts after all 3 of our children were born (a necklace, a ring and a bangle)

And I’ve given him a pair of cufflinks after each baby as well, which he wears for work, weddings etc.

I see it as a nice thing to keep to commemorate a really special occasion. Similarly, he bought me earrings to wear on our wedding day and I bought him a watch. I think it’s a lovely idea.

Flickflak · 21/03/2022 09:05

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

MargotsGreenBean · 21/03/2022 09:13

@Borracha

Going to go against the grain here and say my DH has bought me gifts after all 3 of our children were born (a necklace, a ring and a bangle)

And I’ve given him a pair of cufflinks after each baby as well, which he wears for work, weddings etc.

I see it as a nice thing to keep to commemorate a really special occasion. Similarly, he bought me earrings to wear on our wedding day and I bought him a watch. I think it’s a lovely idea.

This is lovely but I think it would be completely different if you'd given him the cufflinks and he gave you nothing!
MargaritasOnMe · 21/03/2022 09:15

Men don't get push presents!!! He isn't pushing out a whole new human that he's been growing for the past 9 months! Why not just wait for fathers' Day and buy him a nice gift then to celebrate being a new dad?

Barkingmadhouse · 21/03/2022 09:18

Where did you come across this nonsense?

RedRobin100 · 21/03/2022 09:18

Is he pushing?

Wait for first Fathers Day in June

caecilius1 · 21/03/2022 09:31

I am not sure at the point that a new father needs to step up and realise that he isn't the centre of everything and actually needs to consider centring other people is the time that I would be wanting to give a present in the circumstances you describe*

^
Fully agree with this.

SpilltheTea · 21/03/2022 09:34

I've never heard of this and it sounds ridiculous. He's not even pushing for starters. He literally has nothing to do. Is that not a gift enough?

welshpolarbear · 21/03/2022 10:26

Heard it all now!

A push present sounds ridiculous, even more so for the father who isn't even pushing!

Marynotsocontrary · 21/03/2022 11:00

Arranging to give each other presents could work if you want to do this, though there's no need.

You giving him a present but not getting one in return doesn't sound great (I'd just end up feeling guilty in his shoes).

Justkeeppedaling · 21/03/2022 11:03

Should I buy my husband a 'push present'?

NO.

Floydthebarber · 21/03/2022 11:08

Dh got me two Greggs bakes after dd2. That was pretty good.

If you want sentimental gifts (and I get that some people enjoy them just the same as I don't) then Mother's and Father's day are perfect for things like that. The birth of a child really is its own gift really.

IsFuzzyBeagMise · 21/03/2022 11:11

@RedRobin100

Is he pushing?

Wait for first Fathers Day in June

I agree.

Buy something nice for yourself. You will deserve it :) best wishes!

riotlady · 21/03/2022 11:13

@Floydthebarber

Dh got me two Greggs bakes after dd2. That was pretty good.

If you want sentimental gifts (and I get that some people enjoy them just the same as I don't) then Mother's and Father's day are perfect for things like that. The birth of a child really is its own gift really.

I’m jealous, all I got was some lactulose Grin
user1471595474 · 21/03/2022 11:14

So not a ‘push present’ but my husband’s birthday was a week before our first child was due. I bought him a really soft dressing gown to wear when he got up in the middle of the night. He loved it!

EarringsandLipstick · 21/03/2022 11:23

@AnneLovesGilbert

You’re giving him a baby. That’s very sentimental and will be with him for many years.
😂😂😂

Brilliant.

cherryonthecakes · 21/03/2022 11:30

Just wait for Father's Day (June)