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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Should I buy my husband a 'push present'

142 replies

Mangotea · 21/03/2022 00:41

I'm due with my first child in April and wanted to buy my husband a present as he will become a dad for the first time. I'm trying to think of a thoughtful and sentimental gift for him that he can use for many years to come. I'm struggling to come up with idea's..was thinking maybe something diy related as he does so much diy. Perhaps abs engraved tool pen.

On the other hand I don't know if he'll end up feeling a bit sheepish as I don't think a push present for me would even cross his mind. I think he might feel embarrassed that I've done all the labour and he gets a present whilst he didn't even think about getting me a present.

I don't expect a present because I know gifts just don't cross his mind, he's a very simple man. He has bought me lovely gifts for milestones in the past but he also forgets other big milestones. It's hit and miss. I defo won't be sad if I don't get a present and am not expecting one tbh.

Would I be undermining him by getting him a new father present when i know full well the thought of getting me a new mother present hasn't crossed his mind?

OP posts:

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 21/03/2022 07:15

Never heard of 'push present' but I assume if you have a C-section then it's a 'lift gift'?

4FoxxSake · 21/03/2022 07:20

Baby is a brilliant push present, home-made.

I had my first just before my husbands birthday, so popped a bow on the baby and handed them over 🤣 I didn't get him an actual birthday present )or a push present), I was too knackered.

I agree they become more useful as they age mine make me hot drinks, can cook dinner, gift that keeps on giving.

ClenchYourButtocks · 21/03/2022 07:20

@CustardyCreams

I bought my dh a Mars Bar from the hospital vending machine, that is about right I reckon!

For my second baby, I did also prepare my dh his own hospital bag, as he neglected himself the first time (36 hour labour in hospital and he didn’t eat a lot, hence the Mars Bar). A backpack with a deodorant, a face flannel, healthy snacks and sugary snacks, a few cans of redbull etc), change of T-shirt, toothbrush and toothpaste. I think he appreciated that I was thinking of his welfare as well as my own.

Why couldn't your DH sort his own hospital bag out? I've heard it all now. 🙄

isthismylifenow · 21/03/2022 07:21

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

Never heard of 'push present' but I assume if you have a C-section then it's a 'lift gift'?

😂

QuiltedHippo · 21/03/2022 07:25

We could barely keep on top of the baby presents we received, too tired and overwhelmed and busy. I did write DH a nice card when he went back to work as he took a longish pat leave and was a bit down about missing the baby. But something else might feel a bit forced, its not like Christmas morning when theres a designated gift giving moment. You know him best though, though it sounds like he's not a huge gifty person

Trixiefirecracker · 21/03/2022 07:32

@Nelliephant1 your Dad bought your mum a present because she was giving birth, not the other way round!

Trixiefirecracker · 21/03/2022 07:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

dworky · 21/03/2022 07:38

Is this a joke?

EthelTheAardvark · 21/03/2022 07:42

He doesn't need a memento for his child's birth, he will have the child.

Seriously, you acknowledge that all this will achieve is to make your husband feel uncomfortable. Don't do it, you have enough on your plate.

MsItchy · 21/03/2022 07:52

My SIL was dropping huge hints (in front of everyone) for a "push present" from my DB. All her friends got designer bags from their OHs when they had babies, apparently. He didn't get her one though, good for him, I think it's gross and ridiculous (also she had a c section).

MargotsGreenBean · 21/03/2022 07:53

OP, if underlying all this is the fact that actually you would like him to buy you a present, just tell him that really clearly. Lots of people have no idea that it’s even a thing so there’s a good chance that it won’t cross his mind. And don’t just hint it, say it as clearly as you can.

k1233 · 21/03/2022 08:09

No going to comment on the appropriateness or not of a push present, but something he may like is an cordless screwdriver. My dad gave me one and I never thought I'd use it but I use it all the time. It was one if the few presents he bought himself and now he has dementia it's a reminder of when we used to build stuff together. Your DH will be able to do lots of kid related assembly with one.

Scandisaurus22 · 21/03/2022 08:09

@AnneLovesGilbert

You’re giving him a baby. That’s very sentimental and will be with him for many years.

This 😂

TigerLilyTail · 21/03/2022 08:21

Do you have anxiety, OP?

It's such a strange thing to consider buying your husband a present when you're the one going through childbirth. I can't help but wonder why you would think this was necessary.

I have a friend who really excessively buys presents. For example, she bought the nurse a box of chocolates to apologise for her child crying when he had his vaccinations. I don't think it's normal behavior and I worry that it's a manifestation of anxiety or maybe you don't feel that your husband really sees or gets you or something.

I just find the whole thing odd.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 21/03/2022 08:22

Gosh I gave birth on DH's birthday and he didn't even get a present then 😂

grapewines · 21/03/2022 08:25

This is very odd.

Moodycow78 · 21/03/2022 08:26

I'd have thought you've given him present enough, aren't push presents for the people that do the pushing 🙄 I think my DH would have found it odd if I'd bought him a gift.

firstimemamma · 21/03/2022 08:33

He can clean up the baby's first poo op.

Tombero · 21/03/2022 08:37

I think the reason you’re struggling to think of something is because it’s not a thing.

My DH sent me flowers after DC were born. I’d dropped a lot of hints in the build up.

My DC2 bought DC1 some presents to help DC1 accept DC2. 11 years later, not sure that really worked.

Summerfun54321 · 21/03/2022 08:40

Save your energy for the first Father’s Day if he actually turns out to be a decent dad. There’s no way you’re going to want to hand over a thoughtful present to him when you’re lying in bed wondering what the fuck just happened all stitched up and sore and now in charge of keeping a tiny human being alive.

Tombero · 21/03/2022 08:40

@teaandtoastwithmarmite

Gosh I gave birth on DH's birthday and he didn't even get a present then 😂

Yes he did - a baby! How can you ever top that though in future years

Cocobeau · 21/03/2022 08:42

This gives me the same thought as when I see people buying gifts for each other on their wedding day. Aside from the fact I think it's a pointless waste of money, you say you want something special and sentimental but if you have to ask strangers on the internet for suggestions then it's never going to be that thoughtful.

I don't mean that to sound as harsh as it might, but unless something springs to mind that you think would be really special, it feels a bit pointless to me.

Sweetener12 · 21/03/2022 08:43

Never heard of push presents A Father's day present would be enough

SprayedWithDettol · 21/03/2022 08:45

This infantilising of adults is ridiculous. He is becoming a father, what more does he need? Jesus.

stripeyflowers · 21/03/2022 08:46

God it's ever increasing - in a world where we're supposed to be cutting down on consumerism, yet another made-up, ridiculous societal custom to turn a nothing into a something.

He's going to be a dad - what's more wonderful than that? And as for the pushing - isn't that on you?

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