Should I buy my husband a 'push present'

[Mangotea]

I'm due with my first child in April and wanted to buy my husband a present as he will become a dad for the first time. I'm trying to think of a thoughtful and sentimental gift for him that he can use for many years to come. I'm struggling to come up with idea's..was thinking maybe something diy related as he does so much diy. Perhaps abs engraved tool pen.

On the other hand I don't know if he'll end up feeling a bit sheepish as I don't think a push present for me would even cross his mind. I think he might feel embarrassed that I've done all the labour and he gets a present whilst he didn't even think about getting me a present.

I don't expect a present because I know gifts just don't cross his mind, he's a very simple man. He has bought me lovely gifts for milestones in the past but he also forgets other big milestones. It's hit and miss. I defo won't be sad if I don't get a present and am not expecting one tbh.

Would I be undermining him by getting him a new father present when i know full well the thought of getting me a new mother present hasn't crossed his mind?

@Kanaloa

You’re already giving him something he can use and enjoy for many years to come. My son is 11 and he can make me a cup of tea and everything.

This just sounds like more unnecessary pressure. It feels like everything at the moment has to be a huge big thing. Mums at my kids school made special St Patrick’s day lunches, spending extra money and effort to make green clover leaf sandwiches, lucky charm snacks etc. Valentine’s Day was ridiculous. It just all seems really over the top. You’re already having a baby, an extra gift isn’t needed.

Haha he's not a tea drinker but I look forward to the cups of tea my son will hopefully make me 🤣

I agree, there's a lot of pressure to celebrate occasions but we don't partake in Valentine's Day etc. We only do our birthdays (we just tell each other what we want and it always reasonably priced gifts) and our wedding anniversary which we do splurge on.

So although unnecessary I just thought it might be nice idea. I think my husband would have the same view as you and say baby is more than enough.

I think I used the wrong term 'push present', it's more of a becoming a father for the first time present. He'd been wanting to try for a child for a while but I wanted to wait (we waited) so although we're both excited he's a little more than me.

To be honest he's not the selfish kind, throughout my pregnancy he's been great. Comes to as many appointments as possible, drives me anywhere I need to go and even ties my laces for me even though I perfectly capable of doing both! Before I was pregnant he treated me well too. He does his part in terms of household chores, he does the job I hate the most - laundry.

We don't celebrate occasions like Christmas, Easter, Valentine's Day. Only our anniversary and birthdays. As his birthday is also in April we won't be able to celebrate this year.

So I thought maybe a gift for becoming a new father would be nice gesture. I know he'll continue to be an amazing supportive husband so it's more me wanting to show I appreciate and love you for all your attentiveness and love as I like expressing myself through gifts.

I'm not expecting a gift in return and most definitely won't be sad or resentful if I don't receive one. If I get him a present I'd give it to him after we come home from the hospital, I'd get it ready now and give it to him later when we're settled.

Given all the information above, would you say it's still best to wait till Father's Day? After reading all the comments I'm almost convinced that I should wait.

I do think it's best to wait until Father's Day.

But if you feel that you'd really like to give him something to mark the special occasion of the day you both became parents (aka your child's birthday) and your concern is that he'll feel embarrassed if he hasn't anything to give you because he didn't think of it as a day to exchange gifts (like most people wouldn't), then just tell him that. No pressure to do the same himself (unless you actually will feel let down if he doesn't bother) but you didn't want your own gesture to be spoiled by him feeling awkwardly surprised.

Be mindful that you set a high bar if you are gifting him now. It sets of a chain of future expectations.

Personally, I'd mark Father's Day with a special/sentimental gift rather than make him feel silly he didn't get you a present.

Definitely wait til father's Day. If you want to mark the birth do it for both of you - a keepsake ornament or something.

Yet another marketing opportunity for shops.

About as horrid as Christmas Eve boxes.

Don't do it OP!

A what?

You’re a gullible advertiser’s dream. Sponsored by Hallmark.

I think childbirth can be really overwhelming for both parents, especially the first time. I know quite a few men who really struggled to process what they saw their partners go through. It may feel somewhat crass to him to get a present after seeing everything you go through.

I think a Father's Day present is much more appropriate.

I think maybe you are just restless waiting for the baby to come.

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy as I mentioned in all the other comments we don't celebrate any other occasions except anniversary and each other's birthday. Two presents a year is a very reasonable number for our relationship.

@Zonder thank you for the advice! If I decide to get something I'll do this. Something sentimental for us both is a great idea.

Not RTFT
Currently 34 weeks with twins, anticipating to give birth any time in the next few weeks.
Just bought DH a new hoover as I'll be busy establishing breastfeeding, does that count

The baby is the gift

If his birthday is in April too get him a gift 'from baby'. If baby's born after his birthday, don't give him that gift until afterwards but frame it as a birthday present from baby, not a 'congrats on being a dad' gift.

If his birthday is in April and that's what you normally celebrate why not just do that as usual? While having a baby is huge the rest of your life doesn't stop. Get him a birthday present and forget about this 'push present' nonsense.

What is this nonsense about buying presents for becoming a father.

He's getting a child. Stop being silly now. He gets gift on fathers day.

I think I would buy myself something nice and glamorous instead, like a nice bag or a new jacket afterwards. I felt like I looked crap after I had a baby. Somehow it does your confidence in.

Also you will have stacks of things to get with a new baby and you might be surprised how it's an ongoing investment.

[quote Mangotea]@Zonder thank you for the advice! If I decide to get something I'll do this. Something sentimental for us both is a great idea.[/quote]
If you do this I'd advise getting something unbreakable!

I had an ornament that I associated with one of my pregnancies - when it unfortunately broke I was hugely upset and almost took it as an omen And I'm down-to-earth and sensible most of the time, I promise!