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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Dignity during labour

281 replies

Ashchall95 · 27/01/2022 12:28

Hi everyone FTM here....

Due in the next 4 weeks,

I did a post a few days ago about not wanting to be naked during labour etc and everyone was saying how you don't need to be but also so many people saying that you loose all dignity and won't know anyway is that because the pain is so unbearable you forget where you are and you don't even realise what's going on? Or isit just through choice in the moment that you start stripping off and your fully aware of what your doing? I hope it makes sense but just trying to get an understanding of how bad it's going to be, I can't ever imagine me being in a position that I would be that out of control that I would be willing to strip naked in a situation like that, I'm definitely over thinking things as the times getting closer but would like to hear your opinions l, please be kind 😬

OP posts:
OddSocksSparklyDocsandDungaree · 27/01/2022 15:33

I planned and had a water birth. I took vests, baggy t shirts as I didnt want to be naked but trust me, as soon as that pool was run, I stripped everything off and didnt care who saw what Smile

Hightemp · 27/01/2022 15:34

OP I really understand your concern. I would just make it very clear to birth partner to ensure that you are covered up as much as possible. Just a light sheet would work.Good luck and really try not to worry 💐

Silene · 27/01/2022 15:39

It's a bit sad to read all these stories of such traumatic births. everyone is different but when I was a day or two off my first, a lovely mother of six came to talk to me. That's a lovely bump you have, she said. Don't worry, it's all. worth while, and you'll be starving and needing your breakfast! I've had four, and had a short nightie. The last one was so quick, just as the sun was rising, my husband had lit the bedroom fire, MIL came, and carried the baby upstairs to show the other three. Wonderful and unforgettable. Not all births are horrendous, there are ways to alleviate pain, and if all goes well you have the best gift in the world.

blyn72 · 27/01/2022 15:41

Of course you will know what is going on and it is absolutely your choice whether or not to strip off. Wear something loose made of thin cotton, you'll be fine. Not everyone has unbearable pain for very long, don't talk yourself into it in advance and don't go into hospital until you have to. I went in when my waters broke at home and my baby was born two hours later.

I wish you an easy labour.

AgathaAllAlong · 27/01/2022 15:43

I think there's two different points to untangle here, the being naked and the losing your dignity. Why do you think those go together? I have birth naked because it was more comfortable. I don't see it as me losing my dignity any more than I would think that being naked during a heart operation means losing my dignity. I was giving birth, with midwife and DP present, and felt that being naked was entitled appropriate and as "dignified" as being dressed would have been.

The second point is that you don't think you would want to be naked. Ok, you don't have to be. Obviously if it's a vaginal birth you'll need underwear off, but you could wear a nightie or t shirt if you like. I guess I really wouldn't worry about it. If you want to take it off in the moment, do that and think of it like a medical procedure, no loss of dignity. You're having a baby, not parading down the high street drunk on a Saturday night. If you don't want to take your clothea off, then don't - nobody is going to force you (unless obviously for medical reasons).

CallMeK · 27/01/2022 15:45

When you are giving birth you realize that nothing is about you, it's all about the baby now. All you will care about is getting the baby out quickly and safely and you honestly won't be caring what you are wearing/being naked/etc.

Mamabear2020 · 27/01/2022 15:45

I hated the idea of being naked, and wasn't at any point during 2 labours, but I will say that I also hated having anything touching me during the second labour (so much that I told my poor DH to 'get the fuck off me when he tried to rub my back!) Including the feel of my clothing against my skin. If there had been time I would probably have ended up naked because it was making my skin crawl just having anything against it. Fortunately baby #2 was in a rush and I didnt have much more time to think about it!

4FoxxSake · 27/01/2022 15:45

Honestly you won't care. You won't even think about it. You'll do what feels right for you.

CaptainMyCaptain · 27/01/2022 15:48

I don't think it's so much a question of losing your dignity as focussing on what is important i.e. being as comfortable as you can (lying/ squatting, clothes/no clothes) and, obviously, the safe delivery of your baby. Honestly, you won't care about dignity.

Mamaof3sm · 27/01/2022 15:52

Labour is primal, you’re not aware because your mind and body are just taking over and doing what it has to do that’s why you’re not overtly aware. Because the pain is internal anything external feels overwhelming and thats usually why you just want to be naked- it simplifies things, keeps you cool because you’ll likely burn up (they call it labour for a reason) and eases things for medical attention.

Alcemeg · 27/01/2022 15:54

I don't blame you for feeling nervous, OP. Hopefully you've had some reassurance here, hope it all goes well. You could always invest in some kind of modesty-preserving garment!

Dignity during labour
BitcherOfBlakiven · 27/01/2022 15:54

I was naked all 3 times, because I have major sensory issues and simply could not tolerate even a t shirt on during labour. My labours were all less than 2 hours and very intense, I don’t think I’d have been naked from the start IF my contractions had been the “small light waves” people kept telling me they would be

Xmasbaby11 · 27/01/2022 15:55

The thing about the birth is that it's unpredictable and you don't know what choices you will actually have. I only had a vague plan but it didn't happen whatsoever.

Plan A - water birth - real life - didn't happen, can't even remember why, maybe the pool wasn't free!
Plan B- tens and paracetamol for pain relief - real life - neither touched the sides
Plan C - morphine for pain relief - real life - make me sick as a dog
Plan D - gas and air - real life - just dehydrated me and didn't really help

I did keep a gown on, would not have wanted to be naked despite all that going on. However I was being sick and later had my ankles in stirrups so it wasn't dignified in the slightest.

Eventually had epidural (which I wasn't against, just didn't know if I'd need it) by by then I was so tired from 24h labour that I kept falling asleep between contractions. Eventually had forceps delivery which was all very fast with lots of people in the room.

Equally, I know lots of friends who planned their births and were able to follow their plan. Basically, you will respond to the choices at the time, and you will only be naked if you want to be at the time. Try not to worry about it. I hope you have a good birth experience and that you feel looked after and respected.

KobaniDaughters · 27/01/2022 15:56

I ended up stripping both times - I think it was less about the pain and more an instinct in the moment. It didn’t feel undignified though if that’s what your worry is - I am one of those annoying hippy homebirthers who felt totally empowered by giving birth

Both times I started in a big baggy t shirt but towards second stage I just didn’t want anything on me at all and the midwives of course didn’t bat an eyelid

ladyflower23 · 27/01/2022 16:01

Hi OP. I was like you e.g. very worried about loss of divinity. I'm a very controlled person. But I really did not care about who saw what when I was in full on labour. I even shat in front of evryone, which was my biggest fest beforehand, and didn't even care about that. Its partly down to the pain, but it's also because your brain goes into a different zone and you just go very inward and focused on your body getting the baby out. It sounds horrific when you're pregnant and about to go through it, but it's like you're not really you when you're going through it and so your usual standards don't apply. Hard to explain but what I'm saying is, all of that stuff won't seem like a big deal if it does happen Smile

ladyflower23 · 27/01/2022 16:02

Loss of dignity not divinity 🤣 I never had that in the first place!

IMissSunnyDays · 27/01/2022 16:11

I thought I'd be bothered but then once there and in labour I really couldn't have cared less who saw me. I wasn't completely naked the first time, I ended up in just a bra and the same the second time. I do remember being on all fours with my first and the midwife trying to cover my bum with a blanket and i kept kicking it off as i was hot.

Third I tried to have a pool birth so was just in a bra again (my husband got my bikini top out for me but I couldn't manage to get it on!). I ended up having to get out as the baby was stuck. I got out in just my bra and they dried me and took it off and put a hospital gown on to take me to theatre. At no point was I completely uncovered really, although I was in so much pain I don't think I cared. It is the only situation I've been in where I literally didn't care who saw what, a normal midwife appointment I used to feel a bit unfortable when they pulled my pants down to measure over my knickers (they'd ask first), so I'm not the run around, get naked and not care type generally.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 27/01/2022 16:12

If you don't want to be naked, you won't be, because you have control over it, but shitting yourself during labour is out of your control, so that's when your dignity goes!

Bettyboopawoop · 27/01/2022 16:16

The window cleaner was cleaning the windows when my legs were splayed in stirrups I diddnt give a toss!

Timeturnerplease · 27/01/2022 16:17

I couldn’t bear being naked in front of others either time, so I deliberately brought in a light t shirt to wear. Hated feeling out of control with pain so asked for an epidural each time.

Everyone is different.

Nervousmum98626 · 27/01/2022 16:18

My labour went on a long time! I was completely of the opinion I would be very self conscious - I’m over weight and always had body issues.

I never felt the urge to be naked as others seem to have - in fact I refused to put on the hospital gown and opted for a nightdress I had bought specifically with buttons all down the front so it wouldn’t impact any wires etc if it became necessary and told the midwife they could happily cut it off if it was needed (for a section etc.) and she was super understanding.

In the end I actually have no idea how many people were in that room or how much of my body was on show and in that exact moment I didn’t care but in the couple of days before when I was in hospital and slow labour I did And having those nighties that saved my dignity did help me a lot to feel more comfortable so I would say have an open mind and do what feels right but prepare for things that you think now will make you more comfortable.

Good luck!

Mrstamborineman · 27/01/2022 16:18

Hand your dignity to the midwife on arrival and collect it on your way out. Sorry to be blunt but you won’t care, you’ll be busy. It’s not called labour for nothing.

Gardeningtipsneeded · 27/01/2022 16:21

Personal experience….. yes I was naked and I didn’t care, both my labours were very manageable and (dare I say it) enjoyable, so it wasn’t that the pain was so bad as such….. for me it was very intense work and I went inside myself. I was aware of what was happening, knew I was naked, but I didn’t care. I lost the self consciousness I normally have, I was fully concentrating my focus internally. I could have stopped and put my clothes on if I wanted, I would have been fully capable of that. I was in the water for one and fucking hot for the other so was happy to be naked both times.

Professional experience….. most women do seem to lose that self consciousness that we normally have and are just naked and owning it during labour….. it’s a very powerful experience but very visceral and raw also and you stand in your power sometimes and just stop giving a shit.

For other women I can see that hesitation and self consciousness remain so will make sure they are covered up as much as is comfortable, towel over their behind when they on all fours etc. Often women never get naked, it depends on how the Labour goes. Bring something long and loose with you to wear as at points you won’t be able to wear bottoms but you may still want to be mobile.

CrazyCatLover · 27/01/2022 16:22

As long as you leave hospital with a nice healthy baby, who cares what happens 🤣 the midwives have seen it all before and honestly won’t care .

bluesky45 · 27/01/2022 16:22

I wasn't naked for either of mine. It's an odd one though. I was wearing my pjs and obviously took my bottoms off so they could do examinations etc. I think I was covered with a sheet but I'm not super clear on the details anymore. And then after birth, my top came down to feed and obviously it's tricky to feed at first. So the midwife see's your bottom half when giving birth and then see's your top half after. So you may as well be naked coz they see it all anyway!