Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Flip

1 2 ··· 7 8 9 10 11 12

Original poster

Dignity during labour

281 replies

Ashchall95 · 27/01/2022 12:28

Hi everyone FTM here....

Due in the next 4 weeks,

I did a post a few days ago about not wanting to be naked during labour etc and everyone was saying how you don't need to be but also so many people saying that you loose all dignity and won't know anyway is that because the pain is so unbearable you forget where you are and you don't even realise what's going on? Or isit just through choice in the moment that you start stripping off and your fully aware of what your doing? I hope it makes sense but just trying to get an understanding of how bad it's going to be, I can't ever imagine me being in a position that I would be that out of control that I would be willing to strip naked in a situation like that, I'm definitely over thinking things as the times getting closer but would like to hear your opinions l, please be kind 😬

OP posts:

Sassenach85 · 27/01/2022 15:03

Really no point fobbing you off. Or making it sound ok. My natural Childbirth was hell. I actually wish I’d been told prior. I just ended up with a complex about being a wuss and thinking I was weak!

I think most people find it extremely painful. Torturous even. But even after my trauma I ended up with a second baby - c section though!!

Redhotspicywine · 27/01/2022 15:04

You don’t lose your dignity giving birth, naked or not.

Please find a positive birth story group and start reading positive stories/ watch positive birth videos.

Your mindset is so important in birth, please focus on positive preparation not obsessing over ‘dignity’

miltonj · 27/01/2022 15:12

You won't loose your dignity. Giving birth is literally the most incredible thing a human can do, nothing undignified about it!

If you don't want to take your top half off, there is no reason I can think of that you would. For skin to skin, just make sure you're wearing something button down like a big shirt or nighty.

Catsstillrock · 27/01/2022 15:13

Op, if it reassures you, make it a specific task of whoever will be there to support you to ensure you’re suitably covered.

Sometimes it can be that you need to take something off (or yes, you choose to). And generally midwives are very good at covering you / offering you a gown.

But just to make sure ask your birth partner to keep an eye on this for you. And yes pack some long loose tops and something like a sarong and make sure they know where they are

Knockoneofftheshelftowin · 27/01/2022 15:16

Do you know you might poo yourself as well

Sorry for being mean but you are overthinking. Best wishes.

Original poster

Ashchall95 · 27/01/2022 15:19

@Knockoneofftheshelftowin

Do you know you might poo yourself as well

Sorry for being mean but you are overthinking. Best wishes.

Yeah I'm not bothered about that, I know I'm over worrying but I love to hear others stories and advice ☹️ be kind to others xx

OP posts:

TulipsNdaffs · 27/01/2022 15:21

@miltonj

You won't loose your dignity. Giving birth is literally the most incredible thing a human can do, nothing undignified about it!

If you don't want to take your top half off, there is no reason I can think of that you would. For skin to skin, just make sure you're wearing something button down like a big shirt or nighty.

Agree with this, it needs to be reframed and not associated with 'losing dignity'. There is nothing undignified about giving birth- it's a biological process, you don't have control over the pain you will be in or what kind of delivery you end up having- why should any of the things that happen as a result mean that you have lost dignity?

Getting hammered and being sick all over yourself in the street is undignified. Having a baby is not 😁

Chunkymonkey13 · 27/01/2022 15:21

The only thing that comes close is the probably when your really drunk and you literally don’t care or you seem to care less than when you aren’t drunk.

I had a top in the whole time even in the birthing pool, but I never stripped naked.

I was really worried about this too, i hate getting changed in communal changing areas and will opt for a cubical if possible.

It’s true what every one says you just seem to care less in the moment. But that’s not going to help you with the anxiety.

lightisnotwhite · 27/01/2022 15:21

Being dignified has no place during sex or childbirth really. It’s sort of the point that you aren’t really.

I don’t go to loo around other people. Not my husband, not work. Yet dropped a log at the foot of my best mate who was my birthing partner. Genuinely thought I’d pushed out a baby too.

No. One. Cares. It’s a new life coming into the world. There’s zero interest in you..

ravenmum · 27/01/2022 15:22

Maybe it would help to think about what you mean by "dignity".
I'd feel undignified if I was in a posh restaurant trying to act all smart but then a Brussels sprout shot off my plate onto the floor. That's because of the clash between my supposedly cool and collected appearance, and my childish inability to eat without making a mess.
But when you're giving birth, no-one expects you to look cool and collected. Everyone expects groans, blood, waters breaking and a slippery baby popping out. If you decide to take off an item of clothing because it's uncomfortable, no-one will so much as raise an eyebrow. You're not trying to project an image. You're busy. You don't look undignified.

(Also, just to add: it does hurt, but you know it's going to stop hurting, and you know the pain is normal, not a sign you are ill. And the pain means you're about to see your son or daughter. It's not quite the same as when you hurt yourself, for example.)

20viona · 27/01/2022 15:24

I ended up naked briefly from the bath to
The bed because the pain was so
Bad I couldn't stand I was in a naked heap on the floor 😂 there is zero dignity

TommyShelby · 27/01/2022 15:24

I was only naked in the pool and that didn’t last long. I gave birth in a 3xl t shirt which was swimming on my even while pregnant but my god it was comfy. I was very particular about being clothed for as much of my labour as possible and even after I had thrown up all all over myself, I was determined to wash and dress myself even though I was 7cm gone at that point! The midwife thought it was very funny but she did help me plait my hair out of my face because I kept dropping it with contractions when I was trying to do it.

The midwives will let you do what you need to. As long as they can get to the important bits when they need to! They’ll want you to be as comfy as possible.

foxgoosefinch · 27/01/2022 15:25

I’m not sure dignity and labour are compatible concepts! It’s an animal process and it is what it is. Naked or not, poo during labour or not, it isn’t an experience like any other and I’m not sure worrying about trying to make it into a more everyday rational experience is really worthwhile. Women have widely varying experiences, and no-one can predict what it will be like.

LuckyAmy1986 · 27/01/2022 15:26

You don’t lose your dignity giving birth, naked or not

Please find a positive birth story group and start reading positive stories/ watch positive birth videos

Your mindset is so important in birth, please focus on positive preparation not obsessing over ‘dignity

Sorry but I agree. I don't felt that I lost my dignity giving birth, I thought, and still think, that I was fucking amazing and my self respect and respect for my body went through the roof. I don't get it!

toomuchlaundry · 27/01/2022 15:26

I’m a very private person so was dreading the whole people seeing my bits, but didn’t really care by the end. Labour went quite quickly so ended up giving birth in a white t-shirt (never looked the same!) and my socks! Think I was a bit like a toddler as I kept my eyes shut all the way through labour so pretended no-one could see me naked

I ended up with a retained placenta so had a male consultant’s arm James Herriot style rummaging around trying to pull it out. Think all my dignity had gone by then!

waterlego · 27/01/2022 15:26

I’ve only read about half the thread so far but it’s clear there are lots of different interpretations of the word ‘dignity’!

I stripped off completely when I went into the transition stage. I had never planned to do so- I am usually rather inhibited. But some sort of primal urge took over and I found myself disrobing. I also had a poo during the pushing stage, both times (this was something I had worried about beforehand, but in the moment, I was even aware it was happening). Like most labouring women, I had internal examinations and midwives looking very closely at my vulva, vagina etc. but at no point did I feel undignified, ashamed or embarrassed*. Midwives get up close to vaginas, perineums, anuses and poo all day every day. It doesn’t faze them in the slightest because it’s their job. No one will be laughing, judging, or feeling shocked about anything you do or say in labour, or the way your body looks and behaves.

*Actually just remembered something I found inexplicably embarrassing. When I was in the birthing pool with DC2, every time I had a contraction, I kept holding onto the hose that was filling the pool. But just holding it loosely in one hand; like I was holding hands with a small child. At this point I was very tired and overwhelmed and for some strange reason, I kept apologising to the MW for holding the hose 😂 I hadn’t even had any drugs so no idea what that was all about.

CandleWick4 · 27/01/2022 15:27

I ended up naked and didn’t even realise. I’d had a nighty on and when my baby was born they lifted her to put on my chest, my nighty was whipped off for skin to skin and it was only after I realised I was totally naked.
Don’t over think, go with the flow naked or not!

UnderTheMoonlightWeDanced · 27/01/2022 15:28

Please try and relax and go through your calming exercises to help you prepare.
It’s so hard to explain but you sort of just stop caring you become so so focussed on each contraction and working through it etc the world around you slips away - I remember walking through the hospital grounds stopping every few steps making these intense mooing and guttural screams and grunts and I genuinely didn’t give a flying eff who could hear (which I would have before I went in if that makes sense) I also vividly remember being in the surgery room being stitched up and saying “haha I’ve never had so many people see my vagina” criiiiiinge I was massively sleep deprived and had been through a pretty rough labour and thought that was a funny thing to say to a room full of people…

Winterflower84 · 27/01/2022 15:28

You are overthinking, yes 🙂 Try to relax because whatever you do - lose control or be at your best behaviour - no one will remember as they've seen it all.

waterlego · 27/01/2022 15:28

I thought, and still think, that I was fucking amazing and my self respect and respect for my body went through the roof.

Same here. I felt so empowered. (And knackered!)

silverbubbles · 27/01/2022 15:29

Don't worry - it will all just happen as it does and afterwards you will look back at your posts and realise that you didn't need to over think and worry about being naked as it was so irrelevant. You will have your baby in your arms and you will probably not even recall whether you kept your tshirt on or off!

sunflowerdaisyrose · 27/01/2022 15:30

I wasn't naked for either birth, first I had a hospital gown and second I had a bikini on in the pool and just took the bottoms off to push. I didn't plan either way, just went with the flow. I have one friend who wanted to walk around the hallways naked though so guess we are all different, that definitely wasn't my experience!

Loki01 · 27/01/2022 15:31

I was not naked, never asked to remove clothes. Labored for a while in my joggers as well. Ended up with crash section and still wore my T-shirt lol.

BeyondMyWits · 27/01/2022 15:32

My 2 were 19 and 21 years ago... could have been wearing a suit of armour for all I remember.

That is not the sort of stuff I remember... was rushed down a corridor for an EMCS after having half a dozen student midwives feel what a footling breech is like. Came out with a baby... can't remember what I wore on the way in, during, or on the way out....

RatherBeRiding · 27/01/2022 15:33

Yes you are overthinking. Also - every labour is different. Mine were incredibly easy - I was calm and relaxed throughout and the pain was entirely bearable. But regardless of whether you find it easy, or difficult, you really won't be worried about your 'dignity' - and neither will anyone else in the room! There's far too much else to think about and concentrate on - go into it with an open mind, and remember that the ONLY thing that matters is that you and your baby come back out of that room safe and well.

Flip

1 2 ··· 7 8 9 10 11 12