With the best intentions, and no disrespect, do you feel woman that have c-sections havent 'properley given birth'?

[CharlotteACavatica]

Do you ever feel you think that way even if you dont mean to??

I don't think there's any saving grace to the way the thread title and OP were phrased actually.

The only result would be to make those who have needed c-sections (because few are actually too posh to push) feel inferior to those who have had vaginal births

If I haven't given birth then who the hell are these brats sucking the life out of me?

Charlotte, I've just seen this thread in its entirety.
I've had two elective c-sections and one preterm induced stillbirth
From a purely personal perspective, I do passionately wish I'd been able to deliver a live term baby vaginally. I found my c-sections (one before stillbirth, one after) really unpleasant experiences, despite their wonderful outcomes.
It is a very personal issue, hence the heated responses you've had here. I can strongly identify with your friend's fear of this major surgical procedure even though without its availability I would not have had children at all.

My emotions were find regarding my cs birth. I felt I hand boinded with my baby well before the actual birth, when I was carrying her. I was able to see her and touch her immediately after birth, and then I held er a couple of minute slater whilst they finished the cs op. As did DH. We bedded in together immediately, she breast fed and we cuddled all night. There was never any thought in my mind that I hadn't given birth properly, that I hadn't boded, that it was too medical or anything. It was just me giving my baby life, and having her safe and well and with me from there on in.

I feel very sorry for those people who aren't fortunate enough to have had that birth experience - which can happen with natural births and cs from what I have read on MN many times before.

'chill out' what am I? 12

Oh and other than the odd one or two people online I have never yet come across a person in RL who has considered a c section as not womanly or not "giving birth"

THE THREAD TITLE IS OFFENSIVE....it is, sad you cant see it.

yes TWIG - you are

QoQ now runs off to hoover the lounge/diner before DS3 - who doesn't exist really wakes up.......although that could be quite soon given that he went to sleep about 45 minutes ago

Yes thankyou themildmanneredaxemurderer, thats exactly what im getting at, its not direspectful, its something that people bring up, and to some mums it is a real problem emotionally.

can't believe how rude some of you have been, yes maybe the title wasn't very well put but it's a genuine question. I have friends who've had only c/s for their children's birth and they alwyas wonder what natural birth is like and kinda feel they have missed out. OP mentioned nothing about the child being different or anything, I think reference to IVF/natural conception was uncalled for.

In answer to op, I think that some women(not all) that have a c/s don't think they gave birth naturally(maybe not properly). With my first I has an epidural and felt that I hadn't given birth naturally. With my second I had only gas and air, and boy did I know i'd given birth. But IMO it doesn't matter how you give birth/how you conceive/if you adopt/how you choose to feed your child etc. The main thing is you can be a good parent to your child no matter how they got here

I genuinely don't feel left out or that I missed out for not giving birth naturally.

From your language and overeacting id say so yes TWIGgerhappy, you obviously dont like this post much - yet here you still are! hmmm

oh and meant to add that when my friends, who've only had c/s, say they think they've missed out I tell them they haven't and their child came out safely which is the main thing.

If I have a third child(doubtful) I think i might ask for a c/s so then i've done it all, epidural, natural and c/s. Think that's the only way you can compare!

Thanks Eddas im glad ive not upset EVERYONE!

you going to run me off mumsnet then are you?

Message withdrawn

think the fact that this had dredged up intense responses is very telling.

it does appear quite a judgemental, and inviting judging, OP and thread title, but the OP clearly did not mean it.

but that is the way it comes across

we need to always be respectful of other womens' emotions around birth and to phrase and couch things carefully as feelings around birth run very deep.

Someone in RL told me I hadn't really given birth after my section with ds. He was my first and in truth that's just how I felt about it myself, so it was awful to hear it from someone else. I still don't have totally happy thoughts about ds's birth.

However, with dd four years later, I was completely clear in my own mind that the section was necessary, I'd done everything I could to avoid it etc, and with her I do feel like I gave birth. Exactly the same procedure, but they feel like two entirely different experiences. Also, if anyone had said that to me second time round, I would have laughed at them instead of going home to cry.

Not read the thread but I had an emergency c-section and didnt feel like I properly gave birth and whats more that doesnt bother me in the slightest so it wouldnt concern me if others agreed.

After 10 hours of labour and a then a section - NO I've never thought this. And shame on any woman who thinks this. Having a baby is hard enough work after the birth to even worry what way it went.

See now normally I love Lulumama but when you say this...

if a primip wanted a c.s,i would want to encourage her to think about v.b as it is a potentially wonderful, enriching and empowering experience, that cannot be matched.

It makes me and a bit .My planned section (on advice of consultant) was a wonderful event where my husband and I were involved as much as possible and I don't like to think people would be saying 'well yes, I'm sure it was great but I gave birth naturally and that's an experience that can't be matched'

TWIGgerhappy - run you off mumsnet?? why would i do that? You stated your strong distaste for this thread, so why havent you left it and gone to another thread that you find more appealing - maybe you should start one all about you, and out it in your favourites!

TWIG, why can't we all be a bit nicer? It's not like Charlotte set out to deliberately offend you, and she has had three CS herself! Please calm down...

CAC, i think most people seem to be upset at the phrasing of your title rather than the question. Maybe naturally rather than properly would've been better. But you were rather jumped on before you could explain. And you are right lots of women think about it when they've only had c/s, mind you most then add, but it doesn't matter since the baby's here which is what matters.

The other thing that people said that really wound me up when I was feeling raw about ds's birth was 'oh what does it matter, you have your baby, that's all that matters'. Of course that's true, but it's a big emotional thing to process, so being told that, effectively, you're just being silly and ungrateful is slightly unhelpful.