With the best intentions, and no disrespect, do you feel woman that have c-sections havent 'properley given birth'?

[CharlotteACavatica]

Do you ever feel you think that way even if you dont mean to??

[nimnom]

Does that mean that ds1 isn't "real"!

[LilBloodRedWantsGore]

Have only read the OP and would like to say, thank you very much for reinforcing my feelings of uselessness for having to have a ECS for my only child. Oh, and by the way, she can be the only child I have so I guess I'll never give birth 'properly' in your eyes.

Sorry if this has already been covered and if I am overreacting, but I'm feeling delicate today.

[Hulababy]

CAC - You would have been better rephrasing your thread title so slightly less inflammatory and potentially offensive - think sensitivity really! Also you would have been better putting down the background - your situation and your friend's as you mention later - in the OP. That would have avoided the defensive and upset posts the thread received.

[Lulumama]

thank you dances.

you see, there i am talking about sensitivty and i inadvertently offended. for which i am sorry. and i would much rather know if i have, then i can take care not to do it again.

i suppose, it is my own persoanl experiences colouring my post, my c.s and VBAC were incomparable. not to say a c.s cannot be a wonderful , and life changing and enriching experience too.

so my utmost apologies for that.

[Hulababy]

Tact and sensitivity around these type of issues - always useful I find!

[binkleandflip]

The only thing I found was an occasional thought whilst looking at my new baby 'how did she get here??' One minute she was in, the next out. It never worried me that way she arrived - I didnt have any expectations about the birth and didnt hold an emotional connection for me.

[haychEebeeJeebees]

Actually i dont think her title and op are offensive or deserve the thrashing she has recieved. Ive had 2 sections and none naturally, i wasnt offended or upset by her comments at all. I read it as themildmannereaxemurderer has put it, about baking a cake with your very best efforts just for someone else to come along and ice it, although the person who iced it did a very good job, the cook just wanted to do it herself.
I didnt read it as if youve had a section then you dc dont exist. Thats just nonsense imo.

[MamaMaiasaura]

Just seen this as having had an emergency section after labouring for 48 hours I think it a hurtful thing to think that I hadnt 'given birth' properly. In the olden days if i wasnt able ot have the section the likelyhood is that me and my ds would have died. So therefore woemn who have had sections have given birth.

I am aware that the OP has apprantly had 3 sections but perhaps starting this thread but actually saying you have had 3 sections etc etc rather than the one liner that it was started with might have been better.

Of cours eit will get a reaction from people if started in the way it was. But my guess is that is what was wanted

[whoops]

I had 2 sections - 1 because ds probably wouldn't have survived a natural as he was only 2lb 15 and I probably wouldn't have survived delivering dd as she was breech & weighed 10lb 5oz
I feel I have missed out in a way as I have never felt a contraction but in another way I had a relativly painfree experience and the outcome is the same.

[Georgeous]

Nobody should feel useless after giving birth, by whatever route....

Incidentally, all of you who have had CS, I did read that babies delivered this way are calmer and more chilled as they have not had any birth trauma to their heads.

There you go, something to feel good about when you are doubting yourselves

[TWIGgerhappy]

there are many threads all about me .. don't need to start any more today achually

I am here, because the title of the thread is distasteful, the backpedalling is interesting and some of the comments are rather enlightening

such is the way of internet fora .. you don't get to dictate who reads or gets involved with a thread ..

and as this is a parenting site there will be many pregnant women, first time or not, who are either facing up to the concept of having a secion or will be faced with a crash section

there is a huge sensitivity in this area and I think your title and OP were ill-phrased and offensive

[margoandjerry]

seriously, why does anyone care?

[CharlotteACavatica]

Look, the title stated 'with the best intentions, and no disrespect', do you feel woman that have c-sections havent 'properley given birth'? Some woman DO feel woman that have c-sections havent properley given birth, some are mean about it but some are curious and ok about it, i know of people that have had c-sections and vaginal deliveries, and say that phsically c-section is harder but it is emotionally harder to because some women feel robbed off an experience thay have spent 9 months psyching themselves up for.

[DANCESwithHughJackman]

Apologies accepted

[TWIGgerhappy]

LilRed .. don't worry it's a crass concept as you well know

[Eddas]

the point is that feelings are personal to everyone, obviously this is a very sore subject to some people and understandably. There is no way of helping people with their own thoughts. some people get upset as they had to have c/s, others can view it that they don't care or mind as long as the baby was fine. The thing is that there's nothing you can do about it, if you have to have a c/s then you do. It just that some people accept it more easily than others. I don't want to upset those who obviously feel raw about having a c/s but that is the truth. It is up to the individual to deal with the way they gave birth. I hated my first delivery(induction, followed by hours of start/stop, drip, epidural etc etc, lasted DAYS) swore i'd never have another, and if I did it would be c/s. But now that dd is 3, it doesn't matter, she is here and yes the birth was crap, but it is such a small part of having a child, how can I go on worrying about it? I can't change it, it's in the past.

[MrsPuddleduck]

I have had two c-secions, neither or them through choice and no I don't feel like I have 'properly' given birth. I feel that I was robbed of that experience and also feel quite upset about it. I don't feel that it makes me any less of a mother.

Were you starting the thread becuase you feel the same way?

[LilBloodRedWantsGore]

Thanks Twig!

I'm normally okay with it, but thread title like this bring back awful memories. I think I'll step away now.

[CharlotteACavatica]

Twig if i was backpedallling id be in the realisation i was wrong, so what am i wrong about? that some woman dont feel c-sections are unnatural? or that woman that have them dont sometimes feel robbed? what? im a woman thats had c-sections and i have encountered both of these issues and they are very very real, i myself used to feel very low and robbed, but i got some good advice from good friends, and im well aware that the most important fact is that baby is brought into the world safe and well, again i am talking about the EMOTIONS involved, that is all. Seriously this is a discussion TWIG not target practice!

[Lulumama]

[haychEebeeJeebees]

I am suprised to learn that there is alot of sensitivity in this issue. Why should there be, i dont get it.
TWIG - you are obviously aware of the huge sensitivity but you cant expect everyone else to realise that. I certainly wouldnt. Just the same as i had no awareness of emetophobia until i came here. Dont attack the op just because she doesnt have the same level of mn insight as you do.

[NAB3]

A ceasarean is not womanly???????????

Well, I am glad I am not womanly if it means by darling boy is here. He would have died without a section.

[haychEebeeJeebees]

Target practice, love it, lol

[Lulumama]

how can anyone be surprised that there is alot of sensitivity and emotions aroudn childbirth..

c'mooooonn !