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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Hand hold. No heartbeat 38+5 being induced currently.

238 replies

MisssC3025 · 24/05/2020 19:19

Hi all..

Just need some people to talk to. My baby was diagnosed with a lethal condition at 20wks. We decided to carry to term knowing that he may pass away in utero... which has been the case for us.. we found out yesterday after experiencing no movement 😭😔 (38wks +5)

Came into hosp this morn to start induction process. Have had two lots of misoprostol. Cervix examination at 4pm suggested that my cervix is still posterior.

After first tablet was inserted at 12pm I started getting bad cramps like period pain. Since getting my second they're much stronger. My back is achey!! Have so far just had paracetamol.

It's an ongoing dull painful ache and my tummy tightens every now and then. This is my first pregnancy so no idea how contractions should feel!

Any advice support would be grateful. Obviously if things progress I may not be able to message but at the moment I'd really like some people to talk to.

Anyone with similar experiences 💙💙

OP posts:
Rebelwithallthecause · 24/05/2020 19:41

Handholding and so sorry Flowers

EmmaGrundyForPM · 24/05/2020 19:41

No advice but thinking of you OP. I hope you are able to have time with your son afterwards. Flowers

EveryoneLoves09876 · 24/05/2020 19:42

Thinking of you so much op.

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 24/05/2020 19:42

I'm so so sorry OP ((((hugs))))

Please be gentle with yourself and just do whatever feels comfortable.
You are still a mother, despite this and you always will be Flowers

namechangenumber2 · 24/05/2020 19:42

So sorry @MisssC3025 , here with a virtual handhold x

RandomMess · 24/05/2020 19:42

I found a birthing ball far comfier than the bed!

Cliffdonville · 24/05/2020 19:44

So sorry, sending you love and strength x

CloudyVanilla · 24/05/2020 19:45

I'm ever, ever so sorry this was not the outcome you wanted, but I'm amazed how strong and calm you are. I wish you all the very best for meeting your little one, I'm sure they will be absolutely beautiful.

Regarding labour, contractions from pessaries can come and go, I was induced with my second and third babies and both times my contractions tapered off after some rest. I was told that the job of the pessaries wasn't to get you into labour, but more to dilate and soften the cervix so that other methods will be more effective. I'm sure some women do labour just from them though!

Get as much rest as you can and eat and drink small amounts while you can. Meeting your baby will be beautiful, wishing you all the strength in the world Flowers

MisssC3025 · 24/05/2020 19:46

Thanks all!

@RandomMess I am currently on the birthing ball funnily enough. Rotating clockwise. It does help you're right x

OP posts:
BayHorse · 24/05/2020 19:47

No advice but just wanted to say how brave you are OP. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Enjoy the time with your lovely boy.

PeppaChick · 24/05/2020 19:47

What a loved little one you are waiting for. What a wonderful mum you are. Sending love and strength.

busface999 · 24/05/2020 19:47

You have been so brave. Thinking of you and hoping things progress for you tonight. You said you already have lots of memory ideas, as well as lots of photographs please consider take some videos of your time together. I find this brings memories back so much more clearly than photographs sometimes.

Lamby225 · 24/05/2020 19:47

💐

MisssC3025 · 24/05/2020 19:50

@busface999 we will definitely be videoing these moments. 🙏💙

OP posts:
Bluetrews25 · 24/05/2020 20:00

So sad you are going through this.
I can't light a candle on here, but I can shine a Star for your little star.

lucindalovescats · 24/05/2020 20:00

I'm so sorry, you poor thing we are all thinking of you. Flowers

sunflowersandtulips50 · 24/05/2020 20:03

I cant even begin to imagine how you are feeling. However I agree with another poster who asked if they had a cold cot so you can spend a few days with your little one. Hugs from me

Thesearmsofmine · 24/05/2020 20:06

I’m so very sorry. A hand hold from me.

Hopeful201 · 24/05/2020 20:08

I'm so sorry, I had a stillbirth at full term-it was a shock and a life changing moment for me and my family. Make as many memories as you can-I was too ill to hold my DS it still hurts that I didn't hold him-so hold him for as long as you can. Take photo's, talk and cherish every moment. Be gentle with yourself. x

Istwowyes17262 · 24/05/2020 20:09

Thinking of you OP xx

BabloHoney · 24/05/2020 20:10

So sorry for the loss of your beautiful little boy.. please have a virtual hug from me as well Flowers

endofthelinefinally · 24/05/2020 20:10

I am so, so sorry.
Flowers

BrownRogerForever · 24/05/2020 20:10

I am so sorry this has happened. My heart breaks for you.

My twins died in utero at 30 weeks and I was induced. So I ll give you all the info that helped me in.

Labour did take longer, I think I needed up have three doses. The midwives will give you extra care, take it all. Don't think you have to cope with the pain, take whatever pain relief helps, I had gas and air and pethadin (didn't make me foggy, just calmed me down).

Move around if you want to, they don't need to monitor in the same way (you are the priority rather than your baby) so do what feels right, they let me go in shower for ages and use a birth ball.

I'm sorry if some of this is hard to read, but I couldn't find this information when it happened to me and it shocked me...
I don't know when you baby died, but my boys died 4 days before I have birth to them. They were beautiful, fully formed little babies, beautiful eyes, hair, toes...but they had turned a purple colour, in my head I thought they would look pink. Their skin was delicate, so I couldn't dress or bath them. I had to be careful with them. I don't know if this is usual as no talks about it but it did upset me.

As another poster said, take as many photos as you can, I am sure they will get you a cold cot. Take your time. Dress your beautiful baby if you can. The midwives did hand and foot prints, weighted my boys and made me a little tape measure with the length. They swaddled them up for me. Kiss your baby and talk to them.

I honestly have very fond memories of giving birth to my boys. It has taken time but I am proud of myself, it was the hardest thing I will ever do (I hope). It was time with them and birth made me feel normal and that they could have something normal, like other babies.

You are a mother and your baby is just as much a baby as anyone elses. You will do this. Take your time, take pain relief. Final 'tip' you have a teddy for your baby take it/get someone to get it, and let them snuggle. My boys teddies really helped afterwards...

God I am so sorry. Thinking of you.

JJSS123 · 24/05/2020 20:11

Thinking of you all, I have lit a candle for you and I am praying this is as comfortable as it can be for you.

Sorry really not good with words but didn’t want to read and run. xxx

dementedma · 24/05/2020 20:14

Can you share your son’s name with us?

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