What don't the books tell you about birth?

[FeeFee382]

Exactly that. What don't the textbooks tell you about childbirth.

Discuss.

How quickly things can change. I went for a routine 38 week midwife appt at 9am, having had a textbook low risk pregnancy and set for a water birth.

MW diagnosed DD as transverse, and by 5pm that day I was cuddling her after a c section.

(C section was great, btw, and I'd do the same again)

All the books I've read talk about birth. But then I am choosing ones that particularly focus on that. The positive birth book and Give Birth like a Feminist for starters.

I misread your question sorry - I thought you said "why don't textbooks tell you about birth?". Brain fart, sorry!!

That the feelings of contractions can occur in odd places. 2nd baby it was all in the front of my thighs. Weirdest feeling ever.

That's it's near impossible to pee in labour. Catheter it is! (Quick and Painless btw)

That it can hurt in your bum

How much else comes out with the baby. I looked at the bed and I was a bit shocked (and I'm not squeamish at all). I was more shocked when the midwife said "oh you didn't lose much blood at all." I was sitting in a puddle of it thinking "this isn't a lot of blood?!?!"

That after birth you bleed for weeks on end!

How to recover after it all (and how long it can take).

That you don't know what the word 'fear' actually means.

Sorry to tell you that

That it's messy, undignified and it hurts more than you can ever imagine - but that's normal!!. Ime the wondering if the pain was normal was more worrying than dealing with the pain...

Don't worry @bingbangbing I've already had one.

Things I found:

1. You will never experience pain like it - not one book talked about how painful the syntocin drip is and that a recommended epidural should be had.

1. The pain of the birth and memory disappears after 12 weeks or so.

1. So. Much. Blood. After the birth for 6 weeks

Yes to the PP who mentioned not being able to pee in labour. I totally couldn't despite knowing I needed to go and trying multiple times. In the end my labour progressed so quickly I just kind of forgot I needed it .... eventually went after DD arrived though!

I disagree about forgetting the pain after a bit. DD is 4. I recall it all vividly!

They don't tell us the reality of giving birth as it would put so many women off having babies.

1. Babies look fucking gross when they come out and they are purple (big shock with my first).

1. You sweat like a mother fucker for a week or so after. I was having multiple showers a day and felt like burning the mattress after .

1. Hospitals are the hottest places on the planet!

The extent of bleeding afterwards. Wasn't prepared for weeks of heavy bleeding and gigantic clots.

Afterpains. I didn't know about them and I didn't realise they could be as painful as labour, or that nobody would give me any pain relief for them. I asked for gas and air after DC4, they were that horrific I thought perhaps there was a missed twin I was giving birth to.

If you push the baby out like you push a poo out you are more likely to be doing it right.
And you will also probably push some poo out too!

1. Inductions don't always take days like everyone makes out
2. Placentas can be stubborn and can ruin your first moments with your baby if it doesn't come out

bleeding! varies so much.

The horror of the first post baby poo 🤯

That you keep getting contractions for days after giving birth, and sometimes they felt more painful than the actual birth!

And the bleeding that lasted for 8 weeks after giving birth, and it was pretty heavy.

That anyone can be in such pain and not die!

After pains with subsequent babies are worse than labour ime...

The first poo And wee afterwards

afterpaina

That going to the loo afterwards is a bit of a trial. Including wiping. Someone warned me, I think her exact words were "don't be shocked when you nearly lose your hand in there".

Also, the epidural often doesn't work properly.