What don't the books tell you about birth?

[FeeFee382]

Exactly that. What don't the textbooks tell you about childbirth.

Discuss.

Not feeding you is horrible.

I remember lying in recovery and literally begging for a drink of water from people walking past! They just ignored me!

Didn't get one till the ward and that was a tiny paper cup! No wonder it took so long for my milk to come in.

Twats

@Smarshian totally agree 😂 the first poo was worse than labour 🤣

The afterpains.. horrific... and took me completely unaware first time round.

That whatever you plan for labour, it never goes that way! I've done it twice now and both good in some ways bad in others bit nothing like what I'd planned. Two DC alive and well so I'm blessed anyway

The things i didnt know:
You bleed for 6 weeks after. I had haemorrhaging after all mine. That was terrifying. So I also learned that if you have to go to hospital you can bring your baby with you.

The baby's first poo's stick to their delicate skin like glue. Cotton wool and water is not much help so slather the baby's bum in Vaseline and it will all glide off.

Milk coming in is agonising (worse than labour in my case as I had epidurals for labour) I didn't find anything to relieve it.

Breastfeeding is very convenient....for those for whom it works. If you decide against or it's difficult for you do not be bullied by anyone to continue. Your body your choice. (this stems from two new mothers on my ward, one was horribly bullied by a BF "advisor" and the other was really confident she didnt want to so shut down every attempt to convince her. You need her confidence. Otoh my first born took to it like a dream so I didnt have any issues but I was embarrassed when other mothers tried to involve me in that Breast is superior type of conversation. My second child had no interest at all and I would have given up had he been my first. I would hate to have been made to feel bad over that.

Bathing a baby in a high baby bath is much easier on you and probably gives you better grip/baby more faith in you while bathing (i had one for my 2nd, not my 1st. My 1st hated bath time the second loved it, I put this down to my comfort in bathing them)

Bear in mind your baby has no one to compare your parenting to: you are both learning the ropes together. Be kind to yourself, I never came across oneupmanship like I did over childbirth and parenting as I did when the children were Small. The judgement and subsequent knocking of other new mothers was often nasty. There is very little of it now they are teenagers!

Some health professionals couldn't spot sepsis if you were sat under the poster. Have a birth partner with the confidence to speak up.

That even if you have done it before and KNOW how it all goes, every single birth is different! My two were chalk and cheese, I felt like I had been hit by a bus with my first,but with my second,I could've walked home with the baby strapped to my back I felt invincible!

There are front and back waters - who knew?! Labour started when my waters broke, and I was very confused when 24 hours later the midwife said she wanted to break them!

I felt like contractions were like having the worst diarrhoea cramps known to man.

The period clots afterwards

How an epidural is all based on gravity and will go where gravity pulls it!

@usuredo - yes to this. Vaginal exams are really not necessary but are treated as though routine. Didn’t have any with second and third labour. All choices are yours however they are worded or presented.

That you might actually enjoy bits of it...

I genuinely liked labour and feel sad I won't get to do it again. I loved the excitement of it all. And the high afterwards was a feeling I'll never top.

I also cared about being exposed too - humans are like cats who go and hide in a drawer to give birth, we don't necessarily like to be observed.

The days afterwards were not good for me. I hate leaking from everywhere, bleeding clots every time you move, and not being able to go to the loo without shrieking in fear/pain. I hate the day 3-5 low and the insane tiredness.

I would gladly labour and deliver again, but I wouldn't welcome the newborn days at all.

I also refused to be examined for births 2,3 and 4.

I had no idea that 50% of women will suffer a prolapse from childbirth. The fact is the vagina heals up to an extent so most women don't notice they have a prolapse until they reach menopause. At menopause when oestrogen declines the vaginal walls become weaker and you're suddenly aware of the prolapse. I noticed my prolapses within days of giving birth to my second though.