Who was present at your birth?

[LatoyaLondon]

I would like my mum and partner present. I know people who have had friends present, aunts, and one had a doula. Out of pure curiosity, who did you have present at the birth of your child(ren) and why?

I'm surprised some hospitals even allow so many people in the birth suites in the first place.
I'm fairly sure my hospital only allowed one person.

First birth - my partner and my mum. You were only allowed two birthing partners but my sister came up to swap places with my Mum (had a very long labour!) When it was time to swap back she told security she wasn't going anywhere and they let them both stay! To be fair the midwife needed all the help she could get as they were short staffed and I had a very difficult birth. Eventually two surgeons and a whole team too in surgery.

Second birth - partner and mother in-law. One midwife.

DS1 - DH, midwife, consultant obstetrician, student (who really needed to see a natural birth as part of her training. Private Hospital.

DS2 - DH, midwives x 2, DS1 - put in an unexpected appearance and demanded to be allowed to stay, aged 3. Dogs were in the next room and nanny and boyfriend in the bedroom over us, so they heard everything. Lovely home birth.

Dh and medical staff on both occasions. Perfect for me. If dh had not been available, then I might have asked my mum, I know she'd have been good, but dh was my first choice. Didn't need anyone to keep him calm, was totally focused on my needs.

He'd had plenty of practice as I was in and out of hospital with various pregnancy complications.

No DH (was stuck abroad).
About 38 medical staff (complex prem PROM leading to EMCS under GA. I had everybody in the room!)

DH and no idea how many medical staff as it was an EMCS and I was rushed into theatre . Was just glad it was all over and knew I would NEVER do it again. (and it was 17 years ago).

Wouldn't have wanted my mother there and can't imagine she would have wanted to be there either. And I wouldn't dream of wanted to be invited to any future DGC's birth. Can't think of anything worse.

Midwife, ob/gyn, pediatrician and nurse. DH didn't make it in time.

Sorry, forgot the 'why' part! The ob/gyn, pediatrician and nurse because that's standard where I live. The midwife (independent) because DH was several hours away and I wanted someone to come to the hospital with me and be with me during labour. Thank goodness she was there - by the time we arrived at the hospital (very quick labour) I was ready to push and in no fit state to even give my name, let alone check into the hospital properly!

Dd1 no one but medical staff
Dd2 my dad & medical staff, mum had just died so couldn’t ask her

Gumbo shortly after the birth of DS (the medical professionals had just left and I was in the delivery room (naked) holding a naked DS, a man wondered in and said he'd come to take my order for breakfast! I was stunned and asked what people who had just given birth usually had for breakfast. He advised fruit and banana bread.

I wanted my mum and boyfriend but ended up in theatre so only had my boyfriend for the actual birth in the end. My mum was there for my whole labour though. I liked having both as it meant they could take turns (eg getting food, making calls) and you get a different type of support from your mum than the support a partner gives and for my first I definitely needed both those types!

Husband and about 10 medical staff as both have been emergencies.

Husband only

DH
3 doctors
4 nurses
1 midwife
1 student midwife
15 medical students - was crowded (they asked - I said I didn’t mind - everyone has to learn sometime and I was an anomoly apparently worthy of studying)

They played “here comes the sun” on the CD player and everyone was chatting and talking about vacations

I remember feeling very strange and thinking it’s like a cocktail party

Didn’t mind tho

DP, grandma, two female midwives.

1st birth - DH and 2 midwives (dd was a bit reluctant to come out ).

2nd birth - just me and midwife. DH was outside in the corridor with DD. Excellent, quick textbook birth (15mins from arrival to birth) and I could just focus on myself!

I quite liked watching those American birth programmes where the Mum had about 12 relatives in the delivery room, with baby being born to a Mexican wave and a crowd fanfare 😂

Dc1- a number of student midwives flirted in and out. Think there was a doctor? Right at the end there was h and 1 midwife.

Dc2 - cast of thousands from start to finish. Induced in theatre - this was right at the start of the "my name is..." campaign so I was in stirrups and it seemed like half the hospital traipsed in to tell me their name and what they were doing or might do in case of emergency. One Obs Dr rupturing waters.

Then on to ward for Labour. 1 midwife, 1 student Dr and h. Midwife swapped for another at her break.
Then original midwife left and replaced by another.
Then her shift finished and she and student Dr left to be replaced by 2 midwives giving constant 1:1 care. H there too.
Then an anaesthetist for an epidural.
Then a doctor came in for a quick check.
Just before the birth a different Dr came in to manually turn baby while h and midwives supported me. He left.

Birth in the end was just me, h and two midwives. Then the baby. Huzzah.

DC1: DH and 2 midwives, one of whom I wouldn't let into the bathroom as it was too small and I wasn't moving for anyone. Lovely home birth. I didn't really notice any of them though when it came to the delivery, I was very much in the pain zone.

Hoping for similar with DC2, although can see how a doula/friend would be very helpful to take care of DC1. Would happily have any of my mum friends over to help out or my sister. DM would be too anxious and would raise the stress levels.

Wouldn't mind a student either, I was one once and we need to learn!

I had my mum and my DH.
For majority of it my mum was awful, she sat their texting with her button sounds on and the noise grated on me so much, I asked her to turn it off but then she still had her general text alert sound on - as I was trying to do hypnobirthing it was bloomin distracting. She rolled her eyes at everything and kept trying to talk to me and ask me really obviously answered questions. Dh blew his lid at her in the end, after my millionth request that she be quiet.

DH was great, he just knew exactly what to do and when - she knew when to massage me, he knew when to get my breathing back down.

But my mum became a saver for me when she realised the student midwife was not breaking my waters but actually instead cutting me - DH didn't have a clue what was going on at that point. So grateful I had my mum to tell that MW to get out of me.

I was on my own with midwives, my DP and mum were on there way but my DS came so quick they missed it all!

DH, my obsgyn and various medical staff. I was considered high risk and had a section. No one even knew the date even though I knew weeks before!

1st was DP and mum with one midwife, 2nd was DP and one midwife and 3rd was DP and 2 midwives. With my first I was 19 and DP and I were a bit on and off so I wanted my mum incase DP wasn't there. He did come with us in the end so mum sort of stayed in the background.

First time: my DH, midwife, then a million panicky medical staff, but the midwife promptly kicked them out and it went back to just the 3 of us.
Second time: my DH, midwife, DD (17mo at the time), and my mum was in the house but not in the room for the actual birth. I yelled for her when baby was a few seconds old. (Then my dad came a few hours later with the most amazing Chinese take away I’ve ever tasted )

DS1, for labour DH and 4 different teams of midwives- I was there a long time. For the birth (EMCS), full surgical team and DH.

For DS2 (ELCS), DH and full surgical team.

DC1 husband and mum
DC2 husband ... mum looked after DC1