Who was present at your birth?

[LatoyaLondon]

I would like my mum and partner present. I know people who have had friends present, aunts, and one had a doula. Out of pure curiosity, who did you have present at the birth of your child(ren) and why?

My husband and the medical staff, no way would I want anybody else.

Emcs with my dtwins.

Me and my husband
Anesthetist
2 surgeons
2 pediatricians
2 midwives
4 theatre staff
2 trainee doctors.

I felt like I was in a bubble and didn't notice anything but dh and the babies.

Just DH and the midwife until things started going wrong. Then the room filled up with more and more people - I'm pretty sure it included:

• a Japanese tour group
• someone directing traffic
• a dinner lady taking orders of what everyone fancied for breakfast
• someone selling popcorn

... and I didn't care less! (I snarled at one random doctor who appeared and came over to introduce himself - I didn't care what he was called, I just wanted the baby out!)

Based on a scientific survey I have been conducting (ie watching One Born Every Minute) there seems to be a very strong correlation between age and having your mum present. I can't imagine having mine there when I give birth (hopefully in two months) - it seems like something for just me and DH, and also I think she'd find seeing me in pain and not really being able to help incredibly distressing (I think DH might not like that either, but he can't get out of it!)

My brother! I don't know which one of us would be more horrified.

As I was having a booked CS for a twin delivery there was no option to bring anyone else along.

I'm always a bit agog At people wanting their mum there to me it's the time you're becoming a parent and it's important to not be in 'child' mode if that makes any sense. I think it's really important that you're becoming a little family of your own and I'd worry having a parent there would impact on the new family bonds

I had dh and mil as well as the midwives, registrar etc.

@Thirtyrock39 that's an interesting way of thinking about it. Out of curiosity, how do you think it would affect family bonds?

I see my mum as part of the family. She lives 200 miles from me however so she may not even be able to make it to the birth! She's staying with a friend near us in the week before and after my due date. If baby doesn't come during her time it'll just be me and DP which I will be more than happy with!

My Mum wanted to be there but it wasn't really appropriate. I was in my 30's! DH said his Mum would be upset etc and I didn't want to make this a massive drama. I did have my DSis just in case my partner was away. In fact lots of people wanted to be In Case of Emergency.

People do tend to come from nowhere when things get sticky. 0300 and the room had a good few people in. I really don't mind students and tbh I don't know whether they were there or not.

its rather like your birth plan especially for your first. You have all sorts of dreams and ideas, my NCT colleague said she didn't want a midwife who hadn't given birth before, someone else wanted some Jo Malone candles and some 'special' music.

It all goes out the window especially around pain relief. My very wise consultant said the time to choose is when you are in the middle of the pain.

Just to add, my partner sent me this the other day. Perhaps would have preferred not to have anyone there

My husband. My mum was meant to be with me too, but unfortunately lives 90 miles away and my labour was too fast for her to make it!

@BodgingThisMumThing beautiful! It's amazing. I can't imagine my mum would have an issue as an ex midwife of 25 years

DP and about 7 or 8 members of medical staff, wouldn't have wanted anyone else with us, it was a section following failed induction that went on 5 days so couldn't have coped with my mum there too!

Latoya you’re right it is beautiful, seeing photos like that both amaze and scare me at the same time! Makes me get all emotional about being a woman

@BodgingThisMumThing it's terrifying thinking I'm going to have to do that in a few months. Weirdly excited. Probably won't be saying that during labour. Women are amazing!

Emergency c section so at least 10 medical people and my husband!

DH plus 12 different medical personnel including NICU staff

About 20 different medical personnel (c section under general, I had placenta accreta)

Initially DH and midwife, then as I was pushing more and more people appeared, a second midwife, neonatal doctor, consultant doctor, and two healthcare assistants, I think there was a student midwife in there at one point as well. Ds had the cord around his neck and had been in distress, but was fine in the end. They were all amazing.

For DC1 in hospital, I had two MWs holding me down, one MW giving me an episiotomy whilst two doctors forced my legs open, one doctor trying to shove forceps in, a paediatric nurse, a handful of students and my crying DH. No one asked for my consent. No one had permission to be there - apart from DH. Awful.

DC2, 3 and 4 at home with just my DH. Lovely.

Husband and midwife

DD1: DH and 1 midwife.
DD2: DH and 2 midwifes.

I just wanted quiet and space for both of my labours, so wouldn't have liked having lots of people there. I also think it's a very intimate and life changing moment when you become parents and having other people there (bar medical professionals) would feel wrong.

just my husband and medical staff. next time I will have a c section so lots of staff, my husband and my sister too. I wish my sister had been the first time as she is a doctor and would have understood what was going on. she also would have realised that the situation was wrong (ventouse without discussion/warning/consent) and likely would have stopped it.

First my DP and then called my mum when 35 hours in to come when I realised no one was listening to me and needed back up. When baby came my family were removed from the room and I was put to sleep so I guess no one I knew was present for her birth in the end
2nd time was a planned section just me and DP (and about 10 strangers) and was perfect

My partner and about 20 medical staff (twin birth)