Who was present at your birth?

[LatoyaLondon]

I would like my mum and partner present. I know people who have had friends present, aunts, and one had a doula. Out of pure curiosity, who did you have present at the birth of your child(ren) and why?

Will only have husband + MW/medical staff. To my mind that's how it should be. Think mums (lovely as they are!) have a tendency to take over and leave the partner feeling sidelined. You only have to watch one episode of OBEW to know that.

When I had my DS my DP and Mum were there although my mum had to leave shortly before due to care for my little sister and missed it by an hour 😩 just my DP at DD birth because my mum was looking after DS 😊

Just dh (and medical staff).

I can not imagine anything worse than having my dm there but she's not exactly supportive at the best of times.

Hospital staff, my dp and my mum. I was adamant I didn't want her there and found it weird that people did but when it came to it I was in so much pain and just wanted my mum!

Ds1 DM and (now X)H for labour, then just H for EMCS, lovely caring kind aneasthetist and lovely surgeon on a step as she was tiny, lovely birth.

DS2 ELCS (X)H, surgical team who didnt give two shits about me, trainee aneasthetist that took 8 attempts to insert epidural. DS born and XH just swanned off with him. Horrific left me with PTSD.

DD ELCS at 33w - Doula all the way to theatre doors and after birth, DP in theatre,and lovely surgical team plus NICU retrieval people. Lovely birth.

If I had the option of a natural, I would have DP, Doula and my current MIL (XH mum is a cunt) over my own DM.

My kids are only 2& 3, but I honestly don't remember. From tiredness or god knows what, I have almost no memories of their births.

I know exH was there for both and no one else I "knew", but I couldn't have told you how many medical staff, if any, were there. Is it that abnormal to not remember big things like this clearly?

Just me.

For my first born, a son, just a midwife, and then a doctor for some complications later.. For my daughter. only my then husband, who delivered her on the back seat of our car.

Layto - when DCs were born 1- DH, midwife, trainee midwife, I felt v lucky to have 2 midwives with me!! Really only interested in hcps being there when the time came. DH was useful till the pushing stage at which point I became unaware of his presence.
2 - DH, a midwife, was very quick and I was unaware of anything except myself! I think maybe another HCP was in the room too.
I'm sure having anyone else, like my mum, would have been awful, it's not a time when you want to feel self concious!

Just me and DW (and consultants, surgeons, nurses - whole operating theatre...)

My husband, midwives various plus consultant obstetrician first time round at a couple of points then for stitching because I was high risk, registrar second time around beginning and middle because things went bettter than expected first time and no stitching, hurrah.

The same HCA both times who tidied me up after and brought a cup of tea before I went up to the post natal ward and who was the sweetest person ever.

These have all been so interesting to read! I'm absolutely terrified of childbirth but this has certainly opened my eyes to just how many women do it and how much support is on hand when needed. Thank you all!

It's entirely your choice who, if anybody, you have. But remember it's not a spectator sport. The only person with a right to be there is you.

Things can and do occasionally go wrong. When they do the NHS has an amazing ability to pull the stops out for you. I hemorraged after my second birth because of the speed of it. Had my mum been there she would have been a nervous wreck but that's MY mum, other mum's could be different.

Another thought for you before you decide on who to have, think how comfortable you'd feel to have them in a bathroom with you.

I didn't intend to have my second alone (he caught my by surprise) but labouring alone is ok.

OP, when I was pregnant one of my friends told me she actually had had a scented-candles-and-sweet-music childbirth, and she thought it was important to say that because you hear so many horror stories you end up being terrified.

I'd just like to say - childbirth doesn't have to be awful. Mine wasn't. Miriam Stoppard says that if you think it's going to hurt, it will. Unfortunately, it doesn't work the other way round, but, point is, the more relaxed you can be about it, the better.

Oh and do keep active if you can. I was also told that cycling is good for childbirth because it strengthens the abdominal muscles, and in my extremely anecdotal (one child, one bike) experience, that is true.

My mum and my baby's father (then parter)

Husband and midwife. Lovely and calm.

Just dh and hospital staff, I wouldn't have wanted anyone else there, it's a very private moment for me/us.

From my place on my back with my legs in the air, I had the impression they had sold tickets. There was even a man with a bucket and mop, probably passing by and thought he would pop in as such a spectacle.

What I don’t understand is the relatives and friends that walk the corridors sit in the waiting room for hours and hours continuously texting calling said woman in labour wanting to know what’s happening .....

Interesting thread, had this conversation with DH’s family today. Our plan is to have just the two of us and whatever medical staff required. DH’s step mum today informed us that she thought this was weird, as she had been present when her daughter gave birth to her grandchild and she couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t want my mother there 🙄 she was adamant she should be...

DM and I have a very, very good relationship but from the off have agreed she would only be there if DH couldn’t for some reason... Mum doesn’t really want to be there as she knows this is something we want to do together as we are starting our family. DH is likely to be useless, but if he doesn’t go through the experience how will we ever know- I don’t know what I’m doing either!!

Again I think it’s all personal preference 😊

My best friend.

Just DH and necessary healthcare professionals. Absolutely no friends/family members or others. Birth isn't a circus - don't get why anyone would want a whole circus of others - mum's/dads, brothers/sister's, best friends or any other random person there. Surely your husband is enough?

My husband and 1 midwife.

Wouldn’t have wanted anyone else there.

DC1 - me and my friend
DC2 - me and SIL

...but from the title I thought you meant who was there at MY birth in which case it was just my mum on her own.