Would you have a Doula?

[InMemoryOfSleep]

I’m considering training as a Doula, and I’m interested to know people’s reasons for choosing to have one (or not!). Is cost a factor? Also, do people find it a bit ‘woo’?! One of the issues I had when searching for a Doula locally is that the few available offer things like shamanic healing, placenta encapsulation, etc, which is just not for me . I wondered if there is a place for a sensible, supportive birth Doula, without the new age approach, or is that missing a vital part of what the role is about?

Would not have one if for any reason my husband couldn’t be there I wouldn’t have a birth partner wouldn’t want no one else and think I would cope fine on my own tbh

Only asking as my partner (a male midwife with over 12 years experience in delivery suite) is considering becoming a doula, seems to be a lot of negativity towards the idea of a male doula

@SeeKnievelHitThe17thBus have a look on Doula UK at the access fund, they might be able to help? Also individual Doulas often offer negotiable fees if you’re on a low income, so it’s worth contacting some. Fingers crossed you have a better birth this time.

My sister is the only person I know who has used a doula. She insisted on a home birth with only the doula and her partner present despite it being a high risk first pregnancy and drs advising her very strongly to have a hospital birth. She insisted all natural home births were safer and drs were wrong. The labour went predictably, horribly wrong and she very nearly lost the baby and he was in hospital for weeks. He’s fine now. Sister is still an idiot unfortunately.
None of that was directly the doula’s fault but I am very sceptical about their usefulness.

Wow @User14567891 Doulas definitely aren’t meant to be used in place of medical support - I’m very surprised your sister found one who was willing to attend at all.

Me too! Obviously it was her decision but I think the Doula had a moral obligation to say it was unsafe to go against the drs’ advice? They aren’t regulated are they so can more or less do what they want?
She doesn’t live in the uk, but I think that is also true here?

I'm a doula. I'm not woo. I support all types of births, medicated, unmedicated, vaginal, cesarean, water you name it I support it. I'm also a post partum doula, I offer non-judgmental support to families no matter what parenting ethos they have.

I trained with a certifying organisation, they have a rigorous 2 day, 20 hour training and then I have to take a test every year to re-certify too.

I do not do anything medical at all, it is not in my scope of practice to do so and I could find myself in deep hot water with both my certifying organisation and my insurance if I did.

Yes, it's unregulated but so are many jobs such as tatto artists etc

OP, if you want info on who I certify with then please let me know.

I will add that I wouldn't personally have a doula, I didn't even have a midwife, both dc were planned cs and I just had my doctors.
But if I were to have anyone, then I would also want a female doula. I can't really see how a man could take that role.

I had a doula for my first birth and she was amazing- in fact she was so amazing that the confidence and knowledge I gained from her means that I don't feel it necessary to have one this time around. Worth her weight in gold.

Sorry just to clarify I won't support unassisted home births!

I would only want a female doula, and very preferably one who’d gone through childbirth herself. Didn’t mind having a male obstetrician and probably would have been okay with a male midwife, or other medical roles, but not someone whose only job there is to support me with what I’m going through and how I feel about that.

My childbearing days are over but I'd definitely use one.

I preferred my midwife's comforting touch during labour than my husbands.

My midwife couldn't be in the room all the time.

Just based on that, if I could afford a doula and found one that wasn't pushy or hippy, I would probably get one.

Lipstick sure hates those Doulas! Lol.

And jam sure hate any conversation about clinical efficacy and unregulated roles.lol

I wouldn't use a doula. I wouldn't want a male midwife and I certainly wouldn't choose a male doula.

It was called years ago a midwife - had nursing training

Even then things could go terribly wrong for both mother and baby - worst case scenario was that both died

What is wrong with a hospital birth?

Is it me or are we going backwards re: birth and the best medical assistance available for both mother and more important baby delivery and survival rate?

@clyde5591 that’s incorrect, a Doula has never been the same as a midwife, they are very different roles. And I would say that (hopefully) we are going forwards in terms of enabling women to have the choice of where they give birth - hospital is not necessarily the best choice, and in fact for low risk women having second or subsequent babies, a midwife led unit or a home birth is safer.

Wouldn't have a doula, don't see the point (unless no relative or friend to be with you). Nhs provides qualified medical staff who can DO stuff needed to safeguard the health of mum and baby. Doula can't do anything other than moral support - but I'd rather have a known person do that (family/ friend / partner) not a total stranger. Also why would I pay someone a few hundred pounds who has no medical training and can't intervene to make sure all goes smoothly? I've known a couple of doulas on online forums. They were pretty full on with the normal birth ideology. Not my cup of tea..!!

Are midwives medics?
Doesn't 'midwife' mean 'with woman'?
Isn't it the midwife's role to be an advocate for the woman? Something they train for 3 years (as opposed to 2 days) and qualify as a professional. They are regulated by the nursing and midwifery council and prove that they undertake many hours of study to keep up-to-date with the latest research. Skilled in communicating and massaging AND making tea & toast too

@impishgal77 absolutely, unfortunately the state of the NHS at the moment means staffing ratios are pretty poor, and so most women won’t have the 1:1 attention of a midwife. Midwives tend to pop in and out rather than stay with you, until you’re near the end of labour, and so aren’t providing continuous support. As it may well be that you have a shift change and end up seeing two (or more) midwives. A Doula therefore can provide that continuous support, alongside midwives.

I had a doula. The tricky thing was finding one who was un-woo, so I’m all for more un-woo doulas out there! She stayed with me right through (as she wasn’t subject to shift changes like the midwives) and knew what I wanted, and gave DH some breaks so he could get a coffee or nap in a corner without me being alone.

'Only asking as my partner (a male midwife with over 12 years experience in delivery suite) is considering becoming a doula, seems to be a lot of negativity towards the idea of a male doula'

Thomas I think he would struggle to find clients to be honest. Childbirth is a very personal thing, and most women prefer to be supported by other women. That said, if he has good reputation and excellent references he may well get word of mouth recommendations.

I'd never use a doula. The only unrelated people to me I'd want there whilst I was giving birth would be medical professionals.

Actually the thought of a doula really irritates me... I find the thought of them quite intrusive.

@formerbabe why intrusive? A Doula meets a client several times before the birth, they don’t just rock up on the day, so you would know them quite well.