Would you have your mum at your birth?

[BrollyDolly]

Just that really?
People find it weird that I don't want my mum there with me?!
Am I the only one who thinks it's abnormal to want your mum there?

Neither are abnormal.

Mum was at first.

Best friend at second.

It was amazing to have someone with me who knew what I was going through.

No, not for me. I have a great relationship with my mum but I couldn't imagine giving birth in front of her. I felt self-conscious enough with just DH!
I also didn't feel like I needed any additional support from birth partners. If anything, DH was more there for his own benefit, to see our baby's first moments. I honestly think I would be totally fine giving birth without a birth partner, I just zoned out completely.

Imo only the ones at the conception should be at the birth. .
(lighthearted)

No way.

Love her to bits and get on very well but wouldn't even have occurred to me to have her there.

I wanted my mum there when DS1 was born (I'm adopted, she's never seen childbirth and really wanted to) but there wasn't time (my parents lived an hour away) I never forgave XHs stepmum for pushing her way in when I was giving birth, my mum was devastated and I hated SMIL anyway.

I didn't have her there for DD or DS2 as she was babysitting my other kids. She died this June and that's my biggest regret, that I didn't have her there for DS1. She was an awesome grannie though, birth or not.

Hell no!!

I had my mum for no1, and dp as well, that went a bit pear shaped cos they kept arguing so I kicked mum out. Then the birth was a bit horrendous but she forgave me. For no2, I had mum all the way through and dp was looking after the first one. That went super well! She was really fab and it was so straight forward. First one was just too many cooks really. Mums can be fab, I think they are a bit less squeamish if you know what I mean?

Good lord no!

Yes and she was brilliant! Left as soon as DS was born and just helped keep dh calm!

I did, both times, and she was awesome. Particularly for first baby a really good support for DH. She had experienced home birth herself, so that was useful too.

But can understand why people wouldn't want it, you need to relax in labour and not have to think about others.

I'd have loved to have my mum there, but she's a big scaredy cat and when I asked her she looked like she was going to pass out at the mere idea!

You should pick whoever you think will be the biggest support to you, be it mum, partner or friend.

I would probably have been fine with MIL there actually. She is a carer for the elderly and very no nonsense, while managing to still be quite funny and entertaining. She would probably have been much more useful than her son was... (who, while fiddling around with the hospital phone, inadvertently gave my own mother the telephone number to my private room. That was REALLY helpful that was).

I am actually much closer to my own mother but.... Just no. She would have stressed me out beyond belief with ill-concealed worry and projected anxiety (probably while repeatedly claiming she is 'not a panicker').

I think my mum would be better than my partner.
My dad said childbirth was worse for him than my mum so I can imagine having someone who understands would be better than a man who never could.

Neverknowing My ex said that to me days after I'd given birth. If I'd had the strength to stand I may have actually throttled him!

No. I love my mum she's lovely but gets into the most massive flap about stuff so I don't think she'd cope.

Maybe you can keep her on the back burner. My DD had a failed induction and a long process. She and her DH had both been without 2 nights sleep so she called me and said would I go in for a few hours so he could nip home for a few hours for a shower and a snooze. That worked well for all concerned and I was delighted to hand back to him.

I'd rather have had a marching band and a couple of tramps. I love my Mam but she stresses me out completely!

God no.
I ended up being at the birth of my nephew. It left me traumatised.

When I had my ds my mum came up to the hospital with me and my DH and we asked if she wanted to stay as that point in time it would of been nice to have her there the way I was feeling at the time and as this was our first child I think DH would of like the support too. But my mum couldn't get out of the door quick enough she doesn't like things like that seeing it happen to someone else.
But we are close to my mum so it wouldn't off been a problem.
But the norm is not to have your mum there as it's between you and your partner but sometimes of the partner isn't around then it will be for support.

I can't remember but I remember someone wanting both sides of the family's there. I thought that is a bit too much.

Definitely not.