Would you have your mum at your birth?

[BrollyDolly]

Just that really?
People find it weird that I don't want my mum there with me?!
Am I the only one who thinks it's abnormal to want your mum there?

Everyone has their mum at their birth

No way. My mum made noises about being present, I set her straight.

She wasn't there at the conception either 😂😂

I wouldn't have my mum at the birth unless I was without my OH. Without him I think she'd be my natural second choice. Although I imagine we'd end up falling out!!

No no no! Its about me and my husband

becomming parents, a special time between us. Im close to my family but wouldnt even cross my mind and my mum would agree with the above aswell! I also had people who thought that viewpoint was weird and enhojed telling me that but its your choice!! X

No way. I love my mum to bits but she does not stop talking and would drive me mad!

Dusty
Can't you read?!

I didn't but did not dare to tell her either as she'd get very upset, luckily I went into labour at night and DS was born early hours of the morning so we didn't get in touch with anyone until after he arrived.

Im quite private though and really just wanted my DP there didn't particularly fancy anyone else in to see me pushing a baby out of my nether regions and potentially listening to my screams and seeing whatever else comes with that.
And I didn't know how my DM would be either, she'd either be great if not a bit overbearing or she'd be completely worried, panicking and anxious which would not have helped. She would've cried too that much I know and it didn't help knowing that she was thinking of having another DC around the time I fell pregnant which in turn made her decide against it (she had me young so she's only mid 40s) and I fear she would've been a bit over involved.

Pregnant with DC2 now and hoping she doesn't ask to be there considering her and DP don't talk

No. Me and my mum have a great relationship but I didn't want her there just DH. Always felt it was an important time for us as a couple. She would of if I really felt I needed her and was on stand by with my first incase DH was at work when it all kicked of, she then did child care for my other two births looking after the old kids. Plus she didn't want to be there - didn't want to see me in that pain or make DH feel like she was muscling in on his responsibility to advocate for me during labour.

No never.

My nan wanted to be there but again I didn't want family there. It was a private thing between me and my husband.

Plus my family are rubbish with me in pain. Saying things like "oh it's not that bad" and copying me breathing and moaning in a piss like way.

My nan had to drive me to the hospital and she was I didn't throttle her at one point.

My husband held my hand, rubbed my back and either stayed silent or murmured it's ok.

My nan was going "ooo,eeee,oooo" laughing and said "what's that going to do. Come on"

She also insisted on following me into the toilet before I got admitted (I was in too much pain to argue) and had to have a look where I then had my mucus plug come away

So glad I didn't have either of them in the room

Couldn't think of anything worse.

My mum was there when i had dc1. I had no partner and she was amazing. I'm sure she feels it was very special to have been there to witness dc1 being born and if I ever get pg I would like her to be there for dc2 birth

I can't think of anything worse but then we have a very difficult relationship. This entirely depends on your relationship with your own mother and whether you feel it would help you to have her there. And whether she would like to be there, of course. I don't think anyone else can really answer this for you- trust your instincts.

I did, I'm so pleased she was as if she hadn't have been stubborn and stood her ground and locked us in the hospital toilets, DS would have been born in the car

(Long story, midwife was awful)

Dh was there too and I liked having them both there

No way Jose.

Wheeled into theatre for a C-section (failure to progress) and DH said "if you have a C-section your mum will have to come and stay for a week or two".

Forceps and third degree tear later, all over.

Thanks for all your comments on this. I feel a lot better about this now and feel a bit more confident in my reasons :)

@namechange30

Have you ever seen the Stately Homes thread? You might get some good advice and support there.
I had not seen this until you said so have been very preoccupied looking on this! I actually can't believe the amount of people who have had/have a similar experience to me. Thank you so much for introducing me to this x

You're very welcome! I do point people towards it quite often - you're not as alone as you might have thought

My mum was there she invited herself and I didn't feel like hurting her feelings so let her come along. Part way through labour I told my mum and husband to shut the fuck up as I was in alot of pain and the were just sat there laughing and chatting away. I was taken away for an ecs and my mum wasn't able to come in for that part she had to stay outside and saw me for one second as I came out of theatre and was taken into recovery.

Can't think of much worse really. But then again,I'd preferred to not have anyone there.

Yes and I did with one of mine.

I don't think it's weird either way - it's a very personal decision depending entirely on your relationship with your mum - but never, never, never in my case. She's neurotic, anxious, nervous and overly prim.

DD's father isn't in the picture so my mum was there for dd's birth. It's one of the only times I've ever seen her cry.

It helped me having her there as she was very matter of fact about the whole process. She's given birth six times so I just kept telling myself that there was nothing to worry about. If she could do it, so could I.

I have 6 grandchildren born to my daughter and two daughters in law. I was present when all of my grandchildren were born.

Its usually people who dont like the idea of it who start these threads which are usually accompanied by screwed up faces smilies. I think the bottom line is if its not for you thats fine but you really do need to stop letting it bother you so much.

I didn't have my mum at any of my births, she didn't have time to get there for the first and had the other kids for the second and third. She'd never given birth (we're both adopted) and it's the biggest regret of my life. I wish she'd had that chance. It's too late now, she died last week, and I regret it massively.

Notreally, Im so sorry to read of your heartbreak. xxxxx

There's no way I would have wanted my mum at the birth of any of mine, I don't particularly think she would want to be there either! We get on well but there is no way I would feel comfortable with her there.