Would you have your mum at your birth?

[BrollyDolly]

Just that really?
People find it weird that I don't want my mum there with me?!
Am I the only one who thinks it's abnormal to want your mum there?

I did, I am really close to my Mum and knew that she'd always wanted to be at a birth, so I asked my DH if he was ok with her being their too and he was fine with it. In the labour itself I didn't really notice either of them, they were helpful in their own way during the pushing stage, the one thing I love though is my Mum can recall the whole experience filling in any gaps I have, whereas my DH wasn't as good she always talks about it which such pride, and I was really glad that I had her there. She left as soon as DD was born to give DH and I time. I totally understand why women don't want their Mum there, my friends mum irritated the crap out of her and didn't listen.

Mine was there, DH was not. I have no regrets although she did scold me for swearing at the midwife - she told me the midwife hadn't come to work to be subject to abusive language and I needed to behave better

I had DM and DH at DS's birth. DH was worse than useless so I threw him out.

When DD was due it was just ma and DM. Much better! DH looked after DS.

Nope. My mum gets into a flap very easily, plus she is squeamish and worries A LOT. She got the first phone call once babies were out and that's the first she knew about my labours at all! I think she'd have found it very difficult to wait and worry about everything that could happen knowing that I was in labour. Nobody who wasn't providing childcare was told I was in labour, for that matter. And those who had to mind a child or two were sworn to secrecy until baby was out. I didn't have the brain space to worry about people worrying about me, if that makes sense!

No way! My mum is of zero help. I chose not to have her or my MIL anywhere around the hospital for DS's birth.

It didn't occur to me to have my mum there. On reflection, much as she drives me crazy, MIL and her pathologically cool head would have been more useful
As it happened, OH was amazing, especially when it all went tits up. He hid his terror well and never left my side (and giggling at him in his surgical get up distracted me a bit)

No, absolutely not.
I wish I will have a relationship with my dds that they would be comfortable to ask me to be at their births but I wish even more that they will find a partner so supportive that there will be no need for anyone else to be there. Childbirth is an intimate thing between a couple but I also accept that in some cultures it is a women thing and that some partners rather take less active role in labour.

No. I love my mum but she would have irritated the life out of me. The only birth partner I had was DP. Mum hinted at it a week before i went into labour, but honestly I couldnt think of anything worse so politly declined.

I didn't intend to with DC2 but she came to look after DC1 while I was having a home birth. DH needed a break and some food so she reluctantly came in (doesn't like pain or people in pain , horribly squeamish about body fluids, anxious generally) to hold my hand for a bit. She ended up staying all the way to the end as I wouldn't let her go, I felt so safe when she was there. It was oddly like being a small child again, I buried my head in her lap and she stroked my head and told me that it would be ok and I believed her (when I didn't believe DH). She even survived my waters breaking on her shoes. There was a bit in both my labours when I called out for my mum, i really wanted her, it was lovely the second time when I realised that she was there. Plus I got to have someone on either side of me, each holding a hand. I wouldn't have chosen it before hand but it worked in the moment. DH really liked the extra support, he didn't feel that it was all on him to help me through.

No she is a stresshead and would scream, cry and basically make a big fuss. I would rather be alone.

I would have so loved to have my mum there when I give birth in November, unfortunately she passed away 2 years ago. Don't get me wrong my DP is lovely, but I would have felt more safe and confident with my mum by my side, she was a very strong lady who made me feel I could do anything !!

Guess it depends on the relationships people have though, we are all different

No, never, not in a million years. I love her dearly but she gets anxious and is monumentally squeamish. There would have been much wailing and flailing if she was there.

Thankfully, she didn't want to be there either, when I was pregnant with DC1 she rather nervously asked me if I wanted her there. When I said no, she looked very relieved!!

No. I wouldn't. Birth is between me and DH.

If my situation was different then I might, but I'd probably have my sibling.

The fact I didn't have my Mum with me has nothing to do with my relationship with her.
I had my DH there. For me, it was about OUR child being born and was something we were doing together. This was absolutely no slight to my mother who I love dearly.....just this was an intimate couple thing.

No way! Only dh and midwives were at my 3 births.

Completely agree @ChocolateWombat - unfortunately I'm having a hard time getting DM to understand this at the moment 😞

Hell no! Wouldn't want either mum there.. or my dad and I'm closer to him than mum or stepmum. It's a bit odd coz I mean I'd rather not have them near me trying to give me advice. Good job they live 6 hours away!

DH on the other hand is gonna be in there no matter what. Even if he doesn't want to be (he doesn't think he'd want to see me in that much pain but he's still up for coming in to let me yell at him at least)

I had my mum there for my first two but not my section. It's completely up to you who you have in the room & not weird at all that you don't want your mum there

I would if she was a nice person. I think it's comforting to have someone who's been through it too, especially if things get a bit tricky. As it was I had dh and it was a special moment for us (though apparently not special enough to stop him leaving us 6 years later) (not bitter at all)

I think my mum as lovely as she is spent around 2/3rds of the time outside the room as she could not stand to see me in so much pain bless her😁😁😁 was nice to see her face straight after though and she really helped me get used to the bf part.. good luck x

Fuck no.

She'd start telling the MW how to do her job or trying to engage me in a lengthy conversation about how women gave birth throughout history.

I love her dearly and don't want to murder her!

No! I was having contractions for hours and hours getting stronger and really painful, due to being extremely anxious they never really did anything and I stalled at 3cm dilated and needed the drip to ramp things up- because of this and the anxiety I had an epidural to calm down... we rang her to update 'WHAT YOU'RE HAVING AN EPIDURAL AT THREE CM?!!' Cheers for the support there mother... no regard for the hours and the little progress and the imminent drip!

I wouldn't have my mum there and don't know anyone who has.

But if I didn't have a partner, she's the person I'd ask to be with me.

My mum at my births? Dear God.....Absolutely no way.