help

[saka]

I discharged myself from hospital against medical advice this afternoon, as I couldnt get anyone to take my dd, who is 3.8.

I felt like I was wet down below, like I had wet myself slightly but continuously, was having regular but not strong contractions, like braxton hicks, but every 7 mins and more thn uncomfortbale.

I called friends who said they would take dd and just got asked ;are you SURE this is it, are they sure your waters have gone, have they gone complatetly - given the 4th regree, instead of we are coming and will be there to help. I felt really interrogated and as if I was being a bother.

The doctor said the contractions were regular and a 2.10 on the scale, she wasnt sure if my waters had gone, there was nothing on the test, but she said it could be a slow puncture which was intermittant, and she really wanted me to stay overnight. Ive been more than uncomfortable all day. The baby was fine on the monitor.

I ended up discharing because of lack of childcare, and came home. Im still feeling really tight, and having regular, but not excrutiating contractions. Im 35 weeks now. My legs have gone to jelly, and I really needed to stay put.

Anyway, Ive told friend who was giving me the 4th degree on how important it was that I stay in, to sod off (not feeling like being nice to people, know Im being horrible, but just feeling pretty awful physically)....and said Ill get social services to take dd for a short while. They all had mroe important things to do - oike dates, meetings, or gonig to the museum with nephew tomorrow.

I had a c sectin last time. Im just going to stay where I am, go in if the scar is sore, and if not, if I end up gushing I guess I go in, but will just call an ambulance if I feel like he is actually comign out. Ive had enough. I cant get myself to hospital again, I cant bare the thought of donig much to be honest. I just want to stay put now.

Im feeling so upset that noone cares enough to say 'you stay in if they want you to and dont worry about anyth8ing.' It does hurt. Im 2 cm dilated and I guess I just have to cope.

Sorry. I am not happy being alone right now.

Its all too much

saka

saka - they could not have realised the extent of your problem. Women often sign themselves out because of temporary childcare problems. It might have been assumed that you were able to sort your childcare problems out. Were you given an appointment to return?

Saka, just seen this and wanted to add loads of good wishes and luck for you...I wish I was close enough to help.
I hope the hospital can help with care for dd, I can only imagine how hard it is to let go and get on with looking after yourself and your baby without that being something you can rely on.
Will be thinking of you, xxx

am thinking about you too saka. Just wish i was closer to help you out. You can do this you sound like a wonderfully strong woman.

Saka, how are you doing?

The hospital didn't send you home thinking you'd not be back - they thought you were going home to sort out your childcare problems, I am willing to bet.

I hope you're there now, sweetheart.

Thinking of you x x x

Saka, I hope things have gone quiet because you are in hospital now. If not, please take advice of the other posters and take DD in to Hospital with you.

If labour is not progressing and you are at home and if you cannot face calling SS then please please call Homestart Basildon branch 01268 550 300. It is their job and their vocation to help people in situations like yours. They are NOT the same as SS but will know all the numbers to ring in your area and will know how the ground lies and can reassure you with regard to temporary care and support for your DD.

If you can't face admitting to anyone official that you are in need of help call the doula Donna and let us know if she can help. We are all so concerned about you. Please keep us in the loop so we can do what we can.

I just called an ambulance. Dd will have to come with me, and Ill have to ask the hospital to help me sort out childcare. I just cant face picking up the phone and doing anything myself.

Ive been thinking a lot, if my scar does go, then Im dead, the baby's dead and dd is without me for a lot longer than a few days.

Sorry to be morbid. I know we will be alright. I just cant handle this at home, it is getting worse, and I cant be here alone with dd for any longer. But its broken my heart.

Better go

saka

Good luck Saka. Thinking of you and your little family

well done saka. Good luck with the birth.

Please try not to worry about your dd. ss are providing me with care for my chiuldren,as my partner is banned from the home and I need respite. They provide me with a lovely childminder who has years of experience and does lovley things with the kids like baking cakes and even taking htem on a fire engine! Your dd will be absolutely fine.

Saka - if you are able please let us know your name (or part of it) so we can call the hospital and check all is well.

By the way - if other mn-etters are concerned about my last post I should mention that I have been speaking to Saka lots on another thread for the past couple of months so am not a complete stranger or nutter....I'm having my baby by CS tomorrow so can imagine a little of what she is going through.

I've been following this - and feel so helpless. Good luck saka - I am sure ss will provide your dd with excellent temporary care - or you could even take whiffy up on her offer. You'll get through this.

Sitting in Wales feeling helpless; hoping all is going well for Saka and am sure she is overwhelmed at all the fabulous support she's been offered by everyone over the last couple of days...

Saka, I hope you're in hospital. Whiffy you might want to get your phone number deleted.

good thinking WWW - have asked MN to remove and will leave a message at the hospital. Fingers crossed for Saka.

Saka, I'm also v much hoping you're in hosp, and that all is going well for you and your baby - sending you all good wishes...

So glad that you have gone in saka - you should be given the help you need.

Hello, saka has emailed me asking me to update everyone, when she has news she will call me and I will pass it on to everyone. Take care all xx

I'm so glad you're safely in Saka, and hope alls going smoothly for you and for dd....and thanks Em for updating us, will be thinking of them.

Hello all,

Saka has just called me from the hospital mid contraction! She is doing well, dd is with her and baby is doing fine. The midwife at the hospital called her friend and said in no uncertain terms that she should come and look after her dd! Much to the relief of saka. Her contractions are 10 mins apart now and going strong. She had a scan and they believe her dates are not quite right as the baby's estimated weight is around 8lbs!! She wanted me to pass on her love and thanks for everyones support, she said she would not have got through this without everyones help and is very grateful. I'll let you know more when I hear more. Take care all, em xxx

I think this is mumsnet at its finest, oooh I'm getting all emotional

I've been following this thread, and am so glad to hear that everything is safely under control now! I agree, Em, definitely Mumsnet at its best!

I'll look out for the birth announcement soon!

And thanks to you too Em, for keeping us updated.

great news
I look forward to the birth announcement.
well done for your support, Emskilou.

wow! just finished reading all the posts. am on the october thread with whiffy and saka. what a brilliant resource this is that she was able to talk to so many fab people over the last 48hours. that's wonderful that she's got a sort of local link now with emskilou. you sound like a great person emskilou, i'm glad saka is in contact with you.i hope she's progressing ok in hospital

Ahh thank you thats really sweet, just glad I could be here to help out. Forgot to mention at that point saka still had not had any pain relief, she didn't want it! She has been so unbelievably strong throughout this I was amazed! And I heard her dd in the background, she sounded like a very happy little girl which I am sure has helped saka too. Will let you know more as soon as I hear anything, take care everyone xx