!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!elective c section am i just a wimp !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dressedupnowheretogo]

im thinking of going for an elective c section my feelings towards the birth are getting more and more pulled towards petrified than excited

am i being silly or would i be better off

am worried about everyting and this issue is just adding to it

sorry for being a whinge and a wimp

please help

Oh yes! I agree with Pruni!

Mmmm yes up to a point, but "women should take responsibility for birthing their babies themselves", "Get over the fear, take responsibility for it" is only going to appeal to a certain kind of woman. And I'm thinking not one who is considering an elective caesarian because of fear of childbirth!

no it's not. It's about helping people to reach a better frame of mind. It's also about people taking control of their own fears and attides rather than saying' oh I'm scared, better have unecessary abdominal surgery then I won't have to deal with it'

I think we are agreed that the fear needs to be addressed. I just have doubts over your approach.

True, I know, I can get hot-headed about stuff like this. It just gets to me the most people have such a wooly stance when presented with this kind of situation. What did women do when elective sections for 'fear's sake' were unheard of??

They errr, gave birth?

Exactly!!

I believe that the most valid studies have shown that antenatal classes (and therefore advance preparation) have no significant outcome on perception of pain or intervention rate. This suggests that the woman's state of mind is, apparently, irrelevant.

Look, you are dipping into a Lucky Dip here and you might pull out one of a hundred different birth experiences. I'm afraid that there isn't much you can do to influence or affect what kind of birth experience you have.

No one can make this decision for you. Try not to get too obsessed by it. A hundred more magical and important things will undoubtedly happen in the hours after the baby is born than during your birth, however you do it. Good luck.

Message withdrawn

No, I'm afraid you can't win me over with reference to the good old days. In the good old days, I would probably have died (I hope the OP is no longer reading!!) and so would many women who now come through labour intact with healthy children. Thank God for modern obstetrics I say. If your earlier point about stress and labour is correct, the women you speak of probably had a much higher risk of infant and mother mortality. Hmmm....

Of course it depends how the message or messages are given claraboo. Like your message for example:

" Fear is not a reason. Get over the fear, take responsibilty for it."

Very patronising I think!

What do you think of PND? Is this also something we should be able to get over? You are entering Tom Cruise territory!

we're talking about birth preparation here aren't we?
Sure there are shi**y midwivws who just want you to pop it out so that they can go for a cuppa, but there are also fab ones.
Oh well the next time I give birth I'll try and be as pissed off and negative as I can ,I'll see if it makes a difference and I'll report back!!

Or the next time you POST, you could be really relaxed and positive, and see if THAT makes a difference?

Message withdrawn

I've had PND with the 1st 4 of my children. I've also had sections and normal births. From my point of view my attitude to each birth and how that birth came out had an affect on how severley depressed I was (or not). I have found with repeated experience that the better prepared I was the better the birth was and the easier it was to deal with PND

NO Pruni!! I chose not to read that thread!

Actually, the midwife is crucial. I was EXTREMELY anxious about my second labour, ti the point where an elective cs was suggested as a possibility, but I had a wonderful midwife during the delivery who completely reassured me that what had happened before was unlikely to happen again, and if it did, it would be dealt with, just as it was before. She was amazing.

And never once told me to "get over the fear".

C-sections are fab!! Despite many of the negative comments here, I can assure you I was up and about the next day after a long, long and traumatic labour and emergency c-section - sooner than many of the vaginal deliveries I know. And no, Claryboo, it wasn't a negative mindset that lead to the section - just a never-ending labour - I'd been to active birth classes, and felt very positive about it all...

Either way, there are potential complications and pros and cons for whichever way the baby comes out - just do what feels right for you. My caesarian was still a wonderful experience - so emotional to meet that bundle you've been carrying around all that time. I'm definitely opting for an elective second time round!!!

The only thing I'd say is try not to get too worried about it - think about meeting the baby and all the excitement it brings. Birth is such a small part of having a baby - it's the parenting that's the hard work!!!

Good luck whatever you decide and ignore some of the militant mums on this thread!!!!!

can I say that vaginal births are fab too?

no

why is that then? You can all give three cheers for sections but not for normal births. Crazy world we live in

I don't think it's militant to point out that a CS in a first pregnancy can affect subsequent pregnancies. As quoted from another thread:

"the big impact comes with subsequent pregnancies - higher incidence of antepartum stillbirth, placenta accreta, placenta pravia, uterine rupture, fertility problems, and a whole host of other things I can't remember - caused by having a CS."

a holiday in Goa is fab

If how you birth a baby is so irrrlevant to most of you would you rather someone else had the baby for you?

are you offering?