So...can anyone tell me what the pain is really like?

[Fishpond]

General terms like 'bad, terrible, god-awful' are not really memory-inducing. I'm trying to equate it with some type of pain I could relate to.

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?
What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?
Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief)
Episiotomy?
Stitches afterward?
Delivery of the placenta?
Most painful bit?

I'm bricking it a bit

I only had contractions with my first, but I was surprised that it was a glassy, brittle, icy pain (how I would describe it) nothing like my experience of period pains. It made my toes curl, was absolutely nothing like the pain I had imagined (more warm and scrunchy and period like), sorry for the silly descriptions, but it's how I visualise it. Quite glad I didn't make it to the really bad pains .

For me the contractions felt like waves of back pain and a stomach upset rolled into one. They literally rolled across my body and I felt like my stomach was parting into two.

I couldn't have an epidural in the end, as there wasn't anyone available.

Pushing was very intense, you almost resist it, it is like someone adking you to climb on a table and poo on it!

My son was 11 lbs and his shoulders got stuck, in my head the image I had was of pushing a concrete bollard out of my fanjo, i could feel him moving along every inch!

I had 14 stitches afterwards and it just felt like a stinging burning pain. The scary bit was trying to poo afterwards and not strain the stitches.

Always have drugs on the birth plan as a back up!

I haven't read the thread, I'm just going to say how it was for me.

The beginning is like a low dull backache and cramping across the lower abdomen and pelvis, as though you are going to have terrible diarrheoa, or really really bad period pains. This gradually gets worse and worse and comes in strong waves, but still feels very much like the same kind of pain you get with an upset stomach, although much worse obviously.

The baby does feel as though it is coming out of your bottom - a bit like shitting something the size of a leg of lamb, or a large oven ready chicken!

The best description I ever heard of a strong contraction was that it feels like violently throwing up, but downwards. That sensation of your whole body being wracked by a huge spasm that you cannot control. Obviously the spasms last longer and hurt bit more than vomiting though. Sorry!

The worst bit for me by far were the stitches with DS2, but that is because the midwife clearly did not numb me properly first, and I was too exhausted and naive to insist that she stopped stitching until I was properly numb. I realise now it should not have been that way, but I didn;t know any better at the time. I didn't need any stitches with DS1, and with DS3 I had a small tear but refused stitches after my previous experience, and it healed fine on its own.

Oh, and delivery of the palcenta you barely notice or care, to be honest! You are already stretched, it's much easier and less painful, and you have your baby so you are barely aware of much else!

Oh yes I agree with Fellatio I think thats the only bit of hollywood birth scenes that is accurate. You're so wrapped up looking at your new baby you don't even notice the placenta coming out. I asked to see mine because I was curious to see what it looked like. Squashed and purple as it turned out.

Everyone says that the head coming out is the hardest i always thought it would be more the shoulders thats more painfull as they are wider? Im 34w4days so just trying to get facts straight :)

I was induced and had a back to back baby which ended up in a forceps delivery, but by that time I'd had an epidural which helped immensely. The pain was like nothing I've ever experienced and I didn't cope well at all with it, but gas and air helped me a lot. Like others have said having a contraction is akin to a really bad period cramp or a vice round your stomach and I was just speechless rolling around in agony frankly. I didn't feel her crowning or the forceps as by then the epidural had kicked in. I had an episiotomy which I'm very glad I didn't feel too, plus the stitches after. My DD is 21 months and the memory does fade, but I can still recall that intense pain of the contractions if I think about it...so I don't! :) And as others have said the joy of having your baby there with you far outweighs it all. Good luck xx

Kayjay I never felt the shoulders at all. Once the head was out the rest slithered out!! Babies have tiny shoulders :) And don't forget shoulders can sort of crunch up, a skull can't

Labour pain was like intense period pain that came and went in waves. It was the same the whole way though labour, it never got any worse than period pain, the waves just got closer together. I felt a bit sick at one point - hormone related I think, not pain, as it wasn't too bad - didn't need pain relief. Labour was only 2.5 hours though form start to finish though. Never had any urge to push, just felt like I was doing a huge poo, over which I had no control - I didn't push at all, it just happened! Baby's head crowing was very stingy but only for a few seconds. I did go "ooh ooh ooh" when the head crowned but otherwise labour was an amazing and very positive experience. I felt very excited and almost enjoyed it. I had a home water birth which I think helped make my feel relaxed and calm even though I was excited too! No tears or stitches, but I did feel bruised a couple of days later for about 3-4 days. The worst pain though was the night afterwards - my internal organs rearranging themselves, terrible abdomional muscle pain, and bone pain from hips and ribs going back together etc was far, far more painful (despite massive amount of painkillers) than labour itself, made every position I lay in feel really uncomfortable and kept me awake every night for about a week afterwards!

I doubt you'll really feel the placenta - it's just a wobbly meaty-looking jelly-ish thing with no bones and no huge head!!! I had a look at mine afterwards - you could see how it works! The human body is amazing (and weird) is all i can say!!

Kayjay After the head is out the baby stops for a mo and swivels its body 90degrees so they come out vertically iyswim, like the head. They're quite clever that way.

But it's all a complete lottery, so many variables that can stop a straightforward drugfree delivery. It's all luck, which was much more understood in the olden days I think with infant and maternal mortality rates higher. Nowadays everyone thinks they can stay in control, especially first timers, but back then we would have grown up with extended families nearby, unless we were very posh we would have seen and heard women and other animals in labour, the whole thing not jus the highlighted bits on tvIt's the same with breastfeeding.

agree with stealthpolarbear and heroininahalfshell but have only had time to read first page of this thread.
Examinations if you get rough midwife are terrible - tell them so. They made me bleed massively and I hated them almost as much as actual birth.
Birth itself? Different for everyone apparently, but here's my experience (waterbirth, just gas n air):
Like worst period pains ever during later stages of contractions, never knew what transition was, don't think it was a big deal, then pushing - for me worst bit - like doing biggest worst pooh ever, and sooooo tiiiiiiiiired, I can't do this, just want it all to go awaaaay... then STINGING, ouch ouch ouch, slippery weird feeling as baby slides out, then amazing baby, burst into giggles, DH thought I had gone mad, pain instantly disappears... then slowly comes back, can't really remember placenta as too wrapped up in tiny baby, but then start to realise it is pretty sore down there (2nd degree tear) and bore having to have stitches, ouch.
Then indignity of going to loo/wash afterwards when you shuffle painfully down a corridor and into a tiny loo/shower with not enough space and a small piece of cardboard for a towel. This time (dc3) I am taking lovely fluffy towel with me, even if it does get covered with blood.
From then on it is just undignified, but tbh you don't care, because oh look, there is a baby. That I MADE. Cue total euphoria for several days!
xx

PS I was LOUD during pushing -- don't feel embarrassed about shouting, groaning etc. I'm sorry, I know it must be awful for other people on the ward, but once I stopped feeling embarrassed about the noise, somehow it got so much easier.
Oh, and I forgot, if you breastfeed you can get cramps like period pains when they suck which are really painful, but like period pains, nothing you can't handle.

PPS - don't try this if you are about to have a baby, but someone told me that if you want to make some blase man understand what it can feel like, tell them to pull out their bottom lip until it reaaaalllly hurts. Then imagine pulling that over your head!

My advice for pushing? Get gravity to help. 1st baby had to be monitored, was on my back, pushed for almost 2 hours. He had a whopping head but even still I was a bit crap at it (and off my face on morphine). 2nd baby, did 2 contractions on my back then told the MW to help me get up as I wasn't doing 2 hours again. Got on my knees and she was out in 3 mins. Pushing lying down is like trying to do a poo lying down (I imagine).

I wasn't warned about afterpains. After my first they were there, but like period pain. After my 2nd I almost cracked open the G&A that they had left for my homebirth, having not used it in birth. They were horrid. So don't feel shy to ask for pain relief afterwards even if you didn't get any before!

you know what OP..... it's like sex..... you can get all the details, look at the pictures, ask as many people as you like BUT at the end of the day it's only through DOING IT that you'll know what it's like for YOU.

And also - everyone is always so focussed on THE BIRTH that it's quite easy to overlook the bit that comes afterwards, one day you're not a mother, the next you are..... now NO ONE warned me about that bit. (I know that sounds bleedin obvious but believe me it's the biggest rollercoaster of my life).

Enjoy, believe in yourself, go easy on yourself and trust your body.
xx

lol babymutha, I was the same. I wish I had put as much research into coping with a newborn and solving breastfeeding problems as I did to labour and birth.

I can't tell you from first-hand experience (I am currently 36 weeks) but my friend told me - yes it does hurt, but not as much as stubbing your toe, and she wishes someone had told her that before. She also said that between contractions you have no pain and feel absolutely normal :) good luck xx

Janepegs- your friend may well be right for her. For me it was an awful lot worse than a stubbed toe (though less of a 'surprise' than that pain) and I'd have been quite cross if someone had reassured me in advance it wasn't! I think that the important thing to take away for any first time mum is that pain levels, pain type, and general experience vary widely, so be prepared to see how your body behaves. Good luck! I'm sure you'll be fine.

4 dcs,

1, awful back pain as he was positioned back to my back so long slow labour, forceps large tear stitches,

2 easy peasy, had worse period pains, laboured alone and liked it, just pushed the bell when felt like pushing and hubbi and midwife arrived to see him on the bed.

3 longer and more painful than 2 but ok, retained placenta though so a bit of a palava, had to go to theatre to have taken out.

4 easy peasy like 2, 4 hours and out she came.

all different and all sooooo worth it.

it does hurt of course but its a big deal being a mummy so you would expect a bit of a palava to get there.

best of luck and no u will be fine..

two4one: 'It's so bizarre the way women feel they should experience the pain of childbirth. And the way women who have drug-free births feel they've really achieved something special.'

Why is that bizarre? I wanted to experience the pain of childbirth because I believed that if I didn't, I would always wonder what it was like, and would feel as if I had missed out on something important. And I did feel I achieved something quite special having not had anything more than gas and air, because I managed to stay focused and in control through the pain. Why is that any more 'bizarre' than, say, someone who feels they've achieved something special after running a marathon or climbing a mountain? The fact that some mothers make different choices to you during childbirth, or gain a sense of achievement from it, does not make their view of it 'bizarre', nor does it mean that they view themselves as superior to those who did things differently. Take pain relief if you want it; try and go without if you think it's important; and whatever you choose, try to be respectful of the choices that other women make.

Sorry for the rant!

I actually find it quite hard to remember, but will do my best:

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction? I found that the pain was worse after my waters broke, but then much the same until transition which was worse (but not very long at all)
What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing? They were all in my belly - transition just hurt more, I don't remember crowning so it must have just run into the transition part. Pushing same again, but you have something to concentrate on, which helps distract you I think.
Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief) I didn't have one so I don't know. Friends say so.
Episiotomy? I didn't have one, but I tore and didn't notice.
Stitches afterward? I had G&A while they were doing them, again I really didn't notice.
Delivery of the placenta? I was too busy giving my baby a cuddle and didn't notice!
Most painful bit? When I thought they were going to send me home from hopsital and panicked, and then the start of transition.

The main thing to remember is that the pain itself won't kill you. Trying to run away from it will only make it worse (I spent much of my first labour hopping about from one foot to the other trying to escape my body.) You have to ride the wave with the confidence and belief that each one will stop.

Remember also the basic science (really helped in my 2nd labour):
The more oxygen you breathe in (deep breaths or g&a) the more it will reduce the adrenalin, which in turn keeps the oxytocin going. If you pant or make a lot of noise the chances are you are not getting so much oxygen, the adrenalin goes up so the pain feels more intense and the oxytocin is quite likely to drop enough to halt labour.

It's a weird pain because of the way it comes and goes - when you aren't having a contraction you feel absolutely fine. When you are having one - I can't think of anything more painful! (I've never broken a bone though - except my finger which prob isn't as painful as a bigger bone.) So as well as the fact that the contractions get more painful, it's also that they get closer together which makes it harder and harder to cope with. With DC1 I was 8cm, then had 3 hours of very intense contractions with barely a pause between them, then still 8cm - I nearly cried!! That's when I decided to have an epidural, which didn't take away the pain completely but made it much more bearable.

DC2 and DC3 were much quicker so I managed on gas and air. Having nothing at all would be quite hardcore I think!

Pushing isn't really any more painful, but I found it harder work than I expected.

Had an episiotomy with DC1, not too painful as epidural still in place. Stitches v sore afterwards - I only had 3 with DC2 and none with DC3, and I really noticed the difference in terms of recovery time.

Delivery of the placenta was a non-issue.

Having said all of that, I LOVE giving birth and would do it over and over again!