So...can anyone tell me what the pain is really like?

[Fishpond]

General terms like 'bad, terrible, god-awful' are not really memory-inducing. I'm trying to equate it with some type of pain I could relate to.

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?
What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?
Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief)
Episiotomy?
Stitches afterward?
Delivery of the placenta?
Most painful bit?

I'm bricking it a bit

I'm very luck as I've had two pretty positive births and not very long full on labour.

DD1 (8lbs) I was feeling quite positive and confident but when I got to hospital and strong contractions had kicked in and got worse and with less time to recover between each one I got really worried about how long I could go on like that. I hadn't realised the pain could be all in my back like that- it was like having a boulder inside grind against my spine/back passage! I had an epidural which was topped up regularly but allowed to wear off - I was gutted about that - for second stage so I could feel to push. The pushing stage I didn't find too bad as I knew it wouldn't be that long. It was 40 minutes but didn't seem that long. Labour proper was only about 6 hours in all. I had a second degree tear (which I never felt at the time) and lots of bruising. I sat on one of those gel packs quite a lot for a couple of days (was nice anyway with the weather being very hot) and took arnica tablets but it was only the first couple of days that I felt sore and after two weeks was right as rain.

DD2 (9lbs 2oz)- Labour was same length as for DD1 in the end but I didn't have an epidural, just gas and air and Tens machine. I'd done some yoga and had been listening to NCT birth hypnosis/ relaxation CD and I was much better this time at breathing through the pain - and just calmer as I'd done it before. Though I still asked for pethidine at one point- couldn't have it though due to being too far on in labour. Second stage this time was only a few minutes though and I had only a small tear, and there was no bruising and I don't remember any particular soreness after the birth. DD2 was born dry though and they observed us for 12 hours to make sure there was no infection. No idea when the waters went!

contractions hurt most in my lower back - could only take pain if my husband rubbed my back really hard and applied pressure there - the back pain was the worst for me - you could have wiped the floor with me...

Somebody said to me, it feels like you're being split in 2 (the actual crowning bit) and I found that difficult to imagine, but it was an accurate description. BUT mercifully the actual unbearable part (your baby's head ripping its way out of you) is over quickly. Sorry to be so graphic but you did ask!

I should add, I did the 2nd birth completely au natural, not even a paracetemol, so I got to experience the full technicolour agony of childbirth. But as I said, it was quick.

Also worth mentioning that I also had quite a bit of pain when they delivered the placenta, but that was because I had lots of tears (as in rips, not as in liquid coming from my eyes, altho I did have those too). And the stitching up also was quite painful. I am starting to sound like a woos, aren't I. The stitching took an hour, that's why I really remember it. I felt completely pain free within 12 hours of the birth though, which given I had 20-30 stitches, was quite something.

Honestly? I really didn't feel a great deal of pain. I had a two day labour with DD and used hypnobirthing for the first two days followed by TENs machine (which was awesome (I went to sleep with contractions 3 mins apart), then gas and air and birthing pool-all at home.

Finally after a failure to proceed and being all round pretty knackered, epidural and c-section.

Hypnobirthing was fantastic, I'd recommend it to anyone. I would have done it all again a few days later if I could have done-just he thought of welcoming another beautiful baby into the world was wonderful.

I found that initially, the contractions just felt like very severe period cramps/back pain which did become more intense until they took my breath away. I had G&A and a birthing pool for pain relief. I found that the latter part was hard because my body was straining and pushing even though mentally I knew I wasn't ready - odd sensation and it does feel like you need a poo.

Put two fingers in the corners of your mouth and pull (so you resemble a frog) that is how my vajayjay felt when crowning and it smarts!

I was numbed for an episiotomy, but had the urge to push and delivered without one and ended up with a second degree tear instead.

Delivery of placenta didn't hurt for me personally.

I didn't even notice the majority of my stitches (too loved up with my baby lol) but I did find that near the end of that process I felt tender and swollen and again it smarts (i.e. made me suck air in through my teeth)

Most painful part is wanting to push when your body physically isn't ready to.

I found that having a really good understanding of why there is pain, i felt more able mentally to cope with it. Also eat a lot of sugary snacks to give you energy (Jaffa Cakes were amazing) and make sure you drink lots of water, labour is knackering!

What is the pain like? Survivable.

I would recommend perineal massage to avoid tearing, and thus hopefully you avoid tearing and stitching.

First one had an epidural which they let wear off for the last two hours. I went from no pain to having a football in my fanjo. Very shocking and painful. 8 years ago and I won't ever forget it.

Second one I wasn't sure I was in labour as I had remembered the pains as much stronger, had DD standing up within 4 mins of arriving at hospital - not much pain at all.

I vividly remember the happy hormones after with DD. I was on a massive high for hours!

My labour was a drip-induced one, so not representative of what a "natural" labour feels like (at least I hope not!) My contractions (which went from just a few Braxton-Hicks type tightenings to full-on monsters within about 15 minutes) felt like someone had shoved their hand up my vagina and was trying to drag my abdominal contents out the same route. (Sorry, but you did ask! Almost certainly not helped by the fact I was not permitted to get up from the bed, or even lie on my side, due to the need for monitoring.) After a couple of hours I whimpered for an epidural and spent the rest of the labour asleep in blissful numbness.

I freely admit that I am a lily-livered wuss, though! And with any luck, I'm going to do it all again in 6 months, so it hasn't put me off...

Well we lived about 10min walk from the hospital, so I didn't see why I wouldn't be able to just walk in. Ha, ha! Could barely get down the stairs at home, the taxi ride was very uncomfortable with all the bumping, and when we arrived they got me a wheelchair to get to the ward. And then they said I was only 2cm dilated . Got worse from there.

But hey, I'm still here, and in one piece .

It's worth remembering it's very different for everyone! I had a drip-induced labour too but it was reasonable, very much like intense period pains (but if you can imagine it being across every fibre of your being rather than just the usual). I remember really feeling that I just had to hang on, hang on, hang on.. but I didn't do second stage without epidural so I can't comment on that. I think I got to 5-6cms, had been in latent labour for a week or so, baby was largeish (8lbs 14), back to back and born dry yet I don't relate to a lot of the stories of agony I read.

I read somewhere once that's because it's all about the relationship of the baby's head size to your interior pelvic rim so we were probably just a good match for eachother despite the malpositioning etc. I don't believe it's really about pain thresholds though I do think staying calm and being prepared for it helps.

I can't recommend Juju Sundin's Birth Skills book enough. What I most remember from labour is focusing on a stress ball as though it were the only thing on the planet. I can still see the fibres. The pain still ratcheted up but that stress ball kept me sane (and my good luck, perhaps, to just not feel agony).

I also should say that even back to back doesn't hurt for everyone in the same way... I have always had a bad back, the whole of my lumbar region is misshapen so I have had issues since I was about 13/14 yet I had no back pain. Ds remained back to back so was removed by rotational (Kielland's) forceps. I ended up with quite bad back pain afterwards but I am glad I took the epidural when I did because I think, given that I was being constantly monitored and on a drip, the chances of rotation without me being more active might have been slim... but who knows, eh?

what's it like..

I've had three different labours. one, with long, rolling pain down my back. one with stabbing pain in the belly. One with strong-eriod like cramps where it stopped hurting at all once the pushing stage began.

although i sometimes think they wre pretty much the same, the only labour i spent time wishing fervently to pass out in was my first. I didn't though.

First time round with DS it was just period-type pains, increasing in pressure but certainly not unbearable at any point. They only got really really painful for the final two big pushes. G&A helped me focus and was all I needed for the delivery and epesiotomy.

The pain when my stitches gaped a couple of days afterwards was bloody excruciating though (tip: if you have an epesiotomy, DON'T traipse around the shops for two hours 48 hours after giving birth. Sit still and do as little as poss).

Second time couldn't have been more different and the pain once I got into the second phase was absolutely unbelievable. It was all-consuming and felt like I was being kicked by an elephant from the inside. I completely lost control and I screamed and swore. A lot. And demanded an epidural and forceps to "just get the bastard thing out of me." Apparently DD moved incredibly rapidly down the birth canal and didn't give my body a chance to catch up with her, as a result her heart beat dropped right off and the emergency team were called and were just about to give me a CS when she picked up.

I agree with working that preparedness and calm help; DD was supposed to be a home water birth and I was totally unprepared for it to get as out of hand and scary as it did. I also wasn't expecting my second to be so much worse than my first; don't believe everyone when they tell you that the second one just pops right out of you!

Oh yeah, and like SantaffetaClause said, the 'high' afterwards is just amazing. I have never experienced anything quite like it apart from after giving birth. It is the most lovely, warm and happy feeling in the world and I am welling up a bit thinking about it.

Surviveable is definitely the right word. You know it will be over (eventually). I think letting your body take over is quite important (I'm quite glad I was quite ignorant about the whole process, Trying to do breathing techniques and the like would have stressed me out).

I'd say the pain gets just to the point where you could not take it anymore without passing out, so it's at the very high end of bearable and surviveable.

I personally found having an abscess in my ear more painful than labour as it was relentless.

It. Fucking. Knacks.

But you forget about it eventually. Although I did want to marry the anaesthetist who did my spinal block before my second section - after a mere 8 hours of contractions.

contractions horrid, pushing was ace, didnt feel 3rd deg tear/episiotomy/ further surgery for retained placenta. was smiling too much.

you'll be just fine.

Fishpond
You must be even more nervous after reading this thread!!!

Personally, I had two labours and births without any pain relief at all.
In both cases, it hurt. Hurt a lot, but was bearable.
It felt like extreme period pains that increased into severe cramps.
The birth themselves are a bit of blur to be honest.

What you must remember is that it's different from other types of pain because it's not an injury or illness, it's for a good reason. You know why you are in pain and you also know that it will end soon. That is reassuring and helps you to get through it. It is bearable.

I will never forget what my labour pains were like! I don't get the idea that you magically 'forget' the pain in a way that's different to any other painful experience you go through. After all, if I try and remember what it was like to have an abscess, I can't summon up the exact experience so I'm rolling about in agony just from the memory but I absolutely remember what I went through!

For me it's been the same with childbirth and after the second time, I really think I deserve a blinking medal for first time round. However, I did volunteer to do it again after DC1(and I would have a third in a heartbeat!) so it obviously didn't put me off, though it was more the thought that it's half a day of pain (not bad for a first timer, I know!) for an amazing end result.

First labour was all in my back and I was 7cm dilated in less than 2 hours from my first contraction so it was rather like being hit by a bus.It was pretty intense and quite frankly I felt like I was being electrocuted up my spine - the base of my skull was shuddering with each contraction. However...on a scale of 1-10 where 10 is 'please shoot me' I reckoned I was only 8.5 or 9, it never got to the point I couldn't cope with it. Had paracetamol, G&A and was in the pool.

Second stage not so great, 3 hours of pushing before I was given a spinal block for forceps but you are pushing into the pain which helps counteract it to some extent. Was delighted to see the anaethetist though....!

With DC2, it was totally different. I was only 32 weeks pregnant and had what I thought was just a bad stomach bug for 48 hours . Realised my waters were leaking so went in to get checked, was on a monitor and dozing less than 2 hours before DC2 made his appearance. I was giving it "I'm not in labour, this is not nearly sore enough for labour" to the midwives (turned out I was 6cm by this point!).

I was refusing G&A as I thought it was going to be a long night and I didn't want to start on it too soon....then the pain ramped right up. 20 minutes, lots of G&A and DC2 was out.

Though crowning was a surprise to me (anaesthetic/forceps previously)and I suddenly thought "OMG I'm at 11! I'm at 11! ELEVEN!!!!!!" (using previous pain scale of 1-10).Not helped by midwife saying "that's NOW the head" and I was thinking she'd said "that's NOT the head" and which sent me into a total panic as I was thinking I couldn't take 3 hours of that much pain. DH says my face was a picture - felt like either my undercarriage or my eyeballs would burst and wasn't sure which would go first!

I really believe there is no such thing as different pain thresholds, but there are different types of pain. Be open minded on the day, worrying about it before will not reduce the pain at the time.

I did want to marry the anaesthetist...

Yup - I remember that feeling!

For me it was pain like no other and although I can describe the sensations, the level of pain was off the scale at some points.

It surprised me that each of my three labours felt very different and I now know what people mean when they say that everyone's experience is different.

1st was very like period pains, starting in my back & working their way round to the front. Becoming very painful until the pushing stage when I barely felt them. No ring of fire as I had a local anaesthetic for episiotomy. Didn't feel stitches either.

2nd felt completely different - pains deep inside and low down, more intense and progressed much quicker until I thought I couldn't bear it any more - then I felt the urge to push and pain went. Felt the ring of fire on crowning though . Tore a bit and that hurt too! Local for stitches so they were fine. I remember the details of this birth most as I really enjoyed it and felt exhilarated when it was over - I felt as though I could have done it all again!

3rd was a bit of both but back to back so more painful than second but not as bad as first. With help of midwife, I 'breathed baby out' and only needed one stitch. No ring of fire with this one.

It's a very good idea to prepare yourself - I found breathing exercises really helped during early labour and only needed pain relief (no epidurals) after about 7cm. The relief when it's all over is indescribable and I felt so empowered by the whole experience - I also felt huge respect for all mums everywhere. The only downside was that I felt sad about the conspiracy of silence there seems to be around the reality of pain in labour - the posts on this thread are wonderful in their honesty. Your labour and birth will be unique OP - please come back and tell us all about it

It does hurt but it wasn't as bad as I expected it to be, I mean it does get bad but the really bad bit doesn't last for that long. I found that when I got to the point where I thought ''I can't cope with it any worse than this'' it didn't get any worse.
I was in labour for 23 hours which sounds like a long time but the first 17 hours of that were like period pains, which then got like bad period pains. The pain got worse once I got to hospital 6 hours before birth, I think the stress of the hospital actually increased the pain (all to do with hormones and chemicals in your blood).
So my tip is to stay relaxed and stay at home as long as you can.
Lots of things help the pain at the beginning, going for a walk, a relaxing bath, swivel on a birthing ball, TENs machine, aromatherapy, relaxation and breathing techniques.
I only had gas & air when I got to hospital and then got in the pool to push which was amazing (although a lot of people don't like it).
I loved giving birth, it's the most amazing thing you will ever experience. Yes it will hurt like hell but the worst bit is the not knowing how long it will last and how much it will hurt.
I found going to guided birth classes and watching birthing videos on youtube really helped me so I knew what to expect.

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction? For me, no. Both times I had a long 'false' labour that turned real and some hours were easier than others. In fact, the last couple of hours of both were probably better than some of the middle hours. probably because I knew I was 'winning'.
What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing? Contractions are like getting BIG cramp in your leg but in your tummy. The pain is kind of passing by the time you're thinking it's hell. Of course there's another round the corner. Transition for me was a not too painful time (contractions slowed) but a total 'freak out' "I can't do it", "I don't really want a child" time. Pushing was like feeling a giant poo coming down my fanny. Crowning was somewhere between agony and being on fire. BUt it's localised and over quite quick.

Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief) Never had one so can't comment. But pain relief free birth is possible - I did it with DD and it was fine. Better than with the drugs IME.
Episiotomy? Never needed.
Stitches afterward? nope, only grazes
Delivery of the placenta? Not really worth worrying about after you've just popped a baby out. You won't much care. VERY odd sensation of something flopping out your fanjo though!
Most painful bit? Crowning for sure. But by that point you're pretty much done.

My best advice would be to not be scared and just let it happen. Being relaxed is good pain relief. What I think surprised most of my friends, was the pressure rather than the pain. Of course we all know it's sore, but the pressure is immense and can shock. You know when you have a D&V bug and your body just takes over and nothing you can do fights it? I'd liken it to that. Your body just does it's stuff and you have to go with the flow, no point fighting it. I suppose contractions are also a bit like vomiting - body takes over, body is forceful, it's horrible, but you also feel great relief when a bout is over even though you know there will probably be another bout soon.

When I was crowning/pushing I felt pathetic saying ''it stings'' but it really does just bloody sting!
For me the transition phase was the worst, I also got the feelings of ''i've changed my mind I don't want a baby anymore'' and ''will you just do it for me'' and ''i'm going home!''
It's quite funny looking back lol