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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

So...can anyone tell me what the pain is really like?

226 replies

Fishpond · 08/12/2011 02:45

General terms like 'bad, terrible, god-awful' are not really memory-inducing. I'm trying to equate it with some type of pain I could relate to.

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?
What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?
Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief)
Episiotomy?
Stitches afterward?
Delivery of the placenta?
Most painful bit?

I'm bricking it a bit Confused

OP posts:
FunkyChicken · 09/12/2011 23:43

I've had two big babies - no pain relief except gas and air. Early stages - period cramps but worse. Later stages - can't compare to anyhting else I've experienced but it was incredibly painful of course. BUT it was bearable and I knew it meant my body was doing what it has been made to do and focused on the fact the pain meant my muscles were pushing my babies out. The fact its supposed to hurt helped me (if that makes sense!). The last bit when the baby came out felt like a burning sensation and also hurt but in a very different way to contractions. The joyful relief when the baby finally flops out is ALSO indescribable and can't compare to relief for anything else in life. It is worth it. Very best of luck!

lockets · 10/12/2011 00:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgnesBligg · 10/12/2011 00:20

I can't remember anything about it except at the time it was quite hurty. You will find yourself discussing every detail with other mums of newborns for a little while I expect.

I've had one with an epidural, and one with gas and air only. On reflection I would always go with the epidural but that's just me.

sleepywombat · 10/12/2011 04:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TruthSweet · 10/12/2011 09:21

DD1:
4 day induction ending in Syntocinon drip. Felt like someone had poured petrol on my stomach and set me alight even with umpteen epidurals. Eventually went numb from the chest down and DD1 was delivered by ventouse. Transition involved vomiting and me insisting on going home. No episiotomy as I have a 'thing' about them so refused the registrar doing one before the ventouse. I didn't tear (just skid marks) so it was a good job she didn't cut me as it wasn't necessary at all. DD1 was born at 38w and was 7lb 12oz.

DD2:
Have had worse periods. Most contractions just felt like pressure travelling round from my back to the front of my pelvis. Only one contraction that hurt and that was because I was flat on my back while the MW tried to examine me during the contraction. My lovely doula reminded the MW that I had specifically said no exam during contractions so she stopped.

Transistion involved me shrieking 'I'm going to have diarrhea' and scuttling off to the downstairs cloakroom (was homebirth). DH followed me and I ranted about people wanting me to perform and watching me. The MW was listening outside the door and got me off the toilet before DD2 was born. DD2 was born after 4mins of pushing and 3 mins of g&a. No tears or episiotomy (just skid marks again). DD2 was born at 39wks and 7lb 6oz.

DD3:
3 weeks of pro-dromal labour before going into established labour. Still none were really painful I was just aware of the pressure though some were uncomfortable. DD3 was born in hospital as I had mec. in the waters so we transferred in. DD3 was born in 17 mins as I knew she had a big head so I controlled the pushing stage to avoid tearing. There was no tearing just the usual skid marks. DD3 was born at 39wks and was 8lb 10oz.

All in all I'd have a baby again over many other illnesses/physical conditions. For me childbirth (non-induced that is!) is a 4, ovarian cysts popping is a 7 and pancreatitis/passing gall stones is a 10 on the pain scale. I have had periods that would rate a 6 on that scale so definitely prefer childbirth to periods (cb is shorter for a start - have had 35 day long periods before). I found that the more upright and active I was the less pain/discomfort I was in. If I tried to lay down they hurt, if I walked, danced, hands and knees crawled (never did that outside thoughWink), or bounced/rocked/swayed on my ball it was fine and manageable.

Microtufts · 10/12/2011 09:52

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?
Yes, the contractions get gradually more painful. Having said that, my impression is that they are not as bad as I had feared. I'm not just saying that because the memory is fading: when I was in labour with my first child, I remember telling myself to pace myself because things were going to get a lot more painful and I needed to be able to handle it. As it turned out, that was about as bad as it got. Even so, the later contractions with my second child were a lot more painful than those with my first child, so I guess the pain can vary not just from woman to woman but also from labour to labour.

What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?
Contractions: difficult to do justice to it really, but you know when you get a very painful cramp in your calf? It's a bit like that, but over a larger area. One thing I found helpful to remember is that a contraction gradually builds and then gradually subsides. The really painful bit only lasts for about 20 seconds or so, and I found it hugely helpful to count through it.
Transition: not sure I can actually identify this stage, but it's not a pain as such, more a sense of starting to panic. But as soon as I started to panic, I started pushing the baby out, so it didn't last long! Once you hit this stage, you're almost there.
Crowning: I honestly can't remember. I guess it must have been painful, but at that stage there is too much else going on to notice!
Pushing: as I remember it, there are two types of pushing. There are the pushes that your body gives involuntarily, and the pushing that the midwife tells you to do. Both are pretty horrible, but I think painful is the wrong word to describe why they're horrible. The involuntary pushes are horrible in the sense that being violently sick is horrible: your body is doing something quite weird and dramatic and you don't have much control, so it's scary. The pushing that you have to do when the midwife tells you is horrible because it's exhausting, and there is a also a psychological hurdle to overcome: you know you're going to do yourself a mischief by pushing that hard to get something far too big out of a relatively small hole, but you know you have to do it anyway! The only good thing is that there is not so much of the latter type of pushing with the second child. My second one came out in two contractions, compared to 45 minutes of pushing with the first.

Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief)
I didn't have one, so I don't know.

Episiotomy?
I had one with my first child. I really wanted to avoid one, but as it turned out it wasn't that bad - they cut you when you are mid-contraction, and I honestly didn't feel it. With the second child I wasn't that worried about having one, although as it turned out, I didn't.

Stitches afterward?
I had stitches after both of mine. It helped that they let me use the entonox while they were doing them, otherwise I'd have found it a bit of a trial. If you're having an epidural you won't feel them anyway.

Delivery of the placenta?
Don't worry about this bit, it's fine.

Most painful bit?
The most painful bit was probably the last few contractions before the baby came out. However, by far the worst bit was pushing the baby out - although, as I said, this isn't painful as such.

Good luck!

Mum2be79 · 10/12/2011 10:27

My concern is more about the transitional stage and the thought of tearing.

Broke my toe on Thursday night - that pain led to me doing 'involuntary' breathing exercises which then made me laugh when I realised what I was doing.

I haven't read everyone's comments (182!!) but someone on the first page mentioned a broken arm was worse. That in some way is comforting. Hmm

I have had colitis before - pains came every 7 minutes - is it anything like that? I was hospitalised with it for a week. I did end up leaning over the arm of the settee when I got a pain and funnily enough I am 'leaning' more towards that birth position when researching birthing positions.

3 weeks to go until D-day for me!

RalphTheRedNosedGnu · 10/12/2011 11:56

I found the contractions were far worse than the delivery, but I coped far better than I expected. I had gas and air and an epidural (which failed) so felt the whole thing.

I remember getting the urge to push and being surprised to find it a little bit pleasurable to give in - my muscles took over and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I looked at the midwife and said "Ooh this actually feels quite nice!"
She gently told me to shut up and get on with it!

RalphTheRedNosedGnu · 10/12/2011 12:01

Sorry, didn't really answer the question there:

Contractions...indescribable really, it started off like period pain and then felt like nothing I'd felt before.

Transitional period was very exciting to me, and scary.

Birth...pushed for 5 mins, DS was tiny so I didn't tear, just had a bit of a graze.

Placenta...felt quite nice after pushing out a hard baby, but don't remember much about it.

I have all this to come again in 6 months and hope I'm as lucky again to have such an easy uncomplicated birth. Good luck to you OP!

duchesse · 10/12/2011 16:09

For me it was like this:

It's like being cut adrift in a coracle on a stormy sea with no help. You are the pain, the pain owns you. Your choice is either to accept it or not. It's easier to accept it and expend your energy remembering why it's happening, rather than fight it.

The pain for me was never from the contractions but from the cervix dilating. As such it hurt pretty much throughout, far worse than the worst period pain I've ever had, and stopped the instant the baby was born. Afterpains were negligeable. I understand that everyone does not feel it like this- everybody is wired up differently.

duchesse · 10/12/2011 16:10

PS: I have broken my ankle, quite badly (required surgery) and the only part of the pain involved in that that even compared to childbirth for me was the 5 minutes as I woke up from surgery but before they gave me the morphine. Breaking it was relatively painless compared to birthing the babies.

RetroMuff · 10/12/2011 17:25

Good description of the stormy sea duchesse - I was amazed I lay still during some of my contractions (hospital at that time didn't encourage moving about Hmm)

silentcatastrophe · 10/12/2011 17:32

I found the experience terrifying. To be stuck in a shower with no-one but dh in excruciating agony was horrible. Childbirth is unlike anything else.

SilkStalkings · 10/12/2011 18:10

First time, in back labour with some teror: Like being stamped on by a giant or being crushed in a great big vice around your lower torso.

2nd time, with a couple of years of yoga under my belt: still a big vice but manageable.

SilkStalkings · 10/12/2011 18:12

First time, in (unexpected) terror: Like being stamped on by a giant or crushed around the lower torso in a giant vice.

Second time, with 2yrs of yoga under my belt: Still vicelike but manageable due to the knowledge that it was physically possible to survive it.

TrollopDollop · 10/12/2011 19:44

I have given birth twice and from what I remmeber its been totally different each time. First time was OKto start with but suddenly turned up a few notches and was in all honesty totally overwhelming. I felt pain allover and was being sick. I had an epidural and the rest was bliss. The epidural was turned off towards the end but I don't remember specific pain for the delivery itself (although quite a long time ago now).Second time was super fast (20 minutes of regular contractions) up until then I hadn't even noticed I was having regular contractions. It was only when I thought about it I realised a pattern was forming - by then a few minutes apart.I only had about 10 min of acute pain which felt like I was being squeezed really tightly and only had time for a few swigs of g&a. I know I was shouting and panicking but it didn't feel like me.I felt like I was watching someone else go through it.It's an odd thing but both times I went off into a different world where I was able to deal with it. I remember quizzing friends about what it would be like beforehand and wondering how I would cope but on the day I just got on with it with reserves I never knew existed.

babymutha · 10/12/2011 21:50

found it helpful to think of contraction as energy (massive amounts of it) rather than 'pain' as such.
Breaking my leg was definitely PAIN.
Giving birth was more like running a marathon up a pretty steep hill (exhausting, exhilarating, great when you get to top)
Afterwards, there was PAIN and I felt like my delicate and special lady areas had done 10 rounds with Tyson and LOST.
sorry - that's not specific at all is it.....

33goingon64 · 10/12/2011 21:53

For me, contractions were like very bad period pain. First few were like normal period pain, then they got more painful very quickly. It's not a sharp pain but a muscular pain. It does take your breath away and that's why it's so good to learn how to breathe through it. I found by gripping on to a chair or bed and breathing out twice as long as I breathed in, it made it manageable. It doesn't stop the pain but makes you feel in control. I honestly felt absolutely fine between contractions. I remember saying what a relief it was when the contraction stopped, I felt almost high.

I was lucky that my contractions were not that long, maybe less than 30 seconds. Also my labour was relatively short for a first baby (6 hours) so didn't reach that exhaustion stage. I had pethidine which I must say was ideal for me, but if you want the epidural, don't be afraid to say yes.

I didn't experience transition, or at least I wasn't aware if it. I was just told to start pushing. The contractions become more intense and I can honestly say that my body just knew what to do. It was almost a bit like an orgasm in that it swept over my whole body and I found myself gripping the bed head behind me. The head coming out - well, that bit is painful in the 'ow' sense. My NCT teacher said imagine pulling the sides of your mouth apart with your fingers... It's like that. But it's over so quickly you barely have chance to say ow and it's gone. Then you relax and wait for the next contraction. You might be invited to reach down and touch the head - do it, it was the best part of the whole thing for me. Then it's another 'ow' moment which is over instantly and the baby is in your arms.

Being injected with anaesthetic for the stitches was painful and it's not very dignified but you just have to grit your teeth and think about your wonderful baby.

The worst part of the whole thing for me was the week after the birth when the tears and grazes were healing. It hurt to walk, bend, get in our out of bed. But it does get better.

You can prepare all you like but I would say chances are you will just know instinctively what to do and you will be fine!!

Callipo · 10/12/2011 22:39

Hypnobirthing would be the key! Learning to focus through the pain. Its like roaring your power through the world - a massive rush. A huge high. I loved it every time and am gutted that I may well never do it again.

Ripeberry · 10/12/2011 22:43

It's painful, but a 'good' pain, is the only way I can describe it. Much better than long term back pain or a broken leg. It's just like a very bad bout of painful periods. You do forget about it, just listen to your body and let it guide you.

Diamondback · 10/12/2011 23:21

From what I can tell, it's different for everyone - we all have different bodies!

For some women, they find the pain unpleasant, but not more than they can handle.

Personally, I had an induced labour, was in more pain than I could handle and was very grateful for my effective epidural, which really did take all the pain away.

So don't feel as though your labour and your experience should be like anyone elses. If you manage the pain with breathing and a hypnotherapy CD, you're very lucky and good on you. If you feel you need pain relief, don't be backward in coming forward.

Best of luck and I hope it all goes swimmingly for you!

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 10/12/2011 23:35

Contractions are like strong period pains (or a miscarriage if you've ever had one) which get gradually stronger and stronger. BUT the relief between the contractions is so wonderful it makes up for the pain.

Pushing is like needing push an awkward poo. I would say go with it and relax into it. I think your natural instinct (except when giving birth) is not to publicly push but here if you go with it the pain will be less. I did this with my second more than with my first and it did make like easier. So try not to be self conscious.

Crowing is painful but is only a short time and then there is a real rush as the rest of the baby emerges but again that is not exactly painful either.

Good luck for the big day!

two4one · 11/12/2011 00:26

It's so bizarre the way women feel they should experience the pain of childbirth. And the way women who have drug-free births feel they've really achieved something special. They were lucky, you might not be.

OP, have an epidural and be done with it. Enjoy your pregnancy and stop stressing about how bad the birth will be.

For me, it was the most unutterably horrendous thing in the world. I was traumatised for weeks and felt physically sick at the thought of every having to do it again. I was terrified by how much it hurt and how revolting the entire experience was, how vulnerable I felt, how powerless. And how conned I felt by all the hypnobirthing bollocks and squeeze the tennis ball crap. Those things work for women who are having easy births. They then tell you it will work for you too and that it's all about positive thinking.

No it's not. It's about the size of your pelvis, the size of your baby, how the little darling chooses to come out and how your insides decide to manage the event. You and your brain and your motivational mantras have very little to do with it.

Last thought: one of the big bonuses of an epidural is that you won't feel the stitching up being done. Friends who've had drug-free births have said the stitching was agony and worse than the delivery.

two4one · 11/12/2011 00:29

I should add that I had an epidural at 8cm after 24 hours of labour during which I didn't take so much as a paracetamol. I feel I had the full experience. It was rubbish and not empowering in the slightest.

heroinahalfshell · 11/12/2011 00:33

"And the way women who have drug-free births feel they've really achieved something special"

I had a drug-free birth and feel exactly that way. It was phenomenal.

Definitely an epidural next time though Grin