So...can anyone tell me what the pain is really like?

[Fishpond]

General terms like 'bad, terrible, god-awful' are not really memory-inducing. I'm trying to equate it with some type of pain I could relate to.

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?
What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?
Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief)
Episiotomy?
Stitches afterward?
Delivery of the placenta?
Most painful bit?

I'm bricking it a bit

I was induced (pessary and drip) for the birth of my DD eight months ago so bear in mind women who go into labour naturally may not have exactly the same experience.
Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?
Yes, in my experience the pain increased every hour or so. Some people say pain with induction is worse than natural labour pain.
What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?
I can't answer this as I had an epidural after 5 hours
Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief)
The epidural got rid of nearly all the pain for me - there was a weird area of pain left at the side of my tummy but it was nothing to compare to the pain before I had the epidural so yes, the epidural was BRILLIANT! I also had no problems pushing the baby out so it is not true that you can't push the baby out as well with an epidural. I did try gas and air but it didn't help much. Didn't have pethadine.
Episiotomy?
Don't know, didn't have one.
Stitches afterward?
Yes, I had what the midwife called 2nd degree tears. But I healed up well and it hurt for about two/three weeks after giving birth but after that I felt completely back to normal.
Delivery of the placenta?
Didn't notice it had had epidural.
Most painful bit?
Before the epidural :)

Had both dc by emcs so have never done the pushing, but was 8 cm dilated with ds and ten with dd.

Ds, contractions crampy, like strong period pains, but nothing a warm bath couldn't deal with.

Dd, back to back contractions, like no pain imaginable, could bared breath, had to crawl to loo.

Think I am trying to say that every labour is different, even for same mother.

This thread is just amazing - much gratitude for being so open and sharing! It seems such an unknown entity, it's easy to be afraid when you don't know what to expect.

My husband and I are going to start TTC come the new year and I'm massively into the idea of focussing on positive thoughts as in, each contraction is bringing my baby closer to me etc.

But. I am utterly, irrationally, terribly squeamish about two things: I have a real hangup about skin (I can't even type it properly but torture-type things to do with being skinned (arrrgghhh that word!) and so the thought of my belly skin stretching kind of worries me. And the other thing is the last bit in labour - the "ring of fire"? The burning, stinging crowning bit. I don't know why I'm so worried about it. I can visualise myself getting all primal and game-face-on during the contractions and my husband has promised to be the best corner man ever (big of an in-joke between us to do with martial arts) by keeping me focused and making me laugh - we both really believe in the power of laughter etc.

But just that burning, stinging bit makes it a bit negative for me.

Human re the crowning bit.

Squeeze your eyes shut, grit your teeth and keep telling yourself your baby will be here is a matter of seconds if you push through the pain and it will all be over. Yes it hurts but it wasnt as bad as I thought it would be.

With both DCs most of my labour was felt like strong cramps in my abdomen, all my muscles tensed at once. It was like a mountain, building up to a peak when it all became almost unbearable and then going back down again. Half of me wanted to panic but the other half was excited and calmed me down, kept me in control. TENs helped and I walked and walked with DH. For me the contractions only increased slowly in intensity until transition but it was manageable using TENs and hypnobirthing techniques.

Transition was the point where I lost control for a while, I was very tired and just wanted it over. With DS he turned in my pelvis and the pain was very intense, but once I started pushing all the pain disappeared. With both DCs my pushing stage was short and painless, its recorded at about 5 minutes, but it was longer with DS as I went into a trance and let my body breathe him out and the midwives didn't realise -I had to call them over when his head was about to emerge.

I didn't have crowning pain with either child. With DD the midwives made me hold on at 10cm and when they finally let me push she shot out like a cork. With DS there was nothing, but I was deep in a trance at that point. I vaguely remember having an extra contraction for the placenta but by that point I was so high on endorphins and besotted with the baby that I didn't really pay much attention.

I had a second degree tear with DD and a first with DS. Bit stingy at first but mostly I only noticed it when I was getting up and sitting down. After 5 days with DD and 8 with DS I had the midwives check the stitches for good healing and then had the stitches removed. I found that they were pulling slightly as I moved and reopening a little, once I had them removed any pain went away and they healed well. I hobbled to the doctors and literally skipped home .

Most painful bits were:

DD-being made to hold on and not push as there wasn't a midwife available.
DS-the pelvic pain at transition.

I have had three children and when I was in labour with the third, as the pain intensified, I cried silent tears as I remembered the awfulness of the pain that was still to come and the realisation that there was no way back!

However as others have said, that element of the pain does stop instantly. For me almost the worst part was the pain in my hips / joints from having my legs yanked apart and put in stirrups - I still shudder at this and it meant that walking / moving for the next 24 - 36 hours were particularly painful. I also had stitches and that was fairly uncomfortable but I did find getting high on G&A was something of a consolation!

Good luck!

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?
Yes, the pain increase, but your ability to deal with the pain also decreases because you're so bloody exhausted, especially if its a long labour.

DC1 - Labour took so long to get properly going after about 5 hours I asked for gas and air. The relief after this was amazing, and I managed to sleep slightly in between my contractions. (I had very unusual contractions, as each contraction lasted between 7 - 10 minutes, and the gap between them simply wasn't enough to allow my body any rest), had to have my waters broken, because it wasn't going anywhere. When I simply couldn't cope anymore and asked for an epidural it took another 3 1/2 hours before they gave it to me because it was after hours and all the day time staff had gone home and there was only 1 anaethetist who was dealing with 3 caesareans - do take this into account if you are there after hours, they simply don't have the same number of staff!!!

When I finally got the epidural I was completely in pieces from the pain and exhaustion. I can't describe it because I actually got to the point of being delirious. The relief of the epidural was sooooo amazing. It still took another 3 hours, and I was able to reduce the amount I was self injecting so could feel some of the contraction to do some pushing, but with very little pain. I still had to have the ventouse.

DC2 - much, much faster, which again was a problem because although the contractions were normal length, and the midwives were telling me just 2 more pushes and the baby will be out, my body just 'collapsed' half way through each contraction. I was going frantic and just couldn't fathom the weakness in my body, and the pain was intense. Consultant checked, I was rushed to theatre and had a spinal block (I could have kissed the anaethetist at that point, the relief was so instaneous and so very, very welcome). One last attempt with forceps with a caesaerean team on standby outside the doors, which worked. (He had been stuck up against my pelvic bone and at 2yrs old has a small (white and invisible but can still see if you look) scar on his nose where he was pressed up against it.)

However because I couldn't feel anything at all, my legs were clearly not completely straight in the stirrups and I had hip pain for a few months after birth for which I had to take quite strong doses of pain relief for 6 weeks.

What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?
The pain of transition for DS2 (didn't feel it for DS1) wasn't that much greater than the contractions, tbh. Didn't really feel the crowning.

Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain?
The pain yes, (if done early enough) but you still have discomfort.

Episiotomy?
Didn't feel it due to pain relief

Stitches afterward?
Discomfort, with epidural, but no pain. Nothing with spinal block.

Delivery of the placenta?
Again discomfort, but no pain. But annoying, it felt like it should all be over, the baby was out and here they were still making me work!!!!!

Most painful bit?
Never ending contractions which just weren't progressing.

It's been a while, but I agree - starts like period pain, and continues like really bad period pain but with with muscle spasms. All in the back for me, no abdominal pain at all, DH's hand nearly fell off with constant back massage. Transition stage - contractions almost constant, slightly panicky.
Pushing stage less painful, felt a bit more in control, partly because something seemed to be actually happening at last.

I had a water birth first time - gradual build up of contractions - no pain relief - fantastic.

Second time, induced as DD2 was 2 weeks overdue - contractions came on much faster and seemed more intense, had an epidural which came a bit late, ask for it before you think you need it - you can always send them away when they finally turn up.

The amazing thing is how the pain and disorientation stops immediately the baby is born, even if you have need stitches (which I did both times) the pain just seems to cut out instantly.

Before I gave birth (DS is 8 weeks), I was petrified of the labour as well, not so much of the pain as of the risk of incontinence, tearing or a forceps delivery etc. All I can say, having come out the other side, is that parts of the labour were agony but the worst thing for me was the length of the labour. Mine started on Sunday morning and DS wasn't delivered until Monday afternoon.

Early contractions weren't bad and I managed at home without any pain relief for 12 hours. Gas and air was fine then when I got to hospital and took the edge off. Then they had to break my waters as the labour wasn't progressing at all and I was starting to get really fed up and demoralised. Then DS got stuck and I was in total agony - completely off my face and just bellowing in pain. it was hard to describe though, just agonising spasms and wrenching down below. I would have given anything for it to end and when the midwife told me I was still only 6cm I thought I'd happily kill myself at that point. Finally got an epidural and that was bliss. Unfortunately by that point I was so exhausted I couldn't keep going at all. I barely remember the pushing stage as I was just too exhausted and scared of tearing to focus.

In the end though it feels like it was all worth it, even though I had an episiotomy and you forget the pain quickly. The worst pain afterwards was actually breastfeeding. It was agony for me and I was already in bits and exhausted for the labour and it just felt like another agonising burden piled on top of everything else.

I found it was very much like bad period pain. I did the first 36 hours with gas and air, which I strongly suspect it was mostly air as I didn't feel any nice effects from it - it was by no means agony, just a grinding and exhausting series of aches. Having said that, my contractions weren't strong enough to get the baby out and I needed intervention, so I may not have experienced their full glory..

Try not to think about it!!!!!

Every situation is different (even for the same woman) but having had two completely different experiences I will give you my thoughts on each (although never had epidural so can't answer on that).

First (son)
waters broke suddenly on getting out of bed and contractions started immediately and painfully (every 3 minutes from the off). The pain was different to braxton hicks (which were all in my tummy) these real ones extended from my back through to my tummy (*this feeling of the pain starting in my back was when I knew it was the real thing the second time round). I describe the pain to people as being like someone giving you a chinese burn internally (if that makes sense). In term of comparing pain, my tooth abcess was much more painful but can't think of any other coparisons.

I found pushing and crowing fairly pain-free but I think I was pretty out of it by then on G&A. Stitches were bad, I won't lie. They were almost the worst part. you have the relief of baby and placenta finally being out and then someone goes right back up there again. I compare it to finally taking off a pair of shoes that have been giving you agony and then being asked to put them straight back on again!

My daughter was WAy easier. Waters didn't break with her until the moment she was born and I think this led to much lighter contractions. In this case I managed virtually the whole thing without even G&A, it was just like intense preiod pains (still with the starting from the back and moving forward) and pain was manageable with just a bit of rocking (after pains were worse than labour pains with daughter).

Anyway, that is my experience if it helps at all.

Good luck, I am crap with pain and did feel like crying with my first and was a bit if a baby about it but my second was so much easier so really, there is no rule that it has to be very painful and even if it is, it's was obvously not bad enough to put me off getting pregnant again 9 months later

It was a pain I have never ever experienced before in my life and I think because it all happened really quickly I felt totally out of control which for me is not a good thing! Gas and Air is bloody marvellous and I have to say for me the worst bit was the breastfeeding afterwards as I was so bloody knackered and just wanted to sleep but they really banged on about how important it was...

My Ds is nearly 3 and I remember his birth being lovely ? although I am pretty sure at the time it didn?t feel like it!!! My pains weren?t really like the period pain I usually get as they were low down in my pelvis, rather than in my back. Early contractions were like an intense pain, like waves which went away again quickly so felt easily manageable? I was able to walk around, talk, play with TENS in between them. As labour progressed they started coming one after the other so I couldn?t move from the comfy spot I had found (knelt over sofa ? home birth!) with TENS on full blast (couldn?t feel it at this point!) but I always felt in control. I had a panicky/nauseous moment at transition but then had a feeling of calm, like a little rest period before I started getting the urge to push. At this point I was able to talk/laugh etc and get into pool? the pushing contractions felt altogether different? less intense pain more just uncomfortable. I had 3 hours of this which I remember mainly as being in pool with head resting on side, I think I even dozed off in between a few contractions! For me, the most painful bit was his head crowning? OUCH. I think I swore a lot at this point! It did feel like I must be tearing but I didn?t, I only had a small graze. This bit literally lasted 30 seconds and then he shot out into the water and I had the most overwhelming sense of relief (physical and emotional) it honestly didn?t hurt after that. Pushing placenta out felt unpleasant but not painful. I had a few after pains which felt like bad period pains but nothing too bad. I guess the truth is when you?re in the moment the pain feels unbearable, but your brain and body are amazing things an you really do forget all about it? I?d do it again tomorrow without worrying about it!

I'll answer for DD2 (six months) because it's freshest in my mind!

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?
Not IME. Once things got going, the pain seemed to stay reasonably consistent.

What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?
Contractions for me were intense back pain. I think (slightly long story, but it was never checked) DD2 was probably back to back. It felt like the worst back pain I can imagine, rather like someone was grabbing all the nerves in my back and then thumping them (sorry!). I am not sure whether I really experienced transition (had no internals, so I don't know when it happened) - if I did, the pain was no different. Crowning and pushing did not hurt at all really.

My labour was probably a bit upside down. All the hard work was the early stages. Immediately before pushing my contractions actually became far more manageable (although I had also just got in the pool), and the last pushing bit didn't hurt at all. I did not experience the 'ring of fire' people talk about or anything like that.

Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief)
I had an epidural for DD1 and no, it didn't. Despite being 'successful' the fact that DD1 was back to back resulted on her pressing on a nerve or something and I was in a lot of pain towards the end despite being totally numb in my limbs. I had the gas and air too, because having an epidural meant there was no way to get vertical and relieve the pain that way. After that experience, I really wanted to avoid epidural the next time.

Episiotomy?
I tore with DD2, didn't feel a thing.

Stitches afterward?
Hurt for about 2 weeks. Took longer for sex, etc though. The scar tissue from DD1 hurt when I had an internal scan for DD2.

Delivery of the placenta?
Not painful. Stubborn - took ages - but didn't hurt.

Most painful bit?
The early dilation contractions. Rest of it was a breeze in comparison.

The interesting thing I would say is that DD1 was a highly medicated birth and DD2 was no drugs at all, just a pool. With DD1, the pain and the upset did not immediately fade and it took me a long time to get over. With DD2, I felt euphoric for weeks afterwards and had forgotten the pain by literally that afternoon. I don't know whether that was in any way related to the natural endorphins, etc being able to do their thing, or just DD2 being a much calmer birth where I felt more in control.

Good luck!

Funny, lots of people thought the stitches were really bad, but I was talking to my mom excitedly on the phone and didn't even notice, haha! Didn't have an epidural but the G&A was really helpful. I did also have pain killers at the last minute so that could have helped the stitches...

Up to 4cm was totally controllable. You could feel the contractions coming and going and had a bit of breathing space. I was induced after that though (complications with me bleeding) and after that contractions came on hard and fast and I kind of retreated into myself. It was made a lot more manageable with my husband there encouraging me - at times I felt like I really couldn't do it! Those 4 hours are kind of blurry. But I do remember I was so stressed about pooping in front of everyone :) Only pushed for 10 minutes, and that was really stingy. I was just so keen to get him out though so just kept at it!

It really is an incredible experience!! Soo painful but oh-so worth it :)

Imagine having really bad cramp in your leg all over your stomach for an increasing length and frequency. This is the roughest approximation to a contraction I can think of.

I was induced so might be a bit different - had 3 pessaries, no drip.

Things I hadn't realised: contractions can make you sick - I started the day feeling unhungry, and got steadily more nauseous through the morning, throwing up my lunch and then about 3 or 4 more times after that. Finally got a shot of anti-emetic when I was up on Labour ward, so that would be after 9:30pm. Also had a shot of pethidine but I don't consider that made any difference to the pain.

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction? Gradual increase - despite pessaries, I didn't dilate well at all, but the contractions were like period cramps, I suppose - not that painful to start but getting worse through the day.

What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing? Basic contractions for me = bad period pain. Stage II contractions were a shock - no one warned me the pain can go all the way around to the back - it felt like my spinal cord was being pressed on, which was horrible. And that I needed to do a huge poo. I felt DS move down inside, which was probably him crowning as when I sent DH off for the midwife, she came back and hit the red panic button for another MW to come, and 3mins later DS was born.
Pushing - I didn't actively push. The stage II contractions were pretty much unstoppable - I tried with the first one - massive mistake! so after that I just let them happen and they did the job all by themselves. This may have been partly as a result of the hypnobirthing thing I did, which encourages you to relax and let your bod do what it needs to do. It definitely also helped that there were no MWs about until the last minute, so no one was interfering with the process. When they did turn up they told me not to push - har bloody har - no way was I stopping it and as it turned out it was the last push anyway! Stage II for me was only about half an hour though - I'm pretty sure I only had 10 of the really bad contractions, and they never got closer than 3mins apart.

Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief) No idea - didn't have one, because I was induced, the anaesthetist warned me that an epidural increased my risk of further intervention (forceps, ventouse, CS - any or all of the above).

Episiotomy? didn't have one, didn't tear - just had a slight internal graze. Nice MW who cleaned me up said that "giving birth lying on your L side is the best way to avoid tearing" - if they know that, why don't they tell more women???

Stitches afterward? nope.

Delivery of the placenta? had the release injection because a friend of mine who had a waterbirth took over an hour to attempt delivery and then needed the injection after all - she had to climb out of the water with her baby still attached to the umbilicus (not sure why, think they were waiting for it to stop pulsing) and waddle down the corridor to a labour suite so they could keep trying for natural placental delivery - but then had to do the injection. Sounded more trouble than it was worth, so I took the jab and the placenta was pretty much reeled out of me about 3mins after DS was born - can't remember if I pushed it out, I think contractions pretty much stopped immediately DS was out, but there might have been one more for the placenta.

Most painful bit? Trying to stop the first stage II contraction! And then all the others after that - I was like an air raid siren - semi-comatose in between (thanks pethidine! I think that was you) and then winding up to a crescendo of "shoot me now! Make it stop! I can't bear it!" and then down again, rest and repeat a couple of minutes later. DH was watching Goodfellas - I didn't hurt him nearly as much as I expected to, only clutched his hands. He mostly just let me get on with it up until me telling him to go and find a MW. The final push wasn't any worse than the others for me.

In the end though, you do forget the intensity of it. I do recommend hypnbirthing though - it may not make it a pain-free experience but it certainly helped me to just let my bod do it's thing and not to fight it (after my first attempt to stop me messing the bed - then I didn't care any more!)

Had no pain first birth, just contractions like when being sick but downhill IYKWIM, no pain despit 2nd degree tear....didn't feel it. Did hypnpbirthing though. Had pain 2nd time which got worse but okay with G&A.

I vividly recall having a lightbulb moment of clarity during my contractions that this must have been what William Wallace felt when being disembowelled. This was immediately followed by odd visions of Mel 'Ham Actor' Gibson in Braveheart writhing in cod agony on the scaffold whilst unseen nasty English barsterds committed brutalities off-camera with blunt swords. I kid you not. It felt like disembowellment and it was quite a revelation. It also hurt far, far, far, far fucking loads more than the "bad period" pain that is oft-touted. I beg to differ. Having had bad period pain before I had my babies and then manifestly AWFUL period pain after my babies (my body seems to go into a hormonal, epic bleedy meltdown for a year afterwards) I can attest that it is nowhere fucking close. In fact, I have become positively stoical since having experienced labour as I now realise that no pain is really like it.

Never pushed a baby out as the baby went into distress so I had an EMCS but I have heard the phrase "ring of fire". Apparently if you hook your forefingers into either side of your mouth and pull as if you're letting a cruise ship angle sideways through your moth you get the general idea

On a final note, it's true that you forget. For me, I suspect that this is because the pain becomes inconceivable. You can't imagine being that bad as the pain is just so different. Also, although the disembowellment/pain is terrible it's strangely positive and exhilerating. Or maybe that was me as an excited VBACer trying to dodge the surgeon with the glinty knives!

Either way I really rate it. Hurts like the blazes but in a good way.

the pain is very very fresh in my memory because I gave birth to our third daughter on Sunday evening, so only 5 days ago!
The contractions start off feeling like period pains, but with more pressure and they build up gradually(well, they did for me)... the fact that they build up gradually gives you time to adjust to the pain.
Transition is when the pain becomes very intense, but I found that breathing properly and using the gas and air properly helps lots. Pushing is like uncontrollable constipation.. your body just goes with it and just knows what to do naturally; ie, you can't fight it, even if you wanted to! I found the contractions prior to the head crowning more painful than the crowning itself. If anything, it's a blessed relief when you can feel that head emerging because you know the worst part will soon be behind you! The head and shoulders are easy after that, baby slithers out in a watery whoosh and onto your tummy. And it's all totally worth it!
I think labour pain, although intense, is different to other pain, because you know that the pain is there for a reason. You know that you're not sick, but giving birth, and it's supposed to hurt! Hope that makes sense.

Human for me it was eye watering but over very quickly. One long push then 3 or 4 tiny pushes and his head was out, so probably 2-3 minutes maximum. My best technique was burying my face in the pillow (I was kneeling up facing the back of the bed with the head of the bed raised for me to lean over) grabbing onto the handles tightly and silently channeling all of my energy into each push. This meant I got the most possible out of every contraction so the pushing stage was as efficient (and short!) as possible.

I had some real squeamishness beforehand about opening my bowels but in the event didn't know much about it (and it wouldn't have bothered me as I was very much 'in the moment') I was also worried about making odd noises and I did some very base long-grunt type noises during first few 'pushing ' contractions before my brilliant midwife helped into a better position and coached me on my technique. I was worried what my husband might think of me. I needn't have worried as he thinks giving birth to our son was amazing and that I did a fabulous job.

lukewarm's mention about the 'out of control-ness' of giving birth really struck home with me.

I was induced by drip 3 days after my waters broke. It didn't kick in to quickly, but once it did there was virtually no gap between contractions I felt like my spine was being steamrollered.

That said, I had a back-to-back baby with her head back to see where she was going (C-section eventually!), so the pain was probably exacerbated by her position. The midwife realised I was struggling and I was able to have an epidural at just 2cm dilated which was fabulous - I probably had a better night's sleep than DH!

The worse thing for me was the lack of control. If I had another child I would go for a elective c-section, but because of the that rather than the pain, which was a vague memory within hours.

Sorry, would go for ECS as would feel more in control, not because the pain factor would put me off iykwim.