So...can anyone tell me what the pain is really like?

[Fishpond]

General terms like 'bad, terrible, god-awful' are not really memory-inducing. I'm trying to equate it with some type of pain I could relate to.

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?
What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?
Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief)
Episiotomy?
Stitches afterward?
Delivery of the placenta?
Most painful bit?

I'm bricking it a bit

I've done it before and I'm still not sure if this thread is helping or not... [36 weeks emoticon]

It hurts a lot, but you end up kind of liking it because of the immense relief that follows each contraction. Ds was more painful than DC (mainly because Dd was so quick) because my waters broke first and apparently the waters cushion you inside. Dd's waters broke shortly before birth and I really felt teh difference.

Agree with other posters, crowning is worse than contractions because I think that, psychologically, you know exactly what's going on tehre and what's trying to come out! The main thing to focus on is that it's a means to an end: each pain is one step closer to the pain stopping.

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?
Not IME. The pain increased when the waters broke (both times)

What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?
Contractions for me were no worse than bad (not even my worst) period pains

Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief)
No, you still feel pressure but no pain. I still knew when to push.

Episiotomy?
Ask for local if you start feeling any pain.

Stitches afterward?
Hurt for about 2 weeks.

Delivery of the placenta?
Not painful.

Most painful bit?
The last bit of pushing baby out.

I was always terrified of giving birth, to the extent that I put off having a baby for years and years. Now have a 7 week old DS, and for me, pregnancy was worse than labour and birth. Contractions started painless, became really intense over five hours (for some reason flapping my arms helped me to cope with the pain...) and then I had an epidural. Now I know I was lucky, and that there are risks involved with epidurals, but I think it's the most marvellous thing in the world. Suddenly it didn't hurt any more, but I could feel painless contractions so knew when to push. Between pushing, I was chatting away and felt fine. I could still move my legs a bit (though prob couldn't have stood up). I had an episiotomy (big baby!) but still didn't feel anything, and was having a chat with the staff who did it. For me it was perfect because I now remember the birth as a positive experience, and had been so afraid that (being a bit of a wuss) I would end up traumatised by the experience!
24 hours later, stitches etc - not so nice. But I got through it and it's all healed now. IMO mastitis was waaaay worse than birth. Best of luck OP.

Had my baby 2 days ago in the early hours of Tuesday, and was astonished to find that I really did forget the pain almost immediately. I reckon I'm a wuss with a low pain threshold, so I prepared for pregnancy with hypnotherapy & pregnancy yoga/relaxation.

On Monday, I had some lower back pain quite early in the day, which I put down to the fact that I'd done loads of power walking the day before in an attempt to get the baby to come out and avoid induction.

Monday afternoon, I had what felt like fairly bad period pains, so I had a bath wondering if this was 'uncomfortable' and therefore Braxton Hicks, or 'painful' and therefore contractions.

Monday evening, I decided the pains were stopping me walking & talking easily when they came (but still only bad period pains) so phoned the hospital & went in. Birthing pool helped, like my bath at home had done, and I was fine concentrating on breathing when a contraction came, and chatting to husband & midwife when it went again. Went on to gas & air for a bit, which made the stronger pains feel just the same as the earlier ones - I could probably have managed without. Right at the end, the midwife made me put the gas & air down in order to do 'active pushing' for the final bit. That made me quite cross, but she helped, basically talking me through trying to do a giant poo. The worst of the pain was when the head was halfway out - but at that point, you know it's so nearly out that it's actually fine. I did get quite bossy at this point, not letting the midwife move from the exact place I wanted her!

At some point, I had to have a tube inserted so that I could go for a wee & have my waters broken, but with gas & air, I really didn't notice this - it was just a relief to lose the extra liquid, and I knew the birthing pool was being topped up with lovely warm, fresh water whilst I was out of it.

Pushing the placenta out was actually the weirdest bit, because you sort of forget how to push after the baby's out, and nothing is really 'making' you do it (apart from the midwife nagging!)

I had a small tear, no stitches - I reckon the amount of time I'd spent in water that day helped everything stretch. Baby came out at 3.30am, placenta at 4.30, and by 7am I couldn't remember what giving birth actually felt like - no residual pains apart from a bruise on my knee where I'd been kneeling for too long in one position in the pool!

2 days down the line and the tear stings when I wee (a bit like getting salt in a cut), but only for a few moments.

So - to cut a very long story short - if you have access to a warm bath, use it - I'm sure that was the most help for me. Also yoga breathing and knowing that each pain will completely end soon and never come back.

This thread is making me think that maybe I have a low pain threshold/had a particularly painful birth. Actually it was fine until I was about 8cm - like period pains/tightenings. Have to think hard about what it was like (as Ds is 2) after that point - but I will say it was easily the very worst pain I have ever had. Like someone trying to drag something out of my body in a really rough way (funny that!). The good news is I had an epidural which took away all the pain, and even when the epidural came out later the pushing bit was really not too bad. I was induced which is supposed to be more painful for some people.

All experiences are different - I tensed up a lot in the later bits and got in a negative place which I reckon made the pain a lot worse. If I was to do it again (which I plan to!) I would really try to relax and realise that however bad it is it's only temporary and really fades almost to insignificance in the light of having a wonderful new person in the world!

Oooh I've made a discussion of the day!

These anecdotes are fabulous, ladies, truly. Each and every one of them I'm taking a bit away from. I don't want to obsess over it, but it is a big thing and I want to be prepared. If I know what to expect, then I think I'll be less anxious / worried about certain things, iykwim?

Yoga breathing definitely really helps! I don't think I really believed it would until it happened!

Contractions- Like a period pain with a burning sensation very low down (which I visualised as my cervix stretching open). The sort of pain that made me hyperventilate. DH looking right into my face and telling me to breathe slowly and breathing with me got me through. Also humming on the outbreath provided a vibration which really helped. TENS was also brilliant.
The contractions obviously got more painful but as it happened slowly I just coped with each one as it came. Also I had some double peaked contractions - the second peak would come without a break. I visualised riding over them like waves.
Pushing - Like a massive downward uncontrollable vomit spasm. When the midwife said to push actively I found basically I had to push like I was pushing out a poo (which I probably did). Overwhelming sensation but not actually painful for me
Crowning - stinging but not unbearable, and short. And I tore (2nd deg).
Placenta - I tried for a natural third stage which didn't work out and was annoying as I kept being told to squat and push the placenta out and didn't have any energy by that point, plus after having pushed a baby out, trying to push out a squishy placenta feels like there's nothing to push against.
Epidural - don't know
Episiotomy - don't know
Stitches - no pain because I was high as a kite on gas and air and had a local anaesthetic. They hurt when sitting for about 10 days including a couple of days of itching as they healed. I sat on an inflatable ring.
Most painful bit - contractions around transition and possibly crowning.

OP - you really need to step away from this thread right now.

Here's why:

Childbirth can be shockingly, unbelievably, amazingly painful.

But....

It isn't a 'bad' thing.

We are programmed to associate pain with a negative experience - for good reason, as 99% of the time, the pain is associated with something bad happening (a broken leg, a banged head etc).

Childbirth is just about the only 'good' pain you ever experience - each contraction, no matter how painful, takes you one step closer to a wonderful outcome.

I know this sounds a bit drippy, but please believe me...I had 2 very long (30 hours +) labours, 2 terrible deliveries (back-to-back, sloooooow progression, induction, epesiotomy, tears etc etc) but still went back to do it a 3rd time :)

The more scared you are, the more you will tense up, and the more it will hurt. I know I sound like a tree-hugging-hippy, but for my 3rd, I finally worked out how to stop panicking, and had a long, but very manageable entirely natural labour, where I just used breathing & meditation to get me through.

It genuinely is
a) all worth it
b) over eventually
c) forgettable (ish)

At the worst (and my experience was pretty bad) reconstructive surgery is available - I had some minor bits done, and it worked.

But to answer your questions properly:

• Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?

Yes

• What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?

Its all mind-bogglingly painful if you let it be.

• Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief)

Yes, but you can't particularly feel your legs, and are much more limited in terms of delivery position, movement etc. Having said that, 15 hours into my first 2 labours, this was the best way forward for me, as I was utterly exhausted and nowhere near delivery.

It works so well, I managed to doze off.....

• Episiotomy?

Not the most fun you can have, but (in my experience) better than a really bad tear.

• Stitches afterward?

Of course....every time! Main thing is to keep an eye on the stitches and get antibiotics early if you think you're getting an infection.

• Delivery of the placenta?

Fine.

Most painful bit?

Oh god, the whole thing. But then its over, and you have a beautiful baby, and, at that point, you would do it all over again, as many times as you had to, in order to achieve such a blinkingly marvellous result :)

Good luck, and stop worrying :)

Contractions were like when you eat a dodgy curry and get those achy or stabby pains down low. They were all round the front for me, obv your mileage may vary!

The pushing stage was like immensely strong vomiting in a way (just down below - I don't mean that to sound unpleasant as it sounds, it was just the same sort of physical process - the body ejecting the baby in a forceful way. To have stopped pushing would have been like stopping vomiting - pretty impossible. You push along with the urge but the urge and the ejecting is sort of going on regardless.

This is on the basis of two very straightforward labours with everything happening as it should - consequently I was fortunate to need minimal pain relief and I whispers quite enjoyed the process

Good luck!

Interested that others have thought of pushing like vomiting too!

Stop trying to scare her!

Don't listen to the nasty ladies OP, try hypnobirthing. I am a complete wuss where it comes to pain and managed quite nicely without any drugs or gas (which on reading the other thread, I wish I could have been bothered to try). No rips either (my main worry)

Everyones experience is different. Don't scare yourself!
It is like any very intense pain really. Women are bloody amazing.
When you get to the bit that you really really believe that you can't do it anymore, it is nearly over!!

And when you get that first cuddle its all worth it a thousand times.

I remember the sudden realisation when pregnant first time round, at around 34 weeks, that, shitting hell, I had to get this monstrous belly-sweller out of me and the logistics weren't looking good.

So I do remember that fear.

I am now 30 wks pregnant with DC2 and actively looking forward to labour, as I know that when that first contraction kicks in, I will be hours (hopefully) away from meeting the little person that I have been carrying for nine months and the joy that DD has given us means that it is all worth it!

I had a 12 hour labour from start to finish and I found the contractions very, very painful. They started at 7 mins apart and were 5 mins apart within an hour. I had an epidural, and would love to try and go without this time, but don't think my pain threshold can carry it. Either that or I'm a wimp. The contractions felt like really bad trapped wind, all over my abdominal area and around my back, they came in strong breath-taking waves.

I felt quite a lot of pain through my epidural (contractions, not crowning or delivery). I felt no pain afterwards, a few afterpains and contractions when bf, but nothing major. Stitches were uncomfortable for a while but not for long not worse than minor discomfort.

But it's not the worst pain - there are drugs available, and it does end!

So despite all that IME labour is the quick and easy part, it's the nine months that preceed it that truly suck! I hate being pregnant!

Good luck - it is all worth it.

I found contractions ended up taking over my whole body, so I just tried to go with it and did a lot of swaying and stamping to try to ease it. I had read juju sundown 'birth skills' which I thought really helped.
I panicked at one point, and got diamorphine, but I wish I hadn't had it as I didn't like not being in control. If I were to do it again, I would go to hypnobirthing or similar, though I'm not at all into anything like that normally. I think it really would have kept me calm, which I think is really the key to coping with it all.
I didn't notice the placenta being delivered, I think the midwife basically pulled it out! The worst bit of the whole thing was being stitched up afterwards. I had complicated tears inside because of my baby doing a superman impression, but the MW said that externally I had hardly anything which she put down to a very controlled crowning and delivery. Everyone had told me to listen to the mw very carefully during that stage, and they're so right.
Why don't you have access to gas and air etc?

I think one of the reasons childbirth pain is so hard to describe is that it varies so much, even between births for the same woman.

With my first DC, my experience was much like Sciencegeekmum - I remember the exhaustion being worse than the pain. The contraction pains felt like very tight, squeezing pressure. When transition started, I got the shakes quite badly with every contraction, but no sickness.

It was the pushing stage I struggled with most. Mine was longer than average though (nearly 4 hrs) since DS got stuck, and the exhaustion was worse than the pain. Your body kind of takes over here. I felt like I simply HAD to push with each contraction, in fact it was far more painful to not push, since that feels like you're trying to go against what your body naturally needs to do.

I had ventouse, forceps and an episiotomy in the end, and the episiotomy I honestly didn't feel at all since they gave me local beforehand. The forceps were the most painful part of the birth, but over fairly quickly and by that point I didn't care - I think I would have accepted any pain so long as it meant that it would be over soon and I'd see my baby.

DC2 was very different. She was out in about 2.5 hrs, weighing 10lb 13oz! It was a dry labour (dramatic waters breakage before it started), and almost entirely pushing - I skipped the second stage completely. Much more intense than DC1's birth. The contractions started off very painful (I remember crawling out of DS's bedroom on my knees lol). I had the same tight, squeezing pain but stronger and sharper so that it made me want to double over with each contraction - this was probably because I had no waters left to "cushion" the contractions.

The best description I ever heard is that it's like the pain when you shut a finger in a car door. But all over your stomach. It's that KIND of pain. Hot and somehow nauseating. For me only the early contractions were like period pain. The later ones were - well, much much worse than breaking every bone in your lower leg (which I've also done). MUCH worse. But some people report much less pain, and both my babies were inductions, which everyone knows is worse. Aftermath of emergency forceps is a bit grim, too.

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?

It didn't for me. Contractions were every 5 mins from the start to pushing stage (31 hours). Each lasted about 1 minute. They were definitely stronger by the end than at the start, but nowhere near as bad as I expected and it was a really gradual increase in strength. I didn't feel a thing in between them - so 4/5ths of the time, it was just resting and waiting for the next one. I was at home and the thing I found worked best was pacing up and down and counting up to 100 then back down again during the contraction.

What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?

I didn't experience transition or crowning - just went from the regular contractions to a very strong urge to push. I used to hate it when women said 'it's not really pain, more a strong sensation' and think they were lying, but that really was true for me too. There's no way I could have stopped myself pushing for all I was worth, but it wasn't painful, just strong feeling of weight coming down. It felt odd to have something that wasn't me turning inside, and moving down then going back up again at the end of each contraction, that was the thing I didn't expect. My midwife was brilliant and explained that I shouldn't get frustrated because every time a push came, DC was coming down further, and the slower it happens, the less likely you are to tear (and I didn't!).

I just used the TENS (and only got it up to level 4 out of 12 by the end), then got into the pool for pushing stage (about 2 hours, but I wouldn't believe them when they told me that, it felt like about 20 mins max). I was cynical about TENS beforehand, but it was really effective for me. I even didn't want to get in the pool because it meant taking my lovely TENS machine off.

Delivery of the placenta?
Mine took just over an hour to come out, but I was just sitting in the pool holding DC, having first feed, then skin to skin and some tea and crumpets for me. After an hour, the midwife suggested I should get out and walk upstairs to 'get things moving'. It slid out with one short and painless contraction as soon as I stepped into the bathroom.

Most painful bit?
Staying awake for that long! It honestly never felt unmanageable in terms of pain. I had gas and air on hand in case I wanted it, but I never got to a stage of thinking it would be worth trying. I was aware it was there if I needed it, so I kept thinking I'd wait till I felt like the pain was getting worse, then it just never did. The pool was amazing, I think that was part of it.

And BTW, I am a total wimp when it comes to pain and drugs normally and was really nervous about how I'd manage in labour. I take every drug going for period pain etc. So you never know, you might get a nice surprise.

It seems to hugely vary.
Over the years I've wanted to kill all the poeple who told me that my period pains which would cause me to faint/throw up etc would be good preparation for labour - but annoyingly they were actually right!
Labour, or at least my first 15 hours of it, was a doddle in comparison - just like period pains (being contractions of the uterus and all) but less bad and with more point!

I needed an epidural for non-labour reasons after that - and mine worked perfectly; couldn't feel a thing below my waist except every couple hours when it needed to be topped up. I was allowed to get onto all fours with it to try pushing, but nothing happened - not being able to feel probably didn't help. Had a ventouse delivery in the end and ds just popped out!

Best advice I got was to specify I wanted an expert (not a student) if I needed any cutting or stitches - I had both episiotomy and lots of stitching but by day 3 they didn't hurt at all and paracetamol was adequate before that.

Basically compared to my SPD, labour and after-labour didn't really register.

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?

Not with me. It's never that bad until the last hour or so, and even then manageable if I mentally go into my 'happy place', so to speak.

What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?

Contractions - fine as long as people don't pester me or fiddle about with me.
Transition - A bit of a break for me, pain stops, I come out of my trance and have a carton of apple juice while I am waiting for the final offensive.
Crowning - painful, a 'brace yourself' moment but over in about ten seconds so count down from ten and you will survive.
Pushing - can't remember, unremarkable.

Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief)

No, they can miss. Plus they sometimes let it wear off so you can push. I didn't bother after the first time - less pain doing it in a birthing pool.

Episiotomy?

Didn't have one. Wouldn't let them near me.

Stitches afterward?

Yes, quite painful but less than crowning. Make sure someone competent does them as most of the time repairs are poorly executed by midwives and non-consultants.

Delivery of the placenta?

Unremarkable, mild period pain.

Most painful bit?
Crowning, but I have done it four times and lived.

Remember afterpains - period type pains - have paracetemol to hand.

If you are bricking it, hypnobirthing is great, BTW.

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?
Not every contraction. The general trend is to get more painful, but even towards the end I found some less painful than others,

What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?
My contractions were mostly in my back, though DS wasn't back to back. It was like very bad back pain combined with period pain. They were nothing like braxton hicks. I'm not sure about transition, towards the end I asked if I'd been through it and the midwives said no, but I must have been as he was out soon after. Crowning/pushing all merges into one for me, I only had 15 minute second stage. I think I remember the pain where he was coming out taking over from contraction pain.

Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief)
Didn't have one.

Episiotomy?
Again, didn't have one.

Stitches afterward?
I had a minor 2nd degree tear, didn't feel it happen. I had lidocaine for the stitches, was fine. No pain from them afterwards, though my very swollen labia were sore.

Delivery of the placenta?
Like a mini, much less painful, labour. I had a natural 3rd stage and it took anout 30 mins.

Most painful bit?
Probably pushing. But maybe when I got into the pool and the contractions got more intense.

Honestly, it all felt manageable, I never felt like I couldn't cope.

In 28 hours of labour and 3 hours of pushing I didn't experience anything I would describe as pain.
I felt as if my body was being occupied by something like waves of an earthquake.
I felt as if my muscles were crushing themselves together into a ball
I felt as if my body was working incredibly hard, like slogging relentlessly up a steep mountain, without me doing much.
I don't think it is a case of having forgottten any pain, because at 9cms I was on the phone to my Mum and she didn't guess I was in advanced labour.
I just stayed upright, kneeling and leaning forward on the edge of the pool, on the stairs, on the soofa leaning over the back, and breathing.

However, after loads of pushing (the baby was OP) we needed assistance - a drip to intensify the contractions, and ventouse. The drip made the contractions feel acutely painful like terrible cramp or stitch down both sides of my belly. Lying on my back once the drip was in was painful - so I asked for an epidural at that ppint and got one.

All fine.

Recovery wasn't anywhere near as painful as I thought it might be, just a bit bruised feeling.

The lack of sleep after a night in labour and then the next night poor headachey ventoused DS cried all night, was far far worse than labour.

And I would easily choose labour over toothache.

I liken it to cramp.

Waters broke, contractions started - felt like cramp in the hand when you have been writing for hours in an exam. Made me draw in my breath and go "oooooh" in a slightly uncomfortable way.

Contractions became more established - felt like the cramp in the foot sometimes when you point your foot - ow ow!

Contractions became properly established - felt like that cramp in your calf you get in the night where you wake up the whole house screaming. Except the uterus is about 10 times bigger than your calf muscle and is spherical so the pain "goes all the way round" IYSWIM.

Cannot comment on any further as after that after a few hours of the last one I thought: "Fuck. This. " and an epidural was duly roared for and administered.