So...can anyone tell me what the pain is really like?

[Fishpond]

General terms like 'bad, terrible, god-awful' are not really memory-inducing. I'm trying to equate it with some type of pain I could relate to.

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?
What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?
Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief)
Episiotomy?
Stitches afterward?
Delivery of the placenta?
Most painful bit?

I'm bricking it a bit

The contractions were the worst for me, although when I was pregnant I was terrified of crowning.

Contractions felt like being crushed, along with the most awful periods pains. I couldn't cope, so had an epidural. That got turned off at 8cm because I was having a vbac, and had some pain with the scar, and they wanted to monitor it.

I didn't find the pushing bit or crowning hurt, but intensely uncomfortable, and knackering. Overall, the contractions hurt the most. Stitches didn't hurt, due to some serious gas and air chugging, I knew it was my last baby so went to town on it and they had to prise it out of my hands in the end. < dreams of unlimited access to gas and air- sigh>

I only had one contraction (and can still remember the pain - 10 years on) then I was knocked out with a GA for an EMCS - which was bliss .

I am totally amazed that anyone ever has more than one baby !

Ooooh, good questions! Trying to remember...

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?
Slow increase in amount of pain during early labour and then pain increased more rapidly later in labour. In transition, pain worsened with every contraction.

What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?
I agree contractions were like extraordinarily bad period pains. They made me feel sick. By transition they were at their most painful. Transition for me was as much a mental challenge as physical. I thought I was going to die. I wanted to die, such was the pain. Pushing was a bit of a relief after transition because I had a focus and felt in control again. The contractions were less painful too, I think. Pushing felt like trying to poo a pineapple. VERY difficult and ouchy but strangely satisfying. I didn't feel the crowning at all; not that I can recall.

I didn't have pain relief, episiotomy or stitches so can't comment on those. I had minor tears which I didn't feel tearing at the time.

Both times, delivering the placenta was a walk in the park :) It's very soft and kinda slithers out. Still having contractions though at that point to expel the placenta. Much milder contractions but a bit distracting and annoying when you've got a baby you want to look at.

Most painful bit for me was transition. Really, really surreal and challenging experience but I'm glad I went through it.

Wishing you all the best for an entirely pain-free birth :)

Briefly....like shitting a melon.

Fishpond, congratulations on your imminent new arrival. Nearly 3 years ago I was in the same position as you...I'd been scared of childbirth since being aware that it would be something I would perhaps have to do one day, but then I found myself sitting around for weeks on mat leave and suddenly the harsh reality hit!

I'd read and heard many terrible birth stories, it seems the first thing women want to impress on you is how agonisingly painful it all is...I got sick of feeling like I was being deliberately wound up and had some firm words with myself.

First of all, pain is a very subjective experience, open to interpretation depending on how positive or negative you are feeling. I did a lot of preparation to change my long held (negative) fear of childbirth, and reading peoples positive birth stories really helped. There are many on www.homebirth.org that are extremely uplifting whether you are planning a home or hospital/birth centre birth. I looked at relaxation techniques and used a natal hypnotherapy cd (very relaxing), read about hypnobirthing (a bit hippyish but some very useful techniques to mentally control the pain, and helped me change my attitude towards birth in general), I considered options such as using water. Eventually I had convinced myself that what I was about to do - something that women have been doing for millenia - was extremely natural and my body was perfectly designed for the job. It was an unbelievably empowering experience...I felt strong and confident that my body would be able to do it - I just needed to let it. I didn't think in terms of contractions as being 'pains' but as pressures or tightenings and I imagined an intensity control that I could turn down the dial on during each contraction.

I know this all sounds like a load of hippy drivel and there are many who would poo poo it, but I managed to have my beautiful little girl at home on a couple of paracetamol and one toke on the gas and air, so there must be something in it!

All the best, I hope you have a lovely birth x

I have had 2 "natural/ normal" vaginal deliveries. The pain was like nothing I've ever experienced, although I've never actually had anything more painful than a bad headache or fairly typical period pains. When I was in proper established labour it felt like a sensation washing over the whole of my body, not that I felt my whole body was actually in pain, more that it took over and over-whelmed me and I couldn't do anything apart from focus on the contraction. But I never felt I couldn't cope - with DD1 I felt I was just, just the right side of being able to cope, and with DD2 I definitely felt I could cope, I think because I had more ideas of how I was going to manage the pain (knowing what I was up against having been through it with DD1!).

Between contractions was actually painfree. So I had these frequent periods where I could rest. I think that's fairly typical. I didn't feel exhausted in either labour (DD1 was 10 hours and DD2 was 5 hours, although only about 3 hours of that was properly painful).

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?

Yes, it did for me. Although I didn't notice it from contraction to contraction, the end was definitely much much more painful than the beginning.

What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?

To be honest I just found the whole thing just got more and more painful and then there was a baby. I didn't notice transition in either of my labours. Crowning wasn't pleasant because there wasn't any respite in the pain (ie it was painful between contractions because there's a blimming great head sticking out of your vagina). Pushing at least felt like the end was in sight, and that the more I pushed the faster the end might come.

Delivery of the placenta?

Hardly noticed it with DD1 (took 4 mins I think) - was completely painfree as far as I remember. With DD2 it took a lot longer (about 40 mins) but was also pretty painless.

Most painful bit?

The way the contractions just increased in intensity and length.

I highly recommend reading Birth Skills by Juju Sundin - loads of great pain management techniques for labour. Read it before DD2's birth and used several of her ideas, which really helped. Very realistic about labour (ie it hurts) and intervention (ie you might choose to have various forms of pain relief and you might need intervention for medical reasons), rather than pretending that you can breathe the baby out in a joyful, painfree state.

You will probably surprise yourself with what you can cope with.

Hi Fishpond, sorry for long post!!!

Not read all the other posts...but thought i would pass on my experience.

We had done a course of hypnobirthing so i was all geared up for a home birth. But unfortunately my DS had other plans. Waters broke and labour didnt start until 25 hours later, so had to go in to the hospital.

The hypnobirthing really helped put me in a positive frame if mind. It teaches you a lot about what happens to your body during child birth. It also says you can have a "pain free" birth. Mmmm not convinced .

I think the whole experience is bloody amazing!!!! 12 hours of labour. No pain relief needed until i asked to be examined. The midwifes fingers going up my vajaja seemed to make me totally loose my focus. Used gas and air but didnt like it. Got my focus back.

I didnt really notice a break in the contractions the way that i had imagined. I wouldnt describe it as pain. For me it was more like a really powerful overwhelming surge that i felt in my whole body rather than just my uterus.

Started to involuntary push about an hour before he was born, which was a really bizzare feeling. Actually made be laugh a few times. The labour suite was on a different floor of the hospital and they were trying to get me into a wheel chair. There was no chance of that....felt much more in control standing up. So used the wheel chair like a zimmer and got myself to the labour ward with my entourage in tow.

When i got there is was delighted to hear that i was fully dilated!!! Maybe it was the walk that done it. An hour later DS was born. Needed an episiotomy and kiwi vantouse. After shoving a baby out didnt feel a thing. Got stitches and had bruising.

I have to say the sorest part for me was the piles!!! The pushing at the end gave me such a sore ass for weeks after.

My DS is now 7 months old, and i am loving every minute of it.

Good luck

Oh, I should have said that I can imagine that "ill" pain such as gallstones, or toothache, or broken limbs, which I have heard can all be excruciating, can be much worse than childbirth, partly because childbirth pain really is "good" pain, in that it's your womb contracting in order for your baby to be born, which is it's proper function. Whereas the pain in those other things is "bad" pain because it's about something being wrong with your body. The Juju Sundin book talks about this in very sensible, down-to-earth terms, and I found it helpful thinking of it as positive pain.

I have to admit, i remember it being like bad belly ache, and that the contractions were fine as long as i was moving at the time. When i went round to the labour ward at 8cm dilated, i did have gas and air as it hurt when i wasnt moving. Pushing was pretty easy, i let my body do the work and just helped it along a little bit. Easy peasy. I know not all women have it so easy. I went all day on the thursday in labour and went out shopping for a new playstation and carpet for my sons room as we had just moved cos our bastard landlord evicted us at 8months pregnant. I gave birth friday morning at 7.32. Wednesday was okay, slight cramps after my waters broke. I think my slow labour was a good thing cos my body had time to change gradually, and i didnt tear, or need to be cut or anything. I hope you have as good a labour as i did. xxx

Well, I had a bad experience but I wish I'd asked questions like yours and been better prepared for the experience as I may have found it less traumatic as a result.

As others have said, everyone's different. I was induced which caused hyperstimulation and baby was back to back, you'd be v.unlucky to have the same experience but you may have elements of it so it's worth sharing:

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction? It definitely built over time. First contractions much less painful than later ones.

What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?
I had an epidural so can only describe the contractions before then. Like being simultaneously torn apart and set on fire (although having no direct experience of that, I'm assuming that's what it felt like.) It felt like torture. So much pain that I was demented. I cannot imagine any greater pain. If I'd have been told the only way to end the pain was for DD to have died, I'd have accepted it (that's bad I know).

Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief)
They do when they get them right. It took 4 hours for them to get mine to work but when it did it was bliss. 100% pain free. I even slept for an hour or two.

Episiotomy? Done under epidural = no pain. But the stitches all came undone so that was 2 months of excruciating trips to the toilet and sitting down.

Stitches afterward? See above.

Delivery of the placenta? Again, under epidural so no idea it had even happened.

Most painful bit? Contractions before the epidural. I would have gladly died.

Oh and your new baby will be wonderful BUT please don't feel abnormal if you don't forget the pain almost instantly and then slip straight into the best days of your life because it was all so "worth it". I felt utterly dreadful for a long time afterwards (like several months) but tried to pretend it was all okay because that's how everyone else says it should be. If you feel low, upset, in pain, traumatised PLEASE speak up and seek help - even if the first move is here on mumsnet. I wish I'd sought more help sooner.

Before the birth I'd also done all the classes and prep, read Marie Mongan, Juju Sundin, used a TENS (tickling me with a feather would have been as effective), prepared to be relaxed and accepting of my experience. What happened was a huge shock and I felt very responsible for a long time - you don't need to feel like that if you have a bad time - but remember statistically you're very unlikely to have an experience like this.

For me it was like period pain. I don't know if you get a 'congested cervix' sort of period pain; I do, and it was like that.
Having the base of my spine rubbed with the heel of a hand, while standing up, was surprisingly good pain relief.
Lying down made the pain worse, and lying on my back was insanely and unbearably painful (had one pelvic exam like that).

TBH I've largely forgotten what crowning and pushing pains were like. I did feel very stretched It is impossible to describe the feeling of a baby passing down the birth canal then coming out - it isn't like anything I've experienced before or since.

Delivery of the placenta was not memorable. I had a huge, huge high at that point, and something else to focus on.

I had stitches, and that was worse than birth in a way. I was very bruised, and it all stung. It felt all wrong for a few weeks really, but gradually healed and felt far, far better certainly by 4 weeks.

The most painful bit was having my 'membranes' ruptured with a crochet hook type thing: that brought on a monumental contraction but I needed to push quite soon afterwards and that felt like a great relief in a way. The urge was very strong, like needing a positively ginormous poo. It was something to work towards which I found motivating.

As others have said, it can feel like a very 'good' pain: it's really hard to explain that rationally, but I don't think it's a rational feeling. It can feel incredibly productive, you think 'ooh another one, another bit closer'. I'm aware that's a cliché, and that it gives some people cause to roll their eyes - I just don't know how else to describe it. You look down at your uterus: it's the biggest muscle your body will ever have (at that point), working incredibly hard for you. It's kind of awe-inspiring.

Contractions for me were dull, heavy pain that make you want to make mooing sounds.... 'Pushing' was like passing a large stone boulder. it's a bit like projectile vomiting but the other end - iyswim. your body takes over and you're helpless; you just want everyone to leave u alone in a corner. The good thing is you go to a different Place - it's as though you are not really there. And when you finally hold your baby in your arms you feel as though you can conquer anything.

For me -

Contractions, huge, almost overwhelming and tiring, but manageable.

Crowning - omg, I still recall it as being the most stinging, smarting agony!

"And when you finally hold your baby in your arms you feel as though you can conquer anything"

So true.

oh just to mention I agree with SoH (I usually do :)) who said take the drugs if you need them. On the face of it I had two "fine" labours with only G&A, very quick and straightforward. However there were points in both of those where i was yelling for more pain relief, and only circumstance meant I didn't get/need that (i.e. it wasn't so bad when they examined me and said it would be over fairly soon). The thought of an epidural terrified me, but in the scond one I was all geared up for one :o

Just to balance the bad stories, I remember saying that I didn't know what all the fuss was about the day after DD was born and the friend I was talking to agreed. She had given birth naturally to three, the last born 6 weeks earlier at over 11lb. He was 10 days late and I think was induced. I had a 3lb9oz baby though and was in a state of shock at having gone into labour 7 weeks early, so appreciate that it's a lot tougher to push a term baby out after the sleepless nights of late pregnancy and a long labour.

I did a few antenatal yoga classes and the breathing techniques really helped. I remember being annoyed when people spoke to me because the pain came back when I wasn't focused on breathing. The pain was no worse than a very bad period for me and I'd had plenty of those in my teenage years so knew that I could cope. The only times I thought I couldn't were when the hospital didn't believe I was having contractions and I was worried about what was to follow if what I was experiencing was something pre-labour and also immediately before the urge to push came, I remember saying that I couldn't take anymore. DD was in trouble, so the pushing stage only lasted 15 minutes for me as they needed her out quickly and she was too early to use forceps so I had to push really hard. There was a stinging sensation at crowning but it was very quick. I didn't have any pain relief other than G&A until the placenta didn't come out, when I had to have a spinal block. My stitches were done after they removed the placenta so I didn't feel them.

for me:

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction? It started as nagging period pains a dull unpleasant ache, then got worse and worse as time (not necessarily contractions) went on.

What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?
the contractions felt like a duller version of leg cramps, if you have ever had that, but then as the labour progresses they get to be all consuming. I literally could not do another thing other than force myself to breathe as things got on a bit.
Transition for me was wild mood swing (turned into a sweary cow really), sweating but freezing and tingling hands and legs, feeling sick (I was sick each time) but exhilerating as I knew the baby was about to come. This was moreso on later pregnancies as first time I didn't really recognise it. At the last birth I was in pain but could have run round the hospital in delight despite my foul mood as I knew the end was in sight
Pushing - the pain was all consuming. I was not there, I was entirely in myself and could feel everything going downwards. However, I was elated at the same time adn because the pain was so extreme at that point, the gaps between contractions were bliss. I would recommend focusing on that bliss as that is what got me through.
Crowning - if you do perineum massage properly, i.e. each time push harder so it stretches enough to be a sore pulling feeling, then it is like that but 100 times more pulled. It is like pinching but obviously a bigger area. - 2 words - perineum massage. 2 more - do it! It is magic and will stop you tearing if you do it right and deliver carefully
Pushing - I was not in control of that, but it felt very much liking having an enormous poo

Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief) - I don't know, didn't have one
Episiotomy? - don't know, didn't have one. Perineum massage, I say!

Stitches afterward? They stung just like when you have a cut and then catch it on something sharp.

Delivery of the placenta? Just another contraction but it was not sore to push out. I did feel it slip out though as I was tender (of course)

Most painful bit? Pushing, but it was so bearable. worst bit was the last bit until transition. Not knowing how long it would go on, and the first time just how much sorer it would get was hard.

My sister gave me great advice which really helped. Each contraction is one less contraction that you need to do. And if you do each one and make it a good one (i.e. relax and let your body do what it needs to) then you will reduce the overall total of contractions needed. Don't think about how many more are left, think about home many less you are going to have to do to meet your little bundle.

And my mum passed on the thing her mum said to her. It is the worst pain in the entire world, but it is the fastest gone pain once it is over. So true. seriously, 12 hours, 1 day, 2,3 4 days even is nothing compared to a lifetime.

Good luck. I thought hard about putting this so plainly for you. But you sounded quite mature (not meaning that in a patronising way) and if you really want to know, then sugar coating is only going to leave you ill prepared (if that is part of how you want to prepare).

I did it ALOT of times, and was induced each time, which is supposedly meant to be more painful (no idea if it is though). If it was that bad, there would not have been any more after the first time. It really is worth it x

Bit shocked by posts describing pain during suturing (Stitching).

If you can feel it and it hurts, tell the suturer to stop and administer more local anaesthetic! It should be pain free.

Please, MN'ers...you should not have to endure this stoically simply because you have been through several hours of labour and it is assumed by health staff that suturing is minimally uncomfortable in comparison..

mrsmplus3 thanks for your post - my first was induced, started at about 4pm, but midnight having been on oxytocin (increased) still only a couple of centimetres dilated resulting in c section. that was 3 years ago. remember the contractions being horrendous at the end like one big blur with no gap between them and the doctors kept coming and saying "shes not really dilating"
wish it could have been different
anyway my baby was safe and ok

I had two very different births. DD was back to back, had mild period pains starting at night 2 days before I had her. Gradually got worse (all contractions were in back) got to hospital when 4cms. Went into birth pool and got to 7cms then stopped. Had to have waters broken but made no difference. Got epidural as well as syntocin drip as very tired by this point. Epidural took away pain but not the urge to push (DD was hitting cervix at angle, was fully dilated on one side but not the other). Pushing stage, I could feel bump contracting so knew when to push. Was like being constipated but made sure i didn't relax after each push. Took 40mins, 2nd degree tear and lateral lacerations. Stitches stung but I had local for stitching. Stitches were very uncomfortable for at least 6 weeks. Placenta was managed and was quick. Was holding DD when delivered and felt like huge tampon being removed.

Ds was also back to back, Contactions similar and v sporadic. Each contraction would start mildly then increase in intensity. I could breathe through them if I concentrated on breathing. If I concentrated on contraction then I would notice the pain and start to panic which would make it feel worse than it was. Was 7cms when got to hospital, had high bp so mws decided to break waters when at 9cms. They thought I had an hour to go but when I stood up I had urge to push. Was leaning against bed with DH behind me. Starting to panic as I couldn't control the urge to push, was like I had diarrhoea and had no control. In had to breathe to control pushing stage to slow it down. 6min pushing stage. I physically didn't push like I did with DD. Placenta was was managed again and was 7mins. Same sensation as before.

Forgot to say crowning was a burning sensation.

Sorry forgot to say had 2nd degree tear with ds as well but healed so much faster. Also recommend local anaesthetic for stitches only stung a bit when applying it.

Can I just repeat that in the end it will all come down to luck.

I know there are people on here who had wonderful labours and are telling you about believing your body can do it, it's natural, you're designed to do it etc and I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment in general terms. Being positive, keeping active, positioning etc are all small things you can do to nudge things in the right decision. And biology and stats are on your side. But nobody decides to have a natural delivery. It doesn't work like that.

I did the hypnobirthing thing, I stayed at home in water until it was clear something was really wrong, I was on a birthing ball for the last 8 weeks of pregnancy, no slumping on the sofa etc, I was mentally prepared, positive, believed my body could do it etc. My mistake was that because I so wholeheartedly believed my body was designed to do it, I didn't prepare myself for the very real possibility that it couldn't. I was ready for pain in waves, breaks in the onslaught, a build-up, my body working with me etc but through sheer luck, it turns out that I can't fit a baby through my pelvis so all bets were in fact off. It didn't feel right and it wasn't manageable. Of course with the glorious benefit of hindsight, my body WAS doing its job. It was screaming at me that something was wrong. I didn't find the pain tough because I hadn't practised breathing enough or I didn't handle pain well generally (I do, I have an extremely high threshold for pain), there was something clearly wrong. But I doggedly pursued what I thought I should be doing. And I ended up traumatised and depressed because it was a bit of a frightening emergency in the end.

I know now that how the baby gets into the world doesn't matter in the way I thought it did. It was my ability to mentally accept the method and welcome the baby it produced that was important and I had the power to be positive about that whatever it was but I was so stuck on what I thought it SHOULD be that I felt like I'd failed. My only advice to pregnant women ever is that you should be as clued up as possible. People might tell you to read about natural births, empower yourself, believe you can do it, watch homebirths on YouTube etc in order to convince yourself you can do this naturally and to deflect from fears over intervention, well yes amen to all that. But it won't guarantee the same for you. Also read up about the realities of instrumental deliveries and sections, find out what they're really like and how you can make them positive events, how you can even enjoy them and meet them with joy. And then embrace whatever happens.

I had another baby 3 months ago and the same thing happened. I know I have a twist in my pelvis now and can't give birth vaginally. But my goodness was it a different experience. I desperately wanted a vbac and did everything I could to try and achieve it. I did the hypnobirthing, upright, mobile, birth ball, water thing again. But I also prepared realistically for the alternative. And when I was wheeled into theatre I was grinning like a loon because I was going to meet my son and it was time for us to start our relationship together. It was tinged with sadness yes that I would never push my own babies into the world, but I was in love with every single trained professional in that room who allowed me to become a mother. Without them we wouldn't be here and with the radio on and the anaesthetist telling me funny stories about Places Toddler Boys Choose To Wee, I laughed my baby into the world.

We all do the same thing on the day. We become mothers. And I could probably describe the pain in quite exquisite and evocative terms if I really put my mind to it, but I can never, ever tell you the sheer humbling joy of holding a whole life in your hands that you created and ache for in a way you never thought possible. That's what you're doing. You're having a baby.

Showofhands - your post made me cry - it's so true that having your baby in your arms for the first time is Amazing!

I had a very bad experience with my labour - it took me about 4 years to get over it. I would have another now.

My contractions kept stopping, so I was induced. Best to avoid that if you can, as the pain was sudden and terrible. Like a very bad period pain x 100.

I couldn't handle the pain - gas and air was good - but I had an epidural, which was great.

My ds got stuck and I couldn't push, so he was delivered using forceps, ventouse and scissors. I had 5 stiches, which kept me in constant sharp pain for 3 weeks afterwards.

The placenta was delivered very easily and I had no pain. It is huge though.

My leg took a few hours to wake up after the epidural, so I had to use a wheelchair for a bit. That was depressing and they left me in the toilet to fend for myself. I hate hospitals.

Breastfeeding was great so make sure that they help you with that- mine wouldn't let me go until my son was feeding properly.

I'm a child of the 80s too. It took me 4 years, some counselling and some v bleak times to get past what happened with dd. And as I say, I have a 4.6yr old and a 3 month old now and while the method of delivery was the same (though with dd I had the ventouse, episiotomy, manual rotation stuff too before giving in), the feelings afterwards could not be more different.

The care in hospital makes a huge difference too. This time round I was on a brand new ward with staff who had actually had bfing training. It was wonderful.