So...can anyone tell me what the pain is really like?

[Fishpond]

General terms like 'bad, terrible, god-awful' are not really memory-inducing. I'm trying to equate it with some type of pain I could relate to.

Does the pain increase every hour / contraction?
What type of pain are the contractions vs. transition vs. crowning vs. pushing?
Do epidurals really eliminate all the pain? (We don't have G&A or pethidine here, epidural is the only way to go if I want pain relief)
Episiotomy?
Stitches afterward?
Delivery of the placenta?
Most painful bit?

I'm bricking it a bit

I don't think you get specific answers to this question because:

A) there really is no other pain like it and
B) the memory does fade.

I gave birth 13 weeks ago and can feel the memories just slipping away, despite saying to my DM at the time that I would never forget!

But I'll try to answer your questions:
Yes, pain increased with every contraction. I found it was like really really bad wind pains in the abdomen.

Pushing was when it changed for me. It was like being severely constipated but trying to push it out anyway. For me by this point the worst part was not the pain but the exhaustion.

The epidural was lovely and got rid of the pain but not the exhaustion. Could still feel the contractions as pressure though.

Unfortunately for me my epidural came out and I did the last bit without any pain relief. However from the vague bits I can recall, the exhaustion was far worse.

I had to have my placenta removed but others have told me they didn't even feel it come away.

I really didn't believe people when they said the memory fades, but it really does! The worst bit is after the birth in a way, you have a baby completely dependent on you. Try focussing instead on preparing for that bit. Do you know how often newborns feed for instance? Or how often you should change their nappies?

Best wishes with it all.

Oh and I had a third degree tear - didn't even notice it amongst all the pushing!

Thanks Science, quite informative!

I used to be in childcare, particularly babies so know most of the ending bits but next to nothing about pregnancy and the actual birthing part.

I do remember saying things like 'can't you just take me down to theatre now for a c section?' and 'get the forceps and just pull it out!' but it really was because I was just so tired by then and didn't want to push any more!

Try to enjoy your last few bits of freedom rather than worry about it - get lots of rest and do things like eating out etc. Good luck and come back to this thread to let me now how it went!

*know how it went!

My DS is nearly 7 weeks old now & i also agree that the memory of the pain is fading. However i will try my best to explain how i found it.

My first contractions were twinges that felt a bit like muscle spasms in my lower back. Slightly painful & uncomfortable but easy to breath through. These went on for about 24 hours, off & on. Once they finally got going properly i found them quite painful but the small rest between them was lovely. Only way i can describe them was it felt like a giant hand squeezing my lower back/spine.

I tried a bath for pain releif which was nice for a while (more as a distraction) but them had diamorphine which helped for a while. I then had an epidural, which i thought was just lovely as it took the pain away, could only then feel a little bit like a tummy cramp during contractions.

Once i was at 10cm my contractions stopped & i didnt get the urge to push so i had syntoxin drip to regulate contractions. This was the painful part, as my epidural wasnt actually that good & stopped working and the contractions were one on top of another with no break between & that squeezing feeling was very intense. There are no words i can find to describe it well. Not wanting to scare you so i will quickly brush over that forceps were used, baby had shoulder dystocia & i am left with 4th degree tear.

What i will say is that i didnt feel the crowning bit that much but definitely felt the forceps. The pain does stop instantly once the baby has arrived. I found that during the pushing stage i wasnt so much focused on the pain but more on trying to get him out as quickly as i could so cant really tell you what it was like. The placenta delivery just felt a bit uncomfortable in comparison.

Almost 7 weeks on my bits are still bruised & slightly tender feeling but having my lovely little boy far outweighs my discomfort now.

Not sure if i have really answered your question but hope it helps. I just kept in the back of my mind that the pain will end, and that each contraction is one step closer to baby finally being here.

DD is 6 days old and fading already!

My waters went first - not a gush just trickles. Then I had contractions which were painless - stomach was tightening every five minutes. If I sat down they'd feel like a dull ache - bit like trapped wind low down.

Contractions got stronger - there would be a peak about half way through (earlier contractions lasted 60 secs, later ones about 1.5-2 mins). The peak would be where the dull ache would increase and I'd have to breathe and move about to manage it. Sitting down or lying down made them very difficult - leaning forward, standing up or walking slowly really helped and I could also count in my head so knew they'd end soon. In between contractions I'd be fine - I was eating dinner and putting DS to bed!

The contractions got closer together and I could sense a change in them. At this point I felt a bit confused and panicky (transition). Transition is just the change in contractions and in my case it was a change in emotions. At this point i needed G&A - not sure it worked but it gave me control back.

The pushing feeling really is like the uncontrollable bearing down feeling you get when you have to do a poo. I would push when I got the feeling and stop once it went. I found a position and refused to move - mentally I felt very alert but in my own world. The MW suggested moving and I said no - listen to your body and stay where you're comfy. I did follow guidance for pushing - MW was very good (not just "push"!). DD's head did slip back but that helped with stretching. I found myself thinking "I just want to push her out" but stayed calm via G&A and it only took 25 mins. Crowning was a bit stingy andit was odd having her head out while I took a breather!

I had stitches - second degree as DD came out arm up. Stitches themselves more painful having them done IMO! I got very high on gas and air! However they're healing well and can hardly feel them when I sit down (compared to last time).

Placenta delivery was painful - I had a managed third stage as wasn't coming out. It was like a strong contraction and not in my control. Made me shudder.

Most painful bit - afterwards ie the stitches. And crowning but that was because I was quite tense!

I had been told to make pushing easier you should learn how to relax your pelvic floor muscles in advance - it's all part of the exercise but we focus on the actual strength when it's knowing howto control them which helps. I definitely found this to be the case during pushing.

Best thing to do IMO is to do your research but after 34 weeks atop reading up and scaring yourself!!!

Good luck :)

My son is 2 weeks old tomorrow and would agree that the pain is a vague concept rather than specific memory. The human brain is a wonderful thing!

I'll try to explain as I really wanted to know specifics before I went into labour. I will caveat my comments by saying that my labour was very quick for a first baby and my only pain relief was a TENs machine (more due to having no time than me being double hard )

So contractions felt like a dull ache similar to trapped wind / period pain quite low in my abdomen initially. As they increased in intensity it became more difficult to stay relaxed as there wasn't much time between them to recover. Transition was harder, as I felt 'I can't cope ' but was over quickly. The urge to push was exactly like needing to do a poo but I started to push with no help as it was so soon after getting to hospital (I suspect the super-busy midwives thought I was a precious first timer until they realised I was fully dilated and really did need to push )

The pushing stage, once I had good direction from the midwife, was hard work but really focussed my mind. I could feel my baby moving down the birth canal and was motivated to push efficiently to get him out as quickly as possible. Crowning was very sore and I remember saying I couldn't do it at that point. My husband was key at this point being mu coach through it and reassuring me that I was doing a great job.

Once his head was out it only took a couple more pushes for his body to be born and the relief of his head being out meant the rest felt far easier.

Delivering the placenta was very quick (less than 10 minutes!) and I was breastfeeding at the time, which the midwife suggested might help. It didn't really feel like anything. I actually said to the midwife how easy it was after pushing my son out!

Agree with earlier posters that the examining / anaesthetising / stitching for my one 2nd degree tear was the worst pain. Very stingy and sharp soreness. I was sore sitting down for a few days afterwards and piles were quite painful (gone now with using cream) but I've been absolutely amazed how much any pain or discomfort pales into insignificance once you have your baby.

I know it's hard but do try not to work yourself up beforehand. I was very. 'what will be will be' and think that approach helped me during my labour. I appreciate I had an easier than average time, but wanted to share in case it's of any help to you.

Have you ever broken anything? I would rather give birth 10 times over than cope with the pain of a badly broken arm.

Just remember everything is geared up around you, you are in a hospital and you should get drugs if you want them.

And if it was that bad everyone would only ever have 1 dc

I think it's quite normal to brick it a bit. It's so difficult to know what to expect. When it's happening, though, it's quite a different situation from anything else you might have done - thinking of it as an emergency task that you have to put all your energy into while it's happening might help (it helped me anyway).

I was induced with both my babies (the last one a year ago). For me the contractions came on quite suddenly and felt like an intense radiation of pain in my pelvic bones as if someone was slowly pulling them apart - and I guess that is kind of what was happening. I found them much easier to deal with by walking around and counting my steps as I was having a contraction than when I had to be on my back for monitoring. That was the worst feeling so avoid it if you can.

I think productive pushing is kind of exhilarating because although it's intensely uncomfortable you really feel like you're getting somewhere. Crowning feels exactly as you would imagine it would I think. It bloody, bloody stings. But when the head pops out the blissful and immediate relief is almost worth the pain - i think it's the best feeling ever, personally. Afterwards you feel really amazing and not only because you get to meet your wonderful baby.

Good luck! Try to take it as it comes (tricky, I know!).

This thread is fascinating! I'm 23 weeks and have always been slightly phobic about birth...my mum had a bad back for years following a student giving her a clumsy epidural. This thread tells it how it is but isn't scaremongering. Exactly what I need to know...great posts, guys - and a great question. Keep 'em coming!

Hi there - it is so hard to try to describe it, as it is like nothing else. Mine started like mild period pains which got stronger and stronger. To be honest, it was more painful than anything I could have imagined. At the end, the contractions came one on top of another without a gap between. But you cope. I used G&A, and kind of went into myself. I can't remember feeling crowning at all. My LO came out all in one go, and that contraction was incredible - I genuinely had no choice about pushing, the urge was so strong I HAD to push. I had an episiotomy - I couldn't tell you how it felt as it was performed during the contraction when DD was born. I was worried beforehand about having an episiotomy as I am very squeamish, but it didn't bother me at all at the time. Can't remember the placenta coming out, I was too wrapped up in my beautiful baby!

Having the stiches was a walk in the park after labour. I could feel the pulling, and some mild pain, but really nothing to worry about.

An internal exam I had at about 2cm dilated was quite painful - a bit unexpected, I'd imagined it would feel like a smear but it didn't.

Hope that doesn't scare you - I do think it's better to be prepared as much a possible. And it is so worth it!

I'm never doing it again, sorry, and my bits are still in pieces.

But a friend wanted to do it again straight away.

So you need to get your head round the fact that the experience is largely out of your control, and you need to go with the flow. And just because it ends one way or another, doesn't mean you've 'done it wrong'.

I can't remember very much about having DS because I had pethidine, G&A and an epidural and I kind of didn't feel like I was really there. It was like it was all happening to someone else. I know I had an episiotomy and forceps delivery and screamed and cried the whole time but that's about it.

My experience of having DD - Contractions were like having a vice around my stomach and it being tightened strongly. Like a squeezing, crushing pain. The crowning stage is somewhere between being desperate for the loo and constipated, but the whole area feels like it's burning. I can't really remember the placenta coming out. I remember seeing it out of the corner of my eye and deciding I really didn't want to look at it properly.

I have made it sound awful, I do apologise. All I can say is, at the time, it was awful. But you don't care afterwards because all you can think about is the fact that you have a baby. You really do forget. No-one would have more than one child otherwise.

After dd (my first) was born, I realised I'd got off lightly when I compared notes with other mums. I was in labour for 11 hours, the last two of those were pushing with gas and air, then a forceps delivery when they realised she was back to back . The gas and air really seemed to do the job and I felt that the contractions were not half as bad as I was expecting them to be. The worst bit was when they were trying to get me to sit still to put the spinal block in but they had run out of gas and air and I just couldn't stay still through a contraction!

Ds was a whole different ball game. Had my first contraction at 1030pm, much more painful than the first time, and the tens machine lasted about ten minutes, whereas with dd I had managed with just the tens for ages. Had gas and air, waters went and felt the urge to push within the space of about two hours. Once the pain became too much I was offered pethidine. The midwife was about to inject it into my thigh and I heard her say 'oh, well we'll just do it anyway so that we can say we did' and ds was born! This was 315 am, so a really quick labour. When he was crowning I honestly thought I had died. I remember everything going dark, and I felt as though I was looking down at myself giving birth. I felt very calm and though to myself, 'oh well that's it then, I've died'!! I know I have never felt pain like it, but I could not now tell you how it felt (ds is nine months). I think you forget very quickly because you just can't imagine it's possible to feel such pain!

Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear, but it was quite cathartic putting it down in words At the end of the day, that baby has got to come out, the pain is temporary and look what you get at the end - well worth it!

I found it was a cross between period pains and diahorrea pains but much more painful. I found the recovery afterwards much worse than labour and birth! I'm only 7 weeks post birth but I'm ready to do it again!

Well, I look at it like this. Your womb is massive by nine months. And the womb does the contracting. When you have your period you get cramps. So it is like a period at the beginning of labour, but it feels worse because the womb is so much bigger, IYKWIM.
You can feel a contraction coming. Like a cramp, but all over the womb-which is pretty much all over your insides.
The cramp gets stronger, more painful...then starts to relax. You think, "thank goodness that one is over!"
My first was back to pain. I could feel the pain from my womb, but the pain in my back took over. It was bad,I'm not going to lie. By 8cms I took pethadine,which really took the edge off. I could still feel everything,stayed upright, but the pain was definitely more bearable.
With second, the contractions were as I described above, but I had an awful lot of pressure-he was nearly 11 lbs!
The pressure was unbearable tbh. Worse than the contractions, but I tried really hard to stay in control and listen to my body.
Crowning was no where near as bad as I thought it would be. I too was very nervous about this bit, tearing etc. But the midwife told me when to stop pushing, eased out baby's head, then a wee push and they were out!
The amazing thing I noticed both times,was that once you get to 10cms, and can start pushing, it helps greatly. You really can "push the pain away". And if you do nothing with a contraction, your body will do all for you. I could feel my body pushing the baby out,I was just helping it along!
Try not to get too panicked about labour. Everybody has a different experience. Just listen to your body, the hard bit is getting to 10cms IMO, then push that bad boy out- but don't push for crowning.
Easy, right?

Contractions - like going over speed bumps.
Birth - wobbly tooth. Not exactly sore but a bit uncomfortable.

Contractions felt like a bad period pain x 100.

I didn't have an epidural, just G&A and then a shot of pethedine (both births) so can't help on the epidural question!

Pushing was - well it was just weird, I barely remember it TBH and I think my body just took over and my brain went somewhere else for a bit! In fact a lot of my labours were that way - body working away, brain untethered and bouncing about somewhere else! (Does that sound scary? It shouldn't!)

Episiotomy? Well I know I had one, but it certainly didn't hurt (didn't even know they had done until after the baby was born!)

Crowning was - well it was pretty bad, stinging and fiery and I did quite a bit of shouting, but that was over in no time and then...then! I had my lovely lovely baby HOORAH!

Stitches - well it's not comfortable of course but I was so wrapped up in that baby,baby,baby, place that I don't think I gave it much thought!

I remember being very scared of giving birth before my first - I wound myself right up, read loads and loads - almost obsessively and scared the shit out of myself, so my advice is this..

After this thread is over, do not read anything else about childbirth!

I was also pretty worried about what it would be like and how I would cope.

The pain, I would say starts off like period pain, very low down, and also a bit like the braxton hicks I had been having for a few weeks. I was OK at home for a few hours with TENs etc. it was really at that stage fine, and I think I spend that part practising trying to consciously relax and breathe through them, in order to hoepfully be able to apply that later on.

I went to hosp and was already 7cm, so went straight to delivery, and into a pool.

After that it did get more intense, but I would say, whilst it is like nothing you have felt before, it is also in some ways a bit reminiscent of a really bad migraine, it comes in waves, it's very intense, but then fades for a bit, and you can't focus on anything else whilst it's happening. If you've not had bad migraines then that's no use at all, but it's what I felt like about it!

Then once pushing it wasn't so much the pain as the effort.

Everything was just fine as soona s she was out.

D

every experience is different

Pain for each contraction would be similar, then increase and they'd get more painful. And worse, sometimes they'd get less painful, not what you want.
Contractions - like really bad, pulsing, period pains. Transition - same but worse + vomiting and feeling scared. Pushing, stretching, like the worst constipation ever.
G&A only, and despite the above it was fine :) Worst thing about pain for me is worrying about it - pain is a bad thing, but when you're giving birth it is normal/usual, so worry was eliminated for me.
No episiotomy
No stitches
Delivery of placenta unremarkable - they push down on your stomach which hurts like erm...someone pushing on your stomach.
Most painful bit was pushing for me, but 'worst' bit was the leg cramp I got while pushing with DS - it went on for days afterwards :o

Good luck - likelihood is you will be fine as most women are. I wouldn't hvae another child but childbirth is not the reason why. If I wanted a 3rd, that would be the least of my worries.

yes I agree, when pushing the exhaustion is worst. I had minutes between contractoins and was actually falling asleep!

Contractions - the worst period pains ever. Like that sort of pain that makes you want to throw up (DS was back-to-back (& 9lb) so may have been worse because of that).

Pushing stage - immense pressure in surges, my body did it all itself, amazing, makes you shout out in an "aaggghhhh"!!!!" sort of way, I found

Birth - stinging, burning, ouch ouch pain.

Hope that helps?!! I had no pain relief btw.

I agree with Santa broken bone hurts soon much more. G&A is great . I found 1st stage quite .easy to cope.with. The break s between contractions are lovely. Second.stage was.harder.for me because the pain didn't really go away. The pain when aI broke.my collar bone.was.awful I just cried and cried, I would have done.anything.to make it go away.

See Ive broken bones and it was a walk in the park compared to birth. Difference again may have been DS was B2B which meant the pain was constant as he tried to turn. Contraction on top of contraction. Because of this I found the first stage the most difficult to cope with.

All different arent we!