Struggling with likely inoperable cancer diagnosis while waiting for confirmation

[EmeraldJeanie]

I'm struggling. My husband is in hospital and been told after MRI likely inoperable cancer. If confirmed (biopsy Tuesday and they seem certain) then week til confirmation of something they are sure about and then chemo/ palliative care. Also procedure on Monday before biopsy Tuesday.
He looks the fittest man on the ward. He walked 15,000 steps round the hospital grounds yesterday. He is masking for our boys - sixth form and university age but talking about finances/ dignitas with me.
I am signed off work with stress. We are both late 50s.
This is all rather outing for anyone who knows me but perhaps that doesn't matter.
I need to buck up. I am losing weight and slim anyway. This limbo awful and yet knowing for sure will be awful too.

So very sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you snd your children. X

I am so very sorry for your loss.

We have just lost our 59 year old friend to cancer, he was diagnosed only 7 weeks ago.

Sending you and your family love and strength x

My wife and I lost our 13yo son in 2006. Our two other sons, now 26 and 28 speak of him often so he will never be forgotten by any of us, at least while they live too. He was life limited from birth with heart and liver issues but rode the creast of a technalogical and research driven wave that allowed us the privilege of knowing him as a young adult. We still miss him daily. Never a day goes by without a little kiss of a photo of him on our fridge, taken on a fabulous holiday with his younger brothers in Ireland, Switzerland, Germany. I was not always as patient as I should have been with him but the only memories I have are joyous ones. Be kind to yourself and unafraid to speak of your husband to friends. I remember people would cross the street to avoid us and potential conversations about his passing but I would follow them and engage sympathetically. Most people are just too traumatised to know what to say to you,l but you can keep his memory alive just by speaking honestly and openly, even sometimes sharing a smile about a happy memory.
We foster now, and try to re-create the love we had for our boy in our home for children who have often lived appalling lives in appalling conditions. You and you husband have raises adults and they will always be your happy reminder of a life well lived but ended too soon. My sincerest condolences to you, your children and wider family and friends.x

So very sorry for your loss. Xx

I’m so sorry for your loss 💐

Such a sad time for you and your family .In time you can keep thinking about the wonderful times you all had .In the meantime I hope you find time to get together with family and friends and be able to get some comfort.

So sorry @EmeraldJeanie I lost my husband in very similar circs and on a similar timeline, we had boys aged 13 & 16 at the time.

Sending you so much love.

Sat here crying for you OP so
sorry for your loss

I have no words that will bring any comfort but I am truly sorry for your heartbreaking loss

I’m so sorry for your loss @EmeraldJeanie

So sorry for your loss. Sending love to you and your family.

I am so sorry 💐

Sorry for your loss💐

Am so very sorry for your loss. The speed of how quickly cancer consumes and defeats can be horrific. My father went through similar to your husband. Cancer is the worst, have been through it myself, (and am the first in my family to not die within six months of diagnosis). I really do feel for you and your boys.

Sending you all good wishes and much love.

Godspeed

So sorry op sending huge hugs and love xxxxx

I am so, so sorry for your loss. Sending you and your boys all my love and strength. Take care of yourselves, be kind to yourselves.

I’m so sorry for your loss, thinking of you and your family at this awful time.

Sending you, your boys and everyone who loves your DH so much love and strength. It is always such a shock, even when you are expecting it.
I hope that in time the good memories comfort you. Please don’t berate yourself about times you felt you were imperfect. No real relationship is perfect all the time. Your love for him shone through every post. ❤️

I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I had better words. Sending you and your family strength. Please look after yourself

I am so sorry.

Sorry to hear your sad news OP. Hope you find RL support as well as from all of us on this site.
Cancer can be such a cruel disease.
Please look after yourself and don't be afraid to ask for practical and emotional support for yourself and your family.

Your pinned post caught my breath. I am so sorry for your loss ❤️

So sorry. Sending strength and love.

Emerald, so sorry to hear your darling Husband died yesterday. My condolences to you and your boys. Look no further forward than one moment at a time. 💐