Struggling with likely inoperable cancer diagnosis while waiting for confirmation

[EmeraldJeanie]

I'm struggling. My husband is in hospital and been told after MRI likely inoperable cancer. If confirmed (biopsy Tuesday and they seem certain) then week til confirmation of something they are sure about and then chemo/ palliative care. Also procedure on Monday before biopsy Tuesday.
He looks the fittest man on the ward. He walked 15,000 steps round the hospital grounds yesterday. He is masking for our boys - sixth form and university age but talking about finances/ dignitas with me.
I am signed off work with stress. We are both late 50s.
This is all rather outing for anyone who knows me but perhaps that doesn't matter.
I need to buck up. I am losing weight and slim anyway. This limbo awful and yet knowing for sure will be awful too.

Sending so much love, I’m so sorry x x

So very sorry for your loss

I'm so sorry. One step at a time. Focus on the next 15 mins. X

I am so sorry you are having to face this.

You might want to think of nominating one person to run a WhatsApp for friends for you so you can give them updates and they can then deal with posting and fielding questions. It

One thing I found really hard was people phoning and having to repeat the same information time after time. it comes from love, but it can be exhausting .

On a practical note get your OH to write down passwords he might have for things like bank accounts, Amazon , insta, Facebook, PayPal etc. you might know them already but the more you have the easier it will be to close them if you want .

There are no words, but I'm so so sorry for your loss. Sending love xxxx

I have just read your update. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

So sorry for your loss

Oh goodness, what a traumatic shock and loss for you and your family. Life can be dreadfully cruel and unfair. Please know you are not alone. Big hugs. And take it minute by minute. We are here if you feel like chatting

No words from a stranger will soothe your shock and grief. Sending love anyway, for you and your family. 🧡

Omg op I’m so sorry for your loss. Big hugs.

Im so sorry.

Please be gentle with yourself. Your original post said you need to 'buck up' - you don't. However you feel is ok.

You will be showing your boys that its ok to grieve, and that is a powerful lesson xxx

I am so sorry for you and your children x

I am so very sorry for your loss. ❤️💐

I stumbled upon this thread and couldn’t read and run - sending love and light, big hugs, I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now.

There are no words which can help at this time, but am adding my condolences.
I am so sorry.
My DH died quickly 3 years ago when our children were 19 and 21.
I wish I could say that time heals. It doesn’t always, but you get better at managing and are able to get back some semblance of a normal, although very different, life.
I wish you and your DC strength.

I am so sorry for you and your children.

So sorry for your loss. Wishing you strength to get through thd coming days. Xx

I am so sorry.

SO very sorry for you and your family wishing you strength x

I’m so sorry. Sending you lots of love.

Very sad to hear this. We are all thinking of you of you.

So sorry. Do be kind to yourself when you can.

I’m so sorry for your loss OP. I went through something similar with my DH a few years ago - like you in my late fifties. Only a few days between him being diagnosed with cancer, and actually passing away. No sign of anything wrong right up to when he collapsed and was rushed to hospital.

It’s so very hard to accept - you don’t have time to get your head around what’s happening before the end comes. You’ll go through a rollercoaster of emotions in the next few months OP. I appreciate that you have to be there for your family but make sure you have someone you can talk to and lean on a little. Do you have family near ?

On a practical note, there is a tell us once service which saves you endless phone calls informing everyone who needs to know. Ask the registrar about it when you go to register. There is also a wonderful bereavement support website called ‘WayUp’. Link is below. I found it invaluable in the weeks and months that followed my loss. All of the users are registered and verified, and there to support you through. They’re all at various stages of the bereavement journey so there is a wealth of support there.

Once again I’m so very sorry for your loss, and I’m sending you a virtual hug at what must be a very difficult time. Take care.

https://way-up.co.uk/

I’m so very sorry for your loss.
Big hugs and lots of love

Isn’t it hard to believe that a healthy looking man can do 15,000 steps in a day and then be gone just three weeks later .
There but for the Grace of God.
@EmeraldJeanie i hope you are managing and you are supporting/being supported by your two boys. They are the future now. Sending ❤️