Can’t sleep,Possibly breast cancer and feeling frightened

[Rockschooldropout]

I’m 52 and on hrt so when I noticed my left breast felt a bit tender recently I put it down to hormones.Ive been a bit negligent with checking my boobs as I’ve had some heart issues and then my DDad died in April

However I noticed over the course of the last week , my left boob swelling before my eyes , the veins have become prominent and the side and nipple area became very tender . I managed to get a gp appointment this morning and after examining me she said she didn’t like the look of it as my skin is puckered and there’s an obvious quite large ill defined lump near my areola. She’s refered me on the 2 week pathway and I’ve made the mistake of falling down the Google hellhole of inflammatory cancer .
This evening DD came to give me a cuddle and rested her head on the side of my boob and it was painful - I’m not feeling very optimistic at the moment ..

I agree this is strange - I had a lumpectomy in the end but I dithered for a while and they would have let me have SMX although only 1 out of 4 quadrants affected. Surgeon told me that someone once with very small lump in one breast elected to have DMX as they didn't want to deal with the onward worry, and he agreed. He said it's what people can live with and he would go with those wishes.

@DelilahRay That’s interesting as my specialist was not interested at all , however I’m yet to meet with the surgeon who may have other views .
I must admit the worry of it returning in my other breast is already in the back iv my mind .
Im going to discuss all the options with the surgeon .
The specialist offered me a lumpectomy but my cancer is in all 4 quadrants of my breast and she said it would be very difficult to get clear margins.

Update from me - saw my surgeon who was lovely , she said although it’s quite extensive she’d be happy to attempt lumpectomy but warned that would mean I’d definitely need radiotherapy which with my heart is something she’s not keen on and she said they couldn’t guarantee I’d ultimately not end up with a mastectomy .
unfortunately she’s ruled out implant reconstruction as she’s not happy to have me on the operating table any longer than I need to be , so I’m on the list for a single Mx and it will be within 4 weeks

Good news you at least have a firmer timescale now. Sorry to hear she has ruled out reconstruction as I know that was what you wanted but sounds like there is a good possibility of a lumpectomy?

I'm sorry to jump on this thread, but wanted to ask if anyone knows if you can request they are both whipped off?
I've been diagnosed with cancer in one breast and they've just discovered two areas 'of concern' in the other.

At this point in my life I'd just rather they were both gone!!!
.

I think it depends on the surgeon but at my hospital you can and they will certainly consider it

@drivinmecrazy Sadly they won’t do it at my hospital , Are they biopsying the areas of concern
?
@SparklingPinot lumpectomy is off the table as my cardiologist does not think my heart will stand radiotherapy

Sorry to hear this @Rockschooldropout
i will say I had a mastectomy and auxiliary lymph node clearance & the mastectomy was fine. I thought I’d never come to terms with my new body but you will be amazed how quickly it becomes the new normal. Hope you are okay & coming to terms with things xx

Hi @Rockschooldropout I have just DM'd you x

When was your surgery ?
how has your recovery been ? Did you stay flat ?
They are going to do a SNB biopsy at the same time .. praying the nodes are clear ..

Rockschooldropout they did a biopsy then and there on one area but couldn't get to the second.

Depending on that result I might be referred to another hospital for an MRI lead biopsy.

I'm extremely lucky that they are being so thorough but frustrated that we might be back to square one again regarding treatment.

Honestly it's all exhausting.

I'm at hospital in a few hours for my pre op appointment.

I must admit I'm already worn down by it all and it has only been a few weeks.

Luckily I don't work so have the time to focus on this.

I'm finding DH is losing a bit of empathy to a certain extent.

He works a full on week, often six days a week so I know it's taking its toll.

That's the thing I fucking hate about this, how it's putting out so many people and affecting their lives too.
I so wish it wasn't.

I hate to see my DDs and DH having to deal with something that I'm essentially putting them through 😢

The constant waiting for results , further tests and more results is draining so I completely understand .. when is your surgery booked for ?
It all depends on the hospital but if you feel strongly , then there’s no harm in asking iv you can have a bi lateral mx . X

Probate was granted on my fathers estate yesterday so I’m
now emptying his house in earnest and arranging the auction. It’s probably a good thing as means aside from work I’m not sat around worrying about my cancer

Update: I’m going in first thing Monday morning for a mastectomy and SNB and then will be looking at chemotherapy afterwards

Wishing you the very best of luck for Monday.

@Rockschooldropout just read your full thread. Very sorry to hear what you've been through.

All the very best for Monday. I hope it goes well and your recovery is smooth.

Good luck op.

All the best Monday. I had a mastectomy on Friday and came round pain free. Pain has been well managed and is minimal. 2 days on I’m pottering gently and with lots of naps.
if you’re likely to need drains do make sure you have a few pairs of PJs as I’ve had the odd leak. 🙄

ive put a couple of extra pillows on the bed in an inverted v so that I can sleep propped up, which helps. I did need help in the night the first night back to get sat up so I could pop to the loo. Dh put his hand between my scapulae and raised me up like a mummy.

you’ve got this. We’ll all be thinking of you. Xx

Have been following the thread and just wanted to add my good wishes too OP.

Glad it all went well for you - take it easy now , the next step is results from surgery x

currently awake terrified I’m going to die in the operating table (huge fear of GA)

💐

Oh bless you. I had a migraine stress headache the day before. Tell the consultant / anaesthetist your fears, mine were comforting but also gave me lots of useful science information to help me rationalise.

I wish you a smooth journey through today xx

this too will pass and you will be further on the road to recovery.

They were lovely - they could see I was scared to rearranged theatres to put me first on the list . Anesthetist told me she had no
plans of me dying as it was too much paperwork 🤣

was a bit sore on coming round but they gave me fentanyl and from that point pain was fairly mild if any .. I came home last night .. quite sore and decrepit feeling today but I’m pottering round and I’ve done my arm exercises . My surgeon has done an incredibly neat job .

Well done that Surgeon! @Rockschooldropout and well done you for rallying.

That is the hardest bit done. DONE.

Now you just have to keep on keeping and on and taking each day gently and kindly.