I'm 5foot 2 and weigh 14stone 8lb

[TellysAndWellys]

How did this happen. I am so, so ashamed of myself. I used to weigh in 13 stone, then overhauled my whole diet and got down to 9stone 8lb.

But I've put it all back on. And so much more. This is shameful and I cannot believe I have let it get this bad. I've even had to buy some size 20 tops. I have tried slimming world but that didn't really
Work for me. So I'm back to calorie counting. And 5:2. From today. I've got to stop making excuses. I am going on an amazing holiday in January with my 2 best friends and. CAN'T be the size I am now.

I am sick of feeling tired, uncomfortable and just plain shit because of what I eat. I've taken before photos (won't post them as they would scar you forever) and have stuck a photo of myself at my smallest when I still thought I looked fat on the fridge for inspiration. I can do this!!!

Morning @Iampert. Date was good! We went for the milkshake (which was huge but really sickly) then we went a gin bar for a couple. I really enjoyed it. I really like him and can feel myself falling for him but I really don't know if he feels the same way. He goes on holiday on Sunday then obviously I go away so might not see him for a few weeks. I asked him if he was free Saturday night and he said he wasn't sure as he said he'd help his mate with moving house or something, but then said oh Saturday night, thought you said Saturday day and yeah I'll definitely make some time to see you before our holidays. So I'll just leave it at that and see if I seem him on Saturday. He's very attentive, sweet and touchy feeing (stroking my arm and hair etc) so I THINK he likes me too but then I've got a paranoid brain thinking oh, he's probably going off me.But I'm not sure if that's just my anxiety talking? Anyway, for now all I can say is it was really good and he's really lovely!
I've been up being sick since 6 :( first day back at work today as well. Wasn't going to go in but I volunteered as ds is with his dad so thought I might as well save my annual leave and now I'm throwing up :( got no choice but to go in as I am on a warning for my sickness and I'll be only one in the office but I just feel terrible.

Anyway, god that was a long post. How are you?

Oooo sounds good telly!! Try not to stress about it. I know that’s hard though but it’s early days so try to relax and see!

Ooo where are you off go on hols?

Sorry you are unwell! You poor thing :-( I hope that doesn’t last. What’s a warning for sickness? Is that cause you’ve had too many days off? How unfair.

I’m ok thank you. Also working today and tomorrow but from Home so not too bad. I’m fighting off a cold and feeling totally exhausted after a busy couple of days. I’m also feeling very annoyed and a bit panicked - I’ve gained another 3 lbs over Xmas so that’s 6 in total and most of that is fat, not baby. I look And feel awful so am going to try and be good today. I am so worried I’ll put loads of weight on and never be able to lose it afterwards!

Yeah just really trying not to stress, I think it's because I like him. It makes me nervous that I'll get hurt. But we will see. Trying to relax.

I'm on my lunch, not having anything though as I actually ate my lunch at 10am I am going to weigh myself Saturday morning but I am dreading it. It's so hard isn't it?

It’s a flipping nightmare. Today I ate some leftover pasta with loads of veg in for lunch, and then I scoffed 4 chocolate biscuits do absolutely no reason other than I decided I may as well finish them off!!! I wasn’t even hungry. I am useless.

Feeling headachey and snotty and grumpy now. Can’t believe I’ve got to socialise tonight and cook for in laws tomorrow night. Gahhhhh!!

I am just eating everything in sight :( I've completely and utterly fallen back into my old ways. Just scoffing crisps/chocolate/bread/cheese plus fattening meals on top. It's disgusting.

Feel a little bit dissapointed in the new man. He messaged me and said 'bad news, helping my friend move on saturday'. What, all day and night?!? I had already told him I wasn't free til the evening and the other night he said he'd definitely come down even if I was a hour as we aren't going to be able to see each other for a few weeks due to us both being away. But if he can't make the effort then he obviously doesn't see me the way I see him. So now I feel really sad and pissed off which I know sounds stupid but can't help it :( fucking men

Oh it’s so hard at this time of year. I am too scared to stand in the scales this morning. Last night was awful.

I’m in bed pretending to work but have a stinking cold and feel awful :-(

Oh that is rubbish about online man!!!!!! D
P

Oops dropped my phone and it posted!

That really sucks but try not to feel down - clearly he’s mot the one for you. You’ve had some fun though so nothing bad came of it and now it’s time to draw a line under it and get back online. Easier said than done I know.

This morning I've had
2 bags of walkers crisps
Half a big grab bag of matesers
A can of coke
2 chocolate biscuits.

Absolutely disgusting and just eating through boredom. Need to get an absolute grip of myself, feel so sick and lethargic now. Need eat a carrot or something!

So I replied to online man with quite a passive agressive text (so unlike me ) and he replied saying he was sorry, he agreed with his friend last week so can't
Let him down but if he gets away early enough he'll me know but if not we'll arrange something for when we're back. So feel slightly better about it. I suppose we've only been on 4 dates and did spend all Wednesday evening together so it's not the end if the world. We will see what happens over the next few weeks anyway.

Oh no to the cold :( stay in bed for as long as you can, take some paracetamol and drink as many fluids as your pregnant bladder can muster x

I’m not much better.

I’ve had a piece of chocolate orange, 3 small sausage rolls and a miniature apple tarte tatin (made a big one for dinner tonight when in laws are over and there was some left so I made a mini one!). Healthy!!!!

At least he had replied! I still think you should be doing some online flirting though ;-). No point putting all your eggs in one basket just yet!

Argh
I'm eating my tea at this time ! 😂
Will have to get a can of Pepsi max later to tide me over, long walk and early night to avoid breaking 😭😭

And I have enough milk allowance for 2 strong cups of tea

Come home and had 2 cheese rolls and ANOTHER bag of crisps. My mates coming round soon for a takeaway and wine

Have a lovely time with your in-laws tonight!

Yeah he's still really chatty and says he will
miss me and we've arranged to go out on th first night I'm back so just going try to relax and not stress. I've deleted my profile online, it really isn't for me. My anxiety can't take it, constantly checking if people have replied and things. Silly brain 😔

@caremummy I ate my dinner at 10 yesterday!

13 stone 1lb. I have eaten like a pig though but aghhh. Shameful

Well today hasn’t been brill but not a disaster either.

I had a small ham salad sandwich on a thin wholemeal flatbread, a few crisps, and three bits of choc orange. Then tonight I had a chicken burger and chips (no bun) with some green veg. So not ideal but better than it has been over Xmas!

How have you got on today?

Hi everyone- I've been missing for the last two months.

I just went off the rails and ate everything in sight - feel terrible now, almost all of my clothes are really snug and I even had to buy a pair of jeans a size bigger. I've put on half a stone and I feel that my weight depresses me, but it's a vicious circle- feel down, eat, get fatter, feel down etc...

Anyway I've got back on my fitness pal and 1000 - 1200 calories daily, trying hard to avoid carbs in the evening too, started Friday but didn't weigh myself until this morning 11st 4lb

I hope everyone else is doing a bit better than me!

Happy new year both!

Welcome back @CamdenTownie

I am not doing better I’m afraid. I stood on the scales - 11 st 12 today. I was 11st 9 before Christmas. I was 11st 6 before I got pregnant so I was ok with the 3lb gain but the extra 3 needs to go. Today won’t help - I’m on the sofa being as lazy as possible and stuffing my face. We are having pizza tonight as a final treat before the serious diet starts tomorrow.

It horrifies me to think I was 10st 8 just 6 months ago :-(. Whyyyyy do I let this happen!!

Would like to join also. Have put in sooo much weight due to a combination of stress, antidepressants and general binge eating. Hate being like this. I look pregnant again but DD3 is 1 year old. Havent managed to ever stick at a diet for long. Is 5:2 easy to do? What else would people recommend?

Don't be too hard on yourself @lampert - your body's doing such a great job!

I do know where you're coming from thought, this time last year I was around 9st 11lb

I'm not sure about 5:2, because it seems like such a tiny amount of food even though it is just two days out of seven, I might give it a try, what do you eat on the 500 cal days? I think I'd have to do it on really busy days to stop me accidentally eating!

Hi @trufflehumper - my fitness pal is a good tool, I'd also recommend weighing everything- it's surprisingly easy to over estimate your portions - in the worst for this!

I'd also recommend planning everything you're going to eat at least the day before, so you can make sure you have what you need and then you'll be less likely to go off track

Thanks @camden am worried that weighing may be a bit time consuming. I need something simple I can fit into a ft job and three kids under 7 kind of lifestyle!!

@trufflehumper I found 5:2 quite restrictive in that i really felt deprived on a 500 cal day! But (before I got pregnant) I would try to have just one meal a day and have fruit / lots of drinks at other times to fill me up. It’s hard for a few days while I adapt to eating less but then it helps me recognise when I’m actually hungry rather than just eating out of habit! I guess it’s a form of fasting.

Thanks @lampert I wonder if feeling hungry would spur me into bingeing... I am sure I have forgotten what feeling hungry feels like

Maybe try Slimming world @trufflehumper of you can't commit to weighing out your portions.

It does work and is much more relaxed than calorie counting- I lost 3 stone in a year on Slimming world, but I've put half of that back on. The key with SW is to keep changing your meals and cook everything from scratch, or it gets very repetitive and boring.

Wel im not posting because I’ve been hopeless and don’t want to share my horrendousness and demotivate anyone else.

Today has not been too bad (though I’m just off out for dinner) and tomorrow I’m going to embarrass myself at my first ever yoga class so hopefully that will keep me on the straight and narrow tomorrow!