I'm 5foot 2 and weigh 14stone 8lb

[TellysAndWellys]

How did this happen. I am so, so ashamed of myself. I used to weigh in 13 stone, then overhauled my whole diet and got down to 9stone 8lb.

But I've put it all back on. And so much more. This is shameful and I cannot believe I have let it get this bad. I've even had to buy some size 20 tops. I have tried slimming world but that didn't really
Work for me. So I'm back to calorie counting. And 5:2. From today. I've got to stop making excuses. I am going on an amazing holiday in January with my 2 best friends and. CAN'T be the size I am now.

I am sick of feeling tired, uncomfortable and just plain shit because of what I eat. I've taken before photos (won't post them as they would scar you forever) and have stuck a photo of myself at my smallest when I still thought I looked fat on the fridge for inspiration. I can do this!!!

So date is arranged for next Saturday! It's a long time away though so anything could
Happen between now and then and I might be going on another date this weekend. I'm just worried they're going to be disappointed in me because of my weight. I don't have any full length photos... hopefully my stunning good looks and sparkling wit will please them 😂

The bump won't be long, mine just popped out one day! In the mean time could you maybe get a few new bits. Not a whole
Wardrobe but maybe a work skirt or trousers?

I've had a terrible day today, crisps, chocolate bar, sandwich (white bread) fizzy pop and a few heroes 😭🙈 back on it seriously tomorrow, holiday is on the horizon and got a hot date to look forward to!

Oooooo @TellysAndWellys, a date!! That’s exciting! Well done you!

I’ve taken your advice and ordered a stretchy skirt for work and a pair of maternity Spanx.

I had toast for breakfast, a go ahead bar, chilli and brown rice for lunch, a double decker, an apple, and chicken, courgette and quinoa for dinner. Oh dear oh dear!!!!!!!!

Yeah it is exciting! Hopefully seeing someone on Saturday and someone else on Tuesday. Never ever done the whole 'dating' thing before, feel like a player!

Haha love me a pair of Spanx. Although I have an HORRENDOUS memory of getting mine stuck in a Wetherspoons in Manchester when I was 18. I was desperate for a wee and could not for the life of me get them down, they were so tight. In the end I started crying, my friend heard me and came and pulled them down for me. But hopefully that won't happen to you hopefully they'll just make you feel a bit more comfortable in yourself for the next few weeks.

I am back ON IT today. I've put it in capitals to emphasise how ON IT I am going to be. Because I've done nothing but scoff since Friday. Jacket potato and beans for tea tonight, 3 litres of water today!

Ooooo maybe 2 dates, I love it!! Go you!!!

Oh god I’d better not get stuck in the Spanx 😂😂

Good for you being on it! I had a slice of brown toast for brekky, leftover chicken and quinoa for lunch and Prob chilli and rice leftovers tonight. I may treat myself to some hula hoops today but I’ll try to avoid them as I know we will have a Christmas tin of celebrations in our team meeting today! (And there’s only 4 of us from my team in the office today!!)

Chinese takeaway. I shall say no more 😬😬😬

Yep I'm excited! But very nervous already.

Cannot even put into words how many calories I have consumed today

If you get stuck in your Spanx sound the emergency thread klaxon and I'll come and rescue you!!

I'm just going to finish off the family bag of monster munch. Then go and cry into my pillow haha

Well today has been a bit carb heavy but otherwise ok. I have put on so much weight, I was too scared to stand in the scales this morning so I didn’t, but I reckon about 5lbs in the last three weeks. I’ll pluck up the courage for tomorrow morning.

Having dinner at my mum’s tonight so that will make sure it’s healthy and that I don’t eat too much, yay!!

How are you @TellysAndWellys?

Fingers crossed t won't be anywhere near that bad. And if it is, you can lose it. I'm not going weigh myself Saturday, I cannot take the shame!

Well I had nothing all day because I just didn't feel hungry then a bloody Nando's for dinner!! So massive chips, rice, veggie burger, 2 glasses of Coke and a bit of garlic bread. Got another xmas do tomorrow as well so it's just not going well.

But I'm ok. Just feel a bit despondent again. I just get so anxious at times, just with my weight and my whole 'I'm going be alone forever' I need to get a grip, I'm just tired. I've had a long day at work, the snows meant to be really bad so that might ruin all my weekend plans and I'm feeling really anxious about my date Saturday. That he's going to see me and be disappointed/think I'm really fat. But I have spells like this, been the same for as long as I can remember. Going to have a nice long bath with candles, a trashy mag and music and hopefully snap out of it.

God I'm such a bore, sorry to be so depressive

How are you feeling today? Enjoy tea with your mum

Ooo Nando’s sounds nice. I quote like going to Nando’s when I’m healthy eating because I can have a chicken breast, ratatouille and salad with perinaise and it feels naughty but it isn’t. Not as easy if you’re veggie though!

Don’t feel despondent. Just think about how much better you feel than when you started this.

Saturday will be a change of scenery if nothing else and if you don’t like each other then you’ve lost absolutely nothing at all. You just can’t tell til you’ve met.

I just stood on the scales and I’m +6lb. Nightmare. I’m always 1-2lbs heavier at night but SIX.... so cross with myself :-(

I have been quite good today, yay! Just on my way into London to meet friends for pizza though - not so good!! But yummy!

What are you up to? All set for the big date tomorrow!!?

Have you abandoned me @TellysAndWellys ;-) ?

Happy Monday @Iampert. Sorry for the silence I've had a manic weekend. How have you been?
How was London? My friend sent me a photo last night from her flat and the snow looked so pretty.
I've had a terrible weekend food wise, eating what I want when I was. Pizza, chips, cake, quality street, bread. Loads and loads. Had to have the day off work today as ds's school was shut so stuffed my face again but from tomorrow I'm
Back on it.
Date didn't happen he was coming from a hour away and the snow was just too bad. It's been rearranged for this Saturday though so we will see. He seems keen and we've been texting, not sure if I should suggest speaking on the phone or is that weird? He seems really lovely though but of course so can anyone. If Saturday doesn't happen then I'll leave it. But I am supposed to be going out tomorrow with someone from my town. We've been messaging back and forth
Anyway, hope you're doing ok in this pesky snow!!

Sounds like a yummy weekend @TellysAndWellys! I’m glad you haven’t abandoned me though ;-)

Shame about your date but understandable in the weather! We stayed with friends on Saturday and it took us 6 hours to get Home on Sunday, nightmare!

I spoke to my DH on the phone before we met, l think I just nervously giggled a lot and he chatted and asked me lots of questions. As long as one of you is outgoing enough to generate some convo it might make you feel more at ease!

Oooo are you looking forward to tonight’s date? How exciting! I’m impressed with your effort to go out though, I’m so cold I just want to hibernate!

I am making no progress weight wise, just losing and regaining the same two pounds. Sigh!

No I'm still here, I'll never abandon ship even if I have abandoned all hope of ever being thin!

We're are chatting lots by text and I am starting to really like him but it's not real is it? Not until we meet anyway. And I googled where he lives earlier and it's a hour and 15 minutes from mine. That is so, so far! But I'm really looking forward to meeting him!

The date tonight went well, had a little kiss at the end. He's a bit... dim though. He asked me if the twin towers were still standing outs self to every single one of my friends. But he seems lovely and sweet and we didn't stop talking so who knows. Really want to see how it goes on Saturday

I haven't dared weigh myself. I can't face it. Today I've had a jacket potato and beans for dinner then 3 cocktails for tea

Ooooooooooo @TellysAndWellys a kiss on a first date!!!!! Hehe!

To be honest, even if he is a bit dim and it has no hope of going anywhere, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I dated someone I knew I’d never ever be in a relationship ship with, but we saw each other once a week for a couple of months and I enjoyed his company and we had some enjoyable evenings out and in! I just made sure I was totally honest with him about where I thought it was going nowhere and it gave me a confidence boost and a chance of scenery to ease myself back into single life / dating!

Meh and hour and 15 isn’t ideal but it’s hardly disastrous - he might be worth it!!

I’ve started today with water biscuits and a peppermint tea but I can already feel it’s going to go downhill. Am frozen walking to the office and it’s just started pissing it down so inevitably I’ll want something hot at lunch and my goof salad related intentions will fly out of the window!

I know, my mother would be so ashamed haha.

Yeah I think I'm going be honest and say I'm not looking for anything serious even though I desperately am. He seems really lovely but definitely not the one for me. However I am really excited about my date Saturday night, we are getting on so well. But I might just be building it up to something

Mmmm I love peppermint tea. Going dig out the packet I've got in the cupboard. I have yet again had a terrible day. Sandwich, crisps and a can of Fanta for dinner, Chinese for tea. I just CANNOT get my head into it. And tomorrow is breakfast Thursday at work. Going to resist and just try my hardest for the next two days.

Did you dry out from the rain. I got soaked nipping out on my lunch to buy the sandwich! It was so not worth it.

How did you get on today? I have not been good at all. My dinner was fine but earlier today I accidentally consumed a cream cake. And I wonder why I’m a fatty. I am massively bloated and feel like someone’s inflated a balloon in my belly so I guess that’s my punishment!!

I am so pleased tomorrow is Friday! We are away this weekend but hoping the lack of alcohol will help me be sensible foodwise. I have got a couple of cans of Appletise and flavoured san pelligrino as my treat drinks when everyone else is on the champagne though! Full of sugar mind you...

What’s the plan for the big date on sat?

Morning! How are you @iampert? I had my second date with online guy last night. It was good. Really really good, way better then I thought it would be. He's still a bit dim but we did not stop laughing all night. He came to mine and we watched a film. He left about 2 cough cough. So now I've started with my paranoia that he's not going like me now. Ahhh I have a silly brain!

Thursday was so so. I had some cheese on toast at work for breakfast/dinner. I then had a jacket potato and beans for tea. But I had loads of butter on it and ate several quality street as well!

Hahaha I love 'accidentally consumed a cream cake'. That happens to me all the time to, these accidents keep happening. Someone should we do something about it.

Hope you're having a lovely weekend away. I'm really looking forward to my first date with online guy number 2 tonight although 2 dates in two evenings is not like me. I've been on about 4 dates in my entire life!! I will let you know how it goes

Oh and I'm going to weigh myself now for the first time in weeks. Absolutely dreading it.

12 stone 12lb!!

Ooooo @TellysAndWellys did you misbehave with this man?! Hehe!

Good for you having a second date, I’m so pleased you had a good time!

Oooo what’s the plan for the date tonight?

Today I’ve had a cooked breakfast and 2 shortbread biscuits so far. Not good! I feel a bit like I’m on holiday this weekend though! Hehe.

Enjoy tonight!! Hope weighing yourself was ok this morning!

Oops I missed the update - well done!!!!!!!

Morning @Iampert. I really did misbehave . Shameful.

Went on first date with other online man. He is LOVELY. Oh wow I got proper butterflies with him. The date lasted from about 6.30- after midnight. It was really good. He dropped me off at home, we had a littler kiss (I know, I know), I got out the car.... and fell flat on my face He had to get out and help me up. Mortified.

How are you doing? I had a chippy dinner yesterday, but didn't have anything else. Except alcohol ha. But today's plan is veggie sausages, with a heap of veg and a teeny bit of mash potato for tea. Just going to try and stick to one healthy meal a day.

Ooooo @TellysAndWellys I’ve been looking forward to your update this morning!!

Wow I’m so glad you had a good time last night! He was worth the wait then! Bad luck about falling on your face, but sometimes these things happen and you just have to see the funny side! Hehe.

I hope you hear from him today!

Have you heard from local guy again? No harm in an occasional bit of misbehaving, sometimes we all need a bit of fun eh!!

I’ve just had bubble and squeak, bacon and beans for breakfast! Clearing up the house now and then we’ll be off Home for an afternoon of ironing, tv and wrapping presents!!

He text me when he got back to say he was home safe and thanks for a lovely evening. I text him when I got up this morning st 9.30 but haven't heard off him yet so not sure if that's a bad thing or not. I mean, we usually text throughout the day. He could be asleep i suppose but it's been a few hours so I'm not holding out much hope to be honest . He's usually pretty quick with his replies :(

Yeah spoke to him this morning!

I'm still lazing in bed. I need to get up for food but it's just so comfy!

Still no text! So I'm off out with my sister for a hour and will leave my phone at home. Just feel so disappointed :( this is why I'm not cut out for this dating life. I can't hack it