I'm 5foot 2 and weigh 14stone 8lb

[TellysAndWellys]

How did this happen. I am so, so ashamed of myself. I used to weigh in 13 stone, then overhauled my whole diet and got down to 9stone 8lb.

But I've put it all back on. And so much more. This is shameful and I cannot believe I have let it get this bad. I've even had to buy some size 20 tops. I have tried slimming world but that didn't really
Work for me. So I'm back to calorie counting. And 5:2. From today. I've got to stop making excuses. I am going on an amazing holiday in January with my 2 best friends and. CAN'T be the size I am now.

I am sick of feeling tired, uncomfortable and just plain shit because of what I eat. I've taken before photos (won't post them as they would scar you forever) and have stuck a photo of myself at my smallest when I still thought I looked fat on the fridge for inspiration. I can do this!!!

Ohhh don’t panic, perhaps he’s just trying to play it cool. Don’t text him again whatever you do!!

I’m being so lazy today. Can’t seem to move from the sofa...

So he text me! But the text seemed a bit... off maybe. BUT I have a huge problem with reading too much into things/reading things wrong. So I've replied and asked if he wants to go out again so we will see. But my friend who knows exactly what I'm like has messaged me to say I shouldn't be the one chasing these people, they should be chasing me and wanting to see me again which is so true. So if he doesn't want to meet again then that's fine, I will just move on!

I'm back from my coffee with my sister. Resisted the cake thankfully. Lying on the settee now catching up on strictly. It's too cold to move and all I want it a big, hot pizza!

I think she’s right @TellysAndWellys, you need to let them chase and don’t seem over keen. I know it’s all silly games but I think men enjoy the chase and if you make it too easy for them early on they get bored!

I don’t want to even confess what I’ve eaten today, but I’ve just rounded off with 6 pigs in blankets!!

I just doubt myself all the time. I'm just no good at it. i hate this whole 'chase' thing. It's all so, so stupid. Sounds dramatic but once I'm back of my hols, I'm going to go for some kind of counselling/therapy. I do think a lot of it is linked to my anxiety and this is a way in which my anxiety presents itself but honestl I cannot carry on like this. It's depressing.

I've just had my SECOND chippy meal of the weekend. Shameful. Apprentice time now and then bed, due in work for 6am tomorrow and it's going to hurt

Ok he replied and I sent a very breezy, non committal text and told him 'I'll let him know when I'm next free'. So feel a bit a better. Is snd none desperate.

Back to one meal a day tomorrow, final push of being good until xmas now x

Well done @TellysAndWellys!

What do you do that involves 6am starts?! Urgh. Poor you!! That must be tricky to fit round looking after your ds.

I’ve just stood in the scales. +1 so I’ve gained 3lbs now. Not good st all because I can feel it’s still all fat. Sulking with myself.

He hasn't replied to my message and we normally speak in the day so . BUT I feel fine, just one of those things. Onwards and upwards.

I don't normally start at 6, god I could not cope with that. Today is an absolute one off as a favour for my manager and I get to leave in a hour and half so can't complain.

Aww @Iampert, don't be too hard on yourself. A pound is so, so easy to gain

Oh well sod him then @TellysAndWellys. Onwards and upwards. Look at it this way, you’ve been out with two people and had an enjoyable evening (or two) with both, so you have lost nothing! Keep it up I reckon!

Ah I’m glad the 6am was a one off, I felt v sorry for you this morning!

I had my midwife appt today and she listened to the heartbeat so I’m super happy! She could feel my uterus despite all my flubber and didn’t mention my weight so I’m feeling a little less paranoid now.

Yeah exactly, it was a lovely evening and I did like him but it wasn't meant to be so that's that. Going out with local guy on Wednesday though, he called me
On his way to work this morning so that's positive!!

Thank you for the sympathy, I get sorry for myself as well. People who get up and get into work at the crack of dawn deserve a medal!

Oh wow how exciting! It is such a lovey sound, it always reminded me of galloping horses. I am so pleased for you! I found out really early with ds and the midwife came to do my booking in appointment. She wanted to feel my stomach and because I'd gained a lot of weight in the year leading up to getting pregnant, I ALREADY had loads of stretch marks. I was mortified lifting my top up to show her my stomach!

I've had pizza for tea so much for 'on final push'

Wow the typos in all of my posts are something else. I am literate I promise, I just have fat thumbs.

Oh well that’s nice that original guy called! Wooop!

I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’ve been crap too. I’ve had a small portion of leftover chicken pie for lunch and I’m having tacos for dinner. I don’t want to admit this but I had a massive craving for something sweet and bought pop tarts, of which I scoffed 4 in a row. I don’t even like the bloody things!!!!!

Morning @Iampert, how have you been? Things have been manic here!

Finished yesterday on 700 calories so yesterday was a good day. We won't talk about the day before. We have a buffet at work today though so thousands of calories are going to be consumed

Had third date with local boy last night. I think it went well. He's funny and sweet so hopefully we'll see each other next week.

Hope you're doing ok

Morning telly. I’m fine thank you. Counting down to tomorrow night and 5 days off work!!

I’ve not been good the last few days but planning to try and go easy on my food consumption today. I need to cut potions down. Tacos for dinner tonight so just need something light for lunch.

Good news your third date went well!! How exciting!!

What are your Christmas plans?

Same here, 4.30 tomorrow cannot come quick enough. This week has dragged.

Well the buffet at work was amazing. I cannot put into words how much I ate. I felt so, so full afterwards. I then went out for drinks and pizza straight from work. I am so off the wagon it's embarrassing. Cannot reign it in at all. How were the tacos?

I know!!! I am quite surprised by how much I like him but he's so funny, we just laugh constantly. It seems to be going well but I am very aware it's only the 3rd time we've met. Although I did see him at work tonight which was lovely. I have got to work for a day next week and he's already said he'll come bring me lunch chippy dinner because I'll be alone in the office and won't be able leave but we will see.

Christmas morning with at mum and dads, dinner at my aunties then a party at mine on xmas day night. I've NEVER had a party before and I'm dreading it. Boxing Day ds is off to his dads and I plan on hibernating. I hate Christmas what about you?

Awww @TellysAndWellys that is so sweet that he’s gonna bring you lunch!!!

Your Christmas sounds v busy!!

We always go out for an Indian meal on Xmas eve, so we are doing that Sunday night with my mum and a couple of other relatives. We’ll stay over at Mum’s as I don’t like to think of her waking up alone on Xmas day, then we have the whole family coming to hers for a late meal (7pm ish). Boxing Day we are headed to DH’s family to do it all over again!

I cannot believe I can’t drink over Christmas, how depressing!!! I will have a v little glass of champagne on Xmas day though, I don’t think a small one sipped slowly can hurt.

I stood on the scales this morning. I’ve put on three pounds now and it’s all fat. I’ve got a giant spare tyre and it’s not remotely baby shaped, it’s just squidgy fat. Serves me right really!! But it is nottttttt good!!

Hi both! I’ve been following this thread and just wanted to say I enjoy your updates.

Happy Christmas Eve Eve @Iampert.

It is hectic but I enjoy it. It's easy as all my family live within a 5 minut drive or half a hour drunken stumble from my house.

Aww I love little traditions like going for a Christmas Indian. It's lovely that you're staying with your mum, I bet she really appreciates it. And just think, next Christmas you'll be waking up with a little squidgy baby as well. We are
Staying my parents, my gran will be there and saves everyone piling over to mine at the crack of dawn to watch ds open his presents. And i think I'd feel a bit lonely if it was just me and ds waking up for presents.

Yeah definitely have the glass of champagne. One won't hurt at all. Maybe you could get some really posh soft drink and some of that glitter you put in prosecco to make it shine? No where near as good as a glass of wine but a bit more fancy?

Oh no to the 3lbs :( I haven't had chance to weigh myself this morning as we are off out to do Christmassy stuff (god I'm such a scrooge, really have to force myself to make the effort) but I have done nothing but eat this week. AGAIN. Maybe just enjoy yourself to you get in bed Boxing Day evening then from Wednesday start again? That's my plan anyway. I just can't stop eating though, me and ds have polished off a box of heros AND quality street and I've scoffed half of the Christmas mini roll pack I bought for my party. Nothing says party like s pack of mini rolls. But my guests are going have to miss out and stick to the French fancies instead.

How are you feeling baby wise? Hope the sickness has eased off for you.

My romance is going well I think! We're going out again next week, he says he's really looking forward to it and so am i. Just trying to not do what I usually do and think too far ahead to our wedding day and just enjoy it for what it is now. Plus I go on my holiday soon so who knows what will happen!

@TJH1 thank you, this thread has been a massive help in my very slow but happening weight loss and now my desperate searches for love

Morning @TellysAndWellys

Aw your Christmas sounds lovely. I bet present opening is magic with a 5 year old!

Today DH and I are having a quiet one at home. I’ve got to make a sticky toffee pudding and sausage rolls for Xmas day later. Yum!!

We used the doppler this morning and heard the heartbeat again which made me feel happy. I still can’t believe I’m having a baby but it’s in there! I feel so incredibly lucky.

Trying not to beat myself up over the 3 lbs. it’s more my appearance - I’m so wide now, and getting wider and my tummy flubber is just enormous. But I have a 17 week bean in there so I’m just trying to relax. I will try and revert to my super healthy diet but in reality there will be a bit of indulgence in the next few days! Hopefully I can stabilise the weight gain in jan for a while.

Aww lovely news re. your date!!! I am excited for the next update.

@TJH1 thank you. This thread keeps me sane!!

@iampert merry Christmas. Have been mega busy these past couple of days so will reply properly tomorrow but Merry Christmas to my thread buddy, hope you, dh and your dm have the most lovely day xxx

That was supposed to be haha

Merry Christmas to you telly! Hope your DS is all excited today and that you have a fab one!

Smoked salmon and scrambled eggs down, 5 million canapés to come before Xmas dinner this evening. Yum!!

Shame about the piddly smidgeon of champagne I’ll be allowing myself later but nevermind, I’ll make up for it next year! ;-)

Have a lovely day xx

Evening @Iampert. Hope you've had a lovely Christmas. DS is safely deposited with his dad (he had a lovely Christmas), I have eaten and drank more then I thought was humanly possible and am in desperate need of a piece of fruit.

Really need to try and be strict now, I've been eating and drinking what I want for the past couple of weeks. Have had a few people tell me they can see the weight I've lost which is positive!

4th date with my online man tomorrow! We've been in touch all over Christmas which has been nice. So I'll let you know how that goes. I'm really beginning to like him which I just find so bizarre as after the first date I was very indifferent but he's so funny. But who knows, he might not be after anything serious plus I go away soon so it may all fizzle out. But for now I'm just excited! Merry Christmas once again

Hello @TellysAndWellys, I’m glad you’ve had a lovely Christmas. I too have eaten ALL the food.

Unfortunately I am now the size of a house. I’ve got a good layer of serious fat all over and I need to try and get rid of some in the next few weeks, I really do look awful! We are out for lunch today and the in laws have sent us home with a giant load of leftovers, and none of it healthy so it’s going to be a tough few days!

Out for dinner tomorrow night and have in laws for dinner on Friday, then out again sat and nye Sunday so I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed!! I could do with a few quiet days to myself but I’m working (from home) for the next two days.

Ooo where are you going for your date?! How exciting!

I think I ate every single thing that's ever been cooked. AND I've just been out for a 4 course meal. I am so full. I have plans every night between now and Monday and they all involve food/booze. So I have no chance basically.

It's so hard because there's just so much food floating about and you feel like you have to eat it all.

Did you have nice presents?

We are going to a newly opened milkshake place where they do HUGE milkshakes, they look amazing. Then we are off to the pub. I'm really looking forward to it. Feel a lot less anxious about the whole 'finding love' thing. Just trying so much to relax, not stress and just enjoy it for what it is for now. But these milkshakes must have about 1000000 calories in.

Hahahahaha good for you telly!! Enjoy your million calorie milkshake! It’s Christmas after all. Update me tomorrow - I’m excited to hear how it goes!!