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Bullying

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Original poster

Is this classed as Bullying?

102 replies

MrsPixi · 10/02/2022 11:14

I have a 13 year old daughter who is now refusing to go into school.

She has been completely ostracised by her friendship group.

They no longer wish to be her friend. What they are also doing now is any girl which my daughter speaks to they are approaching them stating why are you speaking to her so she doesn't have one person who will hang around with her now.

She messaged some girls asking if they would hang around with her and they said No. They have now joined my DD's old friendship group.

We have gone through her phone and she has messages stating she is “jealous” over something, “you’ve gone home and burst into tears babe”, “you’ve no friends to chat to now tbh” and even an earlier message saying “die”.

She is now refusing to go to school as she doesn't have one single friend. School are involved and I'm waiting to see what can be done about it, but we cannot force people to be friends with her.

Ive looked at the school bullying policy which states purposely excluding someone is classed as emotional bullying.

Im so worried I can't eat or sleep.

Any advice?

OP posts:
whyarentiskinnyet · 19/02/2022 17:23

This is horrible, its exactly what happened to me around that age and my parents had to move my school, thankfully at that time there was no social media or phones but it was still absolutely awful to have no one speak to me. I am so sorry this is happening to your daughter.

Stickypace · 19/02/2022 17:27

I'm sorry your daughter is going through this. At this point I'd be changing schools, changing your daughters number and really not let her have any socials until she is settled at a new school.

Photolass · 19/02/2022 17:31

Yes, of course this is bullying. It's an awful thing for your daughter to be going through.
To be honest, I would give the school a chance to put things right (give them a time limit of a week). If they haven't sorted it by then, I would change schools

Photolass · 19/02/2022 17:34

Im at a loss as to how to help her as even if school do step in, they cannot make people speak to her

The school can, and should, force an apology from all the girls involved, and follow up by monitoring your daughter on a regular basis, to see how things are going. It's the school who should calling in the parents of the girls who are doing this.

OMGItsEarly · 19/02/2022 17:45

Heartbreaking Sad
Flowers

fairydust11 · 19/02/2022 18:21

Sorry your daughter is going through this op - In my opinion I think she may need to change schools as this sounds awful for her. 💐

Hellocatshome · 19/02/2022 18:27

Honestly at this point I think there is very little you can do apart from contact the police re the messages on social media, delete all her social media accounts and get her a new phone number and move her to a new school.

123456rose123456 · 22/02/2022 00:48

yes it is, bitches need to leave her alone xx

BornBlonde · 22/02/2022 01:04

Your poor DD. Do you have another school nearby?

Blubell46 · 22/02/2022 06:37

@MrsPixi sending you lots of hugs to you...as a parent it is so hard to see this happen and why are children so unkind!!!

Is she in Year 9? Being 13 I think so, for my child and for friends who have girls found this year a tricky year for girls...it will calm down middle of year 10 since most girls see sense and know the girl who is cruel and need to avoid.

The only thing is make sure she is totally loved at home abs she knows it and try and enlist I. Some clubs outside school - so school is not the be all and end all!!!

Keep sending emails to the school if incidents and ask the school to raise this but not state you have spoken to them...ask them monitor the situation and give you weekly updates since yiu are now in a situation where she doesn't want to come to school!!

You and dd will get through this...xx

threecupsofteaminimum · 23/02/2022 18:41

Hi OP, I just wanted to ask how your daughter is, have things improved? X

Original poster
MrsPixi · 23/02/2022 19:13

@threecupsofteaminimum

Hi OP, I just wanted to ask how your daughter is, have things improved? X
Thanks for asking.

She's been moved tutor groups and one lesson but no she is still completely ostracised from her friendship group.

My worry now is she is going to start hanging out with the 'wrong' crowd as she has no one else. Its been a horrible couple of weeks.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsPixi · 03/03/2022 22:02

*UPDATE

If anyone can help me, school have sanctioned these girls but now their boyfriends are getting involved.

I as an adult have received a message on social media tonight so someone has found out my name and searched for me and got my profile and sent me messages calling my daughter lots of horrible names.

OP posts:
Greattimestroubledtimes · 03/03/2022 22:06

Go to the police. Contact the school, again, but this is now way above even bullying.

And how is your daughter now?

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 03/03/2022 22:12

I'd second there police. I'd also be contacting the school's governing body.

Your poor daughter.

twig1234 · 03/03/2022 22:15

This is awful for you all. I think too that the police should become involved and yes do the school governors have involvement?
Not that you should have to do this but is there any way of changing schools?

Original poster
MrsPixi · 03/03/2022 22:25

She has said that she feels there is no point in being here anymore.

Im heartbroken. One of the girls has apologised but one not the night before last has put a social media post on about my daughter. So she still hasn't stopped despite being sanctioned previously.

She has got the next level of sanction today for one day.

The boyfriend of this girl has then hit my daughter in the face today with the metal bit of a clip on tie. She left school and came home.

Then tonight I've received a message myself calling her all sorts off another one of their boyfriends (how they know my name and to search for me). I emailed the assistant principal straight away and she emailed straight back stating she will be picking this student up tomorrow and getting his parents in also.

OP posts:
BornBlonde · 04/03/2022 08:18

This is awful. The school and police have to act surely given the bullying was serious enough but it's now escalated to assault.

Is her moving schools for a fresh start an option? Of course she shouldn't have to but it may help

Original poster
MrsPixi · 04/03/2022 08:32

@BornBlonde

This is awful. The school and police have to act surely given the bullying was serious enough but it's now escalated to assault.

Is her moving schools for a fresh start an option? Of course she shouldn't have to but it may help

They haven't physically assaulted her though so will the police do anything?

OP posts:
RoisinD · 04/03/2022 08:54

Please do as you have been advised many times already and go to the police. Not trying to be harsh but I cannot understand why you haven't done this already. School sanctions are clearly not working. Protect your family and go straight to police today. Your poor daughter.

MajorCarolDanvers · 04/03/2022 08:58

You really need to go to the police. Urgently.

MerryMarigold · 04/03/2022 09:07

OP, my DS was being very immature in a Y6 chat (we allowed him an old phone and WhatsApp in lockdown). Someone in the group changed the group name to 'The gay boys'. After a few days one of the boys left the group randomly and they were speculating why. My DS said "because he's gay". Another parent then sent a screenshot of this to the parents of the boy who had left the group. The parents stormed into school and also called the police! DS got into huge trouble in school, moved bubbles and I got a phonecall from the police!

What he did is nothing compared to what those girls are doing. The child he was referring to want even in the chat as he'd left the group! I think these girls need a phonecall from the police too.

Original poster
MrsPixi · 04/03/2022 09:32

@RoisinD

Please do as you have been advised many times already and go to the police. Not trying to be harsh but I cannot understand why you haven't done this already. School sanctions are clearly not working. Protect your family and go straight to police today. Your poor daughter.

The reason I haven't is because she is begging me not to. When a student messaged me last night I wanted to ring the police and she said no because they will target her as a grass.

OP posts:
MerryMarigold · 04/03/2022 09:37

she said no because they will target her as a grass

I understand that fear but you need to explain to her that
A. She is sticking up for herself and they will respect that deep down even if they sneer initially.
B. Targeting her for being a grass will make no difference as they are currently bullying her anyway. If anything, it may make them get themselves into more trouble if they are caught.

GlitterBiscuits · 04/03/2022 09:45

Is there anyway you can change schools and have a fresh start? Any clubs or societies she could join to have something that did not involve atheists same crowd?