Do you judge mums who bottle feed?

[babybrian]

I tried to breastfeed, for one reason and another I failed. I am about to start going to baby groups and have worked myself into a bit of a neurotic state.

Tell me, honestly , do you judge mums who bottle feed? My dd is only 8 weeks and I worry people will think I don't love her.

Titty I know quite a lot about bf actually..dont pressume because you think poor little ff babies are missing out and others dont they know sod all about it- drop the patronism!

and noone said they didnt know BF was better than FF! yes it is but there is no need to get so defensive about it being better either!!! if someone has made an informed choice to FF then that is that...there is no need to constantly preach horrible statistics about FF because you need to justify to yourself constantly why you are better than them!
maybe we would be better mothers if we spent less time on mumsnet and more time looking after them.
But i suppose if you BF then thats your job done because it is the be all and end all

yeah you're not at all defensive

i didnt say i wasn´t!!!!!!!!! why wouldnt i be when i FF and am constantly getting it rammed down my thoat that my child is going to get cancer,die of leukemia,have constant infections,grow up thinking i dont love it!
for gods sake! it just pisses me off that people get on the high and mighty all the time oooh look at me i breastfeed look everyone im so amazing......i will have to make myself feel amazing on a regular basis by doing as much research as possible to make the FF´ers feel like shit.
I dont understand why women who are so determined to breastfeed and do so spend so much time looking into the downsides and risks associated with formula....i just find it a little strange??????

I am late to this thread but I would like to add my point anyway. I would never judge a woman that didn't because I do believe there are problems with the way BF'ing advice is given. I see the problems as:-

There is a huge amount of pressure put on women about the benefits without very much in the way of practical help;

If you have a straightforward labour you can leave hospital without ever being shown how to BF;

Some people who do BF are quite bullish about it and say it shouldn't hurt / it is easy.

The thing is bf is not as easy as everyone likes to think and initially it is work. It can actually hurt a bit; most people need to be shown more than once how to do it because it doesn't come naturally.

Of the friends I have, the ones that succeeded with BF put in LOADS of effort at the beginning - going to support groups, lactation consultants and the like. I would say that you would have to be pretty determined to do that.

OP, I would never, ever judge a woman who bottle-fed. Anyone who does is pretty crappy.

"am constantly getting it rammed down my thoat that my child is going to get cancer,die of leukemia,have constant infections,grow up thinking i dont love it!
for gods sake!i"

Errr - who has said that your child "is going to get' thing" Nobody has said this. Or implied it. TBH I find it a bit you coming out with those sorts of accusations, which are basically false as well as unjust. Can't you just respond to what people have said, rather than making things up to complain about?

"oooh look at me i breastfeed look everyone im so amazing......"

Defensive? Moi? Gosh, it's just like school.

"I dont understand why women who are so determined to breastfeed and do so spend so much time looking into the downsides and risks associated with formula....i just find it a little strange??????"

I think what you'll actually find is that women who know a lot about this subject haven't done all that reading purposefully to make you, or other mothers like you, feel bad.

If they're anything like me, they've read up on this subject because they find it fascinating and believe it's an important public health issue. You know, like some people are really interested in children's reading. Some of us are interested in infant feeding. Get over it - it's not all about you!

AlyGryls - agree with most of what you say, except, women who come from countries with an entrenched breastfeeding culture a) laugh at the idea of women needing to attend 'breastfeeding classes', in the same way they'd laugh at the idea of people having to attend 'breathing classes', and b) have only a fraction of the difficulties establishing bf than we do, and breastfeed for far longer, despite having more difficult lives than us in many ways (ie - poorer physical health, larger families, less economic support). What do you think accounts for this difference? It does suggest that there is something in our culture which makes bf specifically difficult for us, rather than bf being intrinsically difficult, doncha think? And if that's the case - what do you think it is?

I know people who suffer wth dreadful, sometimes tragic health problems and they were formula fed. Now obviously it is impossible to actually know whether that is the reason why, but what if it is? The fact that it was so preventable in the first place is beyond tragic! Its just so sad, that if only their mothers had breastfed, they wouldn't have to suffer these things daily. Someone said it wasn't the end of the world earlier if you FF - but it might be!!! How can you dismiss it so flippantly!

Now clearly, if it is medically impossible to breastfeed, we need to be thankful that we have formula in the same way we need to be grateful for caesarians. But in most cases it is not an emergency. Whatever the reason, most mums stopping breatfeeding is simply not an emergency.

I'm sure people are going to get pi$$ed off at me about this but you cannot escape it. People suffer terrible terrible illnesses because their mothers did not breastfeed. IMO it is time we stopped pussyfooting around the issue and change things. The only way to do that is to be totally honest about formula.

To those who have either chosen not to breastfeed or for some reason failed, will you do everything in your power to enable and support your daughters to breastfeed their future children exclusively to at least 6 months? Part of the problem is generational, and the only way to change that is for mothers of mothers to be more supportive of breastfeeding.

RubyBuckleberry I refer you to my post at 18.00. I was a bottle baby!

Tragic health problems? Due to Formula Feeding?
Please get a grip! If it contained cyanide or asbestos maybe but I think you are being just a teeny bit over zealous here!

Ruby, it is people like you, with your scare tactics and complete nonsense that make women feel guilty about ff their children. Just stop it.

thats great shaz. your anecdotal evidence proves nothing really. you are one of the lucky ones obviously.

redredwine it is a fact that formula causes any number of health problems in some babies, children and then adults. would you like to tell them to get a grip while they deal with them ?

scare tactics and complete nonsense? unfortunately not. a bitter pill to swallow, maybe, but the sooner it is swallowed, the sooner change will happen.

I think you will find there is a corelation. Hardly a fact formula causes anything really is it? And im not denying breastmilk is best, but all this demonising formula milk is just pathetic really, and shows your glaringly obvious parenting insecurities.

parenting insecurities? oh right, what are they then? what am i insecure about?

Please tell me, what are these serious illness that only affect formula fed children Ruby- as a children's nurse im quite intrigued...however im sure your education/knowledge is vastly superior...

Ruby, YES scare tactics and nonsense. There is no scientfic evidence that ff causes serious health concerns.

bf babies are LESS likely to get asthma etc, but ff does not cause illness.

You are a pathetic zealot. You should be ashamed of yourself for trying to scare the OP.

Bf can help prevent certain conditions- the clue is in the word 'help'

currycrazy - I dont understand why women who are so determined to breastfeed and do so spend so much time looking into the downsides and risks associated with formula....i just find it a little strange??????

I said this earlier in the thread - I am a BFing mum but just fail to understand some BFing mum's at times morbid obsession with all these supposed dreadful things that may befall FFed babies and their mothers ... it's pretty obvious though, it makes them feel superior and some of them seem to derive a kind of smug kick from ramming this research, some of it quite spurious, down other people's throats. Me, I'm just happy to feed my baby and let others feed theirs as they choose.

Thank god Mama- a voice of reason!

I bottle fed my first 5 and bf the last two.
I never noticed any difference between bf and ff when it came to development, illness or anything else.
It was convenient to ff when I did and convenient to bf the last two.

There is far too much snobbery attached to breast feeding, in my opinion.

mamasparkle, what a great post! well said.

It doesn't take much digging to reveal the ugly truth behind formula. I am expressing an opinion based on research and reading.

Show me some studies that deny the increased risks.

You're right, why am I even bothered? Maybe it is because it is undeniable that there are health implications. Maybe it is not just British babies that I am bothered about. Maybe I think it is a grave injustice that formula companies advertise to more vulnerable people in more vulnerable countries and then babies and mothers all over the world are disempowered. Maybe I think it is a feminist issues that women have been completely betrayed by the health professionals around them, and in turn health professionals have been completely HAD by formula companies and their pushing of infant formula. Maybe I am concerned about the amount of waste formula causes. Maybe I am concerned about the planet. I suppose I hate the fact that formula companies not only get away with this, but PROfit from it. I suppose I imagine that pharmaceutical companies profit out of the health problems that formula increases the risk of. I suspect that members of various boards of directors are closely linked. I suppose I see injustice in the statistics that strongly, undeniably show the uncomfortably large increase in the risk of SIDS, necrotizing enterocolitis, gastro infections, cancer the list goes on etc etc etc.

I suppose I am insecure about my own parenting. I suppose I want to feel superior. Pathetic Zealot. Yeah right. Whatever you say.

It has already been stated recently that the health benefits of breastfeeding are oversold and the only confirmed condition is can conclusively prevent is gastro-enteritis, and this was from a guy who has been studying the benefits of breastfeeding since the 70's- mind you no doubt he knows less than a few mumsnetters as well...