What do you wish a bf supporter in hospital had told you/done?

[FourArms]

I'm coming towards the end of my bf peer supporter course, and soon I'll be volunteering on the postnatal wards at our local hospital.

So... if a bf supporter had been available in your hospital, what would you have liked them to have done/told you/showed you?

I was v.lucky with DS1 and DS2. Although there were slight issues with both (c/s with DS1 and a spell in NICU for DS2) they were both v.easy to bf and it came very naturally to us all from feed one. We did have problems once we were home, so I have a lot of experience with these, but not much for problems in the early days.

Any thoughts will be gratefully received!

time and a listening ear

the MW in the hospital told me with DD that her latch was perfect yet my nipples were blistered and bleeding

i did get it sorted but it would have been really easy for me to just give up at that point - luckily i was very determined to feed and DD is now 22 weeks and EBF

ime there is enormous pressure to give formula straight away in hospital if bf doesn't immediately get off to a good start.

information and reassurance that
a) a bit of formula in early days doesn't neccesarily mean the end of bf and
b) you don't have to give newborns a full bottle of milk and can ask for more help
c) there is more help!

would have been immensely helpful to me.

Fishie I am [shocked] at your experience in hospital. Was that recently?
The Baby Friendly Initiative was introduced in hospitals a few years ago and my recent experience (2yrs ago)was very different in so far as they were really reluctant to give me formula for dd2 to the point that they made me feel awful and a failure for asking!

I asked for help and just had my boob shoved in dd's mouth - Great!

In the end I used the pictures in the Bounty book and sat in hospital with it open on the bed - It worked a treat.

Maybe some sort of picture reference for the women to take home?

Also, I 2nd about formula not being the end of it all. 5wo dd had 1 formula feed a day for the first 2 weeks because I was so sore and tired. Now she is just bf and we are doing great.

One more thing - Try different nipple creams. Mothercare own sorted me out in a day where as Lanishol (sp) did nothing for me.

Good luck with it. I think its great what you are doing

my experience was that formula was offered the first night because my baby was crying and wouldn't settle...didn't feel that breast feeding was very well supported in my hospital at all.

I also left hospital with bleeding nipples despite being told my latch was fine every time I asked someone to help me.

I would have liked someone to tell me that breastfed babies need to feed and feed and feed and feed. because I didn't know and I had STUPIDLY read Gina Ford before I had my daughter and thought that 40 mins should do it for a couple of hours. My daughter was crying in hunger for the first 10 days or so until I realised (through coming onto this site) that that was a load of shit. So it would have been helpful to know that.

OP - you're doing a really wonderful thing! I had a traumatic birth with DS1 and the midwives were no help at all with establishing bfing on the hell that was the postnatal ward - after about 8 hours I called the lovely bf peer supporter I'd met before DS's birth (in tears) and she came up the ward and sat with me for 2 hours to help me with establishing a latch and to help DS1 have his first proper bf. She then came in the next day again for an hour or so to help me learn how to bf lying down (as had lots of stitches and sitting up irritated them). Then she was on the phone when I needed her. Before I went into give birth she recommended I took plenty of pillows and lansinoh cream with me - which were great recommendations - and was really reassuring whenever I had blips over the next couple of days - all through the baby blues etc.

I had DC in a Baby Friendly hospital so can only say what WAS done. But what I found helpful was that the midwives were always willing to come and observe me bf DD. Formula wasn't offered ever and as I was determined to bf I didn't ask for it so I don't know if it was available.

But the most valuable thing I was told that each midwife probably had a different way of doing it and that I just needed to find the way that suited me. So many of my friends tied themselves in knots as they got conflicting advice.

Good luck. I'd love to do what you're doing. How did you get into it?

Thanks for all the replies.

chicaguapa - I contacted the infant feeding coordinator at our local maternity hospital initially and asked if they needed volunteers in the hospital at all. She suggested the peer supporter programme.

I was v.puzzled by being told that my latch was fine, yet my nipples were cracked and blistered. We've been told a lot of times on our course that a good latch should mean no pain and no cracked nipples. I'm still not 100% sure that that is the case. Perhaps in the early days you get an odd bad latch though, and are more reluctant to unlatch and start again. I'd have liked someone to have shown me exactly how you were meant to unlatch a baby! It's obvious once you know, but not if you don't!

OK - different creams for different nipples! Knowing that you could get Lansinoh on prescription would have been useful info for me too!

That GF might not be the be all and end all for bfing....

dinkystinky sounds like you had a great experience with your peer supporter. Fab. We're not encouraged to form that sort of relationship (phone conversations etc), but there are groups running every (week)day in the city which people can go to once they're out of hospital.

my experience was 5 years ago. at the time (in response to my complaint) they said that bf peer supporters were coming soon, hopefully things are better now.

have just been to look at bf initiation rates for my area and they are 90% in 2009!

The only help I had was the mw shoving my boob into the baby's mouth and that was pretty much it.

Had no lessons on how bf worked; with my third dc I learnt about how it worked and he has been far the easier to bf.. because I understood what I/he was doing.

Conflicting adivce wasn't helpful either from different members of staff.

Warned me about growth spurts! I would have started formula top ups at 6 weeks if I hadn't been able to come on here and find out what the hell was going on.

I was a bit when on my second night DD wouldn't sleep and just wanted to feed and feed and I was practically in tears at the nurses station and she just said "Oh yes, breastfed babies always do this, she's just trying to get to the milk". My (sleep deprived) reaction was wishing someone had imparted this apparently common knowledge to me. At least I was in a hospital to ask, I wouldn't have known what to do if I hadn't been (again, probably formula - the midwife did say that if I really couldn't cope then she would try and give DD some formula with a teaspoon but she didn't recommend it, in the end she stayed in my room and held DD for an hour and distracted her while I got an hours sleep. I got DH to bring her a box of chocolates in the morning I was so grateful for that hour!).

I went to 2 bf workshops before I had ds1 which gave me a lot of basics to think about in terms of positioning (for me and him) and latch. These were invaluable imo and should be available to every woman antenatally.

In hospital, I was lucky that their bf specialist was on shift for the 2 days that I was in. She was more than happy to come and chaeck the position and latch at every feed while she was in work. To start with she gave me a little pointer each time to work on next time. By the time we went home, I was confident that I knew what we should be aiming for, and that gave me confidence to carry on.

After about 3 weeks I started going to our local bf group where I met some lovely ladies and peer supporters. Just talking and finding out about growth spurts, fore milk/hind milk (myths/truths!) good bf clothes etc was hugely beneficial to me and I'm sure that this group made the difference between me continuing to bf rather tahn switching to formula on several occasions (usually at growth spurt times).

I was very lucky to have had a good experience, yet this should be the norm.

For me the most useful advice came from my community midwife when after about 10 days i still had a poor latch with my DD1 and my nipples were cracked, bleeding and sore and i was on the edge of giving up. She told me in order to get a good latch to shape/gently squeeze the area around my nipple vertically to match the shape of my baby's mouth. This worked instantly and breast feeding became pain free. As a bigger breasted lady I wasn't aware that i may need to hold and shape my breast.

I'm so pleased mama2moo has said what was the most useful thing for me - a picture. I think the picture the bf specialist midwife showed me was produced for NHS Scotland. I'd read a million books/websites/articles using the phrase 'nose to nipple', had thought I'd understood it perfectly, but had never seen a picture. As soon as I saw it I a) realised what I was aiming for b) realised I'd completely misunderstood what it meant.

Sadly that was when ds was 11 weeks old, we'd already had weight loss, persistent jaundice, a stay in hospital and introduction of masses of formula. We never got completely back on track and I stopped bf at 21 weeks when it was clear he was getting no milk at all from me.

The list of other things that would be useful is legion but mostly just comes under the heading 'more midwives'.

I think its important to be told that you will find your own way and that your positioning might change as the baby gets older. Ive seen some friends try and try to follow what the books say and get totally wound up over it because they cant get a good latch. I have bf 3 babies and each have preferred different positions my 12 week old at the moment for instance has now decided he doesnt like the traditional nursing position and only likes the rugby ball hold.I thinks its great what your doing as new mums especially need all the advice and support they can get in hospital as you are left to get on with it these days and it can be so frightening.

By the way how did you get involved with this as I would be interested in doing it aswell?

I felt I had no help from the mw's when I had dd1. In fact one came round very cross because dd1 was crying and snapped at me "have you tried feeding her?" then stomped off, leaving me in tears and feeling crap! I think it was worse because all through my pregnancy health professionals had been gushing about bf'ing and I actually expected some support.

the only thing I really really wish someone had told me was the piece of advice a friend, who had successfully fed 2 babies, gave me: It DOES (or can) hurt, to begin with! I was so wound up in thinking because it hurt, I must be doing it wrong, so endlessly latching baby on and off, and the pain just getting worse, and me thinking I was a failure and should give up. After 2 wks the pain subsided and I loved bf'ing. Same again with my next 2 babies- I just find it hurts for a fortnight until my boobs/ nipples/ body gets used to it. I got sooo fed up with people telling me it shouldn't hurt and that I couldn't be doing it right. My theory is that their mouths are so small at first that it's hard to get as much of the breast tissue in, so it gets easier as their mouths get bigger. Certainly with no 3, the biggest of my lot, who also had a huge mouth, the pain was far less!! It's like they need to make everything about bf'ing so positive, they can't admit that it might be painful- I even found the letdown hellish for the first couple of weeks.

That's my rant over!

Like someone else has said, whenever I asked for help with latching DD on, I had a maternity care assistant come and manhandle my boob and then walk off.
I also continuously got told that there wasn't enough of the bottom of my nipple in DDs mouth, which resulted in me latching her lower on my nipple, and there started the problem with cracks and the downward spiral of my mental health.

I had a really bad experience with my hospital though, so I'm angry and bitter about a number of things.

I could have used some more help with hand expressing. My ds was in scbu for 5 days and before my milk came in I had to hand express colostrum for him 8 times a day(because I was keen to bf). I was just given a book and told to get on with it. Mashing away at my breasts to for hours on end to get even a tiny drop was soul destroying. I actually believed that because I had missed one lot that my milk wouldn't come in- I had been to a bf workshop and read about it but had lost all knowledge and perspective by that point.
(On the other hand fab nurse in scbu sorted out a breast pump for me on day 3 and by the time I took him home at 7 days old we were ebf and still bf at 61/2 months.)

I totally echo alot of what has already been said by others so I will try not to repeat it

1. I wish the breast feeding councillors/support were believed and listened to by other midwifes and other mmembers of staff who shoved my nipple into my babies mouth too. Then once home I had no idea how he should be latching on.
2. I genuinely thought that nose to nipple meant that the baby would open wide and all I would have to do is 'swiftly to the breast' and that the baby would latch on by itself
3. That bf babies have to feed all of the time, and that you have to try them on your breast more than 5 times in like 12 hours
4. That even though I had a big baby by EMCS 10lbs 1oz, I gave him all my expressed colostrum - when really he should have been learning to latch on to get it, AND that THIS WAS ENOUGH FOR HIM.
5. Midwifes do not seem to agree with breastfeeding support and told me I was starving my child and to get out of hospital I should be formula feeding him
6. That it's an emotional rollercoaster big style

MY DS1 was born 24.02.10 and I lost my father one week after he was born and I tryed in vain to get him to latch on and posted up here for help - lots of very very supportive responses. Sadly in the end I gave up with BF as it was all too much for me emotionally and physically - recovering from my C section and I also had very sore nipples.

I couldn't see a life of me expressing my milk so many times a day, which I still feel guilty about, but my DP can assist me with bottles and it means I can get some sleep too.

Good on you for being a BF support worker, maybe my next child I will try harder and I will be able to do it.

The breastfeeding support girls in the hospital were great but it's all very confusing between different members of staff, and was upsetting at times too due to the amount of mis-information, not knowing who to believe and quite obvious that the older midwives thought the bf support were a load of nonsense....Not such a united front.

mumagain3 - I contacted the infant feeding coordinator at our local maternity hospital initially and asked if they needed volunteers in the hospital at all. She suggested the peer supporter programme.

Thanks for all those posts. Hopefully all peer supporters will be singing from the same hymn sheet since we've all had the same training. I'm quite scared TBH, but hopefully I'll be able to give somebody a bit of help. Sometimes a listening (sympathetic!) ear might be enough?

I know what you mean about help expressing - I had to literally get a MW to show me where to press with for DS2 who was in NICU. I'd fed DS1 for 22m, but didn't think I could hand express. I could, I was just doing it wrong.

And I promise... there will be no manhandling of boobs! Our aim is to get the lady to do it herself so she's confident for future feeds.

best advice I got was that it would be bloody hard and exhausting for the first six weeks if you can get through to that milestone, the rest feels easier! It was and I felt `chuffed I'd got through the first six weeks.

Also, that babies feed at different times and intervals.

Advice on local area - practical things like which shops have baby feeding facilities - as a new mum I had no idea and it was at times stressful thinking where could I go to feed dd and change her somewhere clean and comfortable when out and about doing normal life stuff like shopping.

Also that if it hurts its not your fault - i hesitated to say it was hurting at first cos I felt it was me doing it wrong, turned out my baby was tongue tied so it was destined to hurt until that was sorted.

I had a BF 'helper/advisor' don't know the term, in the hospital and she was great, she was patient and encouraging and not once made me feel that I was asking stupid questions when she must have heard all the questions 100 times before!

worst advice i got was to supplement the feeds with formula (from a midwife) tried that and it made things worse. Home visiting midwife said spend a week on the sofa in your dressing gown feet up cuppa and snack on hand and stick with it, I did and then didn't need formula at all as baby and me got into a routine.

All I got was DS was the boob shoved in the mouth!

I wish I'd been told how relentless feeding for the first few days would be and I wish I'd been told that boobs are never totally empty - all I got told was to top up with formula! I thought I'd run out of milk when what I should have been doing was letting him suck to improve my supply.

With DD all I got - and I had to ask for it - was someone to look at my latch, which was apparently perfect but I had a blister by the time I went home!

Just last week, a friend of mine was advised to top up her DS with formula to get him to sleep through the night - he's 2 weeks old!!!

Time! And instilling confidence in you that you CAN BF. And understanding that lots of mums find it difficult/emotive.

When I had DD the 'supporters' just came along, latched her on and buggered off again. Even the proper NCT lady. So when we left we were none the wiser and it was only when a MW visiting suggested nipple shields that DD had proper feeds - we kept using them for 8 months but my supply never recovered so she had FF too. I still feel felt very let down.

With DS - different hospital - fantastic!!! Annie would stay as long as it took for him to be feeding properly, she'd stay and chat, change his nappy! She also showed DH how to help me latch DS on, as DS was massive and I found it very awkward sometimes. He was jaundiced and had FF top-ups, but staff were so understanding (I was really upset, thought I'd failed again) and told me I would be able to drop the FF after a while - which I did easily at 2wks.

I owe a lot to the staff there - East Surrey Hospital in Redhill if anyone's interested DS is 6m and still BFing full-time, just started solids.

Congratulations on your peer-supporter training OP. There needs to be much more support - which is why I'm starting a course on it next month!

I got the boob shoved in too.

Also, my son slept and slept at first. Whenever I saw a nurse or midwife I asked if he would wake up if he was hungry. All said "yes", until one came in to have a go at me for letting him sleep so long! I think I would like one or two people to be the "experts" and the rest to sticking with the medical stuff, I was confused by all the conflicting advice.