What do you wish a bf supporter in hospital had told you/done?

[FourArms]

I'm coming towards the end of my bf peer supporter course, and soon I'll be volunteering on the postnatal wards at our local hospital.

So... if a bf supporter had been available in your hospital, what would you have liked them to have done/told you/showed you?

I was v.lucky with DS1 and DS2. Although there were slight issues with both (c/s with DS1 and a spell in NICU for DS2) they were both v.easy to bf and it came very naturally to us all from feed one. We did have problems once we were home, so I have a lot of experience with these, but not much for problems in the early days.

Any thoughts will be gratefully received!

Wow I'd like to do BF peer volunteering too! I think we all have different experiences of this at first. Having my nipple shoved in my babies mouth was also one of mine, like mamatomoo, although I wasn't too upset about it because my LO had a very strong suck reflex and he got it very quick.
I think one of the things I'd advise is to do things slowly and take your time to get in touch with the way these new-mums are feeling about BF. (My sister was really not into having other people touching her breast... whereas it didn't bother me at all).
Then also the long-term issues about BF like the phases a baby goes through. (5 months distracted and refusing to eat in noisy places or place where people are talking)
And address issues like how to deal with blockages and nipple/breast pain... My BF adviser at the hospital refused to talk about these things maybe she thought it'd put people off trying.
How can we find out about these peer courses?? I'd love to do one

I always thought that some picture references taken from above, ie what Mum sees would have been useful. All the pictures show a side view, and that is just not what you can see when you try it yourself.

salbysea completely agree that a few weeks of mixed feeding is better than FF from day one. But giving anything other than BM does change the baby's gut, so the ideal is just BM. Of course, we're going to support the mother to do whatever she feels is best, but our aim will be to achieve the optimum which is ex-bf. In response to your post about 'so called BFing support people', we are all about individual cases. That is why I am doing this, I will speak to families on a 1-2-1 basis. Otherwise a book or a group session would be enough. I firmly believe that if it's making a mother v.unhappy, then bf is not best for mum even if it the ideal for the baby, and should maybe be discontinued or reviewed.

lark2owl the six weeks comes up again and again throughout this thread, and is a really useful goal I think. It's just rubbish that we have to go through additional pain and upset after 9m of pg and then a hard labour, so we're not in a great place to start with.

Shaz10 completely agree

lucysnowe we haven't covered the issues surrounding bf after a breast reduction in much detail, so I will definitely have a good read of that site, thanks for the link. This might be a case when we'd refer higher up the chain than 'peer supporters' though, as it's not something we'll come across all that often.

Karmasmum all great points. To get started I'd try to find out if there are any existing support groups in your area, and try to find out how they have trained. Our class is run by the Infant feeding coordinator from the Maternity unit at our local hospital, so might be worth trying to get in touch with a similar person in your area.

That babies do not need to be latched on for hours.

That a latch that looks perfect may be (is likely to be) wrong if it hurts.

That in the early days nipples may be uncomfortable but should not be painful and that if they are help is needed immediately.

That gritting your teeth through painful breastfeeds just results in very sore nipples and further, more painful feeds.

That breastmilk on nipples that may have candida will actually make things worse.

That if nipples are extremely painful it is ok to express and give a bottle while you give them a chance to heal.

Acknowledging that pumping while allowing nipples to heal is extremely tiring and advising to get as much help as possible as rest and eating well are essential to good milk production.

Advice on how to avoid damaging nipples through excessive breast pump use.

Advice on how much should be pumped in a day for a baby that is fed EBM only (data exists on the internet, but not easy to find the time to research it when pumping for 1 hour every three hours round the clock).

But most important is that you take time to sit with the mother for a feed or two, ideally in the environment in which she is doing most of her breastfeeding, look at what she does and give advice tailored to her. I had a number of well0-meaning midwives telling me my latch was perfect, repeating the advice I already knew by heart and just encouraging me to persevere when what I needed was somebody who would listen to what I was saying (that it was excruciatingly painful) and provide advice that would solve the problem rather than pat me on the back and assure me that "baby knows what to do" and that "you will be fine, just persevere" when clearly things were not fine and persevering was not the answer (in fact, it was part of the problem).

In the end, after 4 weeks and about 8 specialists (including lactation consultant, various infant feeding specialist midwives, BF cafes, charity volunteers, health visitors, GPS) it was a peer supporter who visited at home who cracked it just as I was about to give up...

I had an awful time with my first child.
After a long labour and emergency section followed by no support on the ward after, I gave up BF on day 3 when I was so sore and tense I felt like hurting my newborn. No-one spoke to me about breastfeeding or gave any advice or suggestions. When I asked for help, it was a HCA who came, who then had to get a midwife. This could take 15-20 mins. by which time I was distraught, as was my baby.

This was 7 years ago, and I'm praying the situation will be better this time. I'm so torn between breast and bottle, as I know that breast is best for my child who is due in 2 months time, but suspect that after the trauma last time, bottle will be best for me.

I believe support is key, which needs time and understanding. New mums ARE embarrassed about breastfeeding but even today my midwifes attitude is "don't be so silly".

1. That breastfeeding is not completely instinctive - it's a skill/an art and needs to be learned. Just knowing that was amazingly reassuring.

1. That you will have to learn all over again if/when you have more children!

I BF DD1 and loved it (particularly the resulting drop-a-dress-size thing, which sadly wasn't repeated with DD2). However, all my memories were of happy comfortable feeds and I completely forgot those first few days when it was uncomfortable and awkward and involved lots and lots of trial and error. As a result, I didn't even look at the BF books or pamphlets because I knew how to BF already, didn't I? Luckily DD2 was a quick learner (and a greedy wee thing). But oh how I wish someone had told me!

I had fantastic bf support in hospital, so rather than what I wish I'd know- here are the tips that helped.

let a little milk dry on your nipple after each feed - worked a treat for me I never had cracked or particularly sore nipples.

feeding on one side may easier than the other - stick with trying both sides but don't panic if you feel one side 'works better' - eventually it evens up

Use a bf cushion (or similar support) in the early days - it can temporarily free up a hand to help you with positioning the baby for latching on

use stroking during a feed (either on babies hand, foot or back of head (if no forceps etc used) to keep a "lazy" baby stimulated during the feed

if your baby is fretful when latching on - try quietly singing to them - sounds mad, but it helps keep you calm and if done regularly is a trigger for the baby to know the milk is coming which seems to calm them too

I had an awful experience in the first few days and was frantically leafing through books to find the answers I needed when I got home.

Within the first few hours of DD being born they put her on me but I had no idea whether she was feeding or not and was too tired to even really notice - wasn't with it much! It was late afternoon so by the time I got to the maternity ward it was night time and the care was practically non-existent. My epidural hadn't worn off so couldn't get out of bed to reach baby and had to keep pressing emergency button but was made to feel guilty. Had no idea whether I should feed her. Tried in the morning but still no-one was with me so I had no idea. Very busy hospital, so I was discharged that afternoon. They asked if she'd been on my breast and I said yes, but not sure how effective it had been.

Got home. Kept trying to feed but DD wasn't interested and seemed distressed. I felt panicked because I thought she'd be dehydrated. Phoned hospital back. No help. Ended up squeezing my own boob into cup and trying to get her to drink that - about 2 sips (that was after about 2 hours of trying to find info in a book). (wish I'd known about this site then!). All she did was sleep, then on day 3 cried constantly. I now know this was hunger but I stupidly thought they needed to feed only once every couple of hours.

The nurse who came to visit me at home was very good and did show me how to latch properly (which is easy when they are there) but I wish they had told me about how often they feed and what to expect in the first 24hrs. Never felt so alone and desperate. Thought poor DD was going to starve! Also nobody told me how easier it is to mix formula with breast! Oh and one other thing that confused me so much was which boob they should feed on. Never got that one!

DD 20 months now.

You are doing a wonderful thing, and good luck to you. I'm sure it will be very fulfilling and rewarding.

If your hospital is relaxed about such things and it's possible for the mum, suggest that they think about staying an extra night night in hospital. I had an 'enforced' extra night due to not getting antibiotics during a super fast delivery and ds2 hitting the floor when I delivered very unexpectedly and standing up (he was fine, fortunately!).

It was the best thing for getting feeding established. I had help when he wanted to feed but the milk wasn't properly in and I wasn't trying to look after a toddler and husband and feed a newborn. I think that turfing you out the same or next day isn't helpful, although I appreciate that not everyone is lucky in having outside support/childcare.