if breast is best, then logically, bottle is second best?

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tee hee heee
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I obviously live in a completely different world to everyone, because I have never had a comment which I've interpreted as negative or judgemental. On this subject anyway (had plenty on other subjects! )

What's wrong with second best???
I do loads of things for my kids that are second best and dont feel guilty at all. Why must we break our heads striving to always give the best to our kids and berate ourselves and others if we dont achieve this?
I breastfed ds and am still bf dd but I do loads of things that are nowhere near best for them as well.

I do my best and sometimes I dont.

I think parenting would be pretty horrid if you spent your time trying to be a mythical parent giving the best.

There are so many people here that get so angry about BREAST/BOTTLE

Why does it matter to anyone else what someone else here does with their baby?

I actually had more negative comments and 'looks' (obviously the looks are only my interpretation) while BF DS1 in public, than I did when Bottlefeeding DS2

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What I do think is unacceptable is second best advice from the so called health professionals with regard to bf.

Caligula, it's not about others looking down on me, it's the fact I didn't give my dd the best, I gave her second best. That hurts and always will. I will never ever be able to joke about it.

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YAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWN

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Absolutely, spod. What sort of example would we be to our kids if they thought you had to be perfect parents??

But why is it anyone else's business?

It doesn't matter to me what anyone else does with their child. But it does matter to me that women who want to bf are not being supported by our medical system to do so, even though the benefits to mothers, children and the NHS as a whole are perfectly well understood.

I agree with Caligula. Thats why dd1 was mixed fed and gave up the breast. Midwife/mother/family/society made it impossible for me to continue to feed her and that makes me angry. I fought hard to be able to feed DD2 and just ignored all the "experts" who told me to stop because I was convinced that in this respect they were talking out of their backsides.

I know the pressures on people to bottle feed and know how insideous they are and I know formula is for some a necessaty and I would never look down on women who choose/have to do so. I do look down a bit on the people who make it so difficult. I ignored my Dr but I still respect him about so many other things.

and if their 'best' is what is "Logically" (Seen as though it's always "BREAST IS BEST" 2nd best - who cares????

TBH I think a lot of the pressure comes from people who think that because someone's "failed" at BF (like I did 2nd time around) they're automatically going to feel guilty and therefore we have to make them feel 'better' by not talking about it somehow - think it's a kind of 'reverse psychology' or something like that..

the point i raised is that this is for many mothers one that is charged with a whole load of guilt. and as such isn't one to have a joke about.
the reasons for the guild are not the issue. the fact of the matter is thatfor many women who try to bf and cannot( asopposdbto those who choose not to b/f), the topic is full of real upset.
grabted the topic will be raised for honest discussion, but does it have to be the topic of a joke?

it's not about making people feel BETTER, it's about not making them feel crap in the first place.

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I wonder if anyone has had a recent birth in the NHS and not been advised to bottlefeed by health professionals?

Does anyone know the definition for "Logically"

" Based on earlier or otherwise known statements, events, or conditions;"

An 'earlier' statment - which has been around for years is "Breast is Best" - it's everywhere you go that's baby related - even most of the babychanging rooms I've been in in shops have had at least one poster with that written on it. Therefore "logically" bottlefeeding is 2nd best.

CAn't actually believe some people are getting so wound up about it.

The ones IMO who make people feel crap about it are the sanctimonious succesful breastfeeders, always harping on about how well they did and criticising bottle feeders - and believe me - I've seen plenty of threads (on here too) where people have come down EXTREMELY hard on bottlefeeders (and working mums, and mum's who feed their babies jarred food etc etc)

"no,some women who try and "fail" to bf simply do feel guilty/awful and if it was something they reallywanted to do i can understand why."

But why do they feel awful - because people tell them that 2nd best isn't good enough!!! When we all know that 2nd best is perfectly acceptable!

Hmm. A platitude from Eleanor Roosevelt springs to mind. "nobody can make you feel bad unless you allow them to".

I've always thought that's somewhat simplistic, but there is a grain of truth in it. I can't imagine allowing anyone to make me feel bad about bottlefeeding my DD. But that's because of my attitudes to bf, parenting and myself I guess, and how they all combine.

i agree qoq. second best is perfectly acceptable. but this is a topic that always ends up winding people up on mumsnet.
i just wanted some lighthearted chat, instead of the heavy stuff of the last few days. .... and look what happens.

good for you two, QOQ and Caligula - not everyone is so confident in their parenting ability.

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