Anyone interested in an 'extended' bfers support thread?

[lilysma]

Not sure what I mean by 'extended' exactly - maybe it's a self defined thing?

I define myself as an 'extended' bfer because I hardly know anyone else bfing a child as old as mine (DD is 26 months) and feel the need to discuss some issues with people also doing this and wonder if anyone else does??

Anyone up for an informal support thread on this?

Hey weasle, brilliant that you managed to go to 2 years without any support. well done you and happy birthday to your DS

thanks guys

i am very stubborn!

BAbieseverywhere - ds and I had a similar conversation a while back. He actually cried when I told him that he would never have a baby in his tummy and he wouldn't be able to feed it milk either. He asked how he would ever get to have a baby, so I explained that he has to find a girl who will have his baby in her tummy for him. This didn't seem to remove the disappointment any for him but at least he didn't ask me how the baby would get in there!! [we'll deal with that one later emoticon]

Poor wee lamb. I guess it shows how important the whole breastfeeding relationship is for him.

Since I last posted, we are just down to token feeds, and he seems to have stopped asking for milk at bedtime . He does get a bit frustrated that there's "NOT ENOUGH MILK MUMMY". At least now he is beginning to tolerate dairy a bit better, so I am less worried about his calcium intake.

Awww Mawbroon, your DS sounds so sweet!

Ds has gone back to feeding once during the night sigh, usually at 3am - 4am, and then he insists I stay in bed with him, he just likes to snuggle up to me, tbh I really don't mind
I've been poorly last few days with migraine, and he has been going from being an absolute horror, throwing constant tantrums and refusing to do as he is told, to being very sweet and snuggling up to me going "ahhh!".

What a sweet story babieseverywhere (and eek, as I've just realised that I didn't reply to your CAT - am useless if I don't do stuff right away - sorry).

I suspect that your ds will feed like a newborn again when the baby arrives mawbroon.

Well all is fine here. Dd (3.10) is still feeding, but just first thing in the morning for about 15 seconds or so. Ds (14 months) has molars coming through and is wanting to feed a little more than usual, though I'm not sure if that is down to the teeth, or down to my supply lessening due to the pregnancy.

Am 12 weeks now, and all fine except for discovering today that I have gestational diabetes again already.

Hello everyone!
DD is still going strong. She is going away tomorrow and not coming home until Christmas eve . I think that X and family think that if she can survive for several days without it then she should give it up.
She generally falls on me the minute she's through the door accompanied by X pointedly saying "and there was none of that while she was away, either"... Erm, maybe because I wasn't there to feed her?

OH mrsjammi 10 months is still so little cant believe there are no other proud bfers around you

Hello!

34 weeks pregnant now, DS 3.4 feeding 0-2 x per day. Not sure what he'll do once the baby comes. Sometimes he says he's having milk until the baby comes, other times he speculatates on which side will be his once the baby comes, and always chooses the better one!! I think he'll feed a bit more for a while, to get himself though the upheaval.
Get the cringy feeling every now and then too. It's better now since have colostrum, and guess as he's feeding alot less, I can't really mind

sweet toddlers BabiesE and Mawbroon!

weasle - I went through a phase where I felt like nothing was there and feeding was uncomfortable (but different from the initial soreness), but I think my colostrum has come in already! (16weeks) as DS has picked up interest again and seems to actually be swallowing ocassionally.

I'm also trying to get him used to the idea that there's a baby in my tummy now I'm showing, but he still insists on jumping on me!

Hello people I am coming to join this thread if that's OK - DS2 will be 1 on Friday, and I definitely get the feeling from others that our BFing is extended! It doesn't feel like that to us, we are still really happy apart from thrush and mastitis issues!

Much New Year Cheer to you all x

Me too! Apologies for not reading all the older posts (yet!) but my only other RL bf friend has just stopped feeding her DS who was 2 at the time...my dd is 2.1 and I'm feeling all alone now!

Welcome Nac!!!

Well fancy meeting you here Caz

thanks chairmum.

hi caz, i remember you from the early days of bf, delighted to see you also still going. i think you returned to work at similar time to me? or had weight gain issues? not sure which of my problems i remember you from . seems ages ago now!

hello MAC. It often seems like you are the only person feeding an older baby, but this thread proves you we are not and it is great to have support from it.

can I join you guys?

DS is almost 14 months, so I guess I'm a "fledgling" extended BFer? . I know a few people in RL who have fed beyond a year, and only one who is still feeding at 22 months so not much RL support.

We are having a few issues at the minute, so looking forward to being able to talk them out with like minded mums!

Hellooo!
BT how nice to "see" you! I keep trying to read our PN thread and catch up but never manage all of the threads. I hope you and DS are well? And still bf obviously!

weasle - you probably remember me from all of these problems . My "tiny acorn" is now 2yrs and on the 91st centile - BLW agreed with her!! Also been back at work since 9mths - that HAS been hard but we are coping!

Hey Daisy!

Can't say announce it on Facebook just yet, as DH has a couple of work friends on his friends list, but he will be handing his notice in on Monday as he has a new job... and we will be relocating to Sheffield!!!

So we shall have to meet up more often!

Caz - yes it can be tough at times keeping up with the PN thread! I was wondering who else was left on our thread who was still bfing! I think Awen is likely to be, but haven't seen her around for a while. Not sure who else!

Woohoo BT; Sheffield is only 40 mins drive for me and there is a fab soft play next to the big cinema near Meadowhall!

caz, were you on the knicker checker thread when pregnant with your DD?

Welcome Daisy - nice to see you here .

And welcome to everyone else too.

DS tells me that now I seem to have more "special milk" (colostrum) and he is asking all the time for milk.... I do wonder if it's because we are on holiday and haven't gone anywhere much because of the snow. It's been lying for a fortnight now, and still hasn't let up yet!!!

I have given up wondering if he's given up!! I won't be at all surprised if he's still going when he's 5 in october!

Hi all, I'm looking for some advice from tandem feeders (maybe WMMC and Stealth could help me?). I now have DS2 (6 weeks) and am tandem feeding with DS1 (2.6) and after a good start its going a bit wrong! I knew I was setting myself up for problems as still co-sleeping with DS1, but he was sleeping through before the birth so it was all fine at that stage.

Since then though, he has started wanting to feed more regularly during the day and also waking 3 or more times at night wanting to feed. He has also appeared to drop his lunchtime nap but is so cranky and tired he is a PITA all day and then flakes out at 4/5/6pm. I can't keep him awake any longer than this, so he started waking early in the morning - 3.20am he was up and wanting to play this morning - hell!

I'm grumpy with him and shouty at the moment which is upsetting me. On the good side, DS2 sleeps brilliantly, DS1 is lovely and gentle with his new brother and generally fine when DS2 is feeding, unless he is tired when he wants 'his turn now'!

Did other tandem feeders find that their older child wanted to feed more regularly and does this settle down? (if so, how can I encourage this?). Also, any tips for getting our nap and sleep routine back on track?

preggersplayspop- I haven't tandem fed (yet!), but from what I've read from people who have, an increase in feeding frequency with the older child is quite common. I think it's a combination of the increase in supply following the pregnancy dip and the fact they want to still have their 'mummy' time.

I think it's a case of the old 'it will pass in time' thing, which doesn't help you in the short term, but maybe will keep you going in the meantime.

I'll be in the same position as you when DC2 arrives, as I co-sleep with DS atm and he'll be 2.3 when the baby is born. I don't see myself stopping him from co-sleeping before the birth, but expect it will cause some problems in the short-term.

Do you find that DS1 wakes when DS2 cries in the night?

Also, have you read 'Adventures in Tandem Feeding'? I have it but haven't read much yet. It might give you some answers?

Hi Preggersplayspop - ah I remember it well - your DS1 is finding it really hard to adjust and wants to be a baby again because he can see it means getting lots of love and attention and that's great. Of course it makes you cross and tired! So you have a choice - you either tell him not milk after X o'clock because older babies don't need it (and face the yelling for a few days) or you go with it. It doesn't last long (you are probably through the worst of it already). DD demanded milk continually for about eight weeks and I said 'fine but DS needs to have a 'go' first' (and felt like a dairy cow for all of that period and was quite grumpy too!)

Having said, it did settle down and I found stickerbooks were really helpful 'you do some stickers while I feed DS and then you can have some milk' or 'would you prefer a chocolate button?'

Getting the sleep routine back, well make night times boring, do the same thing every night and bore your toddler into submission.

It will get better. DD has pretty much weaned now, unless she's sick she never asks for milk (though she is 'nursing' a menagerie of unicorns and fairies every night herself )

We also have a 2 year gap between DD and DS and tandem nurse. Currently 17 months and 3.5 years old and still nursing !!!

Yes, at the start toddler DD went move to full time milk for a time and cut back on solids. It did calm down after a few months back to normal, can't remember when mind.

As DD was already night weaned before baby DS arrived, for my sanity I kept that break. So whilst she was welcome to join us in bed at night, she was only offered water in a cup overnight whilst I nursed baby DS.

As for the 'my turn' thing. I usually feed my children on their own but if everyone melts down at once then I feed them together in the underarm rugby hold, like this It works wonders but makes me feel very touched out so I only feed them together when I had too

All the best.

Thanks for the replies, I think I do need to do the same thing every night/day and stick to it and this is where I am going wrong at the moment. I just feel like I am flailing around trying different things, and DS1 is getting confused and its not fair on him. I've had family visiting which has disrupted things a bit but hopefully now they have gone things will settle down a bit.

I feel like a cow at times too! DS1 is generally good about taking his turn, except at night when he's too tired to think rationally and so gets frustrated when DS2 gets looked after first and I find it really hard to know what to do then.

Milk supply has been a bit of an issue - definitely in abundance so I think this has been a novelty for DS1 where it pretty much tailed off in pregnancy. I am finding I have too much of it now and this has been a problem in the evenings for DS2 who gets windy because its flowing too fast for him to cope with. I don't know if I am doing the right thing, but I have been feeding DS1 mainly from one side and DS2 from the other and hoping each boob will sort themselves out eventually!

Thanks again for your support, we are going to get DS1 to nap today (whatever it takes, even if we have to drive and drive with a warm car!) and try to get him back to a normal bedtime. And to think I used to moan about him waking at 5.30 - I would kill for that today!!

I've now been thinking of TTCing again, though not until the summer.
I really think before I do I need to night wean ds, as he has gone back to feeding 2-3 times a night, and I think I will find this very hard once I fall pregnant as I was soooo tired during the first trimester!
DS is still the boob monster at 2 years old now (he turned 2 just after Christmas) and I honestly cannot seem him stopping any time soon!

DH will hopefully be granted garden leave for 2 months when he hands his notice in on Monday (he is going to be managing the same large supermarket chain account for his new company as his current one, and although he will be selling a different product, there is a clear conflict of interest) which means I will have no problem getting him into going into DS at night - I avoided doing it before as he has a fairly long commute to work every day and I don't want him driving tired.

So give me your tips!!