Anyone interested in an 'extended' bfers support thread?

[lilysma]

Not sure what I mean by 'extended' exactly - maybe it's a self defined thing?

I define myself as an 'extended' bfer because I hardly know anyone else bfing a child as old as mine (DD is 26 months) and feel the need to discuss some issues with people also doing this and wonder if anyone else does??

Anyone up for an informal support thread on this?

'My worry about completely seperating the older babies off is that the mothers of the younger babies won't get a chance to tap into the wealth of knowledge and experience on offer from the mothers of older babies/toddlers.'

Absolutely - I think that is why they are keen not to be too rigid in defining who the groups are for, ages of all babies are welcome at both, it is up to you which group you wish to attend.

I had an interesting experience today. DS is, when well and well-rested, only having 3-4 feeds a day (bedtime, one night, morning, and naptime (if we're home for it))

We met up with some mums with very similarly aged babies (all within a few weeks), all of whom had breastfed for some time between 6 months and 14 months. DS had a couple of feeds, which didn't really raise an eyebrow (he thankfully fell asleep on me as he was shattered) but it turned the conversation to breastfeeding.

I found it odd and amusing that three breastfeeders (one who had mixed fed twins to 11mo) couldn't seem to grasp why I have kept going - and they really couldn't grasp the idea that I'm planning to keep going. I admitted that I preferred it on the days when he sticks to 4 feeds a day but that it was all worth it - better milk for teething than calpol! When I said I was happy to, in theory, keep going till 3 or so, they were gobsmacked.

Anyway, some cheeky part of me decided to up the ante a bit and tell them that I was hoping to tandem feed (I'd like to get pregnant again within the next year) if its not too uncomfortable to feed. They think I'm crazy

I think I just felt like I wanted to share this because it felt like a bit of a watershed to me - instead of feeling the need to justify myself and feeling a bit wierd, I was able to feel proud that I am doing this for my son, and very sure that it is the right thing. I still feed sad that I am so outnumbered on this, but a bit more liberated about it.

Good for you!

I'm going to ttc in the summer, I'm kind of hoping ds will still be feeding then... I think he will though!

He does seem to be feeding much less during the day atm!

Hi all, hope you are all well.

We have some progress with the night weaning. DS is still waking up a couple of times in the night. He asks for milk, but when I tell him no and cuddle him, he is back asleep within a couple of minutes. This is doing wonders for my sleeping. Sometimes he comes in with us, sometimes I go in with him, so we are still co sleeping without feeding which I thought would have been impossible!!

The flip side of this is that he wants to feed more through the day, but I was kind of expecting that to be the case and am happy to go along with it.

DS has just got a new cousin, so in the days leading up to the birth, we were talking about babies in tummies. He said he would have a baby in his tummy when he was grown up and seemed terribly disappointed when I told him that it's only girls that have babies in their tummies. He then asked "how will I get a baby?", so I told him that he had to find a girl who would have his baby in her tummy, so he said "mummy, will you have my baby in your tummy" Awww, how cute. So, he was over the disappointment of that, when he then asked if he would get milk in his boobs. He was visibly distraught when i broke it to him that only mummies have milk in their boobs. He has been going on about it for days now. I guess that breastfeeding is very important to him.

Aww bless your ds, Mawbroon!

Still bf-ing twins at 34 months. Will it ever stop naturally? I wonder - I am guessing it will - I have no intention of cutting them off but am quite surprised that it's still going on. Was not in my plan - only way I could get sleep.
I would love to have some email chums with bf-ing toddlers for general support - it's not particularly easy. I did find a good list of tips online for weaning toddlers and the best of these was "Don't sit down" - hahahaha. Here's the link:
www.minti.com/parenting-advice/4249/10-Tried-and-True-Tips-on-Weaning-Toddlers/
Once I sit down they are on me like a shot. It has been great and very useful in many ways but crazy too. Hey ho. Any more thoughts anyone?

Just wanted to share my experience from the other day. DD2 is two weeks old and on Tuesday the health visitor came round. DD1 (24 months) began pulling at my top which prompted HV to tell me to please feed her if that's what she wants, and to remark to DD1 that she was a very lucky little girl.
It was lovely to have that validation after so many people thinking I was mad to not stop nursing DD1 as soon as I discovered I was pregnant.

LOL at "don't sit down" My ds is getting so tall that he can almost pull at my bra when I am standing up!! [shortarse]

How nice to find this thread - so much sense and support and so many things resonate for me. LO is 15 months and I am not feeling like giving up any time soon, but MIL and DH seem to think I should so I am having to think about it whether/why I would stop. Especially since I think I have just got thrush!

cyberkath's link
Not very cyber are you

But I take my hat off to you bfing twins for 34 months, that is truly inspiring - so many people think it is not even possible to bf twins even for a few weeks!

LOL at short Mawbroon!! No worries here, I'm short but so is ds!

Puzzlerocks - see there are a few clued up HVs! Nice to hear good things about HV instead of tales of how crap they are. I'm very lucky in that the HVs where I am are generally very very good.

Oh and I went to bfing support group on Wednesday and I wasn't alone! I bumped into a mum I hadn't seen in ages down town on Saturday afternoon, and she said she hadn't seen me at Baby Cafe for a while - I work Tuesdays when it is held - and I asked her if she knew about the Wednesday group - and she didn't! So she said she'd come along, she has a 3yo dd(not sure if she is still bf or not) and 17mo ds (month older than mine).
And she was there when I arrived with both dcs The people who run the group are putting posters up and they'll talk to the mums who go to the Lunch Club (as we have to call it now!) to encourage some of the other mums to go to the Wednesday group.

Can I join in please. I keep meanaing to join this thread then events tend to overtake me.
I would like to compare notes. DS2 is 22 months DD is 10 weeks, DS2 has suddenly started nursing loads and being really demnding about it.
Could this be
a) He has suddnly realised DD is not going away and is jealous
or,
b)Do they go through some kind of developmental leap at around this age and could the extra nursing be down to that and needing security/comfort?
Does anyone have any experience of this?

WoT - DD2 (2yrs) had dropped all but her bedtime and the occasional morning feed until DD2 (2wks) came along. Now she is back to frequently asking during the day. I don't think it's jealousy as such, because she is very sweet with her sister, just her way of ensuring some one to one time with me perhaps.

Thanks for the reply. That is probably part of it.
I just wondered because DS1 got 'jealous' of DS2 when he was around 23 months. I assumed it was because DS2 was 6 months and suddenly getting more attention from my brothers. However I'm now wondering if it is an age thing. DS2 is very affectionate and constantly cuddling anyway.
I'm probably over analysing it but it is a little difficult when I've got her nursing and him tugging at the otherside of my top/nightie going 'boobie please mum. Milk. Boobie'

WoT- my ds fed LOADS at this age. He is an only, so no sib rivalry coming into it.

We did move house when he was around that age though, and then he had a spell when he was ill constantly. He became dairy intolerent around that age, so I encouraged the frequent feeding.

But, I can't help feeling that all these factors are red herrings and that he would have fed this much anyway.

FFS, DH has been saying very unhelpful stuff again.

We have been working on night weaning. DS has done really well and hasn't fed in the night for around 3 weeks or so (bar the other night when he really wasn't well). As a knock on effect, he has been asking to feed more in the day which is exactly what I expected to happen.

Today, we were in a cafe and ds asked for milk. He is still not very well and was obviously tired and in need of some comfort.

DH scowled and said to DS "you don't have milk in the day any more" which is not the case. He claims he didn't know, but I have told him on several occasions. Then DH said to me, "oh you just want to get them out because you're such an activist, wanting to breastfeed in public all the time".

I was absolutely fuming, then to top it off, he then said to DS that he was too old to be having milk.

I can't begin to even talk about it with him just now, I am so angry.

Just wondering if someone can tell me what nutrition DD is getting from me at 18 months please?
Genuine question.
DH keeps saying she dosn't need it anymore and she isn't getting anything out of it I know she is but not sure exactly what and I want to know so I can say "Well actually...."

Also am I still giving her protection from bugs etc??
I should know but cant think at the mo.

Is she getting any calcium?
She refuses cows milk totally so I am giving her Yoghurts, cheese, hovis half and half bread etc just want to make sure she is getting enough.

Thanks in advance

Here you go

Thanks that was great!

Hi not terribly regular poster but can I join too, I fed my ds for 14 months and have been feeding DD for 21 months. DD doesnt seem to much like other types of milk so this gives me a little bonus reason to continue . DD's pref would be to bf like a baby most days ( I do say after lunch, after bath etc sometimes). she still feeds at night but we dont properly co-sleep so tiring esp as ds who is 3 still wakes most nights.

Mawbroon at your DH!

Of course they don't NEED it in the sense that they will die without it, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't have it if he wants it! And he'll still be getting lots of advantages from it too!

Might as well say he doesn't need hugs and kisses!!

Give him a big boot up the arse and make him read your link, Mawbroon!

Hmm, I got a "sorry you're upset, but......" apology today, which isn't really an apology at all.

He's all for breastfeeding when it means he doesn't have to get up in the night/deal with upset ds etc etc, and then this.

I'd like to join-I am feeding my dd who turned two this week.I didn't think it was that extraordinary but my GP said recently " you should stop that now and get your life back" she was horrified,honestly,which suddenly made me feel a bit shy about it,which I hate myself for feeling.

Welcome hellmelly, and at your GP.

Oh, Mawbroon, I feel your pain, XP told me the other day that it was "unnatural" to still be feeding DD at 25 months. When I commented to one of my friends about what he'd said, she looked a bit uncomfortable and said "well, he's got a point". I feel as though I'm going to have to start hiding it, which is ridiculous

Fairylights.

Did you ever move btw? Fancy meeting up for a cup of tea?