Anyone interested in an 'extended' bfers support thread?

[lilysma]

Not sure what I mean by 'extended' exactly - maybe it's a self defined thing?

I define myself as an 'extended' bfer because I hardly know anyone else bfing a child as old as mine (DD is 26 months) and feel the need to discuss some issues with people also doing this and wonder if anyone else does??

Anyone up for an informal support thread on this?

Hi I'd like to join in this thread, still BF a small amount at one year and do not know anyone else in RL that does same. Can I ask a question to you extended ladies?

I would like to keep on BF for as long as DS wants. He is 12 months and I only do bedtime feed now but happy and want to keep that going as long as. But I also still would like ttc #2 and have no periods yet (although am starting to feel a bit crampy and possibly hormonal since cutting down from 2 to 1 feed). Did you ladies that have more than one baby find able to conceive whle BF? I know the stats that it is possible but be good to hear.

clothaddict, I think your question about breastfeeding and fertility can only be answered by seeing what happens!

There are plenty women on MN who have conceived whilst breastfeeding. And then at the other end of the spectrum, there's me who has had a regular cycle since ds was about 12 months, but have failed to conceive (apart from a very early mc) for over two years. DS is 3.5yo and still feeds quite a bit, and I have no doubt that it is the breastfeeding stopping me conceiving.

Give it a go and good luck.

I'm now 'officially' extended feeding, as DS is 13 m and still a boob monster! I thought he was cutting himself down to 4 or even 3 feeds a day a few weeks back, but since then he's had a couple of nasty bugs that had him off food for days, and milk was all he was taking. And even when he's better, he's still asking me for milk - usually by sticking a hand down my top and fishing about for my nipple!

We both love it (not the nipple fishing, the bf) and I have no plans to stop, in fact I'm rather hoping he'll still be feeding long after I get stuck into the BF counsellor training I'm hoping to be accepted onto soon. It'll sort of reinforce why I want to train.

A question for all you hardcore extended feeders - if I go away for 4 nights, leaving DS with DH and some expressed milk (and maybe some non-mummy milk, as I'm a rubbish expresser) is DS likely to break from breastfeeding entirely? I'd hate to go away and force weaning. He'll be about 18 months by then, by the way.

Mama,

At 18 months your DS will be fine with whatever expressed milk you can do plus calcium heavy food and cow's milk.

Your milk supply should be fine. I take it you will be pumping for comfort whilst you are away.

That said there is no way to know for sure how your son will handle you being away for 4 days. He might joyfully return to the breast, take a while to return (i.e. Nursing Strike) or possible self wean (though I can't see this being a high risk in an 18 month old but it has to be considered)

Good luck

Ahhhhhh My Poor Nipples are so soooooore!

Sorry I had to let that out!
For some reason DD 18 months has turned into a boob obsessed creature with big sharp teeth!
Think she has some canines coming through so must feel rough for her but still!!

I was hoping to slowly wean her off but she has other ideas.

Any suggestions would be great.

Hi all haven't been on this thread for a while but since i last posted my DS (17 mo) has actually cut down quite a bit and now we are down to nighttime feeds only (mostly - the odd feed to sleep during the day when at the end of my tether!). Feel a bit sad as I feel the end is nigh and it is hard to imagine my DS was once a complete milk monster.

Mummy2LZ - I feel your pain! Canines coming through here too and although my DS is not feeding so much it is not as comfortable as usual. My DS also seemed to go through a little growth spurt recently so maybe your daughter is just having one of those weeks and next week will be completely different. I have cut down gradually by offering my DS snacks and drinks initially when he asks for a feed but still offering bmilk if he is insistent. It feels nice and natural.

Mama - I know quite a few people who have been away from their LOs for a few days then picked up where they left off with bfeeding. I am going away for a couple of nights soon and I am hoping that it doesn't upset the bfeeding relationship too much.

Greedygirl, Hope this doesn't upset you but my DD did cut down a lot at the same age as your DS...yet we are still nursing and she is 2.8 years old !!!

Greedygirl - I have thought that the end is nigh umpteen times with my ds. And he's still feeding at 3.5yo.

Just when I think he is about to fizzle out, he gets ill, or we go away, or something happens to make him want to feed all the time and we are back to square one!

So, I guess you maybe have to decide which way you want it to go and take if from there? Or maybe you could just see what your dd wants

Good luck

mawbroon - its actually really helpful for me to hear that. I have twice now got DS down to 4 feeds a day (generally through offering snacks instead of feeds during the day) and both times after a time he's returned to asking for feeds a lot more. Its the days when he asks every time I sit down that are the hardest

I actually like it when he goes down to 4 feeds as it feels like plenty to keep us going, but isn't so demanding. Sometimes I'd just rather give him a cuddle. But knowing that the ups and downs are normal helps me to think that if I let him feed in the day for a while we're not going to be stuck like that for the next 2-3 years!b

Hello all,

I haven't posted here for ages but I feel the need to reach out as I am finding more and more people disaprove of the fact that I am still feeding my 18 month DS. My gran looked at me and said 'surely there isn't anything he wants down there now' when DS was pulling at my top. My SIL who has a DD a bit younger said she is weaning now as SHE doesn't want to get to the stage where her DD is asking to be fed which DS does all the time (he calls it boo boo) and none of the mothers from my antenatal class are still feeding. In fact once when DS asked for boo boo when we were out one of the other mothers said 'um no how about a drink of water'.

Thing is I have no issue with the fact that I still feed him, he loves it and he is happy. It's free and stopping would cause him distress. But I find it hard when people are disaproving all the time - like I have to justify myself or make excuses.

On a happier note I saw a woman breastfeeding her toddler at deep sea world in Scotland and I wanted to cheer and tell her well done so if that lady is on this thread then thanks because it helped me to see I am not the only one out there BF a toddler!

LOL, was it me at deep sea world I wonder.....

It was on Saturday just outside the tunnel bit. That would be cool if it was - I nearly spoke to who ever it was but didn't want to come across as a total nutter!

Nope, wasn't me Stefka, but glad to hear there are others feeding out and about.

Re feeling on your own, are there any breastfeeding support groups nearby? Our LLL group alternates between young babies at one meeting and older babies/toddlers at the next. It is always reassuring to know that even at 3.5yo, ds isn't the oldest nursling in Edinburgh! (Not that it would matter if he was of course!)

I have decided to try night weaning again. I was getting so sleep deprived and have been quite ill for over a week now, so decided that enough was enough. We have done it for two nights now and ds is surprisingly co-operative. Watch this space!

How are you doing it? I would really like to night wean too as I am soooo tired.

Shame it wasn't you - that would have been funny!

I am doing exactly what I did a few (maybe 8) months ago, however it was awful the last time. So bad, I went right back to night feeding because his behaviour during the day really slid and i wasn't prepared to deal with it when it could be easily remedied by carrying on night feeding.

Anyway,this time, I told him during the day a few times that there would be no more milk at night. Only bedtime and in the morning. So, when he woke, I cuddled him. He was crying and wailing for milk and I told him I knew it was hard not to have milk, and that I understood he was sad and angry, but remember mummy has to sleep in the night, not do milk all night, etc etc. He cuddled in and went to sleep no problem with his teddy bear (a new development, he's never been interested in them before).

Normally I would just fall asleep beside him, but I made the effort to stay awake (it only took a few minutes) and go back to my own bed. This was to avoid letting him feed in my sleep! The first night, he woke twice and then at 5.30am when he woke saying he was really hungry, I let him have his morning feed then.

We have done three nights of this, and so far so good. However, from past experience it takes three weeks or so for the full effects to become visible. Time will tell if he is ready this time.

He has wanted more milk during the day though. But I am happier to give him a day feed if it means no more nights!

DS is 3.6yo btw.

Hi
I was on here a while back asking about ttc and BF. Just to update- my periods returned a week before his 1st birthday! I still bf just once day now and obviously cutting back to that amount was enough for me. Not actively ttc yet but glad i can feel that can continue BF for as long as now, as I was worrid I'd have to stop completely.

By the way I don't feel that I have much milk left really on one feed but he is really happy to still feed and gets loads comfort- I take it that is ok and there will actually still be a bit of milk?? I can hear some swallowing! I'm happy just sticking to one feed rather than more as he doesn't "ask" for anymore and I feel it gives me a bit more freedom. He now takes cows milk to drink in daytime.

I'm going to a new breastfeeding support group, this afternoon. It's for mums with older, mobile babies.
I still think ds could well be the oldest one that at just shy of 16mo. But I hope I am proven wrong!

Good luck, hope you enjoy it!

Somehow I managed to miss this thread, can I join?
DD has just turned 2 and we are still feeding regularly. I have finally stopped feeding her to sleep this month, which has resulted in her dropping a night feed with only the gentlest persuasion. The first week I fed her and then her dad put her to bed and went to her at midnight/ 1am when she woke up. She has accepted that she doesn't get milk then which means I get to sleep alone until at least 4:30am.
Her behaviour hasn't been affected and my patience is greatly improved due to the extra sleep, so I know I'm doing the right thing. The best bit is that on the odd occasion when I want to go out, I don't have to put DD to bed first and then spend the evening waiting to be called home to settle her again- hooray!

Daniel was indeed the oldest.
He was also the youngest.

Yep you've guessed it, he was the only one!!

clothaddict - sorry, didn't mean to ignore you. good news about your periods coming back. Good luck when it comes to ttc.

Bouncingturtle re the group. I've been to a breastfeeding support group like that before. I went for weeks on end and not one other person showed up. I was the only breastfeeder in the village though.....

fairlylights - i can't believe that your dd is 2!! Glad to hear that things are going well for you. Fingers crossed the night weaning is as succesful here.

Mawbroon- I found that XP getting up to DD really helped break the habit. The first couple of nights she was really upset and calling for me, which was horrible, she'd take about half an hour to settle. By the end of the week she's see that it was him, turn over and be asleep again within 5mins- she knew he was no use to her!

When it went back to being me getting up to her, I wore a long kaftan to sleep in, so that I was less accessable, because she was literally tearing at my pj's demanding milk. It took her a few days to accept that "milkies are sleeping" but she's ok now.

I had to do it, her sleep pattern was ridiculous, she'd got to the stage of waking every 2hrs like a new born and I was exhausted!

My fingers are firmly crossed for you, Good Luck

Grrr had a really long post and DS has just deleted for me!

FLF - YEp, been there, sleep deprivation is a killer! DS is getting better I think!

Mawbroon, I'm still hopeful for the group, it's just that my local Surestart are terrible at publicising their services!
There is what used to be the Baby Cafe and has now been renamed Breastfeeder's Lunch Club on a Tuesday. It is very popular and there has been some concern that new mums are being put off coming as there are quite a few older babies and toddlers that go. So they have started this new group to try and encourage mums with older babies and toddlers to go to this group and leave the Lunch Club for the mums with non-mobile babies. Though they are not trying to put age limits on either club, newborns would be welcome at the Older Baby Group, equally there is no plan to stop older babies and toddlers being at the lunch club.
It's good that they are very keen to ensure that everyone is catered for and most importantly, that they recognise just because you have been bfing for months/years you still may need support! Even if is a pat on the back

The group I go to make it very clear that anybody is welcome at either group, but the focus will be on the younger/older babies depending on which week it is IYSWIM.

My worry about completely seperating the older babies off is that the mothers of the younger babies won't get a chance to tap into the wealth of knowledge and experience on offer from the mothers of older babies/toddlers.