Is not bf-ing the worst thing you can do....

[Alderney]

Sorry, really don't want to start some sort of pro/anti bf-ing argument here..

I've been thinking about this recently for various reasons..

Pufflet is 14 months old - she was bf for 1 day - she wouldn't latch on at all and we moved to ff-ing.

I'm happy with this choice and see lots of positives in it...

However I have been "condemned" on many occassions for "not doing the best for my baby" and "not doing what is natural" - I have been glared at in public for mixing up formula, and I have had so many people assume I've breastfed....I know people who bf have similar issues and experiences

I know people who have been very very commited to breastfeeding, who then, when their baby is on solids, feed them all sorts of pre-processed sugar loaded crap. I know people who seem happy to have their children brought up by various parents, step parents, nurseries etc while they go off and "follow their dreams".....I know people who will agonise over which school to send their child to and will go to great lengths to get into a good one.....I know people who take their chidren on vast educational holidays and give them fantastic experiences...To these people they have made other choices that I can just see having a greater effect on a child's life in totality...

I know breastfeeding or formula feeding is one of the first choices a mother makes, and many people see it as important, but is choosing to formula feed really THAT wrong in the whole life big picture....
(I know all the immune system/obesity arguments and reasons for breastfeeding - whilst I don't thing bf-ing is a great panacea for all things, I do recognise that there is scientific evidence which says bfing is better for babies and mum's all round health)

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Bosscat, likening to incest isn't "a hint of negativity"...

Pruni, perhaps feeling slightly sensitive after a GP at the weekend physically recoiled when I said I was breastfeeding DS at one year old and that six months was "quite enough", then told me "they bite, you know"!!

But yes, there have been negative things said about breastfeeding on here - lots of them. Mainly that people don't like the idea of their baby sucking their breast, etc.

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Haven't yet, Pruni

Going back to see paediatrician re DS's kidneys so will raise it then I think. Want a name to write to - don't just want to be mental patient liaison service email nutter

HM, what's wrong with ds's kidneys? Big xx

New thread coming up - this one not the right place for it, Dinny! xxx

I am a very ashamed bottle feeder, I failed abismally at bf twice. I hate the fact that I have bottle fed ,and do my best to hide the evidence. IMO bf feeding is beautiful and natural, the only problem I have with bf mothers is that I am very of them.

You don't have to be ashamed, sandycheeks. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Please don't be so had on yourself, Sandycheeks. It doesn't always work out, however hard you try.

btw, felt exactly the same as you for a long time! please just concentrate on being the wonderful mum I am sure you are to your two babies. x

I have two wonderful individuals which I love very much. dd had her 3 year check up with hv today, and she said that she was a very bright young lady But I seem to have been griefing because I was not successful at bf. My mother bf me, and so since I was a little girl I never ever imagined that I would ff.

me too, Sandycheeks. was`lucky as it worked the second time. but it only worked because ds made it work - totally out of my control. dd is nearly 3 too and I adore her. have wasted so much energy torturing myself about not bfing her. determined to look forward now not back. lots of hugs to you xxx

It's brilliant that you are bf now, it's so easy if you have had a bad experience first time around that you don't try the second time to avoid the pain. I sound so dramatic it's hysterical, honestly now in rl I'm a very balanced and happy go lucky person. But I did find when things went wrong second time around that I felt even worse. I have come to the conclusion now that I have usless boobs.

Sandycheeks, that's exactly how I felt (and still do when I think about not feeding dd myself). Really feel for you, hon. It will fade slowly. In the meantime look at your gorgeous little ones and congratulate yourself for making such amazing babies. xx

Sandycheeks, that's exactly how I felt (and still do when I think about not feeding dd myself). Really feel for you, hon. It will fade slowly. In the meantime look at your gorgeous little ones and congratulate yourself for making such amazing babies. xx

My SIL stopped bfeeding because her husband found it disgusting in a sexual way. He has always called me a mad hippy for bfeeding ds until he was 2. He used to leave the table if I bfed ds at sunday lunch. This never stopped me doing it though!

Little old ladies frequently used to come up to me and congratulate me on bfeeding in public. I guess this means that I was never very discreet.

I would like to add that when it worked I found breastfeeding a physically pleasant feeling as well as and emotionally satisfying one. To read many of the posts on here you may have got the impression that it always feels like "having your nipples attacked by red hot tongs" or whatever the comment was. I never felt sexually attracted to my small baby however - that would be very, very wierd.

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Can't believe the tirade of comments that followed Dragontree's post! Do any of you really think that she was intimating that breastfeeding was child abuse? Oh come on!! Many women see their breasts as sexual organs primarily and that informs their attitude to breastfeeding. I don't see it that way myself, but I know people who do. It's up to them. But I suppose if you do see your breasts as sexual then b/fing your child may somehow seem slightly sexual too, therefore slightly incestuous. It might seem a dotty opionion to the majority of women but does it really deserve such a response? Have you completely lost your sense of proportion?

Sorry, I know I'm new here, but I have to stick my big fat oar in! I think we should feel sorry for dragontree. She is either stark raving mad or she's just said that to wind people up(probably thr latter, as she see's no reason to explain herself). Possibly she feels guilty at ff so she has to make some bizarre excuse to justify herself. I have to say that I do not find bf a particularly pleasant experience, it's something I do because I know it's best for my children. What the hell do people think we did b4 the mad invention of bottles and formula? How can we possibly believe that we can compete with hundreds of years of evolution and magically turn cows milk - hey guess what-designed for calfs into something better than mums milk-u guessed it designed 4 babies. What the hell must dragontree think about the women who used to be 'wet-nurses' and feed babies who would otherwise have died.
I think we are all too worried about being politically correct these days and we have to make things "ok" for people who choose not to bf and we must not upset their feelings, where as there seems to be no similar concern for parents who choose to bf, we are seen as 'weird, hippy child abusers' but supposed to keep quiet and not retaliate to someone who expresses these feelings about us!
As for the initial posting from alderney, I don't think ff is the worst thing you can do for your child, but hey, we're not trying to do the worst-we want whats best!
And when she says that she knows loads of mums who bf their babies and them wean them with loads of pre-processed crap - duh what do you think is in that carton of crap you give your baby? Pre processed, dried up crap. At least those misinformed mums who did wean onto such stuff at least gave their babies some of the best stuff.