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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Is not bf-ing the worst thing you can do....

180 replies

Alderney · 04/04/2005 18:16

Sorry, really don't want to start some sort of pro/anti bf-ing argument here..

I've been thinking about this recently for various reasons..

Pufflet is 14 months old - she was bf for 1 day - she wouldn't latch on at all and we moved to ff-ing.

I'm happy with this choice and see lots of positives in it...

However I have been "condemned" on many occassions for "not doing the best for my baby" and "not doing what is natural" - I have been glared at in public for mixing up formula, and I have had so many people assume I've breastfed....I know people who bf have similar issues and experiences

I know people who have been very very commited to breastfeeding, who then, when their baby is on solids, feed them all sorts of pre-processed sugar loaded crap. I know people who seem happy to have their children brought up by various parents, step parents, nurseries etc while they go off and "follow their dreams".....I know people who will agonise over which school to send their child to and will go to great lengths to get into a good one.....I know people who take their chidren on vast educational holidays and give them fantastic experiences...To these people they have made other choices that I can just see having a greater effect on a child's life in totality...

I know breastfeeding or formula feeding is one of the first choices a mother makes, and many people see it as important, but is choosing to formula feed really THAT wrong in the whole life big picture....
(I know all the immune system/obesity arguments and reasons for breastfeeding - whilst I don't thing bf-ing is a great panacea for all things, I do recognise that there is scientific evidence which says bfing is better for babies and mum's all round health)

OP posts:
zebraXing · 04/04/2005 19:39

Who are the (self-appointed) Mumsnet Police, then, Twiglett?

The people who say "Actually, I don't think you did do the right thing that time..."

Or the people who say "You have no right to ever criticise anybody else on this forum, ever ever. We should only say nice things to each other, no criticism of actions allowed"?

And of course, rather wonder if I number among the self-appointed coppers (IYHO). Buggering off & wondering why I bother, since I've already been typecast as "the sort of person you really don't want on Mumsnet".

Twiglett · 04/04/2005 19:43

the latter one of course

plus those who say 'if you don't like it don't post'

piffle · 04/04/2005 19:46

surely there is a home page warning to take our dear (!!!) Cod with a large pinch of salt

laneydaye · 04/04/2005 19:52

please keep the messages coming....... these kind of threads are better than watching telly....

Original poster
Alderney · 05/04/2005 08:11

Well, I definately know know that I shouldn't have started this one...

Just a thought though, if that happens on ALL forums when anything regarding bfing and ffing is mentioned, where DO people actually go for ffing support....

"Oh yes, we are a forum to support each other in our parenting choices" is often said...however there are some things that its impossible to get any support for sometimes. Its clearly impossible to have an informed musig or discussion..

OP posts:
Mud · 05/04/2005 08:14

Just read this with surprise and humour, though not surprised it has gone this way

Careful on your high horse there Alderney - you might just fall off

Oh and by the way, if you click on the Breast and Formula Feeding topic there are millions of posts discussing it

Mud · 05/04/2005 08:16

Sorry, that was harsh

I thought you started this thread saying you were happy with your choice, and you know all the pros and cons of both, and it sounded like a reasoned post looking to evoke an intellectual discussion. Doesn't sound like you have an issue that you need to work out at all. If you do I'm sorry

People who read it didn't want to go there, again, it seems. So don't get annoyed because they didn't.

chickenchowmein · 05/04/2005 08:25

Alderney - Nothing wrong with your post at all. However, there seems to be an 'in' crowd who seem to have more rights than others on this site. The 'in' crowd must have extremely dull jobs, no relationships and no kids, otherwise how do they find the time to spend hours on here?

saadia · 05/04/2005 08:25

I just think that we in this generation and country are very lucky to have good quality formula milk available so that we do have a choice. Babies do thrive on it. Lots of people in lots of countries don't have a choice. I think we are in danger of becoming too introspective and self-obsessesed, worrying about things way too much.

Fio2 · 05/04/2005 08:33

must go tell my no relationship to work harder and ring the social about my kids

I have no job, i have no job, what shall i do, what shall i do

dont go zebra , I LOVE you

piffle · 05/04/2005 08:36

well chickenchowmein hark at you
I'm off to my dull job (stay at home mum with sleeping child, crap relationship (he is oddly enough at work and works away a lot, I have no family close so MN is where I socialise at such times.
How dare you pigeonhole prolific posters like that, perhaps we just think faster, and type quicker!
And alderney, just do not feel guilty about your choices and don't get others to validate your choices, the guilt train is part of motherhood, save the guilt for the really hard stuff later on
And what processed crap was being fed to previously breastfed tot?

lockets · 05/04/2005 08:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Fio2 · 05/04/2005 08:48

who cares anyway?????

cod · 05/04/2005 08:54

Message withdrawn

Mud · 05/04/2005 09:15

oh, please - lets?

I find this amazing as I am sure I am not of the in-crowd as I post sporadically and not often

so that means I have a good relationship, excellent job, and 500 children I suppose

Mud · 05/04/2005 09:16

I post "sporadically and not often"

I'm dead good at English written stuff too

cod · 05/04/2005 09:23

Message withdrawn

Fio2 · 05/04/2005 09:26

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

munz · 05/04/2005 09:29

ooh er another one of these threads! I am and always have been of the view as long as my child is eating I don't care how it's fed!

JoolsToo · 05/04/2005 09:34

yes, as long as its not rummaging through dustbins

hunkermunker · 05/04/2005 09:35

People feed their children with their breasts?! Whatever next!

marthamoo · 05/04/2005 09:40

Oh this is a fun thread...

lou33 · 05/04/2005 09:58

wanders by whistling nonchalently, with mod hat in hand, making sure the girls are behaving.......

ionesmum · 05/04/2005 10:36

Alderney, you have every right to start this thread. As mum who has both ff and bf, I know that ff is bloody hard work and requires a lot of commitment in terms of sterilising, mixing etc. Breastfeeding is a doddle by comparison - even though I've had cracked nipples and the rest.

So, no, ff isn't wrong. And us mums should back off and give each other a break. Society is on our backs enough without us slagging each other off, ffs.

chickenchowmein · 05/04/2005 13:17

Piffle - my posting was a joke to see if anyone would bother responding to it. Not a funny one I admit but a joke all the same. Anyway, I was not referring to you, like myself you only spend 23 hours a day on Mumsnet. I was talking about the people who spend all day on there. You can normally recognise them by their dull jobs, lack of relationship and no kids. (God, am I bored today!) Does anyone know when Loose Women is going to be brought back on ITV?