why would anyone CHOOSE not to bf? if they know its the best thing for the baby?

[milkgoddessmakesthefinestmilk]

this totally baffles me, , i truely cannot understand it.

i can understand it, if you try and find it too difficult, and decide its not working out for you.
but i honestly can not understand why a mother would not even want to.
surely every mum only wants the best for their baby?

is it because they do not understand the risks of giving formula?

I just wanted to say that I agree with Policywonk- Xenia was vicious and insulting. I don't find her upsetting, narrow minded, yes. As for this op I think she's a bit naive and lacking in diplomacy. You'll find lots of posts on MN talking about the greater health benefits of BF, but there also loads of stories on here that would answer the OP if she did her research, rather than challenging people to justify themselves. I don't feel the need to justify myself to either milky, or Xenia.

why did I choose to ff?? instead of bf??

Lots of what I think are valid reasons which I am not going to post again (for fear of boring everyone)

I know all the benefts of breastfeeding and made an informed choice that worked for me and ds who is now a happy healthy 3 year old

but can someone please tell me why me making this decision is such a big deal for lots of people on mn who dont know me? I dont understand this at all

Dont judge a man till you have walked a mile in his shoes and all that

milky, have you noticed that some of the posters you're most upsetting with this nonsense are other bf-ers? why do you think that is?

when ignorant sanctimonious women like you say things like this about bf-ers all of us get branded as smug, judgmental, pompous, agressive militant bf-ers and that's not helping anyone.

many people grow up in families where bf-ing is seen as something dirty and perverted, they know nothing else.

other women have serious body issues and can't stand the thought of their bodies being exposed like that.

many women are given inaccurate advice by families and health professionals and base their decisions on that.

others like the mothers of multiples make an educated and informed decision about whether they think bf-ing 2 babies simultaneously is something they want to do (yes it can be done, but is is necessarily the best decision for the baby if it means mommy is getting 1 hour sleep a night and has a baby latched on to her almost 24/7?)

others simply don't feel the benefits outweigh the downsides. that is their choice. everyone parents differantly and as long as baby is happy and well cared for every mothers choice is a good one.

(btw, your name is not only offensive to ff-ers, it's offensive and a put down to other bf-ers. all bm is equally good, your's isn't made from gold dust sweetie, it curdles just like everyone elses)

maybe it's so they can max out on the happy pills and start taking their temazepam to control their panic attacks again, milky.

that could be it!

maybe you're right, they're bonkers - they're mentally ill and they need to take medications and get lots of sleep to avoid insanity, suicidal thoughts and descent into the utter despair and hopelessness that is the mental illness PND.

ok i havent read the thread i have scroled down again to see arguments

so will say what i ahve said on another thread

basically chill folks

i have big kids 20 23 and 24 and the least of any iof our problems or thought s s hwo jhad how much breast milk

is who had how much breastmilk

or why tbh

What a horrible, judgy OP.

Luckily I don't need to add anything to PinkTulips' eloquent post!

I think this poster has started a few threads which really boil down to 'her' thinking that women who dare to consider themselves human beings with options outside of fulltime domestic service are evil. I think this poster is probably a man with a very small cock.

i'm still confused about the sunday lunch?

Xenia isn't even on this thread to defend herself, MG is now rehashing old arguments which have nothing to do with BF or FF.

Please explain how exactly your utopian society would function, where parents don't have to work? Perhaps you and your husband are very wealthy. Lucky you. Other people here aren't.

Exactly hatrick - although I suppose we should be grateful, "milkgoddess" was previously expressing the view that people who work don't deserve to even have children, at least she seems to have moderated her views and hasn't gone quite that far on the issue of FF.

For some reason it seems to be not "done" on MN to accuse people of being trolls, but I really do think that MG behaviour is troll like. She may actually be a genuine mother with these views but her way of expressing them is disingenious, inflammatory and nasty.

You know - I'm quite shocked at the level of vitriol on this thread directed against the OP.

Anyone would think from reading them that she'd expressed the view that bottlefeeding mums were evil. She hasn't expressed that view or anything approaching it, but many people here are reading that into her post.

I see words like this:

ignorant
sanctimonious
smug
judgmental
pompous
aggressive
militant

And then I look at what she's actually said in her OP and I think - the world has gone mad!

TBH the comments on here say shed loads more about the insecurities of mothers on this issue than they reflect on the admitted insensitivity of the OP.

the OP has posted other deliberately provaocative threads/comments she is is lil ole mixer.so no i actually see other mums justifiably responding to a contentious inflammatory poster

so i reiterate milkgoddessmakesthefinestmilk - you have a habit of starting these nasty ole threads berating others. are you so inadequate that you project deep rooted loathing onto others?

PinkTulips you voiced my thoughts exactly and in a better way!

To Op only, not being drawn in to usual bunfight

Various reasons. Ignorance about the reality of breastfeeding, an unwillingness to be the sole carer for their child, a fear that they will never get away or get a break, peer group pressure, familial pressure (is it worth losing both sets of grandparents over?), a need to spend time looking after other, older children, antenatal depression, previous sexual abuse involving the breasts, extreme self consciousness about showing breasts in public ...

The reasons are multitudinous. It does not always boil down to 'selfish'.

So she's implying that some mums don't seem to want what's best for their babies. So what!

Why the hysteria?

If we were having this discussion about women's choices for their school age children I think we'd be expressing ourselves a bit differently. Once our kids are older we're quite happy to accept that although all parents WANT the best for their children, not all parents CHOOSE what's best for their children, despite the fact that they love them to distraction.

Genuinely go read other reactions the the OP and i would call it measure not "hysteria". deliberately provocative OP has done this before

I'm sorry Sabire but you WOULD take offence and have hurt feelings if you FF and then she implied you didnt love YOUR children as much as she loves HER children. That's out of order and doesnt belong on this forum. IMO.

georgiemama, you seem intent on misrepresenting both the original post on this thread and the original post on the other thread.

I think sabire and pinkyminky have it spot on.

have what spot on? the OP is an eloquent intellectual poster and we are all "hysterical" i think not

I wouldn't call the OP eloquent (sorry, OP), no. I think pinkyminky was spot on to call her naive and clumsy, and I tihnk sabire was spot on to say that it is perfectly valid to have a discussion of these issues. And yes, some of your responses have been way OTT, as well as dishonest in the way they represented the OP's views on the other thread.