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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

who *isn't* ashamed to admit using formula?

635 replies

LookingForwardToSummer · 30/04/2008 11:42

feeling crap after reading the 'exclusive breastfeeding' thread! i find bf really hard and have set myself the target of 5 months, i intend to feel very proud that i went that long and then use formula happily! i can't be the only one! all the stats show low bf rates - so where is everyone?

OP posts:
Bubbaloo · 30/04/2008 13:12

I formula fed both our boys and I'm certainly not ashamed to admit it.
I didn't even contemplate breast feeding and I defiantely don't feel guilty about it.
Everyone has their own opinions and are free to make whatever choice they choose.They are both very happy,healthy children.

DANCESwithLordPottingtonSmythe · 30/04/2008 13:13

ME! I breastfed then mixed formula and breastfeeding until dc were 4 months old then they were just on formula after that. They are bright, gorgeous children, I'm so proud of them. Also one of my bf didn't breastfeed at all and her son is also totally fab.

Original poster
LookingForwardToSummer · 30/04/2008 13:13

hunker - i think you have missed the point, of course women should have access to more support to help them bf but people who ff should be supported too. and the support should be just that, not pressure. A friend of mine had such an anti formula mw who told her not ff - even though friend could see that lo was ill. anyway baby ended up dangerously dehydrated and on a drip. if friend had not consulted gp instead of mw things might have gone very wrong.

OP posts:
VacantlyPretty · 30/04/2008 13:14

Message withdrawn

hunkermunker · 30/04/2008 13:15

The other thread was more about the overwhelming notion in the developed world that you bf for a bit, then move to formula. 92% of babies have formula at some point in the first 6m. Only 35% of babies are exclusively bfed by the end of their first week of life.

And women feel largely shit about it.

So what do they do? Shout at anyone who talks about supporting breastfeeding and says things like "If you switch to formula, happy mummy, happy baby" overlooking the fact that actually, moving to formula doesn't, for a lot of women, make them very happy at all.

SWC, thank you - it was hard to write - I have another in draft form re talking about risks of ff rather than benefits of bf (gets you to the same place, but puts bf as the baseline, not ff) - but that's proving trickier.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 30/04/2008 13:15

I dont get the shame either - particularly if you have chosen to move to formula. How bizarre!

I had used formula for DD after b/feeding.

kayzisexpecting · 30/04/2008 13:15

I dont think every mum will bf ever. Some just dont want too.

Most of my friends that are around my age(22) don't BF due to cosmetic reasons I don't know if there is any truth in it but they think their breats will shrink and they refuse for that to happen.

My MW and HV just said to me keep trying whenever I asked for help and then moaned that DS wasn't putting weight on quick enough. You can't win sometimes.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 30/04/2008 13:15

And whoops - I still havent changed your password hunker

YummyDummyMummy · 30/04/2008 13:18

im not ashamed i dont think people should be!

some people stress ut so much about breastfeeding they are too tired, emotionally exhausted and worried to actually enjoy their baby...if its not working out for whatever reason then use formula and spend time being happy with your baby!

PuppyMonkey · 30/04/2008 13:20

Hunker, I don't think anyone shouts at anyone who talks about supporting breastfeeding. I wholeheartedly and categorically and other long words-edly support you!

I think the op just wanted to start a thread supporting those who had used ff and felt quite ok about it actually.

Martha200 · 30/04/2008 13:21

I don't feel guilty though initially I did because I was paying too much attention to those around me rather than focus on me and my baby! (much as this forum has been a real help, I also allowed it to make myself feel crap when it came to feeding.)

I am a mix feeder, ds1 ff, so I was determined to BF, got bf established but then I needed to make a decision and cut back on the breastfeeding purely for my mental health.. perhaps that makes me a failure in other areas but now I am at peace
and feel able to go out rather than hibernate because I got fed up of hearing about how one feeds their baby or mine everytime I went out to a baby group.

Mercy · 30/04/2008 13:22

Not a good thread title imo (sorry LFTS)

twinkleymum · 30/04/2008 13:23

I will be switching to ff soon as going back to work part-time and don't get on with expressing. Nothing to do with other people's opinions or pressures. I like bf but don't have a problem switching to ff.

MrsMattie · 30/04/2008 13:24

Hunker, so what is the way forward? To ignore what women like those on this thread think and feel? These women have a right to voice their experiences. In fact, surely this should all be helpful to anyone wanting to get to the bottom of why breast feeding rates are so low in this country?

hunkermunker · 30/04/2008 13:28

I know why bf rates in this country are so low - well, one of the main reasons.

It's because health professionals often don't see bf as important. Oh, yes, they pay lip service to the breast is best thing (which I loathe) but they aren't that fussed about actually helping women to bf once the baby's here - because there's formula for them to recommend.

And they have the infant formula advertising in their journals that they can spout to women.

More from me later. Possibly.

MrsMattie · 30/04/2008 13:31

I think that's only the tip of the iceberg@hunker.
I think there are deeply ingrained cultural reasons for it that go back a couple of generations. I also think the whole maternity service offered to women in this country isn't woman-focused enough, so that everything becomes about what's best for the baby (which is obviously hugely important!) without a thought to the mum.

AbricotsSecs · 30/04/2008 13:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

claraquitetirednow · 30/04/2008 13:32

Agree that other thread looked like it would be unbearable - I decided not to read it as it would make me cross and probably post something I would later regret. I bf both dd's for 4/5 months and have just, by choice, moved to formula with dd2. I am perfectly happy with my decision but coming on MN too often keeps making me question why I gave up when I wasn't finding it difficult (it was very hard at the beginning but I was obviously one of the lucky ones and got really good help from a local bf'ing counsellor). However everyone I speak to in RL says I'm mad to feel guilty and congratulates me on how well I did.

I think I'll start a thread saying "Who else has never given their toddler chocolate" - that'll get them going. Not true by the way, couldn't have got through potty training without chocolate buttons!

Mercy · 30/04/2008 13:38

Agree Mrs Mattie.

Also, most of the midwives etc I came across didn't have children themselves and/or had no personal experience of breastfeeding.

And if there is some form of medical problem post-birth I found that that was concentrated on to the detriment of breastfeeding support (that was my experience anyway)

claraquitetirednow · 30/04/2008 13:38

Hunker - I assume it must be different depending on which part of the country you give birth in, but I didn't come across that attitude at all when I gave birth. No-one ever spoke to me about formula, I was helped with breastfeeding whenever I needed it and we were armed with lots of numbers for local breastfeeding counsellors and helplines when I left the hospital.

I did have lots of problems at the beginning (both times) but was given good support from midwives, health visitors and in particular our excellent hospital breastfeeding expert and carried on to 4 months plus with both dd's.

I'm not questioning what you are saying - it sounds like you are a bit of an expert on the subject. But it's not bad everywhere.

margoandjerry · 30/04/2008 13:45

Also let me throw another MN grenade into this. It's very difficult to exclusively bf if you WOHM. I went back to work at six months which means from five months I was working on introducing bottles. OK you could express but expressing is the worst thing I've ever had to do in my whole life and there's no way I could express at work. Absolutely no way.

So for me, formula was a perfectly reasonable way to start my DD on the route to me going back to work, her going onto solids, the whole milk thing becoming less of an issue.

There is a massive prob with bfing in this country but it's really not women introducing formula at a few months old. It's hostility at the beginning. If the target starts to become exclusive bfing for two years or whatever totally unattainable (for most people) nonsense the WHO comes out with then we might as well all give up now.

I have no problem with women who want to do extended bf but I was never going to do it ever in a million years and I would actively campaign having that as a public policy goal. It's unattainable for most and is one of those things that's a nice to have but really is not the main point. Let's not make the best the enemy of the good.

scottishmummy · 30/04/2008 13:48

no shame in using formula.none whatsoever.we shouldn't beat ourselves/each other up about this

MrsMattie · 30/04/2008 13:50

Very good point@margoandjerry.

sabire · 30/04/2008 13:50

Breastfeeding rates are low in this country for three very basic reasons:

a) That common birth practices sabotage the establishment of breastfeeding in the first week

a) That breastfeeding isn't understood well by either mothers or health professionals hence quickly goes wrong and can't easily be put right.

b) And (if you leave aside health professionals who have received a proper training in this area, and a proportion of breastfeeding mothers), most people feel it doesn't actually really matter how a baby is fed - evidenced by the squillions of 'happy mummy, happy baby' comments all over the internet whenever this issue is discussed. If it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things then there's no incentive to actually press for meaningful change.

And there are 3 basic ways to fix the situation:

Improve maternity care for all mothers - however they are feeding their babies

Improve training and education on infant feeding

Educate people about the differences between breast and formula feeding.

Personally I think that if this one was attended to FIRST, then there'd be more support to implement the others. But it won't be because it involves airing some socially and emotionally inconvenient facts.

sabire · 30/04/2008 13:57

"It's unattainable for most"

Sorry margoandjerry, what's unattainable for most?

Breastfeeding for a year or more?

Most women around the world who breastfeed, breastfeed for this long. And work. And raise families.

Why is it unattainable for us here?

I've bf all my three for over a year, and worked. Most women I know who are still bf at a year are also working.

What is it about UK culture that requires us to prematurely wean our babies in order to function as normal adults?