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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

who *isn't* ashamed to admit using formula?

635 replies

LookingForwardToSummer · 30/04/2008 11:42

feeling crap after reading the 'exclusive breastfeeding' thread! i find bf really hard and have set myself the target of 5 months, i intend to feel very proud that i went that long and then use formula happily! i can't be the only one! all the stats show low bf rates - so where is everyone?

OP posts:
Cicatrice · 30/04/2008 12:44

I tried very hard to breastfeed but DS would not lactch on. I had a lot of help both in hospital and at home, and went to a breast feeding clinic as well.

I expressed for three months, but then moved to mixed feeding and formula because I just couldn't get out of the house! I don't feel guilty, I did my level best. Although I was very down about it at the time, and DH discouraged me from attending a mother & baby group where everyone apart from me had established BF straightforwardly.

expatinscotland · 30/04/2008 12:46

FFS, hunker, i never said you were judging!

i said that in my last post!

look, i'm off this.

tbh, it's been done to death.

it's wearing, i'm struggling to get my AND under control and i really need to starting moving on entirely, to be frank, because there's a lot else on with DD1's SN just now and we're in the fight of our lives trying to stay here and find a home - i need to be focusing on other stuff.

just thought i'd put my point of view across on this thread because there are others here who were sharing and it seemed the thread to do it.

Original poster
LookingForwardToSummer · 30/04/2008 12:48

puppy - yes you are right, thread title was a response to the smugness of the 'never used formula' thread! but i was trying not to use the word smug. i was just trying to provide a bit of balance, not make people angry!
my thoughts are complicated;
1 i find bf hard
2 i love bf
3 i was lucky to have really good, non-pressurising support from nhs
4 all women should have access to help if they want / need it
5 if i ff i will feel bad but also relieved
6 i don't want to feel guilty if i ff

but mainly that we are all love our babies and are trying our best to look after them but we allhave different situations, babies and boobs so we should all be able to get on in our one way and everyone else should just shut up!!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 30/04/2008 12:48

and two of the drains are totally blocked up.

there are only two plumbers in the region who deal with blocked external drains, and one's at Inverary Castle today, the other's in friggin' Musselburgh.

so i'm having to stop every now and again to clear what i can with a crowbar as there are downpours here the day.

and the bathtub and sink keep backing up.

i'm waiting for the toilet to back up, as one drain is spewing bog roll.

thank heaven for good neighbours when you need a wash!

hunkermunker · 30/04/2008 12:50

Anyway, this is what I've said on this recently

I want more access to impartial information, not the shite that's out there now, the ill-informed unpleasantness that HVs dish out, etc.

As it is now, anything that is posted on here is either ignored (see today's posting re Cot Death) or shouted down with "Well, my child's fine!" This might be something that's talking in general terms about longterm effects, but someone's 17mo eats well and isn't fat, so that's got to be evidence that formula's utterly fine and nobody's allowed to talk about it any more.

It pisses me off.

Disenchanted · 30/04/2008 12:50

My auntie NEVER tried BFing, she just didn't want to. Didn't like the thought.

So what?

She FF her son, he is a happy, beautiful little boy.

Shes a fantastic mum.

FF isn't abuse its just a choice, Its not like she neglected hima nd didn't feed him ata ll!! Sometimes people on here act like its akin to that!

Original poster
LookingForwardToSummer · 30/04/2008 12:52

expat - yes this was supposed to a thread to make ffers feel less out numbered, it has been invaded! i hope your day gets better.

OP posts:
kayzisexpecting · 30/04/2008 12:54

I cant believe some people can get so het up about how another mum feeds their baby.

My sister refused to BF her exact words were "I carried the bloody thing for 9 months, if she thinks I am bf she can piss off"

My cousin who had a baby a couple of months ago makes snide comments about my sis and me FF as she BF with a fag hanging out of her gob. She says she is doing the best for her DD as ash falls off the fag and on to her DD.

As long as mum and baby are healthy and happy, I dont care.

Titter · 30/04/2008 12:55

lovely words there from your sister

Sexonlegs · 30/04/2008 12:55

Hi.

I was ashamed of using formula first time around. I remember dd1 needing fed whilst at an NCT mums group, and everyone else was bf. I actually drove home and fed here there.

Second time around, dd2 was formula fed from day 1, and I will never ever regret it.

Trying to establish bf with dd1 ruined our bonding - I wasn't going to chance it with dd2.

CountessDracula · 30/04/2008 12:56

kayz is that a joke?

hunkermunker · 30/04/2008 12:57

It's NOT a choice for a lot of women.

For the ones it IS a choice for, hooray - brilliant, I really mean this - great stuff.

So going "leave everyone alone to make their own decisions" sounds great, but it's a shit way to treat women, really.

The have you never used formula wasn't started as a smug thread, I can assure you of that.

angel1976 · 30/04/2008 12:57

I tried damn hard to bf my son and felt so guilty about giving formula that I tried time and time again before finally giving up in tears and exhaustion.

He has been exclusively FF since 6 weeks and a grumpy little thing but I think that's inherited from daddy, not the FF!

Still, I love him to death and whether I FF or BF has nothing to do with the amount of love I have for him.

smallwhitecat · 30/04/2008 12:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

kayzisexpecting · 30/04/2008 12:58

My sister is a grade A PITA! My niece was a result of a 1 night stand. Sis have never taken to motherhood very well. Niece is 7 and has been told she was a mistake. Even if my kids were accidents I'd never tell them that.

kayzisexpecting · 30/04/2008 12:59

I wish Countess, I sat with my mouth wide open when I saw her do it.

MrsMattie · 30/04/2008 12:59

But what's being done about all this, hunker? Because nitpicking and sniping at women who are already formula feeding (which goes on a lot on MN, let's be honest) isn't exactly doing much to change things.

bringmesunshine · 30/04/2008 12:59

Hurrah for personal choice! FF or BF who cares as long as the DC is given milk/food

It is an individuals choice - I choose to never have a vaginal birth - 2 lovely maternal choice no medical reason electives here but I would defend any womans right to give birth to their child how they so wish as I would defend a womans right to choose how to feed said child.

I do think that the geveral tone from some posters can be a little militant and generally tend to avoid those sort of threads, along with Steiner Waldorf and Gifted and Talented

hunkermunker · 30/04/2008 13:02

MrsM, I agree, it doesn't do anything to change anything. What's being done? Loads of things, but you try to do anything that improves breastfeeding rates and you get told off for making women who couldn't feel guilty.

It's shit.

macaco · 30/04/2008 13:06

I'm soooooo glad to see this thread as the other one was making me (first time mix feeding mum) feel a bit crap and very angry. DS born early and wouldn't latch on for a week (despite a LOT of help from an excellent midwife). Low birth weight so started formula cos it's that or risk dropping from under 5 lbs while I wait a week for him to get the idea...I don't think so. Now 5 weeks old and on the breast every feed but not managing to fill up completely..stamina still lacking...so topped up with formula. I've written all this but actually I don't know why, I shouldn't have to explain my choice to anyone....I'm proud to mix feed! He's disgustingly healthy, he's getting BM, I'm feeling calm and rested and in control and he's putting on weight like you wouldn't believe.
I'm glad he's getting some BM and I've had the experience of BFing but really....there is nothing wrong with formula.

Countingthegreyhairs · 30/04/2008 13:07

I wasn't able to bf (despite trying hard to do so while receiving loads of support and advice and pumping equipment!!) so I'm just thankful I live in the developed world where formula and sterile water are readily available ....

twinkleymum · 30/04/2008 13:09

I'm still mix feeding at 6mo. DD has 2 ff a day and 6 bf . This means I get more sleep at night as DD falls asleep on the boob. I find bf easy now, but really struggled for the first 4 months. I am not ashamed to do ff and hate it when others have a 'superior' attitude. Just do what works for you and your lo

margoandjerry · 30/04/2008 13:09

I did see that other thread and thought it was smug actually. Didn't see the point other than self-congratulation and btw I bfed to 9 months and think bf is great.

Am going to start a thread entitled "I'm 8.5 stone and have never been overweight - who else is like me"

That thread would be a)annoying and b)pointless and c)not true in my case

MrsMattie · 30/04/2008 13:11

Maybe current tactics aren't working?@hunker

I was appalled by the attitude towards formula feeding in an NCT class I recently observed. It was totally skirted over. Fine. Except there was no mention of what would happen if the women found breast feeding hard going. There was a vague mention of 'ring up LLL' or 'speak to your HV'. I mean what bollocks is that? You can't have it both ways. Women need options, not fairytales. I almsot walked out in disgust.

The same attitude seems to exist towards c-section. 'Do not speak of it and it will cease to exist'. Except more and more people are having c-sections and more and more people are formula feeding. So something somewhere is very wrong. Breast is Best hasn't worked. Women obviously know that breast is best for their baby and they still aren't breast feeding. I think a much more frank and honest approach is needed to the whole thing.

ThursdayNext · 30/04/2008 13:11

Looking forward, I think lots of people (maybe most?) find the first few months of breastfeeding DC1 really hard, I certainly did. But then the first couple of months with your first baby are usually pretty tough going however you feed them.
I found from about 3 or 4 months breastfeeding seemed really easy and pleasant. So although like you I was setting myself targets in the early days, by 5 months I felt I had done all the hard work with early feeding and certainly wouldn't have wanted to switch to formula at that stage. You may surprise yourself by being happy to continue once you get to your target - or not, you'll just have to see how you feel at the time.

I'm sorry you found the 'no formula' thread a bit smug. I can see what you mean, but I honestly don't think the intention was to be self-congratulatory. It's just that most people who do breastfeed seem to switch to formula later, so many of us don't know many or any other real life people who haven't switched to formula or breastfed up to or beyond a year. I think the intention is more for mums who have never used formula not to feel like freaky wierdos rather than to make those who use formula feel bad

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